* Posts by Chris King

1153 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Feb 2009

Big blues: IBM's remote-worker crackdown is company-wide, including its engineers

Chris King

USMC: We want more F-35s per year than you Limeys will get in half a decade

Chris King

Stealing our watches to tell us the time ?

"In the meantime, the seven British-owned aircraft are being used on flight and weapons trials"

Hang on, are you saying we're paying top dollar for these planes, AND paying for the privilege of getting part-worn airframes once the Yanks finish their testing ?

Sounds like we're "mummy" in this contract, and "daddy" doesn't care if we've got a headache.

Intel Atom chips have been dying for at least 18 months – only now is truth coming to light

Chris King

SuperMicro quoted 7 years availabilty for their C2000 boards.

Chris King

That's why I was cynical of JP's responses in yesterday's article.

"We're looking into it" would have been plenty good enough for me, but "take a ticket" sounds more like a delaying tactic, especially if they don't seem to have answers.

I've made sure that everything on my DS1815+ is backed up elsewhere - I've gone from "happy camper" to "Can I even trust the tin ?" in the space of 24 hours, and I'm probably not alone on that score.

Intel's Atom C2000 chips are bricking products – and it's not just Cisco hit

Chris King

"How many board manufacturers state the stepping/revision number of any chip that is fitted to a particular board?"

Most manufacturers who sold Z68 motherboards made a big song-and-dance about having B3-stepping chipsets, because B2 had SATA controllers that failed in a short time. Hey, sounds familiar ! (Just sayin'...)

Chris King
Mushroom

Re: Uh oh

Dear JP

Posting boilerplate messages to random threads doesn't inspire me with confidence in Synology's approach to this problem.

Right now, I've got a shiny DS1815+ that's humming along very nicely, but I'd really like to know if this thing has one of affected processors so I can plan accordingly. I understand that RAID Is Not Backup, so losing access to my storage won't hurt me, but it will make my life less convenient.

This is an inherent fault in manufacture of a component, identified by the manufacturer of that component. I'd really like to know what Synology (and other manufacturers who are reading this discussion - CK) are going to do to rectify it.

If your attitude is "we'll wait for your kit to die, then we'll replace it" then your box is going back to where I bought it from - and I will make very sure that anyone who asks me for advice on buying a NAS knows that.

Toodle Pip,

CK

Chris King
FAIL

Re: Uh oh

Double jeopardy for me... "If my 1815+ crashes, no worries, stuff is available elsewhere in verified backups. I can always build myself a U-NAS box as a replacement and I've got just the motherbo-oh crap, it's a C2758 !"

Seems 2016 was not a great year for hardware purchases for the home lab.

Chris King

Re: Uh oh

pfSense also sell boxes based on C2358/C2758 processors.

UK uni KCL spunks IT budget on 'reputation management' after IT disaster headlines

Chris King
Facepalm

Re: Reputation Management

"I've been informed that the guy responsible is no longer with RiskEye too, although the firm didn't explain why"

Aww, did they have to hire another reputation management service to deal with that incident ?

Global drug-dealing cyber crime web was centred on ... Aberdovey

Chris King

NUMBER FOUR CARTRIDGE ! *BOOM*

I know it's a Farcebook link, but scroll down the page for the trailer.

It was produced by the team behind "Judge Minty" and it's going to premiere at the 40 Years of Thrill-Power Festival on Feb 11th.

P.S.

Big chunks of the Cursed Earth scenes in "Judge Minty" were shot in Llanberis.

Please come back! TalkTalk woos customers with broadband offers

Chris King

"TT Residential often gets a kicking..."

And rightly so.

It's cheap, bandwidth is massively over-subscribed, they filter and throttle everybody, and the tech support is frankly a nightmare. I've lost count of the number of times friends/colleagues asked me to sit in on support calls to act as "designated grown-up" or "bullshit filter".

I can't comment on their Business offerings as I've never dealt with TT Business directly, but their Wholesale offerings (resold by other ISP's) aren't bad at all. I've got a AAISP Home::1 1Tb line on TalkTalk - apart from a few minor blips, it has been a consistent 70Mbit down/20Mbit up, rock-solid and runs at full tilt whatever time of day I choose to use it. No filtering, no "bandwidth management", and no peak time slow-downs - it's a VERY different beast to the miserable TT Retail experience.

Judge allows plan for Intel to reanimate McAfee. The brand, we mean

Chris King

Toxic branding

If anyone slapped the McAfee brand name on a security product, that act of stupidity alone would make me think twice about even evaluating it, let alone purchasing it.

Counter-terror cops arrest pair for sending poo-smeared toilet paper to public figures

Chris King

"All rolled up on a cardboard tube?"

"Executive Orders, Please Take One" ?

Naughty sysadmins use dark magic to fix PCs for clueless users

Chris King

Re: Technomagic

http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff300/fv00255.htm

Chris King

The Exorcist

Similar story to GlenP's, and the user was in a pretty rotten mood when I turned up.

I reckoned that the monitor needed a good, sharp knock to fix the wobbles, and the user was in need of a good laugh.

"The Power of Chris compels you !" *light tap*

"The Power of Chris compels you !!" *not-so-light tap*

"THE POWER OF CHRIS COMPELS YOU !!!" *whack*

The picture's now steady as a rock, and the user's laughing like crazy.

Sometimes, you have to fix the wetware as well as the hardware and software...

Linux nasty kicks weak, hacked gadgets when they're already down

Chris King

"Satanic Socks"

Has someone been rifling through my laundry basket ?

Oh, the things Vim could teach Silicon Valley's code slingers

Chris King

Re: As a long-time Vim user (since 2005 or so)

Next thing you know, you'll be praising TECO, and I shall have to call the police.

(This is where we need a "Get off my lawn, young whippersnappers" icon)

Annoyingly precocious teen who ruined Trek is now an asteroid

Chris King

Are you sure you're not referring to the adult version ?

The version that also makes goofy faces whenever someone punches him ?

Chris King

Re: And Picard is now a turd

"Make it po, Number One"

IT team sent dirt file to Police as they all bailed from abusive workplace

Chris King

This of course assumes that the company officially recognises the union that you have joined:

https://www.gov.uk/trade-union-recognition-employers/overview

The more slimy companies usually set up a "Staff Association" instead, usually filled with sycophants. They're fantastic for organising staff jollies and discounts, but they'll probably throw you under the bus or look the other way as soon as you hit a problem with management.

BT installs phone 'spam filter', says it'll strain out mass cold-callers

Chris King

Re: "huge computing power"

"Of course we know who these people are - we kept the receipts !"

Chris King

Re: A Typical Scam Call I Get

I prefer to wind them up, especially the ones pretending to be "tech support" or pretending to be from my bank.

Hey, they're trying to commit fraud by deception, so why should I care if my unique style of "professional unpleasantness" leaves them upset and annoyed ? They're criminals and they deserve an ulcer or two.

Chris King

Re: A Typical Scam Call I Get

I used to wind up the "Had an accident at work ?" mob by pretending to have amnesia as a result of my slip, trip or whatever caused me to bang my head. "Coo ! The brain damage alone must be worth MILLIONS !"

TV anchor says live on-air 'Alexa, order me a dollhouse' – guess what happens next

Chris King

Re: Alexa!

"Order me 17 tons of nitrogen fertilizer, a copy of the Quran and a complete set of Tek Wars by William Shatner."

The first two might get you put on a watch list, the third will almost certainly get you sectioned for your own safety.

Chris King

Re: @ Lee D

I can't even get "OK Google" to function, though I admit my accent is a little screwed (I'm from Yorkshire, so it's quite deep, but was mainly raised by my Irish nan, so picked up talking at speed, which is fine if you're a high pitched Irish person, but not if you're low pitched Yorkshiremen).

Why am I now imagining Compo from "Last of the Summer Wine" walking up to one of these things and saying "ey'oop Google !" ?

Chris King

Re: Life imitating Dilbert

Ninety-Nine ! Ninety-Nine ! Ninety-Nine ! (Jump to 54 seconds if this link doesn't take you there)

Chris King

Blakes 7 and Microsoft

Before they shut down Xbox Studio, there were plans for a new series...

Zen: STATE COURSE AND SPEED

Blake: Alpha Cygni, Standard by Four

Zen: CONFzzzZZZzzzTtttt

Avon: Zen's showing the Red Ring of Death again. Vila, it's your turn to call tech support.

Vila: Why is it ALWAYS me ?

Avon: Because you're the only one of us stupid enough to sound like they need tech support. Get dialling !

Bank robber reveals identity – by using his debit card during crime

Chris King

Nothing new here

I remember some idiot ordering very dodgy videos from overseas using a credit card registered to his halls of residence address, nearly twenty years ago. I won't go into too much detail about the material, child "actors" were involved and NOT in a good way.

The package was intercepted in transit, and an undercover police operation was launched to catch said idiot when he went to collect it from the local sorting office.

3... 2...1... and 123-Reg hit by DDoSers. Again

Chris King

Re: I'm with 123reg

+1 for Mythic Beasts - but some folks consider them to be "too expensive". Usually the same people moaning that their 99p-a-year or ad-supported services are on the blink YET again.

Yorkshire council hit with prolonged web outage

Chris King

Re: Star Trek Logic

"Must be those bloody dilithium crystals again..."

Shame the web site's down, I'd like to know if they go in the black bin or recycling.

Christmas Eve ERP migration derailed by silly spreadsheet sort

Chris King

AST Premium 386

First PC I used in anger, and this particular one was a real rage-inducer.

Damn thing almost caught fire on three occasions, and spent lots of time in transit between work and AST.

In the end, it turned out to be a local problem - the site had metalwork and automotive workshops, and the local substation was pumping out a much higher voltage than normal. Certain parts of the site were receiving mains peaking at almost 270V AC ! Once this was corrected, the workshop boys complained that their furnaces took longer to warm up of a morning, but no more PC's went bang.

Support chap's Sonic Screwdriver fixes PC as user fumes in disbelief

Chris King
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Mmmm.. Pies...

"You know that bit in the untouchables when De Niro has the baseball bat..."

Nice thought, but mopping up all that blood and snot wouldn't have been fair on the cleaners.

Chris King
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Mmmm.. Pies...

"Was that back in the days when a keyboard cost more than a week's pay?"

Sadly not, but it still cost more than an undergrad could pay comfortably towards the end of term.

Chris King
Pint

Nice one, "Baker" !

Fixing the problem AND winding up a "problem" user in a way he can't touch you for !

Chris King

Re: How I miss CRT's

"Growing up is not something to be proud of".

Growing OLD is something we can't avoid.

Growing UP, now that's something some of us never quite managed.

Chris King

Mmmm.. Pies...

Ahhh, there's nothing like rolling out a lab of shiny new PC's, and watching as the first batch of users comes in to "christen" them.

I pop out to the gents, and someone is in the stall downloading some rather pungent brownware. This friend of humanity finishes his ablutions, walks out without washing his hands, and heads straight to my lab full of new shinies.

If that isn't bad enough, he pulls something out of his bag... A (now-lukewarm) pie from the Spar, and proceeds to eat it over a brand-new keyboard.

I instantly decide that the dirty interloper and his flaky (pastry) sidekick have outstayed their welcome...

"Excuse me, are you illiterate, blind or just plain stupid ?!"

"What's the problem ?"

"You're EATING A PIE right under a sign that says 'NO FOOD OR DRINK TO BE CONSUMED IN THIS LAB' !"

"That's right, I am !"

He then eats the pie in the messiest, noisiest way possible (think Cookie Monster - Omnomnomnom), dropping gravy and bits of pastry all over the keyboard, then logs out and walks out leaving a huge trail of pastry flakes in his wake. The only way he could have made matters worse would have been to lickthe gravy off the keyboard.

A four-week ban and a bill for a new keyboard rapidly wiped the smile off his face.

Did webcam 'performer' offer support chap payment in kind?

Chris King
Holmes

Re: At a FE college...

One guy used to brows certain porn sites in Lynx... On a VMS box. He never downloaded anything, but apparently just got off on the text.

Why does Skype only show me from the chin down?

Chris King
Pint

Re: Incompetent admins and migration saboteurs

"I know more about the LISP memory model than any sane sysadmin should".

There isn't enough mind bleach in the world to erase the mental scars that LISP, Prolog and Poplog can inflict. Thank goodness for alcohol !

Chris King

As I've said previously, the young 'uns can keep their Cat5-O'Nine Tails, a vampire tap on the end of a piece of 10Base5 delivers way more blunt force trauma !

Chris King
Pint

Re: Ethernet fan out

"Why have you got 7 downvotes? Is this a taboo subject".

Rough crowd, or too many folks not downing enough of these to forget -->

Chris King

Incompetent admins and migration saboteurs

Last job had 'em both - mostly "senior" academics.

My predecessor had been sacked 18 months before (I'd have to tell that tale as AC as the circumstances were fairly unique and quite spectacular), and during that time a procession of individuals had helped out running things...

Including a senior academic who had managed to weasel his way in to privileged access on several systems. Can you say "personal fiefdom", children ?

This individual came to give me the "Do you know who I am ?" routine when I changed all the superuser passwords and locked him out. He took this to be a declaration of war, and questioned EVERY decision I made from that point, until his boss told him to shut up and let me get on with what they paid me to do.

He also tried the "migration saboteur" routine on a number of upgrades, at one point even trying to set up a "secure" intranet for senior management on his personal workstation. You guessed it, security by obscurity and no authentication whatsoever.

HE folks will also be familiar with the concept of the "central compute server" - usually some crusty old VMS or proprietary Unix box that's been around since the early days of the IT service. Even if you can provide better alternatives for everything it offers, people get very fond and possessive of such old systems, and decommissioning can be a nightmare. Especially when the senior profs start pulling rank and send complaints up the management chain. Last one of those took me the best part of a year to kill (the server that is, not the profs), despite the fact that most of the profs who wanted to carry on using it had *laptops* with more compute power at their disposal.

Admittedly, Pine 1.ancient was still a nicer UI than the Lotus Notes client, but let's be honest, that's not difficult.

Chris King

Re: Ethernet fan out

*boggle*

With (nine ?) ports on a DELNI, that's a LOT of thick-wire - how did you get all that in the cab, given the bend radius of that stuff ?

One thing's for certain - I wouldn't want to touch that either, unless I had DELNI's ready to replace it !

It's round and wobbles, but madam, it's a mouse pad, not a floppy disk

Chris King

Right hole, but two into one does not go...

Mentioned in a previous On-Call, but worth a repeat...

One of the technicians gets called out to deal with a weird problem... User had put a CD in his DVD drive, but he was still seeing the contents of the previous CD he'd been using.

Oh, and the CD he'd just put in must have been too thick, because it took several attempts to slam the drive shut and is was making some god-awful grinding noises.

Turns out he hadn't removed the first CD, and had put the second one in on top of it.

The drive had to be taken out and dismantled to remove the CD's.

Sysadmin 'fixed' PC by hiding it on a bookshelf for a few weeks

Chris King

Re: Symon

"Emergency Repair Procedure Number 1."

"You kicked it?"

"Yep"

Just remember to wipe the boot print off it before handing it back !

Chris King

Re: @Chris King, re: intimidation tactics.

It's more fun when you can do it with nothing more than a few well-chosen words.

I find "Play nice, or I'll take you to PC World for WEEE disposal" works a treat - and I don't even need to carry a hammer !

Chris King

Re: deja vu

Soon they'll start asking "Are we there yet?" after every 2 miles.

In which case, take them past the nearest WEEE facility and a couple of waste disposal sites, and make sure they get a long, hard look.

"Why yes, we're nearly THERE !"

'So sorry' Evernote rips up privacy changes

Chris King

Could a robot vacuum cleaner monitor your data centre?

Chris King

Re: The clue is in the name

"It's called HomeView, not OfficeView, and certainly not DataCenterView. Just don't do it."

If it sets off the alarms, the security guys will probably give it a kicking and flip it onto its back. That's what ours apparently did when someone tried using a Roomba in one suite overnight.

Microsoft quietly emits patch to undo its earlier patch that broke Windows 10 networking

Chris King

Re: ,So there's an online fix for not being able to get online?

It didn't work for one machine I tested. Looking at my DHCP server logs, it was getting halfway through the "DORA" cycle (Discover, Offer, Request, Accept).

The client shouted out for a server, the server answered back, but then the client clamped its hands over its ears while singing "la-la-la, I can't hear you" and self-assigned itself a 169.254 address.

Not such much "DORA", more "DOH" (Discover, Offer, Hard-of-hearing).

Learn your way round the Internet of Things in a day? Course you can...

Chris King

Re: Wow...

0.00009 seconds - that long, huh ?

Looking at some of the "bag-of-spanners" embedded and IoT systems I've encountered previously, I find myself wondering if the developers even got a day of training before being set to work !