* Posts by Evil Auditor

2619 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Jan 2009

BOFH: It's DANGEROUS to go alone. Take THIS

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What a luxury!

Another Friday, another BOFH. Thank you, Simon.

Chinese iPhone thief returns SIM, contact list to rightful owner

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Don't forget, most criminals aren't very intelligent.

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"periodically back up any important data stored on the device"

No. Simply don't store any important data on a mobile device.

I know, it's not that simple, but as a principle I only put (important) data on my mobile that already is stored in safe place somewhere else.

NSA spied on 'radicalisers' porn surfing so as to discredit them, reveals Snowden

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Re: The old adage...

Make love as if everybody is.

Only if you have some exhibitionist traits.

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Halal porn

Don't see any hypocrites here as I'm sure it was halal porn they were watching.

But what the fuck is online promiscuity?

Badges for Commentards

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Silver badgery

Though I hit the 2k already but maybe some of my AC rants got more upvotes than I thought ;-)

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Re: opposable thumbs @Hungry Sean

I ain't Spartacus,

you aren't funny - It seems that some commentards simply don't do humour. There are posts (not only mine) which I believe cannot be mistaken as a serious contribution. Truth is, they can and are.

Also saying anything critical about Apple tends to fire up the votes, in both directions.

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Happy

Re: Sheesh!

I ain't Spartacus,

Not only that but Someone Else should have told us upfront of his surgery plans and, of course, where and when it was going to take place. So, someone else would have had the chance to hack and fiddle the surgery schedule, changing both the surgeon to someone else and the planned operation. And now Someone Else would instead of having a new knee be missing at least his/her testicles/boobs. That way Someone Else would not only have posted witty comments but also passively created a totally IT-related story for El Reg and thereby contributed to someone else's living and many else's entertainment.

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Re: opposable thumbs @Hungry Sean

I agree that the thumbs serve a purpose - but which purpose? Do I thumb-down a comment because I don't agree with it or because it is rubbish? Personally, I hardy thumb-down a post unless, eg it's inflammatory and humourless, even if I agree with it. Then there seem to be people around who thumb-down a comment simply because it was posted by jake.

However inconsistently they are used, I don't think we should get rid of the thumbs. The only bad thing was to insert the three top comments below the article which was a kind of thumbs-up machine. But El Reg got rid of this long ago.

The badges though, well, I addressed my reservations already earlier on. Btw, is the silver badge awarded automatically?

HP’s ENORMO-SLAB: The Slate 21 MONSTER tablet

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VESA mount

Is it a sign of old age that when reading VESA I first think of their out-of-date but mighty Local Bus?

iCan't quite hear you: Apple teams up with Danish firm to make hearing aids

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I'd be quite happy if Apple produced a mobile phone which wouldn't need a freaking hearing aid to understand the counterpart. (Disclaimer: I have an iPhone 4, later ones might be better.) Seriously, the Nokia 6210 from year 2000 has a better sound quality.

Why Microsoft absolutely DOESN'T need its own Steve Jobs

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Managing changes starts with dissatisfaction

Trevor, I couldn't agree more. But I thinks it's worth mentioning that the first thing in managing changes is making the people dissatisfied with the current situation. While this is probably part of manage [...] people's rational thoughts, their emotions, and their environment it is a very important step on its own.

Dissatisfaction can already be there, eg due to a clumsy UI, or it needs to be created first, eg with exposing the users to much better (competitors' or own) UIs. The problem Microsoft had and still has is that a lot of keyboard/mouse users were/are quite happy with the Windows 95 et seqq. interface. For example, speaking of Office, while in my opinion it was never perfect (Open Office provided a more logical menu structure than MS Office 2003), it was good enough to work efficiently. Dissatisfaction started with the ribbons. I know, some people like them, I don't. After quite some time with the "ribbon Office" I still lose considerable time just trying to find some commands.

So, the dissatisfaction - for keyboard/mouse users - started with the new product, being it ribbons or Windows 8 tiles. It would be a perfect situation for a competitor. Problem is, there is none.

Undercover BBC man exposes Amazon worker drone's daily 11-mile trek

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Re: Temp work

I don't think that anybody actually wants 1.2 Astras. It's more like they have £2 jobs or work for amazon and can't afford a proper car. Or did you mean they wanted one Astra and 20% of another one? Then yes, shoot 'em!

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@hokum

Thank you for the clarification. Well, I didn't take damian Kelly's comment very seriously*. That's why it made me smile. I don't and probably never will know damian Kelly's real attitude towards this topic. But if something looks like irony and smells like irony is probably is irony.

*And neither should you mine. Although part of my day job is to piss people off.

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Joke

AC 14:19 GMT, either your iPad is dyslexic or it found a way to increase its otherwise unincreasable memory.

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Devil

hokum,

I do agree with you that damial Kelly probably didn't cover the subject at hand in a holistic manner. But after your last sentence I wonder: is this a sign of frustration because you didn't pay enough attention at school?

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Devil

Re: Is this a story?

And you save the subscription for the gym.

SILENCE of the OWLS may mean real-life 'Whisper Mode' for Black Helicopters

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Re: Owls are quiet...

True! Maybe feeding owl into an owl-shaped blade jet engine would solve that problem as well? If we run out of owls I'd suggest ostriches - that would surely silence most jet engines.

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Black Helicopters

Re: A quieter helicopter?

Crisp, did you ever consider stop engaging in criminal activities so that police choppers won't have a need to circle over you place?

What I wondered though, several times while living nearby, what military choppers (ie WAH-64) were doing over the Isle of Dogs. Were/are you living there?

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Devil

Re: Owls are quiet...

ForthIsNotDead, don't be such a cynic! We only need to create owl wing shaped blades for the compressor and turbine and, hey presto, we have a silent jet engine. Too difficult? Alternatively, we try feeding owls into jet engines and see whether their feathers settle at the right place to create the desired outcome.

Dry, cold and volatile: How to survive Mars, and your fellow crew

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I knew all my endless hours of Doom training were not for nothing.

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Re: Radiation issues can be addressed.....

Isn't there an area in Russia (or former USSR) with a naturally high radiation level, which does not pose any problem for its residents? They, allegedly, have adopted to the radiation through evolutionary selection.

Breed with them - there's anyway enough time till a manned mars mission is ready - and send the offspring.

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Re: Mental health

There I make a light hearted comment about the impossibility to find suitable travellers and you're going all serious! ;-)

Seriously, I agree with you, Lee D. But I believe even Scott, with his untested material, didn't think he would die. Mars on the other hand...well, once there is some habitable space there, why not...

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Re: I honestly don't see the point

The point? Getting there only to find the remains of an ancient civilisation who set out to move to earth because their own planet was bloody cold and hostile. Now that is what I'd call irony.

Other valid points are because we can (although not yet) or for the fun of it. That's sufficient reason for me.

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Mental health

I didn't sign up for Mars although the prospect of going there sounds terribly cool (and I don't mean just the temperature). But I would seriously question the mental health of everyone (including me) wanting to go there on such a suicide trip.

US senator asks: Will Bitcoin replace Swiss bank accounts?

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Re: Bitcoin and gold

I don't see the link between the anonymity of bitcoin and identifying contributions to campaign funds. If someone wants to keep his contribution anonymous there are other options, such as cash. Frankly, I don't know the regulation about campaign funds in detail. But in my opinion it should be the campaign to keep track of who it's contributors are and not the value transfer system.

I am aware that certain countries know limitations in trading otherwise freely tradeable goods. This, however, doesn't invalidate my point.

I agree with your scepticism on ETFs - I had and still have the same reservations. When I compare the risks and costs of holding gold physically with risks and costs of ETF the latter was favourable to me. The bank that holds my portfolio with the gold certificates is independent of the bank that issued said ETFs. The issuing bank is required to hold the equivalent of physical gold in its own premises (in a small country in the middle of western Europe) and in the unlikely case of the banks default my certificates should still give me access to my part of the physical gold. On the other hand holding gold physically bears the risk of it being stolen or lost and/or comes with the costs of transportation and secure storage.

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Re: Off line

@AC 16:31 GMT

More and more countries inflict restrictions on cross-boarder cash transfers. A bunch of bank notes, while it still happens, is definitely not a good choice (ask e.g. Cornelius Gurlitt - and he didn't even exceed the legal limit), it's too easily detectable. Diamonds are much more compact than cash, can safely be swallowed or rather easily hidden otherwise. So yes, you can pass airport security with a pocket full of diamonds - given they don't bulge your trousers - or alternatively, a stomach/rectum full of them. Changing them into cash is, despite the controls on conflict diamonds not really a problem. Either your diamonds may indeed have a certificate of origin - after all, you're not trading in diamonds but merely transporting wealth - or if they don't, you only have to know the right people. Or do you believe all the certificates of origin are genuine?

But I agree, transporting large amounts of money is easier with bitcoin. It comes with the risk of volatility though, probably a higher volatility than currencies or diamonds.

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Anonymisation?

What's the problem with anonymisation of money? Anyway, this you can achieve rather easily without bitcoin. The problem starts when you want to legitimatise dirty money. Can bitcoin do that?

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Jeff should only worry if he hasn't, like all the others, closed his Swiss bank account long ago and moved money to much calmer places in the Caribbean. Or, for example, what does the USA do against "financial practices" in Delaware? That would probably be my place of choice for hiding/laundering money - not being a US citizen I'd be safe from the USA and having the money within the USA also safe from all other countries.

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Re: Yes, HSBC Bank.................

@AC 16:25 GMT

it is reasonable to regulate the use of a currency.

Why? With bitcoin we are not talking about a currency that is closely interlinked with the economy of a country or area as are $, £, € etc and therefore needs regulation. Bitcoin could be more accurately compared to gold. Gold is freely tradeable and has, besides jewellery and some industrial niche use, no inherent value.

The only real difference is that gold is tangible, bitcoin isn't. Although all the gold I personally own is in 100% gold-backed ETFs, not tangible at all - and freely tradeable.

It surely is valid to ask the questions of those politicians. But the concerns they (and others) have originate in bitcoin being unknown. And alien is potentially dangerous.

Rogue trader gets 2½ years for BILLION-dollar Apple share plot

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Re: Fucking idiot

I completely agree.

In 15 years in the financial industry I've learned something (among other things;-). If there appears to be a possibility of making some quick dosh, no matter how small this may be, there is at least someone stupid enough to risk his (not always but mostly "his") career for it. Chasing fraudsters is not just a hobby of mine ;-)

Ballmer: Microsoft stronger without Bing and Xbox tinkering

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Re: Bing?

Well played, Steve Knox.

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Devil

The first known ape to speak at all you do not expect to speak flawlessly.

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Trollface

Bing?

Bing needs to be spun off...

What the heck is Bing?

Brit graphene maker poised to go public: Yes, wonder stuff WILL float

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Happy

Re: to IPO

Frumious Bandersnatch,

This isn't school. Starting a sentence with And can be acceptable. Whether it was in mine, I leave others to judge.

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Re: to IPO

frank ly,

Good point! And good I'm not a hack ;-)

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Stop

to IPO

Last time I checked, IPO wasn't a verb. And even if it was by now, seriously, will IPO or IPOing would still look vomit inducing horribly wrong.

(Is there no grammar Nazi icon?)

Post-Profit Prophet RUSSELL BRAND is the HUMBLE CHRIST of STARTUPS

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Re: "Costs are no longer tied to the ebb and flow of market revenue"

disgruntled yank,

Your summary doesn't quite match Bell's text but at least it totally makes sense!

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Re: "there must be a deficit"

I was probably a bit too brief. It's not profits that lead to deficits (one of which would be unemployment). It is the system that enables profit-making companies to exist that, as a downside, also enables deficits (deficit in a general meaning - don't know what Brand meant). Such deficits can be companies closing down, going bankrupt, laid off staff, unemployed people etc.

If you know of a sustainable economic system that allows for privat profits without any deficits please let me know, I'd be very curious to hear about that. So far, I believe with capitalism it's like what Churchill said about democracy...

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WTF?

"Costs are no longer tied to the ebb and flow of market revenue"

I'm lost. Can't remember when costs were tied to market revenue. I've read Bell's article. Still can't make sense of it. Well, the more you sell, the more (or more expensive) journalists you can afford (i.e. higher costs) at the same profit margin. But in which way tied?

Anyhow, I still believe one of the most accurate descriptions of journalism was given by Thompson: there is no objective journalism. (Referring to Bell's text.)

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"there must be a deficit"

As of what Brand says (can't watch the video), I think he is right in the sense of profit-making in a capitalist system. Capitalism provides the opportunity to create wealth. The cost of this is, there are losers, too, i.e. those in the labour market with obsolete skills. That's why we have social benefits. Seems to work quite well (compared to other systems).

MANUAL STIMULATION: Whack me with some proper documentation

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Stop

Skype

I don't use many "apps" on mobile phones. Unfortunately, skype is one of the few. Not only is its fucking user interface near incomprehensible but also fucking different on two different phones. How difficult must it be to fuck up a GUI for such a simple fucking application?!

(Sorry for the use of f-words. But I know how to develop software, testing, usability labs etc. And not just from reading books. It makes me fucking angry to see such rubbish.)

Vladimir PUTIN officially HARDER than CHUCK NORRIS

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Joke

Norris can't get the ninth-degree black belt

...because the ninth-degree black belt self-evaporated in fear of Norris.

BOFH: One flew over the PFY's nest

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Devil

Yes yes, but what happened to putting them on the good ol' Scientology mailing list?

SCIENCE and RELIGION AGREE! LIFE and Man ARE from CLAY

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Life formed in clay?

If that happened at the beginning of life, shouldn't we be able to observe that nowadays as well? Is clay (and all other things) already too much "polluted" with life?

Could Doctor Who really bump into human space dwellers?

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Answers?

Rather than providing travellers with a set of answers to possible questions they should be equipped with the means to solve problems on their own, both intellectually and physically.

Traveller to Earth: "vital modul xyz broke. Please send replacement!" - "Sure, it takes 1 year to produce and 3 years to send. By the time it arrives you all dead." Alternative answers: "parlament cancelled the budged", "what?! Leyland Yutani went bust. Sorry.", "disaster broke and destroyed most of civilization. Over and out."

Anyway, having a small group of people locked up together almost indefinitely... How are the odds that they will kill each other sooner or later? (Rather than proper astronauts I'm thinking about volunteers such as wanted for Mars mission. The BigBrother type of volunteer...)

Have you reinstalled Windows yet? No, I just want to PRINT THIS DAMN PAGE

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Tom7,

You forgot to mention that in those days printer didn't refuse to print because, allegedly, they were fucking refilling the toner cartridge themselves! Not that it works, not that it actually does anything in this time or, heaven forbid, that I believed it does. But it stops printing for 15 minutes and then it's still running out of toner.

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Re: Cats = Fleas = cat turds on the lawn

I can't follow how this cat thing came up, but you're absolutely right, Blitterbug. I can't stand cats, I hate them. The more that the neighbours' cats crapped on my lawn. Got a cat on our own (which I adore, btw), problem solved. It's that simple - no more turd on our lawn.