* Posts by DJ 2

208 publicly visible posts • joined 12 Jun 2009

Page:

Welcome your robot overlairds, robots

DJ 2
Terminator

Robbie the Roomba, Zombie.

My Roomba, died after a year, he would trundle out then after 4 mins, tell me that his brushes needed cleaning.

I dismantled him two weeks ago, took out a huge amount of long hair from his gear box, and around the motor spindle and now he's back to trying to hump the guitar stand. and hiding under the sofa with a discarded sock. Happy times.

Sony brings Skype to Bravia HD TVs

DJ 2

PS3

Sony, Put Skype on PS3. ffs. they've been putting it on everything that is not useful, how about putting it on the one thing that would make sense?

PlayStation Network credit cards protected by encryption

DJ 2

PSN

I haven't received an email either. Is it restricted to US only?

US Army releases new vid of Judge Dredd computer smart-rifle

DJ 2
Joke

In 2025 the Australian Army takes delivery with special voice activated ammo.

[Voice: Command]

Explosive

Flechettes

Armor

Dildo

Smoke

Fire-quenching electric forcefield backpack invented

DJ 2
Pint

Glowing Bean Counters.

Halon + Electrical Field + Accountants.

Google wheels (another) Trojan App inside Microsoft Office

DJ 2
Alert

err.

Thats not what the germans say about it

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/02/22/germany_rejects_linux_in_favour_of_windows_xp/

Poynt for BlackBerry

DJ 2
Thumb Down

Not worth the install.

Poynt doesn't cut it in Europe, BTSideKick is much better.

Evil grain-speculating OVERLORDS will starve us ALL

DJ 2
Pint

Corn.

Is any grass based crop including Rice, wheat, maize, oats etc.

Only in American do they associate it with maize.

Beer in the English speaking world made from Corn.

In the American speaking world, warm cat's piss.

Three jailed for phone box thievery

DJ 2
Thumb Down

What exactly has it got to do with...

The UK Border Agency,

It's theft from a BT Phone box in Leicester. They don't have diplomatic immunity, and they are European union members. Therefore they should be treated the same way as anyone else from Europe or the UK.

Don’t Look Now hailed top Brit movie

DJ 2
Pint

Obviously he's in the wrong line of work,

Lesbian Vampire Killers was the pinicale of British film making.

Plot, Lesbian vampires, love story, and a huge C**K sword.

Epic.

Aussies demand Poms cough up first 'Australia' map

DJ 2
Joke

Give them a piece of paper and a pen

And let them draw thier own bloody map.

Matrix 4 and 5 in works, threatens Keanu

DJ 2
Joke

Matrix was an awesome movie,

http://xkcd.com/566/

Shame they never made any sequels.

Becks offloads Posh Porsche on eBay

DJ 2
Coat

It's matt black.

Who the hell would be stupid eno... oh right yeah THEY painted it black..

Doctor Who to marry Doctor Who's daughter

DJ 2

Explained with diagrams.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYlJH81dSiw

In-flight fight for stubborn iPhone-loving teen

DJ 2
Thumb Down

I used to work in a chemical factory

and all phones that were allowed on site had to be put in an oxygen chamber and called,

if the phone survived one call you could use it on site. Hospitals have lots of oxygen around, usually on tap, I've been attached to an oxygen feed before now and it's come loose.

Mobile phones can affect planes in two ways, the first and most important is the radio coms, the second and less important but still there is the GPS calibration that is done at certain airports.

As for the drop down masks, what do they use in that, pure O2 or some mixture?

The kid was endangering the crew and passengers, he should have been arrested when they landed.

Visa approves wireless payment chip

DJ 2
Unhappy

Micro SD Slot.

Is it still useable as a storage device. My BB Bold has a woefully small amount of onboard ram, I need the SD for Music, photos etc.

China-inspired charity aims to sex-down society

DJ 2

You've only

got to walk down the Itallian section of any major art museum and count the number of naked breasts exposed and divide it by the number of paintings.

Le Lourve in Paris, rates a 21.5 on the Puppies:Paintings ratio.

it's nothing new, except now idiots get to moan about it.

Get out the bar, your plane's leaving

DJ 2
Coat

if they can read that well,

Why not just read the rfid off of the passport, oh I forgot they are only supposed to be near field rfid's silly me.

LOST Vulture One PARIS spaceplane FOUND!!!

DJ 2
Pint

Small hole in the wing,

The PARIS space program will have to be grounded while the safety of the aircraft is assessed.

Well done now let's see you on the news.

Apple tinkering with subs-based iTunes service, says report

DJ 2
Pint

Apple tinkering with subs-based iTunes service

With all the talk over Britian's second Aircraft carrier, my imediate thought was; that is a novel way to get around the RIAA.

It's beertime

Microsoft: IE9 will never run on Windows XP

DJ 2
Thumb Down

Active desktop?

this must be proof positive that companies DON'T learn from thier mistakes.

Google squirrels into human brains with Scribe experiment

DJ 2
Pint

Not the works of shakespere

But an automated amanfrommars

NASA buys cutting-edge Cornish robot

DJ 2
Grenade

you should try asking for directions

Ooo Arrr now, Let me see.. .......

MS hits refresh on Windows 7 SP1 for select few

DJ 2
WTF?

Youtube BSOD would be nice.

I'm p'ed off with my 8 core 6gb memory machine having BSOD's every time a flash animation comes on screen.

Fix the Windows 7 64x reboot problems now.

you can google "youtube windows 7 bsod" but don't watch any of the youtube videos if you have windows 7.

British Airways sorry for 'landing on water' nonsense

DJ 2
Grenade

Remember the Hudson landing?

I met one of the investigators in a bar, 20+ pilots all tried simulated water landings. All pancaked the craft. It was a fluke of wind water and waves.

They should say.

"We will soon be crashing into the sea, please return to your seat an put on your life jacket so we can identify your remains."

Solar plasma aurora storm to hit Earth tomorrow today!

DJ 2
Coat

Earth's magnetic field.

What does this switch do..

"Earth's Magnetic Field Offline"

- Tinfoil hat and shades in the pocket.

Yellow alert over Windows shortcut flaw

DJ 2
Unhappy

Reminds me of an old AS400

About 12 years ago I had a call out from an IBM engineer to repair the companies AS400, he thoughtfully changed the Administrator password back to it's default setting.

A quick search came up with, qsysopr / qsysopr , when I tried logging in with all the other default passwords yep, they had never been changed and IBM's warrenty would be invalidated if I changed them.

Things never change they just get reinvented

A Rumba with a Roomba

DJ 2
Thumb Up

Left anything embarassing on the bedroom floor.

Robby really does like empty condom packets. he goes looking for them then takes them back to his charging station to display for your mom when she comes to visit.

I've only heard bad things about roomba's I'm perfectly happy with mine, it cleans under the bed!

Laser-toting robots take over UK hospital

DJ 2
Terminator

Desperatly seeking roomba.

when I get home at night, it's a 50 / 50 chance that the roomba is hiding under the sofa.

I can look under the sofa, when one of the robots decides for a bit of a sit down in it's own personal corridor are the other robots just going to get jammed in there?

Philippines declare war on cyberlingo

DJ 2
Pint

It's not a new thing and not restricted to da yoof.

+j3 +r4n$74+or 1$ n0+ 733+ 3n0U6j

Exactly, why do you need a transaltor, it's perfectly simple to read,

Quake wars how I miss you so.

4up !4w 01p 3u0nph 2b p3r p4r3n+s

Approaching space object 'artificial, not asteroid' says NASA

DJ 2

last passed us in 1975.

From the MPML group..

"It was given the asteroid designation 2010

KQ by the Minor Planet Center in Cambridge Massachusetts, who identified

its orbit as being very similar to that of the Earth. Orbit refinements

by JPL's Paul Chodas and amateur astronomer Bill Gray have shown that

this object was very close to the Earth in early 1975, but the

trajectory is not known with enough accuracy to associate the object

with any particular launch"

Facebook forces users to expose or remove connections

DJ 2
FAIL

Old news

This happend a few weeks ago, everything was converted and you were presented a page to choose the links.

My profile now has no information about me at all.

Wave gravy splashes onto Google Apps

DJ 2
Thumb Down

Even after all this time..

Problems with wave

1. The integration with Gmail isn't done to have any sort of email integration you need to add wave-email@appspot.com as a participant to every wave.

2. Blackberry / Iphone apps are missing for this to work this is essential.

3. Nobody uses it more than to play multi-player Suduko.

DJ.

Bill Gates chucks cash at climate cooling cloud creator

DJ 2
WTF?

Wouldn't that cause more problems

It's sea water, with salt in it, and they fire that up into the atmosphere, won't the salty clouds rain down and contaminate coastal regions?

iPad, iPhone driving 'renaissance' in nuclear reactors

DJ 2
Joke

Taliban doing commercial reactor software?

It seems you also need another piece of software called AGENT (Arbitrary Geometry Neutron Transport), which isn't at the moment commercially available. ®

*Apart from the Taliban ones, that is.

Boffins snare swollen 'excited giant' in forcefield prison

DJ 2
Paris Hilton

In the murky field of atoms and subatomic particles,

Scientists get creative, Quarks have flavors.

Qubits have Colours?

switch(qubit1)

{

case "1":

return true;

case "0":

return false;

case "1&0":

return maybe;

case "fuscia":

return livingRoom;

case parishiltonsunderwear:

throw new GarmentNotKnownException();

default:

return "42";

}

}

Google Latitude not dead despite Buzz

DJ 2
Thumb Down

I'm a lattitude user

and only two of my friends use lattitude as well, unless you are looking at the map (blackberry) the location is cell tower only +- 500m for finding where your friends are at the picnic is it's great, both look at the screen and it's within meters to find the location.

The moment that any enterprise uses my location for targeting spam / fraud detection, will be the day I turn it off. It's a social tool not a means to stop corruption / add targeting.

Wayward 'zombiesat' poses risk to other satellites

DJ 2
Grenade

It's a GPS satalite too.

http://www.n2yo.com/satellite/?s=28884

Fun times for when the only visible satalite for your gps reciever is out of place.

MS and Oracle's big dev tools - who needs 'em?

DJ 2
Joke

was this article inspired by

clicking the random button on http://xkcd.com/378/ ?

Google Buzz - Gmail mod for the Tweetbook set

DJ 2
Stop

There's a stop buzz link at the bottom of gmail

took me only 5 seconds to see that my Following / Followers included an ex-girlfriend that was still in my address book for me to delete the whole bloody thing.

Mini-asteroid sneaks up on Earth

DJ 2
Badgers

So has anyone calculated the new orbit?

Comming that close to earth has got to have changed it's orbit by a mesurable factor?

TfL deploys privacy-busting voyeurcam

DJ 2
FAIL

Un zoom so that you can see the channel iles

That's a strange place to put a street camera, about 20 miles north of the channel iles, seems there is lots of traffic though!

Pentagon world-sim tool making good progress, say profs

DJ 2
Grenade

The simulation played for 5 days

estimated all the best possible outcomes and came up with one result that would bring victory.

On the 11th of April 2011, Skynet launches nuclear weapons at russia.......

Boffins try to get closer to hot bodies

DJ 2
Joke

Really?

"Boffins try to get closer to hot bodies"

They've been trying that for years, not worked yet.

Spanish region teaches kids how to crack one off

DJ 2
Thumb Down

Really?

He insisted that if teens "don't how to masturbate or whether they should masturbate or not, that's a personal matter for the young person, which should be dealt with at home"

"Mom, it's gone all hard again what should I do?" I hardly think that anybody has asked that question ever.

Whitehall plans 'White Noise' phone network collapse

DJ 2
Megaphone

In the event of the goverment loosing communications

We can go on living our lives without them interfering all the time.

iPhone saves woman from bear

DJ 2
Thumb Down

Throw my hugely overpriced status symbol

or perhaps a rock, or a stick?

Aerial laser gunboat 'burns hole in fender' of moving car

DJ 2
Grenade

So.

We can offer you 6 shots 20 miles off against a stationary car and scorche the paintwork off, the owner will be pretty miffed.

or we can drop a GPS bomb from 2 miles up that leaves a pretty big crater.

If it's supposed to be covert, exactly how many countries can do the paint burning job, and how many can do the GPS/Laser bomb type thing?

DJ

Handgrenade, because it's more deadly than this waste of cash.

Facebook turns users into web translation engine

DJ 2
Joke

I remember in the French Facebook

the phrase "dans ton cul" apearing in a menu somewhere, which is a french cultural reply to any question of the sort "Where should I put this?" "In your arse"

DJ

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