* Posts by The Original Ash

617 publicly visible posts • joined 11 Jun 2009

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Kidnap fears kybosh charity car rally

The Original Ash
FAIL

Cost less than £100, pay £20 in preperation?!

I paid more than that for my walking boots!

Seriously, though, if we start cancelling events like this because of the terr'rists, then they've won. They've made their point, and they've disrupted our lives to do it.

Steel-woven wallet pledges to keep RFID credit cards safe

The Original Ash
Thumb Down

Old, old, OLD.

ThinkGeek has had RFID blocking wallets (and Duct Tape wallets, for that matter) for YEARS. It's considerably cheaper too, even with import duties. The also have one for your passport.

This was news in 2004.

Durham police demonstrate DNA will stuff you

The Original Ash

I don't need a title. This is a reply!

They arrest you prior to forming a case, to collect evidence, and to test the substance to make sure it's not controlled. Kind of like saying "No officer, this is some self-raising flour for my mum to make a sponge." and them arresting you *on suspicion* of possession of a controlled substance.

It's a common misconception that having a criminal record / soft information on a CRB check will stop you getting a job which requires you to have one. It's down to the employer.

Google and MS sued over links to file-sharing site

The Original Ash
FAIL

No need to invade

They can buy them off and slip in people influential to the ruling who have a vested interest in a verdict against the defendant (TPB trial anyone?)

Understanding how the law works in big business fail.

Bada smartphone to debut H1 2010

The Original Ash
Troll

Eyyyy!

That's-a Bada name for an operating system, ey?

TODAI'S DE DAI!11

Bonuses all round for failing Border Agency

The Original Ash

Three types of people in the world

Those who can count, and those who can't.

More on topic: WOOOO GO GOVERNMENT SPENDING! >-(

Samsung P2370HD TV-monitor

The Original Ash

I never understoof HD on PCs

I've had a 1920x1200 24" monitor for around a year and it cost significantly less than a 1080p HDTV. No HDMI input but then again... It's got an extra 120 vertical lines. Why would I drop the resolution?

Spook firm readies Virgin Media filesharing probes

The Original Ash

Non DPI ISPs

I recommend UKFSN or Andrews and Arnold. I'm with the latter.

I'd gladly stick with them if BT implemented DPI with AAISP being unable to opt out; I'd just get myself a VPN.

Germans devise attacks on Windows BitLocker

The Original Ash
Black Helicopters

Oh my god!

My password is ******* too! How did he know?!

Norwegians plan to harpoon Twitter

The Original Ash
Coat

You can monitor their progress...

.. by subscribing to their Twitter feed.

Footie fans flock to clock 'Miss of the Century'

The Original Ash

That last one...

How can it not be Southgate missing the winning penalty in a World Cup match?

Twice?

(I agree with fifi; Football is the sport of gentlemen, played by animals.)

Gov confirms plans for Sky box in charge of your house

The Original Ash
FAIL

I for one...

Welcome my BSkyB, utility-controlling overlords!

What, you didn't actually mean "Sky box" in the headline? Shame on you.

LHC knocked out by ANOTHER power failure

The Original Ash
Joke

If Ghostbusters taught me anything...

It's that you shouldn't cross the streams. Ever!

I would have thought these techno-boffs would know that.

UK mulls extension of McKinnon judicial review period

The Original Ash

Keep it going for another two years

That way he'll have spent 10 years fearful of being thrown into a cell with a burly trucker named Jim, and can have his sentence reduced by that time.

I recommend a 7 year jail cell... So they owe him a year of his life back so far.

EA exec punts 96,000rpm e-car engine

The Original Ash
Pint

A lot like The Matrix

"Combined with a form of fusion, they'd found all the power they'd need."

With 80 mile range on the batteries, and 420 on the turbine, what's the point of the battery? Remove batteries, improve efficiency of the system to compensate for reduced weight, and bring to market. If electric motors are more economical than the regular combustion engine and mechanical transmission of energy, then this is a winner.

The batteries are probably only there so they can hop on the green bandwagon; Good for publicity, but ultimately pointless.

Either way, a turbine powered car would be awesome.

NHS hurls iPhone into booze abuse fray

The Original Ash
WTF?

Culpability?

"But officer, the law says 3 units and that's what the application said! What do you mean it depends on body mass... You saying i'm fat? I'M SUING FOR EMOTIONAL DISTRESS!"

Snoop Dogg pimps self out on TomTom

The Original Ash
Coat

Ozzy version?

Surely it'll say "Ahead, turn left. Watch out for that tree!"

Sorry. I <3 Ozzy.

Border agency to start fingerprint checks

The Original Ash
Grenade

I want to be on that list

'...2,445 people in Greater Manchester have "expressed an interest in continuing to be updated about the National Identity Service via the Early Interest Website"'

Yeah. They, like myself, want to know WHEN IT HAS BEEN SCRAPPED.

'Alienated' gamer sues WoW for ruining life

The Original Ash
Paris Hilton

Idnuraag?

Gaarniud

Udrianag

Augirdan

Raudigan

Digauran

Irdugana

Arduagin

Naridaug

Do I win the prize? Haris Pilton's Gigantique bag will suffice.

McKinnon family 'devastated' by Home Sec's latest knock-back

The Original Ash

Inaccurate

GCHQ is our version of the NSA. Gary McKinnon gained access to NASA and US Military systems, nothing to do with Intelligence services.

The Original Ash
Thumb Down

Votes

Mine goes to whichever party changes the treaty.

Gov net disconnections could breach EU law

The Original Ash
FAIL

New law poorly worded and potentially illegal!

In other news, water is wet, fire is hot, and the Home Secretary is a useless shill.

Virgin Media to trial filesharing monitoring system

The Original Ash
Thumb Down

The title.

You'll regret those words when they disconnect your service because:

- You're behind on payments on your credit card (online banking)

- You're looking up information on cancer medication, using your name to sign up (risk of bad debt)

- You have a bad customer experience with their Tech Support department, post about it on a forum, and have your service terminated with a demand for the full amount, or a court summons for libel.

- Your daughter received a phone call from an employee as they saw her picture on Facebook after monitoring your bitstream for the credentials.

Not saying these happen, or will happen, just hypothetical situations.

"Nothing to hide" is a fallacy. Nothing *illegal* to hide is more accurate, but everyone has secrets and personal information you don't want looked at.

The Original Ash
FAIL

Horse has bolted

The Pirate Bay has switched to Distributed Hash Tables for its trackers, BitTorrent clients are beginning to enable encrypted streams by default, and more people are learning about darknets / Tor.

You're squeezing a water balloon, Mandelson; The only thing keeping everyone in one place is convenience. Squeeze too hard and the balloon will burst. File sharers will obscure and secure, and you'll be left holding the flaccid remnants and a giant clean-up bill.

Give up. Tell the music industry to adapt its business model, or fail. They are relics of a time of scarcity and limited resources. Distribution is no longer in their control, and shouldn't be their business.

I don't download unlicensed music, as I already own all of the music I like. That is the worst place for you to be, in my opinion. Improve your products so I *want* to pirate your music, and make it easy for me to buy it so I'll do that instead. Or...

[See tag]

RIPA III: A legislative turkey comes home to roost

The Original Ash

The title

Nope, all they have to prove is there is the possibility of something being hidden from them. It's possible that you have a hidden volume hiding the kiddy / bomb files, therefore you'd best show them that they're not there. By having a hidden volume with... More of your g/f in it!

Only way to be sure.

The Original Ash
FAIL

Not going to work.

Truecrypt provides no way to prove there *isn't* a hidden volume. Conversation goes thusly:

PC Plod: "Give us the key."

Perp: "Here you go."

PC Plod: "Ok, thanks. Nice girlfriend you have. Now, the key for the hidden volume."

Perp: "There isn't one."

PC Plod: "Key for the hidden volume or RIPA S.3 violation."

Perp: "There isn't one!"

PC Plod: "Move directly to jail."

Police Intelligence may be a thing of the past

The Original Ash
Joke

Police Intelligence

Microsoft Works.

Fanbois Apple buyers howl over crocked iMacs

The Original Ash

@Tony 9 (First post)

The trouble, Tony, is that Apple have *only* quality going for them. Microsoft has marketshare, Linux has servers and nerds who like to tinker, and Apple has remarkable build quality, aesthetics and stability out of the box. When those things are not delivered, it's a *huge* blow to the Apple customer, just like if Microsoft said "We're making our own internet, IE won't work with regular web anymore" and if the Linux community said "We're taking away conf files in favour of a Windows Registry-style central settings repository."

It's akin to Rolls Royce shipping Phantom Drophead's with a tear in the roof lining. You bet they'll lose customers.

UK jails schizophrenic for refusal to decrypt files

The Original Ash
Grenade

@Collin Millar

No, you can't prove that it's encrypted. But therein lies the danger. You can't prove that it's *NOT* encrypted.

There's your RIPA violation; Not providing keys. You can't prove it's not encrypted, they don't have to prove it is.

The Original Ash
Grenade

Sectioned, no less

Want to know who else was sectioned to keep her out of the way? Christine Collins.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wineville_Chicken_Coop_Murders

Combat games disrespect war laws, report claims

The Original Ash
WTF?

Dear Pro Juvenile and Trial...

IT'S NOT REAL. IT'S FAKE.

FANTASY.

A STORY.

FICTION.

FALSE.

ARTIFICIAL.

If these games were at all meant to imitate reality to any reasonable standard, there would be only one play-through, and if you died the game would delete itself and prevent re-installation, to accurately represent real life death in that situation.

Spotify embraces Symbian

The Original Ash
Unhappy

Windows Mobile?

It's a shame there's no Windows Mobile client; A little light entertainment on a train wouldn't be so bad.

They've been beaten to market, however. Groovefish streams Grooveshark media to WinMobile clients. It's not pretty, but it's functional.

Google to anoint Android, Chrome OS love (eventually)

The Original Ash
Heart

Fear not, HFoster

Android is open source; If they shaft it by doing something daft involving Chrome OS, there will be a fork.

There, there. Mommy kiss it better, and you shall have a story.

Microsoft stands tall over Xbox Live lawsuit threat

The Original Ash

Expect to lose the case

XBox Live ToS regarding modded consoles are there because console modding allows cheating on XBox Live. Those with modded consoles are able to cheat.

You should put in the article that xBox consoles continue to work without the XBox Live service, as do all XBox services which don't require XBox live.

Palm Pre update inbound

The Original Ash
WTF?

Automatically over 3G? No user intervention?

Expect to receive invoices for data usage, Palm.

TomTom Start

The Original Ash

@jake

I've seen reps driving with maps across the steering wheel. Not in the past few years, but I've seen it. Satnav stopped that. When you have no passenger to map read, and a deadline to meet, you don't use a map. You use satnav. It's more *safe* and also more convenient.

ISPA slams Mandy's copyright land grab

The Original Ash
FAIL

Forcing the hand

Well done, you've broken the camel's back.

Expect DHT and encrypted P2P to become standard, and the internet to go dark.

ACPO proposes new domestic violence database

The Original Ash
FAIL

As the Paedo Finder General says...

"INNOCENT UNTIL SPECULATED GUILTY."

Just tattoo serial numbers on our arms and be done with it. I'm happy being a number if it means I can get my cable TV and cheap dentistry.

IoSafe Solo disaster-proof drive

The Original Ash
FAIL

Alternatively

Two non-fireproof versions, with RAID1, in separate buildings, for the same price.

HTC HD2 Windows Mobile smartphone

The Original Ash
Thumb Up

Extra bits you're probably not allowed to say

There are plenty of enhancements over at XDA-Developers, my personal favourite being a 4x4 icon grid below the clock, and one to disable that truly irritating 1 hour 2 minute clock flip whenever you shift back to the home tab.

MoDaCo NoData will let you (selectively) disable data connections, so no roaming charges / unwanted data connections.

I don't read up much on the Leo forums (Codename for the HD2) but do check them out; Knowledgeable bunch!

Still like my Diamond 2, though :D

Ofcom talks to spook firm on filesharing snoop plan

The Original Ash
FAIL

I can has...

... Darknet?

National Security Agency beefed Win 7 defenses

The Original Ash
Black Helicopters

Right, so...

Firewalls set to "Paranoid" from now on.

US Navy electromagnetic mass-driver commences tests

The Original Ash
Thumb Up

Wooo!

Anyone dropped a rare-earth magnet on the rails by mistake?

Railgun anyone?

Universities saving skint students still waiting for loans

The Original Ash

Other side of the coin...

My g/f works in student finance for a top Uni, and she's had "emergency requests" from students who needed:

- Gym membership

- A new coat (designer label, of course)

- Salon treatment (facial, nails etc)

- Drinking

They have such warped ideas of "essential" it's untrue.

Facebook battles attack by child protection chief

The Original Ash
FAIL

The reason is obvious, isn't it

Facebook owners and employees are terrorists and want to blow up planes. Oh, wait, wrong straw man?

Drop CEOP, pay Social Workers what they deserve for an incredibly dangerous and thankless job, and go after creators and distributors of indecent images of children, instead of creating rubbish laws which makes seeing images which you find extremely objectionable (even by accident, or malicious intent of another) a crime which gets you on the sex offenders register, which you are unable to report for exactly that reason.

High-tech 'blade runner' legs better than real ones - profs

The Original Ash
Troll

Ok, so...

Attach lead weights at the "foot" portion of the legs to make them as difficult to manouver as a regular leg.

Cardiff Airport gets more security theatre

The Original Ash
FAIL

Bloody hell...

I guess this is a "I can't tell! Do not pass Go." false positive instead of a "Ah, you have a beard now! And a bigger nose, different hair, and breasts, but it's still you! On you pop, Mr Anne Widercombe!" false positive.

Still, best to throw the system out all together, eh?

V-22 Osprey, stealth jumpjet 'need refrigerated landing pads'

The Original Ash
WTF?

Call Troy Hurtubise

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troy_Hurtubise#Firepaste

http://www.baytoday.ca/content/news/details.asp?c=63

I can't find the video, but this guy made a 15mm plate out of his paste, puts it to his face, and holds a blowtorch against it for over 10 minutes. No appreciable temperature change behind the mask, material still strong.

This guy has been made bankrupt many times, yet his ideas and inventions are staggering. Give the guy some R&D money. Hell, send him to the Skunk Works. His wacky ideas will do your ailing boffins a world of good.

Oops! He's Canadian. Sucks to be you, I guess :D

Orange touts free tweets

The Original Ash

@Number6

Sending and receiving SMS messages costs the network absolutely nothing; It's built into Signalling System 7, and is part of the signal responsible for initiating and clearing voice connections.

The network infrastructure would be no less congested without SMS, and being able to charge for them is 100% profit.

BeautifulPeople shun hairy Reg hack

The Original Ash

@adnim

"I wonder how many of the accepted "elite" are also members of mensa?"

There's a lady who features in adult films who has a doctorate in Psychiatry. She chose to move into adult movies, though, as the pay was significantly better.

Pretty people can be smart too. (For a given value of pretty).

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