1143 posts • joined 12 Jun 2009
£100 M funding
How the tils at 'The Ivy' will be ringing & yes, thats just enough to cover expenses, not the real cost of the potential Crapita MOAFU's to follow
(Mother Of All Fuck Ups)
Re: Mac sales declined nine per cent over the quarter
That silly tube like MacPro thing
Batteries that cannot easily be replaced
Anything else that easily cannot be replaced
shit keyboards that don't last
fixing stupid problems that dont need fixing in the vain cause of 'innovation'
To name a few
The Crapita winning formulae...
Bid really low
Deliver crap, usually late
Explain that it will take more time & money to fix
client is so deep in it, they agree
repeat above two steps as required
Re: Whats wrong with
Seems good, just needs clippy to animate it:
Hello would you like me to fuck-up your PC?
Just when you're really very busy and doing summit important
Next time you are away from the office
At the time of:
The last two will be greyed out
Re: Predictive Fuckups
It used to be fine, you could choose from:
Turn em off
Pick what you needed
Just what was wrong with that?
Re: Burn down the high st
Think the councils with thier ever increasing rates & over zealous parking wardens have done a fine job.
The further I keep Microsoft from my 'lifestyle' what ever that is, the better.
I have a smart watch
I paid £330 for it and some 25 years later I could sell it for £500
Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer
Once asked me, whats that you are doing in MS-Dos?
Me: Oh, I'm just mapping network some drives, then I will add it to users the logon script
MCSE: oooh, how do you do that then?
I'd walk out after 45 minutes, if you can't get it by then theres no point.
& power point should be limited to 12 slides, after that I'm asleep.
Your hovercraft is full of eels...
Instead of directions to the station, it stated: 'please fondle my bum'
The joys of self service stations, at least most of them here in France speak the language of the credit cards issuing country.
Updated hosts file with about 30,000 advertising shyte host names resolved to 127.0.0.1
Then theres AdBlock Ultimate with a few of my own scripts or filters, whatever
Then theres NoScript
Been a while since Ive seen an advert on-line and I'm not missing them at all.
why not ban
.bid, .date, .shite, .tools, .etc .as .some .fucking .wassock .gave .these .away .to .all .the .fekking .spammers
Re: Please keep it open
...and don't send data home without permission.
Agreed, but don't you have to agree that everything belongs to Google?
Re: I'm one of those 5M
Also, they send out letters demanding action "within 7 days of the date of this letter", and you don't actually receive them until the 7th day.
I must admit of all the nipple tweaking, cunt twanging practises big business & arse hat organisations like these have adopted over a number of years, this is one of the worst.
Along with those "here to help" slogans.
Re: The ONLY things going for it were
Yes, I ran 2K well to 2010 most of the other versions were bloated, power sapping, gilded turds.
I suppose 7 was OK, but my 2K box was so reliable, loved it warts 'n all.
Who needs a code?
Any battery powered angle grinder would do.
Re: FS@*! Windows
Just tell them to place their laptop in front their car wheel before they drive off.
They soon stop pestering.
Re: Come back Clippy
It's years since I've used Microsoft Office and some how this is now amusing,
Yes, it really is that long!
Will probably tout it as a new feature...
Does that include
Ransomware to me.
Re: Lose the trust of developers for a generation?
I think as parents and grand-parents we have a duty to educate the next generation.
I don't trust Microsoft
with anything & I never will
Niether do my wife, our son & daughter
and we will make sure our grandchilren don't trust them either.
There is no one who feels more for TSB share holders than me.
Customers? - they're a fucking inconvenience.
It was my mistake, and I’m sorry.
Throw away, meaningless words if not backed up by correct actions.
I've not trusted any of this sort since the Internet began and its a policy thats paid off.
Re: So glad I'm not affected
You are if you use Websites that have Google or Facebook scripts.
So you browse the web without NoScript or a decent hosts file to edit such garbage out?
Re: What worries me....
"do we have any anti-missile-missile missiles?"
Actually this is something us Brits can do some flag-waving over -
And Avenger shot down an Excocet with its Mk 8 gun, they missed the second which was engaed by ships staff with small arms as it flew past.
So now fixing a previous fuckup counts as good news for Windows 10!? Bit like the captain saying the plane is crashing but the good news is we'll be landing early...
Diddn't Microsoft state their O/S was never intended for internet use?
Capita high standards?
Ye Gods, what are they smoking?
High standards of complete cock ups, over budgets, late deliveries.
Re: "You can call me a dreamer..."
Why not just block Fb until he turns up?
I don't trust Microsoft with Security
Never have & never will.
Thankfully, I retired from this nonsense a few years ago & I must say, it's great to be a spectator.
So when can you get in the first self-driving car? GM says 2019. Mobileye says 2021. Waymo says 2018 – yes, this year
Live crash test dummies
Here is your opportunity!
Re: Oh this will be fun....
Like BMW ...
Microsoft actually fixed something? Amazing & quite quick for them...
Have done some really shit things on Cooks watch,
He needs to go & perhaps things might improve.
Defrost the chicken
We had to tell the Americans who destroyed several engines.
Anything that shrinks their customer base must be a good thing, well done for yet another hole in the foot which must both resemble a culinder by now.
Whereas shooting each other is probably absolutely fine.
Wankers of the very highest order.
Surprised anyone uses BT after their price hikes.
Re: Oh dear
You are taking the piss, aren't you?
Surprise UK raid of Cambridge Analytica delayed: Nobody expects the British information commissioner!
Nobody expects the British inquistition led by Cardinal Fang...
Our main elements are: fear, suprise and a fanatical devotion to the Pope...
Apart from the fact Cardinal fang dosnt have any teeth, never mind give it a week or two and everyone will have forgotten about it.
Re: Happy to be living near Germany
Happily living in France, where 'beer' is almost free until you buy it in a bar and most of the wine is rather good.
Surprised El Regizeera had to do a poll at all, or do you need consent to read the relevant user agent?
Windows creators fuck up will...
1. Take at least 30 minutes to install
2. Feature 'improvements' of little if any real use.
3. Open the doors to everyone nearby.
4. Forces you to use their cruftware browser.
5. Better to keep tight lipped on this one.
News ways to make familliar fuck ups, where do I sign?
Anything else would be malware
Noting like a malicious aplication forcing choices on you?
Fuck wits of the very highest order.
The gold standard for cock-ups, usually on a biblical scale.
Re: I need new glasses
Average lion climaxes?
Snake oil, snake oil
Come & get it, £2000 a bottle