Posts by Your alien overlord - fear me

How behind us are the Americans? We've had this issue for 10 years plus (and it's still on going).

So now, instead of posties swiping birthday money from cards, miscreants will steal your bank details when you pay bills or deposit money via the PO. Nice way to upscale theft.

XDA devs. will root it within a month. Kiss goodbye to security.

Support contracts are always more lucrative than hardware sales.

Remember, if you encrypt your customers data, it's an extra step to decrypt it when selling private data without consent to adware slingers.

Probably really looking for alien underwater bases. Cos like , you know, they're real and staffed by the Americans as well. Where's my roll of Bacofoil?

I think you'll find the beeetch is owned by the NSA and like any good doggy rolls over on command.

Something causing cancer doesn't always hit sales big time - look at ciggies, still going strong.

It's when you have to produce ID to buy a slice from behind the 'special counter' or are asked to sit outside when eating a bacon buttie. That's when life gets tough!!!

"numerically superior French army" - the only way the French army was superior !!!!!

Intentional for the God loving conspiracy theorists? The first pix is of God's left hand doing a thumbs up. Let's just *hope* it is an artists impression :-)

"in the company of 100 young women dressed up in Gothic Lolita lingerie." - and you use that picture on the top of the article?

On Saturday morning on the local radio station (via Sky news I think), there was a woman who claimed her bank account had been wiped out and left her overdrawn. Time for Dido to do something.

I bet the IETF knew back in 2005 the NSA had cracked 1024 bits. 10 years on, they are more than capable of cracking 2048 bits so stop faffing around and jump straight to 4096 bit encryption.

Don't worry about all that water, when it moves away from the sun, it'll turn to convienient ice cubes.

Well good for you for doing your strap line (biting the hand that feeds IT) - hopefully you mentioned that in your application.

Why is anyone wearing a watch under a spacesuit?

Do you pull off your glove to see the time?

Or has it got a really,really,really long strap?

Bullet points 3 & 4 - assist the Head of security & Act as expert in all matters.

Call me old skool but the Head of Security should already be fired since he/she obviously doesn't know security and is probably some 'man manager' type rather than a techie type. I don't know them, only saying from what I've observed.

The DDos was actually 4 million credit card details being uploaded to the cybercrims. Takes a while and some bandwidth - obviuously not that I did it or anything. Now if you don't mind, just going to pop down to the Silk Road...

Are the police called FALCON because they swoop down on their victims? Or am I confusing them with Batman?

So the tat baazar gives away Paypal and is now wide open to misuse. Coincidence?

Kick 8% of your employees out then to rub their faces in it, give the remaining staff stock options. OK, it's Twitter stock options but still a kick in nuts.I wonder which management course he took?

Make it a condition that any new service blocks all outgoing email until a minimum of 3 months service has been paid in full. That'll make it too costly for spammers to use the service. And do tis for all clouds, not just SoftLayer.

I'm just suprised that el Reg (known for it's fairness in attributing hacker groups to countries) hasn't said where Pawn Storm comes from. I mean, we can infer, but who has started wearing the trousers at el Reg Towers, Putin or the journos?

Jersey has just launched itself as a Bitcoin centre of excellence or some such rubbish. However everything is charged VAT/GST. Wonder how they're going to get along taxing everyone 5% per transaction when the rest of the world doesn't? On the plus side, no CGT (yet).

Nope, it means that crooks have discovered fanbois are rich and stupid. You never get them phoning up and asking to fix your Linux box because if you run LInux you're poor but clever (speaking for myself of course!!!).

Pointless PR stunt. Come on Anon., I know you can do better than take down a fishing unions website for an hour or two (as if many actually went there).

Come on, take out the banks that finance these fishermen or something worthwhile.

And el Reg, why can't I post under my name *and* use the Anonymous Coward icon?

Well, if she was such a slapper (per the Romans version of her life), she probably died from a STD rather than an ASP.

Hey, why not just use WiMax. Oh yeah...

It's just Snowden trying to deflect attention from himself.

Controversal solution - all US companies store ALL data (including US data) in the EU. Problem solved before said molehill becomes said mountain.

Obviously the NSA will force Congress to say no but if the US companies want to harvest our personal data....

But will China nix it for 2 years?

My theory (oh yes, sit down, get a nice cup of tea) - lots of stars formed early on because the Universe was nowhere near absolute zero. Now our planets global warming (and other planets, it's not just us) means we are sucking the warm from the Universe (it 's a physics thing, warmth has to come from somewhere). So, the Universe is cooling down, less stars are being formed because all that gas is getting sluggish. Simples.

Where do I go to get the Nobel prize for stating the bleedin' obvious?

Suprised Gala Bingo didn't buy it, they sponsor Tipping Point on ITV :-)

Experimental physics and theoretical physics - both done by people who can't be arsed to do real physics. Where are our hoverboards? You've had over 20 years to experiment and therorise.

Simple to define - if it houses a camera, it's a drone. Don't know of anyone using a drone without at least one GoPro on it. Smaller 'toys' don't really have the power or endurance to cope with flying anywhere dangerous to post on YouTube.

Come on guys, the Beeb is just encouraging the use of BBCTorrents, funded by the Brits. What you can't access BBCTorrents? Probably not in the UK then !!!!

Did the Nobel prize for physics goto YoYo too?

If they're offering 2 maintainence patches next year, does this mean they already know about gapping security holes but want to let the Indian security services access first?

"the absence of impact craters is evidence of the area's geographical youth, NASA notes."

However, on closer inspection Pluto is a planet. Er, I mean Pluto has been shot-gunned by a high altitude meteor burst.