* Posts by N2

1712 publicly visible posts • joined 12 Jun 2009

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

N2

Re: Bob

Bob360 ?

There's a black hole lurking within 1,000 light years of Earth – and you can see stars circling it with the naked eye

N2

Thats so last millenium

Surely what we see now was 1000 years ago ?

Perhaps its disappeared into own void now

Britain has no idea how close it came to ATMs flooding the streets with free money thanks to some crap code, 1970s style

N2
Pint

8 hole paper tape

...as all proper software should be

Pint as it brought back fond memories

ICANN finally halts $1.1bn sale of .org registry, says it's 'the right thing to do' after months of controversy

N2
Paris Hilton

Look at me

Oooh, I'm so big and masterful...

Er, isn't that your job Popeye? thats what you were supposed to do from the onset of this charade, no need to brag.

Paris, because anyone else would have acted right away.

Florida man might just stick it to HP for injecting sneaky DRM update into his printers that rejected non-HP ink

N2
Trollface

Re: It shouldn't be left to individuals

That involves the EU 'doing something useful' so I won't hold my breath

GCC 10 gets security bug trap. And look what just fell into it: OpenSSL and a prod-of-death flaw in servers and apps

N2

Re: El Reg (or the readership) really has changed

Otherwise known as El Regizeera

There are always two sides to every story – except this one, which is just a big billboard borked in all directions

N2

Re: BSOD have almost exclusively caused by hardware faults since Windows 7.

Think it's long before W7 for hardware faults, NT4.0 sprngs to mind.

French pensioner ejected from fighter jet after accidentally grabbing bang seat* handle

N2

perhaps

It was just before mid-day when all French men enjoy an apero before lunch

sacre bleu, je suis en retard...

or something like that

Watch out, everyone, here come the Coronavirus Cops, enjoying their little slice of power way too much

N2

Re: Wear face protection?

Get orrf my laaand... I'll 'ave the law on eee.

Farmer Palmer by any chance?

Four new bugs? You shouldn't have: Microsoft celebrates 45 years with dollop of borkage on Windows Insider Fast Ring

N2
Trollface

Re: Cake

like a Christmas pudding, contains a surprise* inside - * Not a silver sixpence...

Turd? They always come rolling back up the beach, just like the same old shit MS continues to pedal

Amazon says it fired a guy for breaking pandemic rules. Same guy who organized a staff protest over a lack of coronavirus protection

N2

Re: Wow!

donate zillions of dollars...

Thats tax deductable which is far more important to him than the health of his workforce, lets face it if a worker sadly dies, another will soon take their place.

Official: Office 365 Personal, Home axed next month... and replaced by Microsoft 365 cloud subscriptions

N2

Twats

Wasn't it just a few years ago they were dumping on home office promoting the subscription version was allegedly 'better' but more or less the same thing?

Thankfully, I'm well out of their ransomware but I do hope their next shit is a hedgehog.

European electric vehicle sales surged in Q4 2019 but only accounted for wafer-thin slice of total car purchases

N2

Re: Range & Time for a FULL charge

And make body panels out fo solar cells.

You can't hold black horse down: Brit bank Lloyds goes full multi-cloud, signs up with Google as well as Microsoft

N2
Devil

No no and no

That is all

Download this update from mybrowser.microsoft.com. Oh, sorry, that was malware on a hijacked sub-domain. Oops

N2
Trollface

Yes

The microsoft.com bit would instantly raise the alarm

OK, which Dombås stuffed Windows 10 to bursting at Swedish flatpack flinger?

N2

Fire exit?

N2

Re: "Relationship-ending"

You actually need instructions?

Meet Clippy 9000: Microsoft brags about building Earth's largest AI language model, refuses to let it out of the lab

N2
Mushroom

Hello

It looks like you are writing a letter...

With a MacBook Air?

BOFH: Darn Windows 7. It's totally why we need a £1k graphics card for a business computer

N2

Re: "And given that the Y2K thing was a big fat zero,"

Agreed,

The testing was one thing but alongside that ran 'the other project' to silently update critical infrastructure that had been ignored.

Google Chrome will check for leaked credentials every time you sign in anywhere

N2

Re: Is this *another* attempt to smother me in Gmail shit ?

Agreed,

They can bash it where the sun don't shine.

Microsoft Teams starts February with a good, old-fashioned TITSUP*

N2

OK

Lets team up and fix this...

Lets not, just sort your own shit out cupcake

Brave, Google, Microsoft, Mozilla gather together to talk web privacy... and why we all shouldn't get too much of it

N2

And

pi-hole DNS

Google, Microsoft, Facebook etc and all their shyte domains to room 127

Beware the Friday afternoon 'Could you just..?' from the muppet who wants to come between you and your beer

N2
Mushroom

I used to say Yes!

Yes, I can fix that, looking at a dust filled pile o' shyte.

I'll give it the once and for all fix of 'The Landrover Treatment'

Oh, whats that then...

I put it behind the rear wheel of the Landie and reverse over it. Seems to fix everything.

Never get asked again.

WindiLeaks: 250 million Microsoft customer support records dating back to 2005 exposed to open internet

N2
Trollface

Support calls?

You need to re-install... x250million

If you never thought you'd hear a Microsoftie tell you to stop using Internet Explorer, lap it up: 'I beg you, let it retire to great bitbucket in the sky'

N2

Microsoft

Never was a web browser company and to take over twenty years to get rid of this shows.

Remember that Sonos speaker you bought a few years back that works perfectly? It's about to be screwed for... reasons

N2

Re: Why indeed...

Yes, very good design the LS3/5As. I have a pair of the original Kanns and they sing very nicely too.

South American nations open fire on ICANN for 'illegal and unjust' sale of .amazon to zillionaire Jeff Bezos

N2

Re: TLDs - I am confused

The answer in this case seems to be "To make more money for ICANN"

Correct and also provide lots of shitty domain extensions for spammers: .bid, .icu, etc

Sinkhole the lot of them.

EU declares it'll Make USB-C Great Again™. You hear that, Apple?

N2

Zut alors

Is this something sensible from our EU overlords?

Its been a long wait if it is!

Totally Subcontracted Business: TSB to outsource entire IT estate to IBM for a cool $1bn after 2019 meltdown

N2

Re: New TSB slogan

Seems more like outsourcing here is so they can blame some one else for the dung heap.

And yes, the customer always suffers, share dividends and six figure pension pots are much higher up the list!

Step away from that Windows 7 machine, order UK cyber-cops: It's not safe for managing your cash digitally

N2

Re: F.U.D.

Agreed, they can always strengthen their browser with NoScript, AdBlock et all.

Smart speaker maker Sonos takes heat for deliberately bricking older kit with 'Trade Up' plan

N2

Re: Unacceptable

maybe the CEO spends a minute in jail for each device bricked

A month more like it

N2
Mushroom

Re: "my CD player and turntable are still going after more than 30 years."

Bricking As A Service To All Retarded Designs

Baastard?

Senior health tech pros warn NHS England: Be transparent with mass database trawl or face public backlash

N2

Trust

I wouldn't trust this lot with anything.

Two missing digits? How about two missing employees in today's story of Y2K

N2

Re: There's notthing so enjoyable as rightful smugness

Ex-Spurts in this case!

El Reg presents: Your one-step guide on where not to store electronic mail

N2

Lookout

There was one hapless user whose insistence on using Outlook depite it being contrary to company policy. You know its going to end in tears...

To cut a long story short, they decided to use the 'Outlook inbox repair tool' at least thats what Microsoft called it, to fix a problem.

Running the tool did precious little to resolve things, however it did manage to strip all the attachments that had been emailed to said user which they had saved from the mailbox to a server share.

Thankfully, I restored these from backup, but how anyone could program such mallevolence under the auspices of 'repair tool' is beyond me.

The next day the offending garbage was replaced.

The time PC Tools spared an aerospace techie the blushes

N2

Re: Gateway pc

Hmm, I remember them, a strong contender for the gold standard of utter crap

British bloke accused of extorting victims for 'Dark Overlord' hacker crew finally gets his free trip* to America

N2

He's going to prison, one down thousands to go

Just what do you think this site is for?

Apple's latest keyboard travels back in time to when they weren't crap

N2
Pint

Re: Post Jony Ive, maybe Apple products can work again

Sir, one humble upvote is not enough, see >>>

iFixit surgeons dissect Apple's pricey Mac Pro: Industry standard sockets? Repair diagrams? Who are you and what have you done to Apple?

N2
Thumb Up

Excellent

Wonder if Apple will continue this new mantra with its next crop?

Canada's .ca supremo in hot water after cyber-smut stash allegedly found on his work Mac ‒ and three IT bods fired

N2

Re: Do you think

Agreed,

HR exist to protect senior management from their own stupidity.

100 mysterious blinking lights in the night sky could be evidence of alien life... or something weird, say boffins

N2

blinking out of existence

Revealed: NHS England bosses meet with tech and pharmaceutical giants to discuss price list of millions of Brits' medical data

N2

Re: Dido Harding...

These people are just like turds.

No matter how utterly shyte they are at their job, they always come rolling back up the beach to another unsuitable posting.

Six figure pension pot in hand.

And then there were two: HMS Prince of Wales joins Royal Navy

N2

I wonder

How many of you armchair Admirals have actually served in the Royal Navy?

Elon Musk gets thumbs up from jury for use of 'pedo guy' in cave diver defamation lawsuit

N2

Re: Surprised

All to do with the $190 Million,

Had he asked for $500K it might have been different.

N2

Re: Pedo-guy?

...sinister and creepy.

+1 from me

I'll give you my Windows 7 installation when you pry it from my cold, dead hands (and other tales)

N2

Re: No way am I replacing W7

Yes, very good OS WinXP, still in use daily, UT2003 & for an old version of Access now and again.

N2

Re: Refined OS or chocolate teapot?

I initially thought you referring to W10 which will never be fit for purpose.

W7 over W10 anyday.

Internet Society CEO: Most people don't care about the .org sell-off – and nothing short of a court order will stop it

N2
Trollface

Re: Depressing, ...

Engage brain and think

Clearly you omitted those steps.

Microsoft takes us to 2004 with new Windows 10 so you don't mistake it for Server 2003

N2

Re: Server 2003

3.11 was the best for Netware