* Posts by Your alien overlord - fear me

1782 publicly visible posts • joined 19 Jun 2009

Dental app startup drama: Two attack websites and a lawsuit

Your alien overlord - fear me

Coming soon on Channel 5 - "Dentists, bastards the lot of them"

Trump to world: Forget moving to America to do a startup

Your alien overlord - fear me

How does it benefit YankeeDoodle land if some US investor gives me $1m for my startup and I have to do everything in the UK? I don't employ any Mexicans (other low wage minorities are available), I pay no state or federal tax, nuffink. And it shows the world that the US is technologically in the stone age when everyone else is leaping forward. Stupid idea by a stupid....

Just in time for summer boozing: Boffins smash world record for the most perfect ice cubes

Your alien overlord - fear me

And

I can make ice cubes in the shape of the Death Star - way cooler (!!!) and visible with the naked eye to boot !!!

GSM gateway ban U-turn casts doubt on 7.5-year prosecution in Blighty

Your alien overlord - fear me

He broke the law when it was illegal to run COMUGs. Just because it's legal now shouldn't change anything. If he'd been fined / jailed back then, would he get his money back today if he asked for it? Doubt it.

OMG, dad, you're so embarrassing! Are you P2P file sharing again?

Your alien overlord - fear me

Re: Who's of thunk it

So, when you become middle aged and start P2P, they'll have your profile right then? :-)

Talk about a hit and run: AA finally comes clean on security breakdown

Your alien overlord - fear me

Bit like the WPP story earlier this week - poor management decisions leading to outsourcing/using 3rd party IT companies.

Companies must really start to pull their corporate fingers out, put an IT director on the board with at least the same status/power as the beancounter director.

Web inventor Sir Tim sizes up handcuffs for his creation – and world has 2 weeks to appeal

Your alien overlord - fear me

Can't the foes of copyright just write their own stuff so when (say) a streamed movie is shown, the module that shows the actual movie gets intercepted and the data stream gets saved somewhere to be torrented for everyone else's benefit?

Jaw-boned: Wearables biz Jawbone shuts down

Your alien overlord - fear me

Is Apple the king of the hill solely because they'll flog a dead horse for longer than others that don't wear rose-tinted i-glasses (!!!)?

Largest advertising company in the world still wincing after NotPetya punch

Your alien overlord - fear me

WPP probably missed cut-off dates for adverts to be pushed (to magazines, newspapers etc) so their clients have lost out. Probably will look elsewhere for their next advertising partner.

Their big corporate clients will have clauses like IT security/best practices as part of any contract. Again, time to look elsewhere.

So WPP, to save a few pounds in the short term, will probably never recover financially from losing many lucrative corporate clients. This should be shown as a example of outsourcing to other businesses who think it's a good idea to get rid of their inhouse IT staff.

Boffins with frickin' laser beams chase universe's mysterious trihydrogen

Your alien overlord - fear me

Trying to re-create the stuff that caused the Universe to be made? Does someone have access to an emergency STOP button?

Tesla, GitHub, tech bro VCs... Silicon Valley sexism row explodes as more women go public

Your alien overlord - fear me

Re: Harry, you're a beast!

Power corrupts, absolute power.....

Microsoft boasted it had rebuilt Skype 'from the ground up'. Instead, it should have buried it

Your alien overlord - fear me

Is this update the reason my Windows 10 notification window keeps popping up (a few times a day) with Skype crap?

Extreme trainspotting on Britain's highest (and windiest) railway

Your alien overlord - fear me

In the Cairngorns and no mention of the wildlife park? Not every day is a skiday !!!

SpaceX halts Intelsat 35e launch twice in a row

Your alien overlord - fear me

Sounds like they need an even Bigger Bloody Rocket !!

Constant work makes the kilo walk the Planck

Your alien overlord - fear me

Re: Confused

but an IT kilo is 1024 so is a computer kilogram really 1024 grams?

One-third of Brit IT projects on track to fail

Your alien overlord - fear me

I used to be an IT project manager. Never had a failure to deliver. Why? Because you set everything up before hand (budget, people etc) and stay on top of things continually, not waiting for weekly/monthly meetings for someone to raise an issue.

However, in the same company, I've seen massive failures purely by putting the wrong IT PMs in charge of projects they have no idea about (internal politics, brown nosing for promotions etc) so before PMs start blaming others for project creep, budgets etc. they should look a themselves. Taking a course and becoming a PRINCE2 practitioner does not magically make anyone a project manager.

UK.gov tips £400m into digital investment pot

Your alien overlord - fear me

But what about Northern Ireland? Can't the DUP do something for them? Oh yes, they get a billllllion pounds.

China pollutes ocean with bloody big rocket

Your alien overlord - fear me

Returning with moon rocks - Chinese takeaway anyone?

Whoa, bad trip, man: Google workers' info exposed during travel-booking software hack

Your alien overlord - fear me

Google doesn't know which employees are affected but will be paying for 2 years of credit monitoring for all affected employees. Huh?

US Senators want Kaspersky shut out of military contracts

Your alien overlord - fear me

But what would Trump do if the military was nasty to his Russkie buddies? Fire the generals?

Inmarsat flings latest Wi-Fi-on-airliners satellite into orbit

Your alien overlord - fear me

Re: I wish Emirates Air flew in the US

I think there's a guy call Trump who wouldn't be in favour of that - Muslims and all that. Pretty certain if you get rid of him, they'd come over.

Talk about cutting-edge technology! Boffins fire world's sharpest laser

Your alien overlord - fear me

"approximately 200 trillion times per second" , "about 10 times the distance between the Earth and Moon."

What are you talking about? Please explain these values in proper el Reg speak.

Astroboffins dig into the weird backwards orbit of the Bee-Zed asteroid

Your alien overlord - fear me

I doubt Bee-Zed's orbit is keeping Jupiter's orbit in line.

NATO: 'Cyber' is a military domain

Your alien overlord - fear me

"land, sea, air and now cyber." What about space? Can I take down US satellites and not provoke the Europeans ?

Australian regulator will decide if Uber drivers are staff or contractors

Your alien overlord - fear me

On the one hand it's good Uber employs rapists and murderers, most companies wouldn't. On the other hand it's not good Uber employs rapists and murderers and lets them carry on doing their crimes.

Murderous Uber driver 'attacked passenger and the app biz did nothing. Then he raped me'

Your alien overlord - fear me

Why didn't the St Louis police do something when the bastard hit the first victim?

India's Martian MOM clocks up 1,000 days circling the red planet

Your alien overlord - fear me

Mars colour camera? Er, why not use a black and white one and colour it red. You know, since it's the red planet and well, it's red.

No way to sugarcoat this: I'm afraid Uranus opens and closes to accept particle streams

Your alien overlord - fear me

So we can see planets around stars hundreds of light years away and tell what their atmosphere is likely to be but we can't do it in our own back yard? Seems astro-boffins still have it in for our little planet.

Idea to encrypt stuff on the web at rest hits the IETF's Standard Track

Your alien overlord - fear me

Won't this annoy the Five Eyes?

US Copyright Office suggests 'right to repair' laws a good idea

Your alien overlord - fear me

I want to 'fix' my DVD of Suicide Squad (and others) and the movie companies have abandoned them. Am I Ok to do stuff to them ("offsite backups" etc. !!!!) ?

Tremble in fear, America, as Daesh-bags scrawl cyber-graffiti on .gov webpages no one visits

Your alien overlord - fear me

So the US is responsible for all the bloodshed caused by the IS wankers executing civilians in the Middle East?

Robocall spammers, you have one new voicemail message: Cut it out!

Your alien overlord - fear me

Why not just boycott the company providing whatever. They're the real scum, offloading the telephone calls to India so their hands are clean. If someone phones up offering you a credit card from XYZ, blab all over the internet about how scummy XYZ are. The only way to get their attention about how unethical their marketing dept. is, is through loss of sales or existing customers.

We'll drag Microsoft in front of Supremes over Irish email spat – DoJ

Your alien overlord - fear me

Pretty certain that if a US criminal, or suspected crim, owned a house in Ireland, the FBI couldn't just raid it looking for incriminating evidence. They need the permission of the Irish authorities. Same goes for magnetic zeros and ones.

Braking news: AA password reset email cockup crashes servers

Your alien overlord - fear me

but did they come and fix it within 30 minutes?

Games rights-holders tell ZX Spectrum reboot firm: Pay or we pull titles

Your alien overlord - fear me

Not speaking to el Reg? Have they employed an ex-Apple PR bod?

Deleted

Your alien overlord - fear me

6 million to redirect 400k of emails? I'll do it for £5 million.

UK Parliament hack: Really, a brute-force attack? Really?

Your alien overlord - fear me

Labour MPs passwords are labour or wannabe, Tory passwords are tory or brexit, Welsh MPs are aneurin

Not very hard to guess !!!!

Australian govt promises to push Five Eyes nations to break encryption

Your alien overlord - fear me

Good bye online ecommerce and e-banking. No real encryption will kill the economies of these countries. But arseholes have a very blinkered view of the world I find.

Blighty's first aircraft carrier in six years is set to take to the seas

Your alien overlord - fear me

Why not 'Rick roll' the Russkie subs listening in? Place big sub(!!) woofer speakers on the hull and blare out Rick Ashley 24/7 :-)

Researchers solve screen glare nightmare with 'moth-eye' antireflective film

Your alien overlord - fear me

Ideal application for car speedos and other instruments.

The good kind of data sharing: Reg empties its storage news warehouse

Your alien overlord - fear me

Quiet news day?

Men charged with theft of free newspapers

Your alien overlord - fear me

But they've deprived London commuters the free paper to put on the bottom of their bird cages.

Despite high-profile hires, Apple's TV plans are doomed

Your alien overlord - fear me

They've the cash, just buy up one of the successful streaming services and rebrand it as new and original :-)

Florida Man to be fined $1.25 per robocall... all 96 million of them

Your alien overlord - fear me

Re: Good luck with collecting that fine.

What's wrong with a mandatory death sentence?

BT problems impact Department for Work and Pensions services

Your alien overlord - fear me

It's just a friendly warning from BT not to break up their contract.

Ego stroking, effusive praise and promise of billions: White House tech meeting in full

Your alien overlord - fear me

Somewhere in there is the germ

Should have ended it at that.

Uber CEO Travis Kalanick has resigned, says report

Your alien overlord - fear me

I heard Theresa May asked him to become the Minister for Equality to distract the press from her !!!

Researchers take the piss with pee-powered liquid energy project

Your alien overlord - fear me

You're drunk, the mobile battery is low and you vaguely remember an article on el Reg about pissing to recharge your phone. Let's hope yours is waterproof :-)

Report estimates cost of disruption to GPS in UK would be £1bn per day

Your alien overlord - fear me

Re: Alternatively...

Just wind your window down and ask for directions :-)

When corporate signage goes BAD

Your alien overlord - fear me
Holmes

How do they do it?

It's a Cisco PR department trying to get free advertising from techie websites.

The large piece that fell should surely be on the floor. The stand-offs would have hit the angled piece and either caught it higher up or knocked it onto the floor.

I reckon a Lego mock-up should be done to test the physics (hence the icon).