* Posts by Your alien overlord - fear me

1782 publicly visible posts • joined 19 Jun 2009

WATER SURPRISE: Liquid found on Mars, says NASA

Your alien overlord - fear me

Re: Pure water can exist only between zero and 10 degrees centigrade???

Ice has been spotted on the poles of Mercury so Venus, no sweat (it sublimes to quickly!!!)

Your alien overlord - fear me

Re: Things people said in the past, which have since been regretted...

What we really need are cane toads.

Rosetta comet boffins: We can explain why there's a rubber ducky IN SPAAACE

Your alien overlord - fear me

Duh, it's obviously the Martians rubber duck when they had a decent supply of water.

Robot Romeo gets its 'antenna' snapped off in attempt to 'charm' testy American

Your alien overlord - fear me

Well, if I had a loaded weapon and wanted to shoot my load, Kristanna Loken is a perfectly acceptable recipient.

Quadsys Five hacking fraud trial set for mid-December

Your alien overlord - fear me

stealing data - how is that defrauding by pretence (or whatever legal mumbo jumbo they say) ?

Stealing data and going to those pilfered customers and flogging their own services. Standard marketing practice (read the small print next time you tick the 'have you read the t's and c's box') which say you allow others to contact you. Doesn't say 'unless the buggers have swiped your info from our unsecure serers'.

Whoops, there goes my cloud: What to do when AWS foresakes you

Your alien overlord - fear me

Re: Simple fact of life

learns from their peers *and* acts to make sure it doesn't happen to them.

Your alien overlord - fear me

You say boutique suppliers may not have geographic redundancy but it seems neither does AWS or Skype it seems.

This is why I can't get it into my head why people bother with cloudy stuff. At the end of the day, it's just your data sitting on someone else's server, somewhere out of your eyesight. It'll be run by the same level of competence as your own in house engineers (take that either way) but without you knowing exactly how the setup is and what security/resilience/redundancy is in place.

NASA announcement of MAJOR MARS DISCOVERY imminent: WHAT can it be?

Your alien overlord - fear me

They've finally found intelligent life....

in America

Your alien overlord - fear me

How about an option for moist, dirt(y) aliens ?

Your alien overlord - fear me

Doesn't anyone watch the Sky 1 previews? "You,me and the apocalypse" is a fact based fly on the wall documentary and NASA is going to break the bad news that all these doomsday preppers will die with the rest of us.

Cisco who? HP puts Pica8's OS into its open switches

Your alien overlord - fear me

a soup-to-nuts-stack. Hmmm, last time I checked it was a bolts to nuts stack. That is what holds everything together.

EU, China promise 5G cooperation, seek an understanding on standards

Your alien overlord - fear me

Yet again the good old US of A is therefore going to be incompatible with the rest of the world.

PIGS IN SPAAAACE: HAMS send porker to 25,927m

Your alien overlord - fear me

Next, Kermit. To advertise Sky's new series.

Microsoft, Google scramble to COLONISE INDIA

Your alien overlord - fear me

Another billion Indians online. Another billion VoIP phone numbers required for 'tech support' scams.

Yes, I know, more factually correct than politically correct.

332M Kick Ass pirates get asses kicked by scareware ass-kickers

Your alien overlord - fear me

Following the link, it's good to show that YouTube and Facebook are top referals from advertisers. As long as the money comes in, the conscience is overruled.

Mobile advertising DDoS JavaScript drip serves site with 4.5bn hits

Your alien overlord - fear me

This is why it should be manditory to have an ad-blocking HOSTS file on all mobiles and PC's, even if it means an initial lack of advertising revenue for some websites.

My solution (up vote if you care), is to have the websites host the adverts. They are in charge of their content so why not have them liable for their adverts. Works for newspapers.

EU data protection chief: Snaffling all air traveller data goes too far

Your alien overlord - fear me

Well, don't go on French ones.

And since railway tracks over bridges are very easy to unbolt, you don't even need suicide bombers any more.

Me, I'm walking everywhere until my hoverboard arrives in the post.

You want a 6% Google Tax? Get lost, German copyright bods told

Your alien overlord - fear me

Well, as long as Apple News is exempt from all taxes (as Apple currently is), then it's entirely fair to tax Google !!!

'We can handle politicos, OUR ISSUE IS JUDGES', shout GCHQ docs

Your alien overlord - fear me

"not openly swayed by personal contact" - but can easily be brought or blackmailed if need be.

The pachyderm punch: El Reg takes just-over-a-ton Elephone P8000 to tusk

Your alien overlord - fear me

Don't you know you can get one at similar specs for 4 times the price from high end manufacturers !!!!!

German regulator sets VW deadline

Your alien overlord - fear me

Isn't it EU wide? As in if it fails in one country, it fails them all so no KBA approval will mean everyone else rubberstamps the 'git orf our roads' edict.

'In making this Batmobile copyright ruling, we cite one sage Bruce Wayne'

Your alien overlord - fear me

Who is 'Barry'?

NEW ERA for HUMANITY? NASA says something 'major' FOUND ON MARS

Your alien overlord - fear me

They're using it to reveal that all the planets leaders are lizard people and we're about become farm fodder for their growing colonies.

Facebook to users (sorry, PEOPLE): Party like it's 2005 and blog your little hearts out

Your alien overlord - fear me

2005 - shouldn't it be called MyFace?

VW’s case of NOxious emissions: a tale of SMOKE and MIRRORS?

Your alien overlord - fear me

"We knew they were a bunch of hoods and believed it would benefit our readers to break through their bullshit." - pity websites aren't like magazines of old. Nowadays it's all 'Apple is the greatest thing ever' just to get invited to their shindigs (el Reg the notable exception - I take it you don't like the wine and nibbles Apple lays out).

US military personnel investigated for splashing $96,576 on strippers

Your alien overlord - fear me

We've heard of the military black budget - is this their pink budget?

An when the seals go to do 'wet work', it doesn't sound dangerous now does it.

Blighty's GCHQ stashes away 50+ billion records a day on people. Just let that sink in

Your alien overlord - fear me

Why doesn't GCHQ/MI5 start (or buy) a mobo business and also become an ISP - imagine the data they could slurp legitinately.

Tits and ads: Malware-riddled banners stiff X-rated websites

Your alien overlord - fear me

Could you post a list of sites that were compromised. Er, just so I can check that they're OK now (obviously).

US watchdog POKES STICK at Google's Android over rival-blocking allegations

Your alien overlord - fear me

With Android, you might not like the defult installed apps but you can in most cases get a better than Google one, either from the Play store or from the devs website (or XDA).

Try that with Apple. Sewn up tighter than a Scotish gnat's ar$e when asked to buy a round.

Bribing public officials up to $900 is OK-ish, says South Korean court

Your alien overlord - fear me

Why only half their payoff and pension. Civil servants live for their end pension. Fired for being corrupt = loss of pension. Full stop, no random limit. This would also help stop corruption in, say the UK and USA, if any of our/their politicos/civil servants were indeed corrupt.

VW: Just the tip of the pollution iceberg. Who's to blame? Hippies

Your alien overlord - fear me

Adblue - are they taking the pi$$ ?

Get ready for a grim future where bees have shorter tongues

Your alien overlord - fear me

Tongues lick the nectar to keep them alive. Pollen is stashed on their legs by the plants to reproduce because God in his infinite wisdom 6000 years ago when creating this planet forgot to give plants legs so they could wander around reproducing by themselves (triffids are the exception here).

KARMA POLICE: GCHQ spooks spied on every web user ever

Your alien overlord - fear me
Black Helicopters

Wow, back in 2009 every internet user totalled 200k users. Nowadays we're at what, 3.5 billion. That is some growth.

Either that or (a) fake leaked doc winding up the tinhat-ers or (b) GCHQ doesn't realise the internet covers the planet, and users in say North Korea are unlikely to be visible to them in good old Blighty.

Gold bugs, concrete bog roll holders and frolic-friendly furniture: What IS it with designers?

Your alien overlord - fear me

Lina Moon looks like a traditional love seat with a 'guest' - menage a trois anyone?

Facebook's security now sexier, with killer curves

Your alien overlord - fear me

Standard Facebook user - "Er, whats a public key?"

Boffins make brain-to-brain direct communication breakthrough

Your alien overlord - fear me

But if she was drunk would it still stand up in court?

Anthropology boffins solve 9,000-year-old headless body cold case

Your alien overlord - fear me

Maybe Brazil had a nice Chianti back then?

Asia-focussed Chinese PLA hacking crew surfaces

Your alien overlord - fear me

Bit harsh claiming just because someone is using his handle, he's a cyber-crim. It might be some idolised perps are (in their mind) honouring him.

UK in Frenchy cyber love-in to ward off 'information bomb'

Your alien overlord - fear me

"A hundred years ago we stood together on the frontline of a Great War" - er, no. *We* were on the frontline covering the little surrender monkey's ar$es.

Two hundred years ago, we were whipping said ar$es.

France doesn't win much do they?

Ofcom triples licence fees for mobile operators to £200m

Your alien overlord - fear me

It's the standard drug dealers sales tactics - give something away for free and once everyone is hooked, shaft them. If they'd increased ten fold, Joe Public still wants 4G to watch cat videos on YouTube whilst on mass transit so if any of the existing operators pulled out of even one frequency, they'd lose the majority of punters overnight.

I think the Monopolies Commish should investigate a blatent abuse of monopolistic powers by OfCom.

Google makes admen pay for fake YouTube views, claims research

Your alien overlord - fear me

Surely the video makers are supposed to get a cent per thousand dollars of ad revenue (because the big G is soooo generous) so maybe, just maybe, the video makers get a cent (literally).

Holy litigation, Batman! Custom Batmobile cars nixed by copyright

Your alien overlord - fear me

If Dinky (or whoever) started making little BatMobiles today, they would pay royalties. No one would argue that.

If I made a full size BatMobile for my own personal use, most people would agree that that's fine since I'm not making money from it.

If I started making full size BatMobiles and selling them, making money from someone else's design and work, most people would expect me to pay something to DC Comics (such as a license fee).

It's the same as if I started making replica Spitfires with the Merlin engine. Whoever holds the Supermarine patents and Messers Rolls and Royce would be knocking on my door. That's even older, more iconic and more distinctive but it is not exempt just because people don't build warplanes using wood and propellors nowadays.

Cyber peace deal still possible despite China's US cyber-spying denials

Your alien overlord - fear me

China's boss is in the USA, the Catholic's boss is in the USA. Is something going on here that us end-of-the-world doomsayers should know about?

Or is simply the leader of the world's largest population and the leader of the world's largest religion just happened to visit the same country at the same time?

Russian Tor network-wrecking effort takes bizarre turn

Your alien overlord - fear me

Surely they just need to follow US libraries - stick in their own Tor nodes. Eventually some stuff will trickle out. That'll be $59,000 please Mr Putin - you can pay me in Bitcoins (downvote if you don't spot the irony!!!!).

Revealed: Why Amazon, Netflix, Tinder, Airbnb and co plunged offline

Your alien overlord - fear me

I wonder what's going to happen to the beancounter who said "2 metadata servers? It'll cost too much, you can cope with just one" not realising that Sod's Law in a resilient scenario is pretty much guaranteed.

POLAR DINOSAURS prowled ARCTIC NIGHT, cast doubt on COLD BLOOD theory

Your alien overlord - fear me

Why don't dino-hunters consult geoloists before spouting rubbish? 65 mil years ago there wasn't even the Himalayas (they're about 35 mil years old which is why they, as the newest hills, are the tallest=no weather errosion). South and North American weren't joined (Donald Trump probably recalls those halcyon days) and Alaska was further south.

No Himalyas meant the winds could traverse the globe unimpeeded, no Panana meant the ocean currents could go around the earth unimpeeded. Everything was warmer until plate tectonics shoved what is now India into the bottom of Russia/China and North and South Americas joined up. This shifted weather and current patterns to the extent you see today. Cold bits top and bottom, hot in the middle.

Pope Francis' first act in America: Halt iPhone 6S, 6S Plus deliveries

Your alien overlord - fear me

More likely it gives UPS employees more time to shift through the packages and 'lose the packet en route' miraculously. It's a victimless crime apparently.

iOS 9 update set to bork 'hundreds of thousands of EU businesses'

Your alien overlord - fear me

Their accountant has told them, hey, your phone is now a business expense if you flush your profit down the drain with a 3rd party payment provider so go for it. Here's my bill and no, I prefer cash or a cheque and please pay me beofre you go bankrupt.

Today's Groupon offer to its sacked employees: 100% off your salary

Your alien overlord - fear me

How can they even have 10000 employees world wide? Website and email campaign uses what, half a dozen peeps per country.

Most are probably either art, media studies or marketting degree holders so no sympathy here for kids not getting a real qualification.

11 MILLION VW cars used Dieselgate cheatware – what the clutch, Volkswagen?

Your alien overlord - fear me

What's the betting

Martin takes early retirement once the fine has been announced/paid and the class action has been paid. No incoming CEO likes to find his seat covered in this kind of cr@p on day 1.