* Posts by The Original Ash

617 publicly visible posts • joined 11 Jun 2009

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Overzealous anti-paedo scheme not dead yet

The Original Ash
FAIL

Am I a threat?

I bought Modern Warfare 2 for the PC yesterday. Quite disappointing single player campaign... Was finished in a little over 5 hours. Far too linear.

Anyway, does that suggest a propensity to shooting up airports? Or is it blowing up airports as the Russians suggest? Or shooting up schools as the Americans suggest(ed after Columbine, Re: Doom).

I guess I should resign, seeing as I'm such a threat to the children at the schools I've worked in for six years.

Fail.

Assange fights extradition in court

The Original Ash

Re: Double standards much?

I, as an a private citizen, have the right to privacy. My private documents, my home, my possessions, should be safe from unwarranted inspection or seizure by anybody I do not wish to to do such.

Government bodies, as elected representatives of the people, have no right to privacy whatsoever *when performing the duties bestowed upon them*. They must demonstrate beyond any doubt that they are accurately, and to the best of their ability, performing the functions they are expected to, and they should be accountable to those who put them in that position via accountability through public inspection of the documentation of their work.

When they are private citizens, they have the same rights as any of us. When they are politicking, they should be transparent and open in their actions and words.

I hope that's cleared that up for you.

BBC apologises for Top Gear outrage

The Original Ash
FAIL

Hilarious?

It was funny for about 5-10 seconds; The typical time these pseudo-racist rants of Clarkson's go on for. When Hammond and May both jumped in too with their own slurs, it just became uncomfortable. I expect, and enjoy, that kind of humour from Frankie Boyle, as that's his shtick; Offending people.

That 1 minute segment shouldn't have been aired. Not because it was in bad taste or offensive, but because it was rubbish.

Photo loss blogger to Flickr: You're f*cking kidding

The Original Ash

@Tom Melly

"And BTW, can everyone who is ever tempted to post some smug and inane remark about backups every time they read about someone losing data, count to 10 and then go and do something more productive."

Flickr should definitely invest in a better backup solution, or more competent staff. Or both. Definitely the first one, though.

Rev slammed for PAYE failure

The Original Ash
FAIL

It gets better

The Powers That be have boned NI too.

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/reclaim/national-insurance-errors

Virgin Media kills 20Mb broadband service

The Original Ash

@Gangsta

You should probably sign up to their 50Mb service then.

LCD pushbutton sunglasses issued to US Navy SEALs

The Original Ash

Opaque when nervous?

Kind of like sticking your head in the sand? I'm guessing you meant translucent...

I'd be more impressed with a faster reaction time; 0.5 seconds is much slower than the blink reflex, so they'll still be dazzled fast changes in brightness. No good having the glasses tinting *after* being exposed to bright light; It'll be even more difficult to see.

Mexican army interdicts dope-slinging catapult

The Original Ash
Joke

"any kind of threat"

I was thinking more along the lines of:

"So, what do we do with these 16kgs of marijuana?"

"14kgs of marijuana you say?"

"i'll get the matches and citation pad."

Theresa May announces new counter-terrorism package

The Original Ash
FAIL

Whatever happend to Wacki Jacqui?

I think she may have recently signed a Deed of Change of Name.

Virgin extends 100Mb/s broadband reach

The Original Ash
FAIL

Contention

Not a chance in hell. They want to prove you can get 100Mb on the line by rolling it out to Bumpkintown, North Nowhere, so they can trump out figures stating 100Mb to the modem in marketing blurb. Once that's done, they can roll it out in the kit in London, have massive uptake, contention will cripple it, and everyone will STILL get 1/10th the advertised speed. Until 5pm, when it becomes 1/20th.

Smartphone makers to embrace multi-core chips

The Original Ash
FAIL

MOAR KORZ!

It'll either last around 30 minutes playing one of those "HD" movies (I say that as the screen won't be 720p, never mind 1080p), or it'll have a battery the size of a Ford Cortina.

Ultimate FAIL.

Gov will spend £400k to destroy ID card data

The Original Ash
Thumb Up

Here, let me help!

1. Download DBAN.

2. Boot servers holding data from DBAN disk. Select Write Zeros, single pass, and wipe.

3. Reboot DBAN disk, select Write Ones, single pass, and wipe.

4. Power off servers, remove HDDs, pay 20 college students £500 each to remove platters and chuck them in a woodchipper, £10k should cover the cost of the tools.

5. Send the IT hardware, with licensed OSs and some tech time, to lower-performing schools as free upgrades.

6.Give me £370,000 "consultancy fee.

There. I saved you £10k!

2011 Games Preview

The Original Ash

A TITLE IS HERE

The wait between HL and HL2 was for a complete new engine, which then required new artwork, level design, testing, all of the other gubbins I have no idea about when it comes to creating a game engine. THEN it was the building of the game itself on top of that.

We already have Source, it's over half a decade old, HL2: E1 and E2 came out within 18 months of each other (June 2006 and Oct 2007). HL2: E3 has been over 3 years in the making.

Seriously. I've lost interest. I'll get the synopsis.

The Original Ash
FAIL

HL2:E3 is a lost sale for me

I've lost interest. I'll check Wikipedia for the plot, but I won't buy it. It's been too damn long.

Next HL game I'm getting will be Black Mesa (Strictly a mod, but I'd pay for a full Source port of the original HL).

Google Nexus S Android smartphone

The Original Ash
Thumb Down

Samsung = Fail.

Samsung have a proven track record of "Release and Retire" for high-end handsets. They pump out new models quickly, forget old ones (by months, not years) which get no updates, and their support is notoriously horrid. The last Samsung phone I had was the Galaxy S, which I returned after 3 days. HTC Desire HD is now doing me just fine!

In a word, avoid.

HTC Desire HD

The Original Ash
Thumb Up

£25 pcm, free phone, 18 months on Orange

The catch? It's the "Chocolate" version, which means it's brown.

Looking at the back of my HTC Desire HD right now, and comparing it to the publicity pictures in the review, I'd say "brown" is an exaggeration. If you can upgrade, do it. You simply cannot regret it.

The Original Ash

Lookout

Download from the android market, create an account with MyLookout.com and use that. Service is much more reliable. Locator, basic backup and Antivirus are free, remote lock / wipe, Privacy Inspector (monitors outgoing data for private information) and "Enhanced" backup cost money.

The Original Ash

Re: INIT bug

Thanks for reminding me! Knew this from XDA-Dev forums, did it on my Desire. Just done it on my HD, and the difference is staggering!

Off-topic: Get 3G Watchdog from the market. Watching streaming video on that giant screen will chew up your data allowance, so it's proved invaluable for me! Set it per contract month to reset, will automatically disable data (using another app like APNdroid) when you hit the cap if you wish.

Not affiliated, just impressed.

The Original Ash

Anecdote of my own

I have GPS turned on all day, WiFi at home, and Friendstream and weather updating hourly, ebay / Aura (Eve Online app) every 5 minutes. Also have Lookout running constantly. I charge the phone overnight plugged into my PC, but if I forget I can get 2 days with the power-saving at 15%.

You must be doing something wrong, or your idea of use you "do not regard as heavy" must be completely different to mine. El Reg got 5 hours by playing video constantly!

South African wireless traffic lights pillaged by SIM-card thieves

The Original Ash
Joke

Serves them right!

They shouldn't have been so spiteful and cruel to the prawn.

BT confirms broadband upgrades for rotten boroughs

The Original Ash

Indeed

I was under the impression that these 6 towns were getting local exchange upgrades to support Infinity, allowing for bigger pipes between there and the central exchanges. If they're leaving in the old backbone infrastructure, I'm not sure what these towns hope to achieve. The pipe at your tap may well be 10mm wider than anyone elses, but it'll dribble all the same if your neighbours are all filling their baths.

The Original Ash
WTF?

That's right

Stick new fiber in to serve 360k people over six geographically disparate regions. Forget the 2m+ in Birmingham, London, or any other major city who get barely 1/10th the speed they pay for during peak hours.

Ugh...

Gov gone wild: Mad new pub glasses, bread freedom introduced

The Original Ash

You must be new here

Did you not spot the bright red banner at the top of the page? This is the IT version of the Daily Fail / Sun. Expect stories to be entertaining instead of informative. You need to go find any actual information yourself.

The Original Ash

Toaster?

Be a man and slice your own bread, and slice it properly! I've only ever seen "Doorstep" slices on one loaf so far, and they were only around 1/2".

If I can still fit the thing in my mouth, the bread isn't sliced thickly enough! "Wafer thin" toasty rubbish is pointless.

By the way, typically the own-brand cheap bread fits the toaster just fine. Give it a go; You're burning it anyway.

Ford cars get draconian parental controls

The Original Ash
FAIL

Some awesome safety features there

Won't stop them smashing into a post, resulting in daddy having to downsize to something which doesn't have Nanny Mode installed.

The Original Ash
Thumb Down

Great idea!

Except that way they'll be spending more time revving the engine outside your house. A car doing 20MPH with a dipped clutch and the accelerator to the floor will make just as much noise.

Assange to be released

The Original Ash
Pint

Hmmm, yeah.

Julian Assange: "Hey, I heard some women are making allegations of sexual assault. Would you like to talk to me?"

Swedish Prosecutor: "Hmmm no, actually. Thanks for calling."

---One month later---

Swedish Prosecutor: "Hello?"

US: "Hey there, America calling. That Julian Assange bloke is proving to be a bit of a nuisance with all of this 'airing of our laundry'. Could you get him back for that sex trial thing?"

SP: "What? Firstly, no, because we didn't think there was a case. Secondly, no, as he's not here any more."

US: "np kthxbai!"

InterPol: "Hello, InterPol."

US: "Hey, I hear that Julian Assange is wanted in Sweden for sex crimes, and he's fled to the UK!"

Interpol: "OMGWTF?! Get dat guy! SWEDEN YOU GET HIM BACK NAO!"

Sweden: "what is this I don't even"

US: "We got InterPol involved. HE'S A TERR'RIST!"

Sweden: "Ugh... FINE. UK send him back please. Sorry, US making us do it."

UK: "Ugh... FINE. £250k bail while we consider it.

JA: "FML."

Anonymous: "FOR THE LULZ!"

Check back next week for the next instalment of JA vs Totalitarian Regimes !

World of Warcraft bot ban ticks off world of critics

The Original Ash
Thumb Up

You and I both will get flamed

I think Glider should be allowed. It's useless for any end-game content, and levelling up is a chore after your 4th or 5th toon. I'd be more than happy to have a bot automate the "1, 2, 1, 2, loot, run, 1, 2, 1, 2, loot, run, 1, 2, 3 (heal) 1, 2, loot, run..." process of the first 30 or so levels while I watch a few episodes of House or Babylon 5.

If Glider could let you 8-man LK HC, then I'd say no, but if all you get are a few greens and a boat load of XP, I'm fine with it.

ASSANGE GRANTED BAIL

The Original Ash
Alert

Next in the dock

Alan Rushbridger, Editor of The Guardian

Simon Kelner, Editor of The Independent

Mark Thompson, Director General of the BBC

Wait, they're not being indicted? I could have sworn I was reading the cables on the Guardian's website, and watching news broadcasts regarding the contents of them on BBC Breakfast.

Axl Rose sues Activision

The Original Ash

It makes no difference anyway

Slash did a lot of GnR material at Download this year with his band (Myles Kennedy on vocals, Lemi making an appearance), and it was much more enjoyable than the travesties that Axl and his troupe vomited out a few years ago (barely, before leaving the stage an hour before he was due to finish, causing riots and fires in the campsites).

Down with Axl, Long live Slash!

Christians vs metalheads in FB flame war

The Original Ash
Terminator

New Facebook Page

Australian Chart to be topped by Akercocke's "The Horns of Baphomet" for Christmas.

Make it so.

Has CERN made the VATICAN ANTIMATTER BOMB for real?*

The Original Ash
Boffin

For comparison

You mention that 1/3g of antimatter reacting with matter would release the equivalent of a 15KTon of TNT explosion, the same as Little Boy dropped on Hiroshima. Total fissile material on that device was 65Kg.

For comparison, only 1.38% of the fissile material achieved fission, making it approx 900g.

So, it's roughly 2700x more energetic a reaction than fission!

'Spacetime cloak' could act as 'Star Trek transporter'

The Original Ash
FAIL

"Cunninger"?

That's the sort of mistake I'd expect a primary school kid to make, not an author and journalist.

The Original Ash

Light through a vacuum

"The speed of light" as people say is more accurately described as "the speed of light in a vacuum." it is possible to slow down and speed up light within any other material, as it will always be slower than the speed of light in a vacuum. These guys are adjusting material properties to do just that. Note that light will never move faster than "the speed of light in a vacuum" relative to a fixed observer.

UK.gov closes wiretap loopholes after Phorm row

The Original Ash
FAIL

Bwahahaha!

You think they'll ask you, and not state that it's part of the Terms of Service! You can bet it'll be Hobson's Choice (as soon as / if) the amendments are passed.

North Korean PDA hits shelves

The Original Ash
Joke

Security feature

Using the device for any purpose which could be linked to subverting the will of The Good and Godly Kim Jong Il will result in the battery overheating and exploding.

ALL HAIL XEN... Uhh KIM JONG IL!

Software engineer blogs own Starbucks wiretap

The Original Ash
FAIL

Not WPA

WPA uses a 4-way handshake to generate and assign a Pairwise Transient Key which is derived from many sources of information, including the AP MAC address, but more importantly the client MAC. This is then cryptographically hashed. This essentially means that each client connected to the AP has its own key, and cannot be sidejacked.

However, I know from experience that Starbucks use open wifi APs, so this doesn't apply.

More info here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IEEE_802.11i-2004

Airport screeners go for the groin

The Original Ash

Solution

Pour water onto your crotch. Claim bladder problems.

Threaten to sue for discrimination if they don't touch your "pee".

The Original Ash

Hmmm

Superfluous "s" on that last word, Ms. Bee.

Youth jailed for not handing over encryption password

The Original Ash

Apologies, Re. Homosexual activity

18 years is the age of consent for homosexual sexual activity, and for taking or appearing in sexually provocative images.

What qualifies as "sexually provocative" is left up to Daily Mail readers, by the state of things. Bearing in mind that people have married a fence, the Eiffel Tower, plus Rule 34, pretty much everything made after 1992 is illegal in this country.

Go figure.

The Original Ash

Wrong.

You are a child until 18.

At 16, you may engage in consenting heterosexual sexual activity with another person over the age of 16.

At 18, you may engage in consenting homosexual sexual activity with another person over the age of 16. You may also take or pose in pictures of a sexual or lewd nature at this age, but not before.

Therefore, you may get down and dirty with your neighbour's 17 year old daughter, but you're a pervert on the sex offenders register if she "sexts" you a pic of her boobs, regardless of consent.

The Original Ash
FAIL

I've said this earlier...

... but I'll say it again. You cannot prove you don't have a hidden volume, so the implication is that you always have one. When asked for the password for the hidden volume, you will say "I don't have one."

They will say "Prove it."

You will say "I don't have to."

They will say "We didn't find anything on your encrypted volume, so it must be in the hidden one."

You will say "I don't have one."

They will say "Prove it."

You will say "Oh."

They will say "Free room and board, 2 years."

The Original Ash

@Neil Brown

Double Jeopardy. He's refusing to give the password for the same encrypted volume he refused to before. Worst that can happen here is being found in contempt of court and being returned to jail every time he refuses to give the password, but that's not within the remit of s49.

The Original Ash

It's Blair's fault

There is an "innocent until proven guilty" provision in there, but Blair excluded it before signing. There was talk before the election of the Tories / Lib Dems pulling out of the Charter, then re-signing it in its entirety. So far, no dice.

The Original Ash

I remember that too

It was 1994, with the Criminal Justice and Public Order Act.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Right_to_silence_in_England_and_Wales#Adverse_inferences_from_silence

EU sues UK.gov over Phorm trials

The Original Ash

Private prosecution

Anyone up for contributing to a fund for prosecuting those involved? The Police decided previously that there was no case, so CPS never had the option of assessing the evidence (thereby preventing them from taking over and preventing retrial under Double Jeopardy regs). If EU say that it's illegal, we can bring that to ECJ and have them start proceedings against BT, Phorm, and the others involved.

I'm not having my tax money spent paying fines imposed upon a previous government I didn't vote for and a company which should have known better. They can look after themselves.

US demands right to snoop the world

The Original Ash

Indeed

And that street is the back alley.

O2 shocks customers by slashing iPad data allowance

The Original Ash
Thumb Down

Oh really?

Shame... My Orange contract expires in around 16 days. I was planning on going back to O2.

Never mind. I'm sure they have plenty more customers to alienate without worrying about me :)

Vodafone volte-face on Galaxy S

The Original Ash

Speaking from experience...

Yes they will. If the bootloader is in any way modified, they can tell just by loading it to recovery mode.

Damage which results in the phone not being able to power on at all (water, physical) wouldn't be a warranty covered issue anyway. You'd claim on insurance for that.

The Original Ash

Re Translation

Revised:

We spoke to the accountants, and it appears that the stock level of Galaxy S phones, as well as other HTC manufactured smartphones, in our shops and online store is exactly the same as it was as soon as we stated that this update would invalidate your warranty. Please, please come buy our phones again. We're really sorry.

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