* Posts by Evil Auditor

2620 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Jan 2009

Don't panic, friends, but the Chinese navy just nicked one of America's underwater drones

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Unmanned vessel

Who can claim an unmanned vessel? Didn't find anything in the article that says whether the incident happend in international waters. Anyone here knows something about martime law?

'Emoji translator' sought by translations firm

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Re: First one

Whitechapel? Whitchurch?

I still wonder where station Grey Square Church is...

Woman rescues red pepper Donald Trump from vegetarian chilli

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That is nothing!

Had a nasty cold recently. I blew my nose. And that orange/yellowish snot remaining in the handkerchief looked like the visage of Donaldfuckingtrump!

UK cops spot webcam 'sextortion' plots: How vics can hit stop

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Re: Why

@PatientOne

Half the population is of below median intelligence.

This statement is true by definition of median. No one before mentioned IQ or that IQ is a suitable measure for intelligence. Whether the statement is relevant to the "powerful combination" is an entirely different question though.

Canadian cops cuff 11-year-old lad after Grand Theft Auto gets real

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Trollface

"He's only eleven years old,"

Kill 'em! Before they grow big.

Where's the sarcasm icon?

Here's the thing: We've pressed pause on my startup

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Perfection? Not at all. If a project would (or indeed even could) be managed perfectly it would rather be a disaster. A project is usually a continuous control cycle of checking, comparing, and adjusting and hence cannot be perfect (meaning complete) by definition.

Suboptimal in terms of project management I see as e.g. having goals set against available better knowledge, not checking the project's progress properly, not doing necessary adjustments against available better knowledge. I'd like to emphasis "available better knowledge" because here it is about what is known at the time of acting (and not in hindsight). An example which I encountered in numerous variations in many projects is sticking to a once chosen path but being rather flexible about the original goals.

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Now, at least, I understand what it is about. (Of course, that was just me and me not having heard of Radbot before.) And I really like the attitude of not only reporting about success but also what goes wrong.

Besides a suboptimally managed project I wonder if there's also something suboptimal in the marketing...

BOFH: The Hypochondriac Boss and the non-random sample

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Happy

If I had kids I'd hide the BOFH stories as well as I could.

I started to read Simon's stories during my formative years. Now see what became of me! Yes, I took one or the other inspiration from his stories. But certainly I disposed of less people than the BOFH.

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My daily business

If need be, I select and test a sample on the basis of probable error and then write something like "14 out of a risk-based sample of 20 items were deficient." That the addressee of my report will think about an error rate of 70 per cent - well, that's part of the game.

Of course, to the best of my knowledge it might just as well be a total of 14 errors out of a population of umpteen thousands. But based on the approach it is simply not possible to draw any conclusions on the population.

Stay out of my server room!

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Has your precious data centre been turned into storage? Not exactly "mine" but yes, that happened in the past. It was especially nice with all the combustible material stored that in case of fire would render the whole extinguishing system useless. (That wasn't just an ordinary server room but a data centre of one of the 30 FSB G-SIBs).

More recently, and on a much smaller scale, it was the storage room to which a server rack was added. And why installing an aircon when we simply can remove the door and walls of the rack to allow for free air circulation?

Merkel calls for balanced approach to data protection

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Balanced Approach

1) You can have and process my personal data if I give it to you.

2) You can share my data if I consent to.

3) If you share my data without my consent you shall rot in hell, i.e. die the slow death of litigation.

This is what I call a balanced approach. And I can't see how this is limiting opportunities.

Surveillance camera compromised in 98 seconds

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Re: Yay for the apocalypse!

Amoral robots? Should we ever build moral robots they will come, see what IoT crap we've done, and take the very moral decision to eliminate the root source of the problem, i.e. hufuckingmankind.

The Naked Product Launch: 30 seconds to sell a robot

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WTF?

wtf++

Can't really add anything to the comments already posted here. It's just one more WTF?

But then again, neither did this article add anything. I just wonder if that's the official English translation of "Lorem Ipsum" including a suitably meaningless illustration.

The Reg seeks online community manager

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Trollface

Re: I wouldn't be recruiting today

"She tried sending emails, but it didn't work out so well..."

Must have been the millennials at the ballot box since apparently it's worse to use an illicit mail server than all the con of a professional hustler and self-acclaimed tremendously successful business man.

Linus Torvalds admits 'buggy crap' made it into Linux 4.8

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Well, I don't know really how the Linux kernel development process works. It seems pretty much centred around Linus and I wonder how continuity is ensured. Maybe it's all well arranged but it raises some questions when the guy at the top of the pyramid* has to release the kernel and also is the one ranting about some bad practice.

* No idea if it really is a pyramid. Maybe an upside-down T?

Ladies in tech, have you considered not letting us know you're female?

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Re: Typical attitude from the unoppressed...

@MyffyW

I guess then that your recruitment decisions are taken by some sort of machine without human intervention in the decision-making process? No? Then it's just as prone to bias as the dinosaurs have been doing all along.

Our Windows windows will be resizable, soooon, vows Microsoft

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Productivity

Not talking about Windows Mobile but I'd be happy to get back the desktop look and feel of the time around W2k. For Windows and especially MS Office. No, it wasn't perfect - far from it. But it was far better than the 365 crap I'm dealing with now.

I wonder if they (not only Microsoft, the problem spreads much further) ever heard of usability. Or maybe they even run a usability lab but have a different understanding of its concept (along the line of how to maximise the number of mouse clicks and time to locate a basic function).

Elon Musk: I'm gonna turn Mars into a $10bn death-dealing interplanetary gas station

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Re: Has to be said

Jeffy, I fully agree with you.

"Are we, as a species, losing the ability to distinguish the difference between CGI and the real word?" But I guess this is more of a generation Y thing than of our species. Not yet, that is...

Pull the plug! PowerPoint may kill my conference audience

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Devil

My hobby

"...giving us an opportunity to try connecting to the venue’s Wi-Fi again. We’ve been trying all morning to no avail."

Pretending that Wi-Fi works flawlessly on my (exotic) mobile when no-one else can connect to it.

Oi, Apple fanbois. Your beloved Jesus Phones are pisspoor for disabled users

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FAIL

Colin Hughes, I think you are mistaken on a few points. I absolutely agree that an ethical company would want to help disabled users. I'm a bit confused though - you didn't attribute "ethical company" to Apple, did you? I mean, we're talking about Apple here. At best it's a company that strives to show an ethical facade. And do you seriously believe that Apple wants to be associated with cripples? Young, dynamic, healthy, idiotic, rich. That's their user archetype. If their staff is anything to go by (check their average age!) I might replace the latter with "white".

I'm off to order a OnePlus and see if it's any better. Luckily I don't have any other Apple stuff to integrate with.

(icon for Apple, not the article)

Apple seeks patent for paper bag - you read that right, a paper bag

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Thumb Up

Re: I Love Cats, they taste like chicken

Indeed, clearly off the medication. As any fule kno cats taste like rabbit (true!). And rabbit, like everything else except cats and chicken, taste like chicken. You can make hats, shoes and whatever out of them. My codpiece is made of a cat white paper bag.

Have to leave, the doctor ordered me back inside.

NASA test foiled by rocket shaking power cord loose from camera

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Someone else noticed the spider abseiling into the plume a few seconds into the video? It might have gotten an actual view from the inside - a very brief one though.

Very impressive images nevertheless! Take this, you eye cancer inducing HDR people out there with your petty little photoshop skills.

The Great Brain Scan Scandal: It isn’t just boffins who should be ashamed

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That is when...

The facebook/selfie generation is conducting "scientific" studies: not understanding anything but believing to be highly relevant.

scnr

Michael Gove says Britain needs to create its own DARPA

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Stop

Questions to Gove?

Just imagining that Michael Gove could become Prime Minister sends the shivers down my spine. Not in an exciting way.

Facebook crushes Belgian attempt to ban tracking of non-users

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Re: re: jurisdiction

Thanks, Sir Lancelot

(As a side note, I'd prefer the civil law system to the common law one)

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Re: re: jurisdiction

...strange that a Belgian court would not have jurisdiction of what physically happens in Belgium

Indeed, and it's a tricky one; likely not going to be solved any time soon. Think of it this way: you set up a website that is adhering to all regulations in the country where the website is hosted. Along comes another country ruling that the cookies your website writes is unlawful. Why should this be any of your business? After all, all you do is running a perfectly legal website. This seems the reasoning behind the appeal court's decision. (By the way, anyone or lazy journo knows which court of appeal that was?)

But, I assume that FarceBook is actually doing business in Belgium. For example, presumably, with local ads? And that, one might think, should nullify the "outside Belgian jurisdiction" argument.

Jupiter's throwing a firework party for Juno – and Hubble's peeking in

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Boffin

Light?

The light can only be observed in ultraviolet...

With light being the visible part, i.e. visible the the human eye, of the electromagnetic spectrum there's no light at all then. But, who knows, perhaps that changed since I was a lad.

Telia engineer error to blame for massive net outage

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Re: Thus is revealed...

...via their alternate service provider...

Absolutely. If it is business critical you have to have an alternate link and service provider. If you don't, stop crying.

Should we teach our kids how to program humanity out of existence?

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Programming or coding?

Placing coloured blocks of code is still a form of programming being it a robot or whatever. Will this arouse interest in the kids to later on pursue a career in IT? Or should they rather learn to write actual programs and feel the real pleasures of coding assembly and stuff?

I'm actually with disgustedoftunbridgewells on this. About 25 years ago cooking classes became mandatory for all pupils around here (before only for the female). Did this lead to a surge in boys becoming chefs? Certainly not. And when thinking about domestic cookery I believe Jamie Oliver had by far a greater impact than those classes taught at school.

What is needed for children to choose a certain career path are positive experiences or role models in the respective profession. They might be found in school - for someone wanting to become a teacher. But role models for most other professions are rather found outside school and its curriculum.

Lester Haines: RIP

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Requiescat in pace

Darn Lester! You cannot just grab your coat and leave. And who is now going to do the proper PlayMobil re-enactment of your funeral? You will be missed.

My sincere condolences to his family and colleagues at El Reg.

Raspberry Pi distributor Premier Farnell in £792m Swiss buyout deal

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Re: Muh profits!!!

@Destroy All Monsters

Your idea is on the right track, i.e. it is not a bad thing when British businesses are sold abroad (cf. Buzzword above), but with dodgy reasoning. When the GBP is being devalued the effect will be that the island inhabitants can import less for the same amount of GBP.

Ooh missus, get a grip on my notifications

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Thumb Up

Alistair, by now your wife should be used to such double entendre. We know what Descartes said. But for you it'd probably be: "I'm ambiguous therefore I am".

Admin fishes dirty office chat from mistyped-email bin and then ...?

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Re: Why are you even reading the body of the emails ...

> Because sometimes that's the only way to find out which person to send it on to.

Which, just maybe..., the admin shouldn't be doing in the first place.

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Re: My preferred option

And let them know that you're a snooping peeping Tom?

Bay Area man forced out of his $400 box home

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Thumb Up

@Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese

Well played!

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WTF?

Re: fire hazard

Indeed.

If someone decides to put their bed in a wooden box, because e.g. they feel more comfortable sleeping in a closed space, no fucking authority would or should care. Fire hazard? My arse.

We need a larger WTF? icon.

US bus passenger cracks one off for three hours

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IT Angle

I'd be outraged if I found an IT angle in bootnotes!

Vulture conservationists hatch cunning 3-D printed egg plan

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Re: Diclofenac

>>Throwing up and diarrhoea simultaneously are not fun

>Especially if you are a vulture

Especially if you are underneath a vulture which has it

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Devil

Re: Diclofenac

Only a problem if vultures feed on treated people.

Russian boffins want to nuke asteroids

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Re: A modest proposal

No need for politicians - but a nice add on. Just send The Donald up and it will waterboard the asteroid out of its collision orbit.

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Nuking the asteroid when it's moving away from us

...there wouldn't be a risk of radioactive debris entering our atmosphere

That is, not until its radioactive debris comes around in a couple of years time. At least, probably by then we, or rather the monkeys who will have taken over by then, won't get the very highly radioactive stuff. Or maybe it will be the cause why other apes are going to take over?

Fake CEOs pilfer $2.3bn from US biz pockets in three years – Feds

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Devil

I agree. Simply send the sham request to the CFO. Done.

Oculus, why do you need to record our every move? Al Franken asks

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Re: Good on him...

...people [...] start thinking about all the info being collected on them.

Let me think for a second - no, they won't. Unless with people you mean very, very few people, and commentards like you and me.

Inflatable space podule set for orbital trial

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Re podule

isn't this rather a loondule?

Humans get 'aroused' fondling robots in their private areas – study

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Robophiles?

Truly crap exhibition dumped on Isle of Wight

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Coat

Really?

But for most of us, under the layers of disgust and taboo, we’re still fascinated by it.

Speak for yourself. I've seen too much crap that I could be arsed to visit a poo exhibition; I just don't give a shit.

French mobe repair shop chaps trash customer's phone

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Fired?

I don't care whether they got fired for publishing the disintegration of a customer's mobile. But they surly should be severely punished for posting a video in portrait format!

When Steve Jobs was away, Apple's designers snuck out a penis-shaped remote control

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I'm game for bashing Apple. And there's still plenty of reason to do so (e.g. the voice of an iphone 6 user randomly fading in and out on the other end of the phone connection). But this "genital" remote control? I do see it, with a little help of this not very subtle article but it doesn't seem so obvious. Then again, I've never saw and let alone handled one of those in real life...

[On a second thought, maybe your or my penis -I tend not to compare mine to that of other people- have an odd shape and the remote control indeed resembles one.]

What to call a £200m 15,000-tonne polar vessel – how about Boaty McBoatface?

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RRS Pingu?

or RRS It's Grim Down South.

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Devil

The British public can be reliably trusted to take the piss...

That makes me overly optimistic for June 23.