Posts by Your alien overlord - fear me

Names *and* date of birth for former spouses? That was why they're now former. I'm lucky if I remember my own !!!

So, Giles tries really hard to see his officers as everyday heroes? "Tries" really hard but really thinks that they are buffons.

Is there an Australian IR35?

£22m interest on £95m? I want those interest rates.

What's the problem?

Adobe Reader is in the store and Adobe might not be as bug free (or even secure) but at least they can count !!!

You think the Nexus phones sold badly?

How does the ISP know if the encryption I use is breakable unless they break it first? Which would be a hacking offence since it's done by them and not the government. And how can they block it since I run it on port 80 (or 443 or whatever)?

Here's a non-encrypted message to the UK government - FUCK RIGHT OFF.

Pledges are to last 5 years. Pity a pledge is as legally binding as giving you my word !!!

Run it on a computer 10 times faster? Where can I get a good exchange rate for $55,000 ?

Sour krauts

Bitte ?

that's "You're welcome" in German for those who don't get it !!!

"sheer popularity"? I beg to differ.

The Captain better watch his back. Once he's got rid of the need of human pilots, someone higher than him will ask if they really need human sailors.

When the sandbox gets pissed on (by ChromeOS etc), will this result in a mud fight?

Well, in the Oz press, it seems that when an investment corp brought Plutus in March, 3 top execs left to startup their own payroll company. What's the betting, at least one of them was a signatory for the bank account Plutus uses?

If in doubt legislate. Training those departments named in the leaks would probably be cheaper.

I've heard, from a friend obviously, that certain Thai girls can puff pipes from that region.

Why doesn't she just book him again (through an agency, business card in a telephone kiosk etc) and then ask for money rather than giving it? Might be a bit late now, 7 years on, but she should have done it when she found out she was preggers.

Has this been thought of?

How about patenting being a patent troll? Any company trolling would then be liable themselves for unlimited damages :-)

Is hosting on ZeroNet really encrypted? It sounds more like a service the internet was built for - keeping resources alive despite nodule failures.

17 upstarts on its books - or is that 17 upsets?

Did Sky offer him the job thinking el Reg commentards will now go easy on them?

Since all US internet traffic is going through the NSA servers, they have a level playing field after all, regardless if you want to pay to speed things up.

Why not name it after the Silicon god of communication "API" whose main function, as we all know, was to allow communication between disparate entities in a standard way.

Well, as long as you pray hard enough !!!

Has anybody told Trump that Mexicans are stealing 'Murican money? Don't worry, he'll soon have walls built around each taco outlet !!

"deliberately and in full knowledge of the circumstances." - I beg to differ. If I ask my parents to buy it for me for my birthday/Christmas I can assure the ECJ that my parents are way too techie illiterate to be in full knowledge of anything (they're in their 70's bless 'em) and they are the purchasers under consumer law.

I think the Euro lawyers best cancel their holidays whilst they sort this one out,

I think I should start an Indigogo campaign to get enough money so I can buy Twitter. Then I'd just close it down. It just facilitates too much trouble in the world.

Best type of security - kill the PC on your terms before letting miscreants do it :-0

If they're buying lots of stamps, surely it's because they're going to post something?

Brexit, Brexit, Brexit.

1 charge of theft - is that for the patient's dignity?

North Korea, China etc will just blacklist the so-called 'friendly' ISP's entire IP range so their countrymen/women won't even be able to watch funny cat videos. Plus, if it's open sourced, I wonder who might read it ?

Breaking news .... the Smartwater division of the Met has volunteered to rename themselves the water division since none of them are smart !!!!

killed the UPS and tripped it's fuse and took out his home's electrics? Sounds a tad excessive for a brownout. Sure he wasn't testing an EMP cannon?

Why don't they ask Derek Acorah or any of the other psychics about reaching out to the dead and asking where they are? After all, it would prove psychics are the real deal and the relatives would get closure.

Or are psychics not all that they claim to be? (cynical Friday !!!)

What about when you release a Samsung Note 7 to the market? It's resale value really bombed due to technical issues, not users perceived value. What, too soon?

"pay the appropriate victim surcharge" - for dodging train fares or TV licenses? Both 'victims' are already rolling in cash, it'd be criminal to give them more !

Strange how eBay seems to be missing from the list of friends. Or is that because users can't delete 'reviews' of the stuff they buy?