Posts by Jimmy Floyd

Fuckwits

"Zynga is no longer perpetuating the mindset that it's acceptable to chain, neglect, and abuse real dogs."

...but it is acceptable to be a Mafia don.

PETA, you really are a bunch of sea-kitten-hugging fuckwits. And you're getting worse.

Only £699

Why so low? Apple's customers are far richer and far dopier than that. I say make it an even £999 (and 99p). We all know they'd still buy it.

Sad

A shame, that. Obviously she was never going to win but it would have been better if she hadn't been quite so far behind. Even though single-issue parties are usually a waste of space it doesn't send the best message to those who will eventually inhabit Westminster.

Jacqui's departure made me so very happy this morning

But I do take issue with your sub-line: "Being Home Secretary proves unpopular."

Surely being an evil, arrogant, self-serving, evil (again), pompous, Stasi-wannabe witch had more to do with it? :-)

Beautifully put

"The difference, Lynch seemed to say, is that Big Brother has changed sides."

And that, Cade, sums it up perfectly.

Aha ha ha ha!

Aha ha ha ha! Oh ho ho ho ho ho! Haw haw haw! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh dear me.

<snort> ha ha ha ha! Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Mmm.....

But wait! Won't somebody think of the (potential) children?!? That's not funny.

Rights of appeal

"Rosetta Stone ... plans to appeal once the company has reviewed the court’s written judgment."

See, I always thought the appeals process was for the situation when one party felt the legal process hadn't followed procedure, or other such technicalities. Now it's just for "we didn't like the opinion of this court, so we're going to find another."

Brilliant!

"Since buyers are likely to have a lot of disposable income and not much sense..."

Depravity!

'a publication is obscene if its overall effect is to "tend to deprave and corrupt persons who are likely ... to read, see or hear" it.'

That's the BOFH stories screwed then!

Statistics

I'm guessing, however, that while other European countries might have five or six drinks, they'll probably stop there. Brits just carry on to the point of paralysis.

If you're bored...

...try learning how to pronounce it:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7611205/Iceland-volcano-song-aids-pronunciation-of-Eyjafjallajokull.html

It's taken me all day and now my tongue hurts!

54%?

I call that 4-percent a rounding error.

Reading between the lines

Three points bound feverishly to mind:

1) Williams is flogging broadband via satellite, which can have reasonable bandwidth but dreadful latency. So pointless for gaming but perfectly acceptable for TV, since we rarely notice the lag there. Hmm, I wonder what his company's pricing structure is like? Probably not...

2) ...£15.99 for 10GB, which is a curious example. By 'curious' I mean 'ridiculous', since it isn't representative of the market and throws most of his other assumptions out.

3) Now, his overall point about "who pays" is actually mostly valid (and something mobile companies are finding out with their clogged airways). However, at least with fixed-line communications, there are technical alternatives to thousands of people downloading the same programme from the same servers at the same time. Caching, for one, even for live broadcasts. And, dare I say it, even P2P...

In summary: Williams has a vested interest and I'm reading between the lines.

Vote UKIP...

...if you're scared of Belgians.

(Joke icon but now I'm not so sure)

Mandy

"Provided that is you're not a convicted criminal."

In which case Gordon will put you in the House of Lords. I knew there was a reason they reduced hereditary peers, and it wasn't for the benefit of democracy.

What's that? Peter Mandelson isn't a convicted criminal? Well, you learn something new every day...

Advice to astronauts

Cut your hair before launch. No-one looks good with a zero-g perm.

Totally prior art

I know someone who's working on a very similar system, which itself is based on another methodology. And no, I won't tell you what those are.

The point is: it's been done before. Easily proven. Epic patent fail (with any luck!).

Burning up in the light of the moon

"...five days continual flight per hop..."

I'm presuming it has batteries for night-flights? Or perhaps the moonbeams are particularly strong in certain parts of the world.

Hipocritical as ever, Rueport [sic]

"...the newspapers ought to stand up and let them do their own reporting.”

Is that in the way that many Murdoch titles already do, by taking stock reportage from Reuters? Yes, they pay for it - but it smacks of hypocrisy when the Dirty Digger uses a financial argument to justify his usual absence of quality.

Úll

At least Apple have the decency not to force UK and Irish users to type with a US keyboard layout.

Oh...

Nice exclusive, Tony

...and the sentence "Canary is replacing the current version of Dolphin" demonstrates perfectly the lunacy of Orange's tariff naming scheme.

A passerine avian conducting the tasks of a marine-based mammal?! Just give me a bloody telephone!

The truth!

The LHC will create badgers' paws.

Ah, no...

Tough

Model's sign over all rights to the photos in exchange for money. I doubt they'd even open this open-and-shut case.

Can it be?

Cade, that link to Wikipedia is brilliant, and manna for those of us who regard the iPod & iPhone as visually impressive but technically inferior. If I may copy & paste (which the iPhone can do now, I hear):

"[Saint Joseph of Cupertino] was said to have been remarkably unclever, but prone to miraculous levitation and intense ecstatic visions that left him gaping."

You couldn't make it up!

Sad, isn't it?

We have the choice between centralist Big Brother Stasi wannabes or a nice-but-dim opposition in bed with big business. The Lib-Dems seemed a good option until they turbo-powered the Mandybill.

Revolution, brothers? No. We're British. Can't be arsed. And anyway the footie's on.

I can think of worse

Any film starring Jenna Jameson. I mean, the plot is predictable, the script is repetitive, the camera-work all shaky and the acting is ... er .... wooden. I didn't laugh once.

Mine's not the dirty mac.

Looking on the bright side...

If Apple are this frightened of Android it means they're shit-scared of their shiny ice-hockey puck being called out for what it is: technically average, restrictive, over-priced but oh-so purdee.

The strangest sentence I note in this article is the bit about a gesture to unlock the phone, as opposed to a PIN. I was under the impression (and await correction) that this is standard on Android but that someone has had to create an app for it on the iPhone?

There was an article a while back between us Reg commentards about the multi-touch bit that Android has on some (but not all) of the standard applications. I was slightly surprised not to see that mentioned but maybe that's a reflection of the sheer number of allegations!