* Posts by Evil Auditor

2624 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Jan 2009

Google guru: Android doesn't have malware, it has Potentially Harmful Applications™ instead

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FAIL

Malware

It's bloody simple, isn't it? Malware is software on my device that does something without my (implicit or explicit) consent.

Google is probably trying to pull the users up their own reality distortion hole. Problem is, not many will care...

LOHAN unleashes 'waiting for the FAA' collector mug

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Trollface

Re: 2nd picture of dark haired woman

"lovely young lady"?

All I saw was the absence of a proper boffin's pipe.

We need copyright reform so Belgians can watch cricket, says MEP

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Trollface

Re: Do not

I have great sympathy for not watching any sport on TV. But Tom Maddox, you are totally wrong. Cricket is through and through sports. I'd even argue it's the very definition of sport. It's peaceful, it's relaxed, it's about drinking tea. What else do you need.

Can't understand how any sweaty, straining, overexerting torture can possibly be regarded as sport.

Boffins brew up FIRST CUPPA in SPAAACE using wireless energy (well, sort of)

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Challenges?

"There are a number of challenges to overcome, such as how to send huge structures into space, how to construct them and how to maintain them."

"and how not to fry world and dog"?

Amazon tries to patent 3D printers on trucks

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Re: Good things come to those who wait...

Interesting it is indeed. (Actually not so much...) For example IBM has been providing mobile data centres for years - containers on trucks, full of full racks and power generators, delivered to your door step. I wonder if they ever filed a patent for mobile computing.

I'm not so much questioning Amazon's idea, but much more this being patentable.

Facebook meets Belgian minister: PLEASE, sir, NOT THE PROBE

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Trollface

Re send them back from whence they came

I think they came from Britain, before Australia was invented. (Being blissfully ignorant of any historical facts)

Seriously, they can't be banned because they are to us what Elbonia is to Scott Adams.

For pity's sake, you fool! DON'T UPGRADE it will make it worse

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Devil

Decaff soya latte

People who drink this piss hardly deserve any better.

Seriously, I think a lot of us have been there (i.e. update hell, not soya latte). And likely will be again. I wonder when the age of proper IT starts...

Don't touch me up there! Photoshop creator appeals for 'ethical' use

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Re: Marketing/advertising have no ethic, so asking for ethical use is useless...

@Ragarath, I don't agree with you. When I take a portrait, my subject wouldn't be very happy if I left this or that ugly pimple in their face. So I eliminate it or at least tone it down. Is that a lie? You may say so, but no one likes to look at an unpleasant picture, much less so of themselves.

But it doesn't start at post production. Already the way the lighting is set up for taking the picture, to emphasis or attenuate certain features, isn't that a lie, too? I can only guess that you would agree with me that we're not required to only take portraits in harsh front light but can use lighting creatively. So, if someone has an unfavourable feature, I try to set pose and light up to make it look better. And with unfavourable feature and look better I mean in the perception of the model/client.

While some "faults", e.g. a difficult waistline, are easier to "correct" with setting up the shot, others, such as a spot in the face, are easier to "correct" in post-production. Both are "lies". Where is the ethical limit?

Check the terms of reputable press photo agencies, they have stringent conditions - you may change exposure and negligible features (e.g. dust on the lens). For me, with regard to post-production, I wouldn't touch a waistline or double chin etc. But I do "correct" minor, temporary features, like a spot on the nose (not for press though). The limit is that I don't change a material feature of the photo.

Hello Barbie: Hang on, this Wi-Fi doll records your child's voice?

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Devil

I'm not so worried about the children...

But think of all the guys buying barbies and filling ToyTalk's servers with filthy talk! Poor servers... And don't tell me it's just me having this idea.

Boffins baffled by the glowing 'plumes' of MARS

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Devil

Where's amanfrommars, we need you!

Be careful what you wish for...

In praise of China’s CROONING censors: Company songs NOW!

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WTF?

Company song

Back in the early noughties my then employer, one of the large professional services firms, produced a company song with their staff singing. While I elegantly excused myself from the recording event, even more than ten years later this song sometimes is still haunting me.

Now I took two or three minutes to browse through IBM's songbook. This is outright creepy! If it was my company, I'd immediately fire any employee coming up with such obnoxious arse licking of the highest order.

At least now I don't feel so bad about the company song I had to endure. Thank you, Alistair.

You'll NEVER guess who has bought I Taught Taylor Swift How To Give Head dot-com

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Trollface

Going to register...

taylorswifttakethatbit.ch

It's not the cloud: The problem lies between the chair and the computer – Gartner

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Business need

"...agile clouds need agile processes – and processes aren’t changing for the more on-demand, service-oriented world..."

If I understand this correctly, most of the private clouds fail because it was decided to "go cloud" for the sake of cloud and not because there was any business need.

Skin colour's irrelevant. Just hire competent folk on their merits, FFS

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Devil

Re: Positive discrimination ...

AC, you forgot to mention that you're the local KKK branch.

Amazing, cool, wow: Humans naturally use POSITIVE words, and that is GOOD

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Devil

"always look on the bright side of life"

So do I! Using positive language all the time.

You haven't seen my dark side...

World's mega-rich tax dodge exposed: Meet the HSBC IT bloke at the heart of damning leak

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Re: Appropriate

"There was no need to report his concerns to management. He needed to go right to the appropriate legal authorities."

Actually, there is. As far as I can see, HSBC didn't break any Swiss laws. And even if it did, he would have first needed to raise his concerns with management, if he wanted to avoid legal troubles in Switzerland. Unless a whistle-blower really tried to report an issue internally, it would look rather bad in front of the court and Swiss judges would probably regard it as breach of trading secrecy.

Watch it: It's watching you as you watch it (Your Samsung TV is)

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Re: So far, so unsettling

@Christian Berger, I'm glad to hear that. Unfortunately, around here mostly it's "oh, I have nothing to hide..." Alternatively it can also be "I prefer to receive personalised ads" or "if it's for better security..." and also the resigned "they collect these data anyway".

With only a few exceptions.

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Alert

So far, so unsettling

But the real worry is, most people, even if they bothered to read such a privacy policy, wouldn't be concerned at all.

At the third beep, the Atomic Clock will be 60 ... imprecisely

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Trollface

AC, I couldn't agree more! Especially with wind turbines; it's obvious that they slow down the wind. And what happens when the wind gets too slow? As every* pilot knows, when it gets too slow the earth will stall. And then we all die.

*Maybe not every pilot, but even Trans Asia is now making sure that their pilots know.

Plane crash blamed on in-flight SELFIES

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Coat

Camel? Pup?

If you look closely, I'm sure you'll find that there's a lot more different than just their tails. Heck! About everything is different! Except both are, usually, covered in a hide. But what this got to do with an plane crash? So far I only knew about flying pigs...

scnr

Zoinks! Is that Mystery Machine Apple's SELF-DRIVING FAMILY WAGON? You decide

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Coat

A self-driving car?

You're holding it wrong!

LICKED: Behold my TOAD-PROOF ERECTION, boasts Aussie boffin

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Yes yes, get rid of those toads! But can we first get a first-hand testimonial of one of those Aussie toad lickers, whether it's worth the licking? There must be some among El Reg commentards...

An enquiring mind needs to know.

O2 notifies data cops 'for courtesy' ... AFTER El Reg intervenes in email phish dustup

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Devil

Why do you believe that O2 leaked or sold the data? It's maybe part of their own business case to generate more profit...

Then again, it's very likely that they leaked and sold, too.

National Lottery website goes TITSUP again

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Happy

Re: I dreamt the Lotto numbers once

And what on earth made you believe that in the insanity of a dream you would come up with "better" numbers than else?

(Yes, I would've done the same...)

Virtual Vulture 2 swoops into Spaceport America

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Real-life testing?

Are you going to test the autopilot also IRL? I mean before the full-blown LOHAN takeoff.

Not sure if I would though, as it puts the Vulture 2 at quite a risk...

Is it humanly possible to watch Gigli and Battlefield Earth back-to-back?

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FAIL

Re: Two on the list are the worst.. one, maybe not.

Phew... I watched only one film on that list but I've seen some real shit, where in comparison Highlander 2* could be considered "good". Now I can only guess how bad the rest of those worst must be...

*Renegade Version

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Re: Adam Sandler

For me he's a seal of quality for stinkers. I'm not going to waste my time on another Sandler flick.

Microsoft wants LAMP for wireless mobe charger

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FAIL

That seems like a clever solution for a really dumb idea.

Alien Earths are out there: Our home is not 'unique'

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Paris Hilton

Re: If at first you don't succeed....skip sky diving.

I hope you're not committing suicide. Anyway, don't know whether the nuclear decay ... replenishing the plant is really a requirement, for kicking off the evolution the ionizing radiation certainly didn't harm. But why, e.g., would flying insects need larger wingspans in a more dense atmosphere?

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Mushroom

No carbon?

I sense the rise of silicon-based life-forms...

US Navy's LASER CANNON WARSHIP: USS Ponce sent to Gulf

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Thumb Up

Re: Nobody has answered the important question

Don't know. But now I have this image in my head of a pimply-faces operator at its controls, going 'pew-pew, pew-pew-pew...'

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Re: Ouch, my eyes...

Being blinded is terrible. But I'm not sure if this was my first concern if being hit by this laser cannon...

Shhhhh! It's a Swiss Sunday shutdown. Kill the lawnmower, punish the kids with CHEESE

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@stu 4

You had a bad day, didn't you?

That would explain where your unsubstantiated rant came from...

Hawking: RISE of the MACHINES could DESTROY HUMANITY

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Re: Its already here

You beat me to it! It was my exact thought when reading the article. Although before I still wondered why the AI came out now - but it all makes sense!

Disturbance in the force lets phones detect gestures with Wi-Fi

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Trollface

That's nothing!

I can already switch off my jesus phone with telepathy. Simply have to strongly think "switch off!" for about twenty hours...

Hey, it's ... Gecko man, Gecko man, does almost whatever a GECKO can

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Devil

"The pads are made of polydimethylsiloxane"

Sure. Now tell me, how many geckoes had to die?

Vulture 2 spaceplane tumbles onto BBC World Service

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Mushroom

Die Welt

"Unsere Rakete ist schon flugfähig, anders als die von Richard Branson", sagt Lester Haines

How true...

Far Cry 4 review: It's a far cry from Far Cry 3

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Re: Not quite sure...

ShelLuser, I agree, FC4 seems like reissue of FC3.

I really enjoyed the realism of FC2 - a really open world, no head-up displays, no magic visual tracking of enemies, a map you could hold in your virtual hand while roaming etc. FC3 brought a nice story line and felt less repetitive compared to FC2. But all those glass limits ("Warning! Leaving mission zone...") were a distraction and overall it was way too easy, e.g. the enemy tracking, and at one point I couldn't be bothered to collect loot anymore because my wallet replenished without effort.

Would be nice if not bringing out a different game altogether, at least combine the realism and difficulty of FC2 with an interesting story and divers missions as in FC3. Judging from the trailers unfortunately this doesn't happen. Going to play it anyway, even if only for the beautiful landscape - the visual aspects already sold it to me.

Pharmacist caught spying on friends' med records fined £1,000

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Need-to-know

At least they do audits in this regard. But why did he have access to those records in the first place? One would think his access could and should have been limited to data related to the local residential care homes.

Cold? Cuddle these HOT GERMAN RACKS, yours for only 12,000 euro – we swear there's an IT angle

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Re: So...

@AC, I guess that's why they are located in Germany only. I would hope that all the data is encrypted, preferably already when arriving and never be in clear text at the hosts' places. That should protect both their clients and hosts. Well, one can hope...

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Re: So...

Compare the €12k to the cost of a conventional heating, i.e. the initial investment, maintenance, energy. As you and the article mentioned, the real open question is cooling during the summer.

Wind farms make you sick claims blown away again

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Re: Not just windmill nutters

And now you're going to explain how a powerless GSM mast creates infrasound?

Poll: Yes, yes, texting while driving is bad but *ping* OH! Hey, GRAB THE WHEEL, will ya?

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Cure

Put them on stand-by for some systems' incident respond team and after a day or two their dopamine level starts increasing the long the phone stays silent.

Watchdog bites hotel booking site: Over 3k card details slurped

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£7'500?

...but the ICO was required to consider the firm’s financial situation...

So, if you're bad business people you get away with such "fuckwittery of the highest order"*?

*thanks, AC

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Re: SQL Injection!!!

Never underestimate the stupidity of users developers.

Spaceplane fan sips sweet nectar from LOHAN's copious cup

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Re: My mug is a virgin

It currently holds my torque drivers, a finger skateboard and a solid silver dolphin for a charm bracelet

And you call that a virgin?!

New GCHQ spymaster: US tech giants are 'command and control networks for terror'

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Thumb Down

@1. 2. 3.

I agree, some things on the internet are wrong, e.g. fraudulent or otherwise criminal. Is it really a lot, i.e. a significant part? I doubt.

But what is wrong with obscene, or seditious content? You (or the mentioned man) may not like it, but that doesn't make it plain wrong, let alone needed to be stopped.

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Thumb Down

Re: well said Evil Auditor

@R69

You don't do irony, do you? I had some troubles to decide which parts of your comment are bad and which are worse. I almost agreed to your "If you want to protect the freedoms..." but in my humble opinion, there is no if, there is no option to protecting the freedom. (Just like The_Idiot I shall refrain from quoting Ben Franklin.)

Yes, freedom is not free. It comes at a cost which I am absolutely willing to pay.

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You're welcome!

On second thoughts, who knows, maybe Hannigan was right, even if not for all internet users. Neither you, AC, nor I became chief spook, nor would we ever be considered for such a position - because we lack the ability to know what hoi polloi is comfortable with.

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"would be comfortable with a better and more sustainable relationship between the [intelligence] agencies and the tech companies"

No.*

*of course, I for one am only speaking for myself and don't claim to know what other internet users think.