* Posts by Howard Hanek

757 publicly visible posts • joined 25 Apr 2009

Tesla to stop killing drivers: Software update beamed to leccy cars

Howard Hanek
Facepalm

Pandemic of Depression

I never realized so many people have a death wish. Why just recently the campaign to prevent concussions in professional sports was in full swing. I really can't understand why that was an issue when so many people wanting driverless cars seem not to mind death.

Cisco's head of enterprise networking bails

Howard Hanek
Happy

His Chute Was PACKED!

He personally supervised it's preparation and it was PACKED so that no matter where he landed he could create the kind of compound where he could relax and enjoy himself until the non-compete clause expired.

Excel abuse hits new heights as dev uses VBA to code spreadsheet messaging app

Howard Hanek
Happy

Bah

This project, by one Tristan Calderbank, is pretty special.

Balderbunk I say!

Star Trek film theory: 50 years, 13 films, odds good, evens bad? Horta puckey!

Howard Hanek
Linux

Alien Acquatic Mammals

I'm still waiting for that HUGE fish tank space ship the alien whale species tool around in from Star Trek IV.

The boarding party scene should be hysterical when they find out that the whales look at them like krill.......with an outer shell that's a little 'crunchy'......

Apple killed OS X today and binned its $10,000 BlingWatch too

Howard Hanek
Linux

Like Old Times

With the new iPhone I visualize millions walking around yelling "....can you hear me? Can you hear me now? Can you here me? Just like old times but it won't be part of a commercial. It'll be real.

Sex is bad for older men, and even worse when it's good

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

Waldorf & Astoria

...are NOW my favorite muppets. They don't seem to suffer any impairment or abnormalities? I'd call them physically and mentally fit.......for puppets. Perhaps more research is in order and I'd LOVE to participate.

Obama says USA has world's biggest and best cyber arsenal

Howard Hanek
Meh

Re: A Word of Caution

I visualize Baghdad Bob a week before the end of the Gulf War proclaiming the complete annihilation of the enemy forces advancing on Baghdad.......

Howard Hanek
Angel

A Word of Caution

Many of us in the the states have been taught through hard experience the wisdom of discounting down to zero any announcement that begins with the words "Obama says........."

It's not uncommon to later learn that the complete opposite was true.

That being said it is likely that a major cyber attack has either already occurred or one the intelligence community has learned of finds them without a proper defense or counter-measure.

'I'm sorry, your lift has had a problem and had to shut down'

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

Why Is It ALWAYS Someone Else's Fault?

.....the Memory ....

.....the Third Party Module....

.....the Power......

.....the Network.....

.....the Media.....

It's a wonder it EVER boots up.........

Redmond has popped more kernels than Orville Redenbacher....

Exploding Samsung Galaxy Note 7 phablets recalled immediately

Howard Hanek
Unhappy

Question

Did any of these exploding Samsung batteries detonate when in proximity to an iPhone?

FBI Director wants 'adult conversation' about backdooring encryption

Howard Hanek
Happy

Adults

Invariably the most corrupt, dishonest people are 'adults'. Take Director Comey for example........

As long aa governmment dishonesty and corruption runs rampant you would HAVE to be the worst kind of fool to fall for national seccurity ploys. The evil that walks our government halls are harming us much worse than sporadic terrorrism and will only be emboldened by giving it carte blanche.

EU verdict: Apple received €13bn in illegal tax benefits from Ireland

Howard Hanek
FAIL

Re: A New Phase for the EU

Spoken like a true socialist. I state the obvious consequences and that earns me an epithet of 'thief'? In your infinite wisdom and all knowing condition of personal perfection your ascension to a higher plane of existence must be imminent.

Howard Hanek
Coat

A New Phase for the EU

Having committed political suicide the EU is now committing economic suicide because, you know, that's who they are.

Having offended everyone else in the world, Linus Torvalds calls own lawyers a 'nasty festering disease'

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

Suffering Side Effects

.....Linus is suffering from a case of too many body piercings left to fester.....

Windows 10 Anniversary Update completely borks USB webcams. Yay.

Howard Hanek
Happy

Retask the Webcam?

From the captioned picture did the webcam suddenly become a depilatory device? If so then that will be yet another 'feature' of W10. Turning the webcam into a laser hair removal utensil certainly would improve sales.

$100m settlement snub: Super Cali goes ballistic, says Uber deal atrocious

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

Mary Poppins Fans Thrilled

They've been waiting fifty years to relive their childhood and ElReg has given them their spoonful of sugar.

Cisco raises axe above 14,000 staff – reports

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

Another Miraculous Ascension

......will they invite the media to the event? How will they communicate later?

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

Analogy

Both Cisco and IBM seem to have HR policies I equate with a vane, wealthy individuals who gets extensive liposuction treatments every year or so. Equating employees with excess fat is NOT the way to lead them to their true potential and establish a healthy relationship with the others. The company's goals shouldn't include dying of anorexia.

Some Windows 10 Anniversary Update: SSD freeze

Howard Hanek
Windows

Re: Bah!

It's probably Windows Defender. Disable the maintenance scans in taskmanager.

Howard Hanek
Windows

Woe Is Me

I've set up I don't know how many PCs with W10 on an SSD and a large data drive. I can't wait for all those calls. The configuration makes support easier with the separate system partition easier to back up and restore with redundant data locally and in a cloud.

Tim Cook's answer to crashing iPhone sales: More iPhones

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

Goldilocks

Sorry Mr. Cook. Fairy Tale marketing only works until they get a little older and wiser. Work on improving the iPhone not making it even more proprietary.

Bees bring down US stealth fighter

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

Oh Dear

They couldn't be British bees because THEY got into trouble following the Queen.

Judges put FCC back in its box: No, you can't override state laws, not even for city broadband

Howard Hanek
Windows

Jackboots

Our Federal Jackboots are there to 'service you' 24/7.

Adblock Plus blocks Facebook block of Adblock Plus block of Facebook block of Adblock Plus block of Facebook ads

Howard Hanek
Headmaster

Re: BLOCK WARS

We're perilously close to an extinction event where we inadvertently rip a hole in the space/time contiuum.... AdiBan Iwannabee

Mobile malaise drags down Asus Q2 numbers

Howard Hanek
Linux

Sound Schemes and Ring Tones

For the Zenphone have they finally managed to get the Tibetan Monk chants I've been asking for?

Windows 10 Anniversary Update crashing under Avast antivirus update

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

I Can Imagine the Marketing Campaign

......Microsoft in cooperation with their partner Avast have succeeded where all others have failed. They've achieved a totally secure computer environment..........while your machine is turned off and stays off.

Mars' 'little green men' buried alive by merciless meteorites – new theory

Howard Hanek
Headmaster

A Simple Analogy

In Galactic terms think of it as a child who's been dropped on his head one too many times.

Windows 10 Anniversary Update is borking boxen everywhere

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

Data Glut

...I suspect all the data that Redmond 'acquires' does cause network bottlenecks that halts systems.

BBC detector vans are back to spy on your home Wi-Fi – if you can believe it

Howard Hanek
Holmes

Are We Sure?

....they aren't from the Mayor of London's office searching for blasphemers?

Don't want to vote for Clinton or Trump? How about this woman who says Wi-Fi melts kids' brains?

Howard Hanek
Alien

Maiden Name?

On the planet Zagon where she comes from, what was her maiden name before she was exiled for Crimes Against Inhumanity to a back water planet at the edge of the galaxy?

My Microsoft Office 365 woes: Constant crashes, malware macros – and settings from Hell

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

Oh Dear?

In the scheme of things I question the stability of any product who's creator or manufacturer is located on a very geologically unstable location. I mean, well it speaks volumes about the level of 'planning' that goes into their future.

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

Enlightening

You'd have to go back the 50s and read actual accounts of life under Communist rule to get an idea how far the reality was from the propaganda.

Windows 10 grabs 22 per cent desktop market share in a year

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

What For It

Let me foretell your future. Don't worry, it's free. It won't cost you a cent!

Here. Sit down. Give me your palm. See? There? I can see a bright future full of.......

All the while unseen hands have located your wallet, all your information, and if you have a cam, well all the better. The Gypsy Fortune Tellers have upgraded their 'skills' and are now 'Product Managers' in Redmond.

Microsoft grabs employment guns, aims at British sales units

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

David Copperfield

Probably consulted with MS HR people on this best methods for making them disappear......

Dem-owned-crats: Now its congressional committee is hacked

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

New Developments

I'm waiting for the first diagnosis that, indeed, you can contract a lethal social disease from just reading these Pols emails. It starts in the optical regional and invades the cerebral cortex leaving you incoherent and unable to accept bribes. In D.C. that's completely debilitating and a reason to file for workman's compensation.....

Microsoft axes 2,850 more Windows Phone, sales staff – a week after Justin Timberlake sang on stage for them

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

For the Next MS Global Expo......

David Cooperfield makes 2000 of the audience disappear......

What's long, hard and full of seamen? The USS Harvey Milk

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

Entering That Pantheon......

....of famous ships. Titanic, Poseidon, Thresher, Mayaquez, PT-109, Arizona, Indianapolis, Wasp......Lusitania. Need I go on? The name invites a torpedo attack like a red cape to a bull and the butt of jokes from all SEAMEN.

Windows 10 Pro Anniversary Update tweaked to stop you disabling app promos

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

I Don't WANT To See the Outer Limits

"There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We can roll the image, make it flutter. We can change the focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next hour, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat: there is nothing wrong with your television set. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to – The Outer Limits."

Group Policy disabled? I don't LIKE having defaults changed and be forced to use third rate applications with limited features.

Ditch your Macs, Dell tells EMC staff

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

Well You CAN Fake It

Slap a Dell lid cover decal over that Macbook........

Microsoft blames dying Surface Pro 3 batteries on software bug

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

Buy a SurfacePro and Save the Planet....or something

One of the more expensive components of our growing urban landfills........

Lowland Scots plunged into panic by marauding ostrich family

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

Not to Worry

Our avian friend will fit right in there. They'll probably knit him a kilt and induct him into a clan.

Dolly the sheep clones have aged well, say scientists

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

I'm Curious

Was there some other reason besides science WHY anyone decided on cloning a sheep first? In this age of gender confusion this may have been a breakthrough of another kind that the public wasn't aware of. Is there a social side to this story we haven't been told? A wealthy donor perhaps? From the Gulf States?

Yahoo! She said yes. Verizon confirms $4.8bn acquisition

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

One Last Economic Benefit

Her payout will give one last shot to Haut Couture, mega-party planners and personal groomers before she's swallowed up into a well deserved final obscurity.

Howard Hanek
Terminator

Mayer a Reincarnated Egyptian Princess?

....trying to revive her Mummy Prince? And Failing again?

Microsoft to rip up P2P Skype, killing native Mac, Linux apps

Howard Hanek
Linux

Feature Rich

....and for no extra charge they'll delete or add words to your conversations so you won't offend or upset any one of the dozens of 'special' groups.

Hewlett Packard Enterprise: Brexit, weak pound. A price hike is coming

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

Before or After Decapitation?

Lord Stark lost his head too because of a faulty 'enterprise' strategy is my guess.

Microsoft ordered to fix 'excessively intrusive, insecure' Windows 10

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

Opens Frightening Possibilities

Hypothetically what's to prevent blackmail and extortion by the vendor or their employees or anyone who can steal the data from the vendor? .......and 'Where would you like to go today?'.....

Star Trek Beyond: An unwatchable steaming pile of tribble dung

Howard Hanek
Linux

Blame It On A Transporter Malfunction

......best viewed by creatures with eyes on only one side of their head......

How's this for irony? US Navy hit with $600m software piracy claim

Howard Hanek
Pirate

Privateers

...they had US Government Letters of Mark

UK 'emergency' bulk data slurp permissible in pursuit of 'serious crime'

Howard Hanek
Childcatcher

We Need a Graph....

...........depicting the rise of 'serious crime' and the decline 'ethical government'....