Posts by Chris King

Moving to Vista wouldn't help (that also goes end-of-life in April) unless drivers/apps work in later versions of Windows.

There will be a lot of embedded systems with XP front-ends that just can't be upgraded - either they'll have to be completely replaced, or put through expensive recertification processes (to ensure that they're safe and producing reliable, reproduceable results) if they're upgraded - assuming the supplier is still in business.

Desktop stuff, I have less sympathy for...

Re: Scaling new lows

"Security used to be pants..."

Sophos said something very similar years ago, and they sent my colleague a pair of Y-fronts to prove it. I think they also sent him an odd sock as well !

Re: Be careful what you wish for...

Now I think about it further, they're cyborgs anyway, not AI's - but conditioned/taught to treat anything that isn't a Dalek as slaves or target practice. If they're following that conditioning to the letter, is that really hate, or just doing what they're told ? Looks the same if you're on the business end of the gun-stalk, I guess.

Be careful what you wish for...

"... Let's just keep the AI emotionless?"

"Pity? I have no understanding of the word. It is not registered in my vocabulary bank. EXTERMINATE !!!"

(Can we have a Dalek icon please, El Reg ?)

Re: Sorry...I don't believe it...

"An Apple rep talking to El Reg. Pics or it didn't happen..."

If we get one it will be a Playmobil pic, to maintain El Reg standards.

Re: Child labor?

"Krillitane oil".

You are the Doctor, and I claim my free Tin Dog.

Re: Levels of backup

Backing stuff up between machines in a research group is one thing, but you still need to make sure you've got a backup somewhere else.

What if you're all in one building that goes BOOMCRACKLECRACKLECRACKLE ?

(I was there a couple of weeks before the blaze, and a colleague said "Oooh, I wouldn't want to be near those gas tanks if the place goes up !")

I've also seen a research team lose access to everything when one of their number did something rather naughty, and Mr Plod seized ALL of their kit. They had all been backing up their work to each other's machines, and NOWHERE else. Fortunately, they got their machines back reasonably quickly, but not before they had to buy replacements and beg Plod to make a copy of their data to fresh disks.

Re: Primary teachers

"I know a few. They spend so much time with the dribbly end of the pupil cadre that their brains turn a little bit mushy".

Poor buggers. It's usually having to deal with the more "special" parents that inflicts most of the brain damage these days.

Re: Not me, but a colleague ..

"As I was leaving she was very drunk and loudly telling everyone in the room that because the cleaner had not laid her clothes out on the bed that morning that she had been forced to come to work with no knickers".

So I guess that one went on the "sun-over-the-yardarm" list, i.e. customers you only visit in the morning because they'll be drunk, rude and unreasonable after a liquid lunch ?

On the subject of underwear (or lack thereof), I have actually bailed out of an on-call when one sozzled customer asked me if I knew what a VPL was, and then mentioned that she wasn't wearing any.

Re: although I imagine Ryanair might yet put this idea under consideration

Don't give them any ideas now - with the exchange rates being what they are, how many kidneys would they demand for the Excess Luggage Fee ?

Re: I know that feeling

Councils and stupid policies... why is that so familiar ?

One morning, I'm accosted by some numpty handing out little composting bins, and he refused to take "No" for an answer.

"Look, I live in an upstairs flat with no garden, and I don't even have enough space for window boxes - what the hell am I going to do with compost ?"

"Errr, I don't know, but Composting Is Good" (yes, "Composting Is Good" was the catch phrase)

After going round this argument in circles for several minutes, I accepted the box and sent him on his way. Once he was out of sight, I threw it into my green wheelie bin, because "Recycling is good".

Turns out everyone else had the same idea, and on the next collection day the bin men had a bit of a surprise... That green wheelie bin was completely full to the brim of these little composting bins !

Thinking back, I know I did a very bad thing, throwing it away in the green garden waste bin like that... being plastic, I should have stuffed it into a green recycling bag.

Flasher Season

Current gig has a path leading up to halls of residence, and occasionally some clown decides to expose himself to the freshers.

One time, I had to use that path, and some Friend of Humanity decides to display his wares - this one didn't care if his victims were male or female, I think he just got a kick out of the shock value.

He didn't bank on me pointing at his groin and saying "Oh ! It looks just like a penis, only smaller !"

For those of you wanting something to play back at dirty callers, check out "Short Dick Man" by 20 Fingers - I'm sure the (totally NSFW) chorus and lines like "Isn't that cute, an extra belly button ?" will get the point across. (Don't bother with the versions on Youtube, most of them are censored)

"Perv Signal"

My last place didn't have a "Perv Signal", but we did have a "Nutter Signal" - if someone phoned me up and asked me to refill a particular (non-existent) printer, that was my cue to head to Reception and assist colleagues if necessary.

It only ever got used once, but the cause was immediately obvious... A spaced-out student carrying a rag doll, which he put down on the desk and started to talk to it. "Now you keep quiet while I talk to the nice lady !"

That one lasted a couple of years, until he was told to go away and not come back until he had seen a shrink. Talking to rag dolls is one thing, head-butting police cars (and leaving a head-shaped dent in the bonnet) is quite another.

Re: so..

"Before anyone points out that if there's no uniform, some people may feel uncomfortable dressing so informally for work. There's always a middle ground, if not jeans and t-shirt, some smart trousers and a plain work shirt with no tie (frankly no one who is opening up electronic equipment routinely should wear a tie for work anyway, it's a danger unless you take it off all the time). Jacket optional".

Smart trousers and a plain shirt works for me - I can roll up my sleeves if I need to work on hardware, but I can put on a tie and "scrub up" if I need to deal with externals or VIP's. I've even got a pair of safety shoes that look like normal brogues, but still pack steel toecaps and mid-soles.