nav search
Data Centre Software Security DevOps Business Personal Tech Science Emergent Tech Bootnotes
BOFH
Lectures

* Posts by J.G.Harston

1634 posts • joined 4 Mar 2009

Man cuffed for testing fruit with bum cheek pre-purchase

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: Bread

The story made me immediately think of this.

0
0

Leeds hospital launches campaign to 'axe the fax'

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: Dangerous

That's why they're moving to emails within nhs.net, so they're never seen or processed by the outside world. Any flaws in the email process are then entirely internal.

0
0

'Men only' job ad posts land Facebook in boiling hot water with ACLU

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: "Become a royal Navy Engineer" advert

Well somebody should sue, as they advetise the opportunity to become a technician, not an engineer.

0
0

First it was hashtags – now Amber Rudd gives us Brits knowledge on national ID cards

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

"This includes simplified access to .GOV websites"

Why should the UK government introduce ID cards just so we can use US government websites?

3
1

Python joins movement to dump 'offensive' master, slave terms

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: So now your going to upset the Indians and the Hippies?

First Nations and Persons Of Restricted Hygiene.

6
1
J.G.Harston
Silver badge

So, what verb should I use for the action that occurs when the interupt line changes state and the processor redirects execution away from the mainline code?

2
0
J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: Hold on a moment...

Main/Subsidiary? Then PCBs can still be labelled M and S.

3
0
J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: Blackboards???

If the thing you write on is now to be called by the thing you use to write on it, then that forces us to have markerboards, inksheets and stylusboards.

3
0

UK.gov's no-deal plans leave HMRC customs, VAT systems scrambling to keep up

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

VAT: Wasn't it announced last month that all import VAT would be subsumed into normal annual VAT returns, regardless of source of import, regardless of a deal or no deal.

2
0

Nope, the NSA isn't sitting in front of a supercomputer hooked up to a terrorist’s hard drive

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Orac was meant to be fiction, not a blueprint.

13
0

Software dev-turned-councillor launches rubbish* chatbot

J.G.Harston
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Oh great

- What's the postcode?

+ Doesn't have one, it's "un-named road", 150m from the junction with "un-named road" that runs between the Bxxx and the Byyyy". Grid reference NZxxxx xxxx.

- I don't recognise that postcode.

I had an almost identical conversation with the polis trying to direct them to a car smash at the top of the moors 15 miles from the nearest phone signal.

2
0

Don't let Google dox me on Lumen Database, nameless man begs

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Kafka-eqsue

...but the other way around.

There are two fundamental items of information any defendant requires to defend themselves from a legal charge - what am I charged with, and ***WHO*** is charging me.

There are arguments for and against as to whether the public should have access to this information before, during, or after a trail, but *within* a trial it is fundamental.

2
0

Surprise! VAT, customs likely to get a bit trickier in a Brexit no-deal world

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: This Train Wreck is getting interesting

Why would we put tarrifs on things we want to buy?

That is how tarrifs work, you know. The importing country's government forces importing consumers to pay more than they otherwise would.

8
0

US Democrats call in Feds: There's something phishy going on with our voter database

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: "This fake website was spam-vertised using bogus emails"

Sorry, but I *would* expect users to notice that the URL was not votebuilder.michigan.democrat.org (or whatever) and at corporate level users should be expected to notice that the URL was not wotsit.mycompanyurl and governmental users should be expected to notice that the URL was not foobar.subsection.gov.uk exactly as I have the responsibility to check that the URL for my party's database is not thingy.myparty.org.uk.

1
2

Tax the tech giants and ISPs until the bits squeak – Corbyn

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: The BBC had its chance

The Beeb campaigned for set-top boxes to *not* have a card slot specifically to impede the path to the BBC becoming a subscription service.

3
0

London's Gatwick Airport flies back to the future as screens fail

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: "if you ever had to move [...] airport to a new location "..

One of my nephews* moved Hong Kong airport overnight.

*not on his own - took about 2000 peeps IIRC. Lovely bit of overtime.

8
1
J.G.Harston
Silver badge

When they said they were using their standby manual whiteboard display boards, I pictured something like this - like the big display board you see in WW2 RAF movies with WAAFs scurrying up and down ladders. Not a poxy conference room flip chart.

3
1

Home Office seeks Brexit tech boss – but doesn't splash the cash

J.G.Harston
Silver badge
Facepalm

This like getting on a 24-hr flight to New Zealand, and somewhere above the Indian Ocean deciding that now is a good time to look for a hotel to stay in.

7
0

Boss regrets pointing finger at chilled out techie who finished upgrade early

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

I had a provider send their "we're dropping this service" email to the ancient dail-up address that they had terminated when they transfered me to non-dial-up.

26
0

Rejoice! Thousands more kids flock to computing A-level

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: Good luck to em

They are two different courses because they are two different things. One is how to drive a car, the other is automotive engineering. If you signed up for automotive engineering and spent the whole time being taught how to drive, how pissed off would you be?

1
0
J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: Look like the back of a bus

Dara Ó Briain in a one-piece? hooo hooo hooo.

0
0
J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: I was thinking similar thoughts

Computer science is not about programming. One of the most famous computer scientists said "Computer science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes", and barely ever touched a computer.

So so true, and I wish I had known that 30 years ago when picking my degree course. I spent three years wondering "when are we going to do, you know, some *actual* computing?" Not realising that I *was* doing "computing", I just wasn't doing what I should have called it, programming/software development/engineering. It didn't help that actual programming/software development/egineering courses were (and still are) called "electrical engineering" !!!!! Yer wot??? I want to be designing code and programming computers, not wiring up houses.

3
0
J.G.Harston
Silver badge
Facepalm

I bash my head on the desk in dispair as almost every commentator on here completely confuses and mixes up IT (how to drive a car), IT Admin (how to check the oil in a car) and programming/development (automotive engineering). No wonder kids are put off a software engineering career if they are given work experience plugging cables into patch bays. "Oh, but it's all computers, innit". Yes, and *THAT* attitude is the problem. Hey, our kid's interesting in "cars", let's get him a summer job delivering fruit & veg.

1
0
J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: Fundamentals of IT

Essentially, what you have said is a week as a delivery driver put him off automotive engineering. No wonder he was put off.

0
0

EU wants one phone plug to rule them all. But we've got a better idea.

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Just mandate that all equipment has an IEC power socket. Works well enough for all the rest of my electrical equipment.

7
1

Phased out: IT architect plugs hole in clean-freak admin's wiring design

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: get out quick

I was rewiring my brother ex-council house 20 years ago. Pulled the "downstairs lights" fuse and the stair lights go out. Ok, sorted, that's the right fuse. Start working on the electrics - bang! After a sit down and a cuppa, investigation turns out that the stairs lights - one light at bottom, one at the top, switch at the bottom, switch at the top - somebody had decided that naturally, that had to be wired to both the downstairs fuse *and* the *upstairs* fuse.

8
0

Devon County Council techies: WE KNOW IT WASN'T YOU!

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Don't you remember last week's On Call? You have to talk softly to the printer and give it a hug.

6
0

Top Euro court: No, you can't steal images from other websites (too bad a school had to be sued to confirm this little fact)

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Ah yes, The Mail already has permission to print Snowden's "Charles, Diana and William", so I can take a copy and print it myself!

1
0

UK.gov to tech industry: Hands up who can help cut teachers' admin

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

The reasons for this are varied...

Most IT people have penises, and in our society anybody with a penis who wants to work around children is a kiddie fiddler?

3
0

Almost 1 in 3 Brits think they lack computer skills to do their jobs well

J.G.Harston
Silver badge
Facepalm

Only a third?

Ha!

Just a couple of days ago I was called by my neighbour who works for the council from home. "I can't find the file I saved earlier!"

- Ok, go through what you did to save it.

+ Opens email, opens document in email, modifies document, selects Save, dialogue opens to Temporary Internet Files.

- Ok, when did you save it?

+ Yesterday

- You see that name "Temporary", that means "temporary" as in not permanant, as in everything gets deleted in there from time to time, usually when you log off. You shouldn't save things there, you should be saving in My Documents or somewhere. Here, do that again and here, click there and there to save in your Documents.

a bit of practise, and time passes...

+ So how do I find that file then?

- Go to your Documents, how do you do that on here? Try that Start button, ok there: 'Documents'.

+ But where is it?

- Well, that's just the first ten entries, they're all directories, try scrolling down to find the files, scroll down, no down, no, click there and, no! not there, scroll, see that thing there, it's called a scroll bar, scroll it by, no! stop!, let me!, like this!

Scrolls on forever, more than 500+ files in Documents.

- You really should organise things in subdirectories.

+ Oh, that's too difficult

8
1

Basic bigot bait: Build big black broad bots – non-white, female 'droids get all the abuse

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: I can see where this will lead

When I first read Asimov I pictured R. Daneel as "mediterranean" complexion - "dark haired and with bronzed skin" I think he is described as.

7
0

Grad sends warning to manager: Be nice to our kit and it'll be nice to you

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: what the fuck does PC LOAD LETTER mean?

P(aper) C(arrier is empty of the expected letter sized paper,) LOAD (the carrier with) LETTER (sized paper).

Printer has A4 paper, document or printer driver has been laid out to print on Letter paper.

15
0

Boffins build a NAZI AI – wait, let's check that... OK, it's a grammar nazi

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: The problem

It's not phonetics that's the problem, it's phonics.

2
0
J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: "... misplaced apostrophe's, ..."

Agh! And subject-verb-counting mismatches. So.... hard... to... read... without screaming!

1
0

'Unhackable' Bitfi crypto-currency wallet maker will be shocked to find fingernails exist

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

6580?

So, an 80-bit 6502?

2
0

Beam me up, UK.gov: 'Extra-terrestrial markup language' booted off G-Cloud

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

A51 Technologies

So, just outside Chester?

3
0

Early experiment in mass email ends with mad dash across office to unplug mail gateway

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

I was once asked for directions to the Lap Latta club. It took several goes before I realised they were looking for the La Plata club behind me.

3
0

FBI boss: We went to the Moon, so why can't we have crypto backdoors? – and more this week

J.G.Harston
Silver badge
Facepalm

Back door access

Surely the answer is: if *we* can put a man on the moon, that means *everybody* *else* can too!

12
0

Nah, it won't install: The return of the ad-blocker-blocker

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: Unpaid walking advert for someone else's company

How do you transport your wealth in a hurry if it needs five trucks to move it?

7
0

HPE supercomputer is still crunching numbers in space after 340 days

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

you mean...

crunching numbers IN SPAAAAAACCEE!

6
0

I predict a riot: Amazon UK chief foresees 'civil unrest' for no-deal Brexit

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: Yep, I'm posting AC. But thats due to the internet never forgetting.

We want British people to make decisions about British matters.... wait, what, a court case to force the British Parliament to decide on how to progress British relations with the EU? British lawmakers trying to decide British law regarding the EU? No!!! We didn't mean that!

8
1
J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: How I see it.

But "business as usual" would have been taken by the usual suspects to mean "full steam ahead into abolishing the nation state and fully subsume into a supra-national state"

4
0
J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: eh?

WTO does *NOT* insist that tarrifs must be applied. The only insist that if we ***CHOOSE*** to apply tariffs that they be no higher than 5%. Zero is no higher than 5. Zero is fully allowable and encouraged by WTO rules. Seeing as some EU tariffs are currently 60%+ WTO rules would actually mean us being forced to ****REDUCE**** tariffs.

5
0

Declassified files reveal how pre-WW2 Brits smashed Russian crypto

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Nah, it goes: one you you one for me, two for you one two for me, three for you one two three for me....

2
0

Either my name, my password or my soul is invalid – but which?

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

The HMRC site barfs on "special" characters anywhere you use them. "Note: 50% of income in 2015-16 after the first £500..." Barf! Sorry, can't accept that! No reason given, but by experimentation you have to remove : % - and - !!!! - £. When trying to submit your bloody taxes!

3
0
J.G.Harston
Silver badge

I once worked at an organisation that rolled out logon ids that were First Initial, Last Initial, Payroll Number (eg lh891234). Except for our small department who had started before this roll-out. Whenever we contacted the HelpDesk we had to go through the rigmarol of "your ID is your payroll number..." No it isn't! "Yes it is, your ID is your payroll number..." No! Listen to me!

It was a struggle, but we eventually forced them to migrate us to the "standard" logon ID scheme.

4
0

Taps running dry for Capita? Southern Water pens 5-year managed service

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: Missing the obvious

Wel, if the people who would benefit from the leaks being fixed would be prepared to pay for their benefit, it would happen fairly quickly.

0
5

Shouting lager, lager... Carlsberg's beer AI can now tell pilsners apart

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

tell the difference between lager and pilsner

But pilsner *is* a lager. It's like saying you can tell the difference between vegetables and carrots.

0
0

Tech team trapped in data centre as hypoxic gas flooded in. Again

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Hoover don't make Henries, they make Hoovers. Numatic make Henries.

8
2

No, seriously, why are you holding your phone like that?

J.G.Harston
Silver badge

Re: Only yesterday...

How the farking zarquon do you obstruct your FACE by using a telephone?

5
0

The Register - Independent news and views for the tech community. Part of Situation Publishing