Why can't such weasels just say: "sure, I watch porn on my holiday. So what?!" But instead make it worse and funnier. Thank you, Thomas Köppl.
Posts by Evil Auditor
2619 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Jan 2009
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German mayor's browser tabs catch him with trousers down
What would happen if Earth fell into a black hole?
I seem to remember having recently read something by someone who explained that black holes are indeed hairy. Can't be bothered to search the source though. But now for the most important questions: What would happen, hypothetically, if a black hole appeared out of nowhere next to Earth?
Quite a lot of things, one would imagine. But the probably most devastating effect would be that the universe would be deprived of our heritage of cats and porn videos (cats' porn videos, anyone?). What a bummer.
Boffins' 5D laser-based storage tech could keep terabytes forever
Our legacy, our duty
...the prospect of a lifespan in billions of years for storage...
Finally we can save tons of cats' videos and -not to forget- porn for the pleasure of our descendants in a so far future that they won't know cats as we do. And our today's will be considered ancient alien porn. Wow!
We're going to use your toothbrush to snoop on you, says US spy boss
NASA charges up 18-prop electric X-plane
Head transplant candidate sells souvenirs to fund operation
'Printer Ready'. Er… you actually want to print? What, right now?
BOFH: I want no memory of this pointless conversation. Alcohol please
Once again I wonder whether Simon gets his inspiration from the place here. Not only do they have great ideas with the feasibility of manned space travel to the moon for £5 per capita, but also utter all day -and night for that matter- the thinnest and stinkiest oral diarrhoea you can imagine. (Btw, also nightly because apparently due to extensive mental masturbation during the day, they won't have the time to write their dumbest e-mails until 2.30 a.m.)
And when you actually want to invest to greatly improve the efficiency of their processes, which had been in place since the dawn of dinosaurs, and lead to considerable savings, they decline because apparently they need to cut costs and hence can't invest anything. Unfortunately they still have quite some funds (besides loads of money already wasted), which will keep them going for years to come. Can hardly wait to see them drown though...
But for now I'll drown it - it's pub o'clock.
Eighteen year old server trumped by functional 486 fleet!
It's Wikipedia mythbuster time: 8 of the best on your 15th birthday
Optimus Prime goes under the hammer
Switzerland, Spain and France are beating UK at DevOps – survey
Swiss try to wind up Apple with $25k dumb-watch
Activist investors want tepid Yahoo! to reboot crashed Marissa Mayer
Hey, Santa – duck! Space shaft buzzes Earth on Christmas Eve
Top FBI lawyer: You win, we've given up on encryption backdoors
PHONE me if you feel DIRTY: Yanks and 'Nadians wave bye-bye to magstripe
Cruel and unusual punishment
Swipe cards for hotel rooms, that is. And no, they never - NEVER - open the door on first attempt. A few months ago, in a HK hotel, I had to get a newly written card each day. Until I figured that the occasional proximity of the card to my magnetic money clip rendered the card unreadable. Not that both were even in the same pocket.
Rise of der Maschinen: Daimler trials ROBOT LORRY in Germany
'Unexpected item in baggage area' assigned to rubbish area
BOFH: Why, I LOVE work courses. Please tell me more, o wise one!
Maslow
What, no mentioning of Maslow's pile of steaming crap hierarchy of needs?
After hearing about this intellectual construct once too many in one of those "leadership trainings", I eventually gave up on them, refusing to attend another one since. There is one thing though which I've learnt in those trainings: leaders are definitely not created in leadership trainings. At best, they fuck with the brains of second class managers, putting silly ideas of staff motivation in their heads, that wouldn't even work with dogs. Let alone with highly-skilled, cynical engineers.
German prosecutor given Das Boot over Netzpolitik treason charge
UK.gov wants to stop teenagers looking at tits online. No, really
World-beating TWO-QUADRILLION-WATT LASER fired by boffins
Sysadmins: Your great power brings the chance to RUIN security
It’s DEJA VU: Customer forgets to tell us about essential feature AGAIN
Déjà vu of a different kind (and a failed Turing test)
Set during software upgrading, trouble-shooting of some sort. Present are the Expert and I.
"Should we try function X?" the Expert asks. - "No, function X is only for model A. We have model B." - "Oh, ok...." with a empty look in his face.
Seventeen minutes and an error message later:
"Should we try function X?" the Expert asks. - "No!? This won't work because it's only for model A." - "Oh"
Twenty-five minutes and two error messages later:
"Maybe we should try to run function X?" - "Erm???? Yes, give it a go!" - .... "Ah no, this is only for model A!" the Expert says with an eureka smile in its face. "Thank god! Finally!!!" I think.
Not so fast, smart-arse, not so fast... An hour or so later, it clicks again on function X to see what happens.
Slippery, slimy find: LEGGY, WRIGGLY fossil shows SNAKES weren't legless. Or ARMLESS
Lottery IT security boss guilty of hacking lotto computer to win $14.3m
Reg top tip: Don't have the same name as someone else if you use Facebook's Instagram
Dwarfworld PLUTO may not have a real DOG on it - but it does have a TAIL
Did MARS once have OCEANS? Curiosity discovers continental crust
IBM to offer breast milk elivery-as-a-service for staff
Download Festival face scan: You’re right to be annoyed, said UK surveillance commish
Re: Really Stupid People Do Really Stupid Things
That's not the question - they promised to send it back! And if you can't trust the plods, whom in the world could you trust?!
Seriously, there's a reason why they got an empty film ;-) And after 10 years, with a brief exception having lived all outside the UK, might be getting a bit difficult to link the address they have to me today.
Re: Really Stupid People Do Really Stupid Things
@Allan George Dyer
1./2. Don't know for sure but some less careful fellows were and subsequently were questioned by incompetent* plods. No charges ever.
*incompetent regarding IT matters
3. I didn't change my identity since then. You probably might have guessed that evil auditor isn't my real name ;)
Unrelated, a file that probably still exists is with the Scottish police which questioned me over some allegedly sensitive photos I've taken. They still keep a film roll of mine, which they were supposed to return around 10 years ago. I'm looking at you, Aberdeenshire police. Oh well, maybe it wasn't so interesting to look at 36 unexposed frames...
Re: Really Stupid People Do Really Stupid Things
When I was at university, "being a student" was justifiable grounds for being the target of illegal police surveillance
"Being a student" surely must not be grounds for being targeted. Then again, when I was at university, some of our activities indeed would have been justifiable grounds for being monitored legally by police - and that wasn't for e.g. being a subversive student somewhere in China. The plods didn't, but that was a different time. Also no reason for anon as it's been certainly a long enough time since.
Hacking Team: We're the good guys, but SO misunderstood. Like Batman
an unnamed government or organisation with "considerable funds"
A 15yo script kiddie? Just guessing.
When you are, like Hacking Team, operating on this filthy side of business, you want to make damn sure that even an organisation with considerable funds will not get to your data. Not saying it's easy, but it is possible. And those idiots from Hacking Team were literally screaming: "pwn us!"
Pan Am Games: Link to our website without permission and we'll sue
Sorry, say boffins, the LHC still hasn't sucked us into a black hole
Re: How would we know?
@AC regarding risk analysis.
Likelihood times impact works for risks with a relatively high frequencies and relatively low impact. There are, however, some risks with a potential impact that high, say causing a few billion deaths, that taking them is simply not acceptable regardless of likelihood (other then zero).
Security world chuckles at Hacking Team’s 'virus torrent' squeals
Re: Sir
Ergo countries with patchy human rights records.
Yes, I'm also looking at you, Great Ol' Britain. From the somewhat safe distance of the formerly British now Chinese special administrative region...
By the way, there are countries out there that still respect human rights. For now, at least, and if only for lack of resources.