* Posts by Winkypop

5643 publicly visible posts • joined 21 Oct 2008

Mega-distie SYNNEX attacked and Microsoft cloud accounts it tends tampered

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Re: At first

“stollen”

Hmmmm, I do like me some Stollen cake!

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Devil

At first

Hackers thought they’d broken into a 4Chan forum, but no, it was the RNC after all.

Kepler spots four rogue Earth-mass exoplanets floating in space, unbound to any star

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Alien

Clearly

These planets were on the Vogon intergalactic highway project mailing list and are clearing out.

New mystery AWS product 'Infinidash' goes viral — despite being entirely fictional

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Linux

So lame

Everyone knows Infinidash 2.0 is where it’s at!

Radioactive hybrid terror pigs have made themselves a home in Fukushima's exclusion zone

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Brilliant

Self-cooking bacon!

Jeff Bezos names the fourth person for the first New Shepard flight: Wally Funk

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Thumb Up

Up

With this kind of thing!

UK arm of international charity the Salvation Army hit by ransomware attack

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Trollface

The good news…

At least their tax records were unaffected….

Water conditions in Jupiter's clouds could support 'life', say astroboffins

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Windows

Life is a minestrone

Maybe Jupiter is one giant soup ball.

Hubble memory errors persist despite NASA booting long-idle backup payload computer

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Pirate

Expired McAfee?

Literally

Hungover Brits declare full English breakfast the solution to all their ills

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Breakfast of champions

Hot pie and a can of coke

British minister claims technology makes maritime cannibalism obsolete

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Coat

Makes a change

From Roger the cabin boy….

John McAfee dead: Antivirus tycoon killed himself in prison after court OK'd extradition, says lawyer

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Facepalm

New QAnon conspiracy in 10, 9, 8…

Smuggled away to live on Epstein's secret island with Elvis and Hitler.

Facebook granted patent for 'artificial reality' baseball cap. Repeat, an 'artificial reality' baseball cap

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Re: Artificial Reality Cap?

Well done sir!

Now that China has all but banned cryptocurrencies, GPU prices are falling like Bitcoin

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Big Brother

Chinese government is not stupid

Brutal, but not stupid.

You have been warned.

Petition instructs Jeff Bezos to buy, eat world's most famous painting

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Re: Louvre boast

I hear she’s pretty ‘armless anyway…

Western Australia rushes out legislation after cops access contact-tracing data to investigate serious crimes

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Big Brother

Not shocked

As a Western Australian I have to give the WA Government top marks for keeping Covid infection numbers near zero.

But defo not shocked by the predicted over reach.

It's safe to leave your bunker: Blame that Chinese nuclear plant alarm on fuel rod faults

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Re: A new movie perhaps?

Well played sir

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Pirate

released in "accordance with regulations,"

Hey somebody open a window!

McDonald's AI drive-thru bot accused of breaking biometrics privacy law

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Gimmie

Twoallbeefpattiesspecialsaucelettucecheesepicklesonionsonasesameseedbun

Ransomware-skewered meat producer JBS confesses to paying $11m for its freedom

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Flame

High Steaks

This just emboldens the bastards.

Perhaps they had no practical choice?

Biden cancels Trump's bans on TikTok, WeChat, other Chinese apps

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Devil

In a strange kind of way I miss Trump

NAH……..

Would-be AWS bomber pleads guilty, faces 5 to 20 years behind bars for plot to take out government servers

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Trollface

Seth Aaron Pendley

Or just sap for short

'Condolences on the death of your conscience' says card from Indonesian delivery drivers to local Uber clone after payments slashed

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Alert

The workers, united

Will never be defeated!

(Hopefully)

Chinese app binned by Beijing after asking what day it is on anniversary of Tiananmen Square massacre

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Tanks a lot!

I'd almost forgotten the Tiananmen Square Massacre

"Incident"? - Really El Reg?

Australian cops, FBI created backdoored chat app, told crims it was secure – then snooped on 9,000 users' plots

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Thumb Up

Rozzers: 1, Ne'er-do-wells: 0

Own goals all around too!

Uncle Sam recovers 63.7 of 75 Bitcoins Colonial Pipeline paid to ransomware crew

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Black Helicopters

OK, I'll go first

All your Bitcoin are belong to us

Indian government to Twitter: Stop offshoring and outsourcing – or risk losing legal protections

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Stop

Hey MEITY!

How about setting up an Indian office to monitor and shut down India’s largest cottage industry.

>>> Telephone/internet scams <<<

They are a national disgrace to all Indians.

G7 nations aim for global 15 per cent tax on big tech and bin digital services taxes

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Facepalm

Too soft too weak

And who do you think will end up paying this 15%?

That’s right, consumers!

Give yourself an A+

Biden expands Chinese tech and military blocklist to 59 companies

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Devil

The only amazing thing here is….

…that Trump may have gotten something right.

Shocked, shocked I am!

Tiananmen Square Tank Man vanishes from Microsoft Bing, DuckDuckGo, other search engines – even in America

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Big Brother

Human error

Yes, someone at Microsoft accidentally leaned on the Bing button marked “Chinese oppression”….

Now that Trump is useless to Zuckerberg, ex-president is exiled from Facebook for two years, possibly indefinitely

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Thumb Up

Good

The less I see and hear from the fetid fool, the better.

Snakes on a Plane meets The Simpsons as airline creates ‘whacker’ to scare reptiles away from parked A380s

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Trollface

Re: Each whacker is, however, labelled with the name of the A380 to which it is dedicated

There was a special on broom handles at the hardware store.

The *fork handles* weren't available...

https://youtu.be/CNTM9iM1eVw

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Call that a snake?

People in tropical Australia often get pythons in their toilets.

That’s why it’s best to knock before entering.

JBS Foods ransomware gang: White House 'engaging directly' with Russia about attack on massive meat producer

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Coat

Police were called in

Sargent Jones: “Now, is there anyone who has a beef with you?”

Space junk damages International Space Station's robot arm

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Machine that goes Ping!

I’ll bet the Canadaarm said “sorry” afterwards…

Amazon warehouse workers are seriously injured more frequently than those at similar companies – unions

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Joke

It’s the whips

They need to stop using the whips!

If a kiosk borks when nobody is using it, can it be said to have borked at all?

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Devil

Hell will be like that

Nothing to eat but greasy fast food, ordered via broken touch screens crawling with crud.

Four women suing Google for pay discrimination just had their lawsuit upgraded to a $600m class action

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Coat

Boy named Sue

In other NEWS, men form a class action to litigate over the clearly sexist term “sue”….

Former IT manager from Essex pleads guilty to defrauding the NHS of £800k

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FAIL

Tears before bedtime

And I don’t fancy the bed he could end up in.

Russian gang behind SolarWinds hack returns with phishing attack disguised as mail from US aid agency

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Re: This is what happened, when The Register pushed propaganda the last time

Steady on now Ted!

Boeing fined $17m after fitting uncertified sensors to 737 Max and NG airliners for 4 years

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Devil

$17 million

That’s about the same as the annual budget for Boeing Execs leadership meetings*

*golf-days

NASA to return to the Moon by 2024. One problem with that, says watchdog: All of it

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Go

Hurry up guys

I’m not getting any younger.

Apollo was such a long time ago.

I’d love to watch a (fe)male astronaut put up the Moon’s first National Park sign at the Apollo11 landing site.

Where leaving footprints would be banned.

Insurance startup backtracks on running videos of claimants through AI lie detector

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Terminator

Unless tech

lie detectors

e-meters

ouija boards

water ionisers

Google employee helped UK government switch from disastrous COVID-19 strategy, according to Dominic Cummings

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FAIL

What shocks me the most

I’m shocked that this shower of shites were as bad as I suspected.

Snowden was right, rules human rights court as it declares UK spy laws broke ECHR

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Big Brother

Only illegal

If you get caught

Otherwise, carry on citizens

China announces ‘crackdown’ on Bitcoin mining and trading

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It’s just Jack and the beanstalk

Without Jack, the beans and the rest…

Google to venture where Apple soared and Microsoft crashed – physical retail

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Devil

No need to register at the counter

The sales droid will have your details automatically whispered to their ear piece.

Oh hi, Mr Johnson.

And what can we do for you today?

How’s that rash?

Australian Federal Police hiring digital evidence retrieval specialists: Being a very good boy and paws required

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Got ya!

But if you rub my belly I could sniff the other way….

Microsoft sheds some light on perplexing Outlook blank email incident: Word was to blame

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Windows

Do you want this web content via Word HTML?

No.

Notepad is just fine thanks.

This week in AI: Man arrested after cops say he rode in backseat of Autopilot Tesla

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Facepalm

iDiots

Tesla should open purpose-built tracks where these idiots can “self-drive” themselves silly, in safety.