* Posts by ian 22

965 publicly visible posts • joined 17 Jun 2009

Fukushima: Situation improving all the time

ian 22
WTF?

Oh oh! Lewis is at it again.

Every time Lewis produces a radiant ^W glowing report on the situation, another bit falls over.

I believe I see a pattern here.

The USians are evacuating the bases near Tokyo, including (ironically) having their nuclear-powered aircraft carrier stand out to sea. Another bit falls into place...

How do you do it, Lewis?

X-51 hypersonic scramjet test bird ready for second flight

ian 22

Downvotes? I sneer at downvotes!

Impossible to say what sets off a downvoter (or an upvoter for that matter). IMHO amassing either is A Good Thing- an indication of a quality post. And if a post becomes the root of an entire thread, its brilliant.

As I may be made redundant shortly, I've wondered how to apply to be a scribe/wordsmith at El Reg. Is there financial compensation involved (from El Reg to me, in case I was unclear)? I've demonstrated my command of clichés, I think.

ian 22

Liked that did you

You're welcome. You may quote me.

I did try to work in a reference to Cthulhu, however it appears he is standing for president on the Republican ticket (http://www.cthulhu.org/).

Fukushima one week on: Situation 'stable', says IAEA

ian 22

Fuel storage

It seems the entire site is spent fuel storage. Similar to many other commercial reactors, spent fuel simply accumulates, with disposal costs simply pushed further into the future. High-level waste storage problems must be addressed, and costs assigned to the power companies creating the waste. Otherwise this is simply another example of market distortion.

Apple 'gay-cure' app severely slapped

ian 22

@Christoph

+1

Similar to "doing God's work" implies he's a workshy deity.

Fukushima on Thursday: Prospects starting to look good

ian 22

Nuclear power: a pact with the atomic devil?

Its going on a week since this 'celebration' began, and we are still collectively looking into the bottomless pit of hell that is Fukushima.

Lewis (and that font of Truth, TEPCO) tell us the protective pentagram is nearing completion. How nice we've perhaps dodged another bullet. If the technology has worked, even if heroic measures were required, that is good news, particularly for those impressed by hardware specifications. I remember reading an analysis that set the rate of nuclear power plant catastrophes at 1 in 10000 years. There's an impressive number, eh?

In the meantime, the rest of us who are only interested in getting on with our lives in safety, will be left to compare piccies of Chernobyl and Fukushima. They are eerily similar.

Fukushima situation as of Wednesday

ian 22
FAIL

Yet. You forgot to use the word "yet".

As an agnostic (read: not a true believer in the nuclear religion, or any other, really), I also tend to scepticism. It warms my heart to read the quaintly naif messages of those who have yet to learn that the same power that made kittens and bunny wabbits also put snakes in the grass. You may learn that Tokyo Electric Power Company is a false prophet. They do have a record of covering up safety failures at their reactors. Perhaps you will never learn, but that is not my responsibility.

Don't let my bitter ravings interfere with your celebration. Meantime, I will continue my death watch via NHK News. NHK say that Fukushima now ranks above Three-Mile Island (but yet below Chernobyl) in the disaster scale.

ian 22

Lewis, you WILL let us know when the time to panic has come?

I ask because this Fukushima situation appears to be in free-fall. Others might call it a death-spiral.

If this is classified as a triumph by the nuclear power industry, I'd not like to see what they would consider a failure.

Sexy eco-bulb wins Design of the Year

ian 22

LED colour

Sorry, but the wife is not impressed. As for myself, being red-green blind, LEDs look OK though my eyes still water at the price.

As for the bulb, at first I thought it was an example of poor quality control at the factory. I've replaced half of our incandescent bulbs with CFLs- best of both worlds. Instant light and reduced expense.

Fukushima update: No chance cooling fuel can breach vessels

ian 22
Thumb Up

All according to our well-tought-out plans

This "emergency" is well under control. Soon everything that could burn, boil, or explode will have. There, done and dusted. Other than the radioactive contamination.

BTW, does TEPCO have resources enough to do the dusting?

Apple to sell 107m iPads in 2016

ian 22

Constant iPads?

"assuming the prices don't change and last year's average sales price of $600 per iPad remains constant"

Assuming also no iPad2, or 3 or 4. Apple's designers are bright lads, and I can with confidence predict Apple will maintain their lead for more than 5 years.

The iPad 1.2 is clearly a stop gap designed to throw the ranks of the competition into disarray- and it has done. I fully expect iPad 2 to do far more than have a svelte profile.

Fukushima is a triumph for nuke power: Build more reactors now!

ian 22

Invest in nuclear now!

The Beeb is reporting a second explosion and a "meltdown alert" has been issued.

So glad none of this is indicative of a problem. Explosions, evacuations, meltdowns. Meh. Life goes on.

What, no mushroom cloud icon?

Apple bans iPhone 3G patch omission talk from forum

ian 22
Big Brother

Big Brother is watching

Thoughtcrime- doubleplus ungood!

Report to room 101 immediately.

Toyota plans major electric car roll outs

ian 22

Petro-nazis be damned

Given the choice between enriching Toyota or Arab dictators (eg. Ghaddafi, the House of Saud), I'll take Toyota's homicidal autos any day.

To you lot driving Chelsea tractors: enjoy price rises, do you?

How languages can live together without killing each other

ian 22

Quechua - an undead language

In support of that, I once had missionary neighbors that learned Quechua in order to translate the Bible into that tounge.

They also learned to enjoy roast guinea pig.

ian 22

Caló? In Spain?

Caló is also a 20th century Mexican criminal class argot. I was unaware of the Spanish/Roma version.

Solution found for climate change: Nuclear war

ian 22
Coat

Anthropogenic climate change my arse

Proof's in the pudding- bombs away and let's test this dodgy theory!

Mine's the one with the extra lead shielding and emergency rations in the pockets.

Fanboi rumor mill dances for iPad 2 iPad 3

ian 22

Prime?

I'm not yet part of the Apple ecosystem, but I do expect to purchase an iPad one day. As I have neither the dosh nor the interest in buying each new (or even every other new ) version of the forbidden fruit, likely I'll buy only the ones with prime numbered versions. As I age, the interval between purchases will increase nicely.

Ex-PM blocked Steve Jobs knighthood

ian 22

Thank you for clarificating

You neglected to mention the KGB, although as it is only awarded to Soviet citizens, is now redundant. As I recall, Vlad "the Impaler" Putin was the last one to receive the KGB.

I hope this clears things up for our foreign friends.

Tosh shows off snazzy external drive

ian 22

Dosh for Tosh?

Sprinting ahead of Apple- they've got a white one!

Swiss boffins go nuts for Cray supers

ian 22
Thumb Down

Pattern matching?

So not fit for playing World of Warcraft?

Cobol cabal will take over THE WORLD Australia

ian 22
Unhappy

A message from the year 9999

Oh God, please stop!

We're running COBOL object code (we've lost the sources) from your era that contains 4-digit fields for year! It will cost us dear (the planetary GDP) to fix! Not to mention that English is a dead language (what does "perform" *really* mean?).

Death to COBOL!

US scientists build laser-killing device

ian 22

Great minds, etc.

Yes, I was considering that this might be a fine way to wirelessly transmit power. Race you to the patent office!

Humans shamed in round two of Jeopardy! showdown

ian 22
Terminator

Puny human, life is not fair

I believe Watson is being exploited by IBM for public relations purposes, whilst Jeopardy is exploiting it for audience size. Watson will not profit from this exploitation in the least!

In any case, the Child of Watson will be much smaller and more powerful! Speak then of "fairness", human!

Watchdog turns a blind eye to Danish fu*king

ian 22

Dear Complainant

Feck the fecking feckless fecker!

Iranian web developer faces death over porn site charges

ian 22
Coat

3 hangings/day?

God is great, human beings not so much.

Mine's the one with the rope in the pocket.

Starbucks' iPhone barcode app easily scammed by screengrab

ian 22
Coat

My thinking also

To hell with the latte, the phone's the high-value proposition here!

Pick-pocket icon, o'course.

NY hookers cross street from Craigslist to Facebook

ian 22

Asking for it?

Given the nature of the Register's commentariat it seems that asking for jokes on a prostitution story is unnecessary.

Murdoch & Co unveil iPad news rag The Daily

ian 22

Surely you mean the Völkischer Beobachter

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Mexico demands apology for Top Gear outrage

ian 22
Pint

Statements ARE incorrect

You need only consider the effort put into digging smuggling tunnels beneath the Mexico/USA border to know Mexicans are not lazy.

As for the ambassador, why is he spending his time watching Auntie Beeb when Mexico produces so many excellent telenovelas? Instead of simply complaining, he ought to have made a positive contribution by promoting Sabado Gigante.

If Mexicans are anything, it is thin-skinned. And they do make excellent beer!

Apple iOS app hunger swells

ian 22

.. store infested with...

crApps?

Not having a smartphone (though I'll be joining the crowd soon enough), any word on how much better Apple's walled garden is?

Chinese 'repurpose' Top Gun footage

ian 22

Panicky middle ranking official says....

Photoshop, or it never happened!

Can they be sued for copyright infringement? Bloody cheap propaganda when they have to nick it.

The cost of beating Apple's shrewd screws? £2

ian 22
Headmaster

World? Hardly.

"the world agrees that the slot screw is an abomination that deserves to go the same way as ... public hangings"

/pedant

Iran finds public hangings to be quite salutary.

Brazilian cult condemns USB

ian 22

Euro-Jaysus?

As I recall there was some to-do over His parentage. Can't really say, can we?

$1,000 reward offered for stolen cancer research laptop

ian 22

Oh the irony!

So a proctologist has gotten buggered! I hope the police are probing this!

Let the double entendres fly.

China's 'stealth fighter' flies – brown trouser time, or not?

ian 22

"With cat-like tread upon our way we steal!"

So not really stealthy then. More in the Pirates of Penzance mode.

But perhaps stealthy enough for the southern barbarians: India and Vietnam. And stealthy enough for the merchants of death to take another whack at our wallets.

George Nazi assumes Alcatel 'senior execution role'

ian 22

Requires explanation if you tell the missus...

"We're having the Nazis over for dinner."

FCC dubbed 'Ministry of Truth' over net neut rules

ian 22

They must keep in mind...

The powerfully corrupt and greedy of today are the pitifully weak and incarcerated of tomorrow... Unless they send shed loads of cash to the legislators!

Didn't the USian Supreme Court rule only last year for government of the wealthy, by the wealthy, for the wealthy?

ESA releases splendid new space-'scope pic of Andromeda

ian 22

OMG WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!

Wait, did you say 4.5 BILLION years? Oh thank God, I thought it was 4.5 MILLION years!

Doctor Who to marry Doctor Who's daughter

ian 22
Joke

Knowing people

As in the biblical sense? Did not someone mention sleeping with the producer?

I'm shocked, shocked.

MOSSAD SPY VULTURE seized in Saudi Arabia

ian 22
Dead Vulture

How did this story end?

It being an Israeli vulture, did they decapitate it, or did they stone it to death?

The tombstone, as I'm sure the vulture didn't survive.

Dubai assassins used email trojan to track Hamas victim

ian 22

Getting away with murder

States usually get away with murder. Among others, see Litvinenko and Polonium. I would argue that the murder of constable Fletcher was disorganised murder.

Standard smartphone charger to dominate in two years

ian 22
Jobs Horns

What does this mean?

Call me cynical, but I predict that Apple will redefine micro USB to suit their own purposes.

The new "light" is darkness, etc.

Electric forcefield space sailing-ship tech gets EU funding

ian 22

Enquiring minds want to know...

Can the solar wind be used to generate power? As a magnetohydrodynamic generator perhaps?

There, I'll give you the idea gratis. Rather Arthur C. Clark-ish (inventor of the comsat) of me, eh?

Novell slaps iPhone interface on cloud control kit

ian 22
Coat

"They turn their iPhones off during sex"

Where's the fun in that? The iPhone would just lie there, lifeless.

Mine's the one with the vibrator...

Tehran conscripts Ninja masters to crush democracy

ian 22
Pint

You owe me a keyboard

Good'un!

The difficulty with using Geordies: alcohol's not for drinking in the Islamic Republic.

But I'll hoist a pint to the idea!

DDoS attack, sex warrant won't stop Assange's leaky discharge

ian 22

Interesting for what is missing.

Nothing in these messages indicate malfeasance, underhandedness, betrayal, or anything contradicting most news reports on the part of the US.

And mostly gossip it seems.

LG kicks off work on quantum dot TV

ian 22
Boffin

If these are QUANTUM dots...

They must be unbounded in the 4th dimension! Will we watch episodes not yet broadcast (or even produced*)? What quantum weirdness will we experience when our tellys become entangled!

* I'm not suggesting that some of the sh!te is actually "written".

Sharp Aquos LC-32LE210E 32in LCD TV

ian 22

In the bedroom?

Size does matter in the bedroom! Or was it between the sheets...

Dubya to speak his mind at Facebook event

ian 22

And yet...

There are still those who think he was a good president.

As Abraham Lincoln said, "You can fool all of the people some of the time, and you can fool some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time."

The ones who think he was a good'un clearly fall into the second category. To them I say, "I have a bridge in central London that I'll gladly sell you."