Posts by Neil 30

Earl Grey Drinkers should be shot

Drinking perfume is for tramps. Bewleys Irish Breakfast tea is the tea of proper tea drinkers. It will dissolve your teaspoon at 6 paces.

Blending your own tea is only a "light on your feet" hop skip and jump away from drinking coffee, unless you do it for a living.

Consider his blue brother

Have you though about asking his brother to take his place? He might not be as well trained but he has a strong heart and there is the 50% weight saving to be considered?

Put them all in a fight together

No help from Q branch and see who comes out top.

My money is on George L. beating Daniel C. in the final round.

Just the tip, just for a bit.

Just a thought, but you only need to heat the ignition area, and this could be brought up to temp shortly before launch. So less kit needed, less kit=less weight.

Prison did him good

A few years ago, I saw an old friend of mine in the pub whom I had not seen for a couple of years. He was looking trim and a lot happier than I had seen him in many years.

Wondering why I had not seen him for so long, he explained that the manager/owner of the poxy little insurance company he was working at since leaving school had finally pushed him too far.

[name removed under legal advice] had worked his arse off for this place for several years and even took on the roll of system admin/manager because the boss was too cheap to employ one. Working constant late nights, weekends etc. and never recognised for the value he added to the company, meanwhile the nagging boss kept pushing him harder and harder.

So one night, he poured petrol through the letter box and set fire to it, eventually burning most of the building to the ground.

"How did the police know it was you?" I asked.

"I was waiting for them outside watching it burn" he replied.

I often think that 18months was probably worth the satisfaction in knowing that the boss knew not only who did it but why.

iPlod

So the police spend their day checking out Facebook? Tax money well spent - why is it not blocked in this particular station? Is Facebook data mined by the police these days to pick out people who say "nasty" things about them/government/photographers?

200 quid to fly a chopper? Well I'll book it for a week please, and maybe the iPolice can share the secrets of flying for so cheap - I am sure BA would be interested.

God help you all - all you Bored Brits waiting in damp queues to complain about the lenth of the queue.

I would go on but I am going to the beach now with glass bottles of COLD beer.

Incredible powers of deduction here;

"Using a pair of nail clippers must have caused excruciating pain, even if he had had a few drinks beforehand."

No shit Sherlock!

Mr Ed here

Will I think its a load of bollocks, a horse is a horse of course but not nearly as tasty as dog.