Posts by Admiral Grace Hopper

Embarrassing friends

I am a happy user of an iPhone (other ecosystems are available) and as I read the original article I wanted him to STFU.

It's a phone. With an OS. Which runs apps. FFS.

Father Dougal

A sandwich student, recently arrived for his mid-course year of work, find himself staring at the Big Red Emergency Shutdown button and wonders what it does. To find out he presses it. Bringing the building containing several hundred developers and all the dev and test systems back up took an entire day as we discovered that all the kit that we had piled in over the years couldn't all be started at once without tripping the power supply.

The next week all the Big Red Buttons got Big Perspex Lift Off Covers to make pressing them an more conscious decision.

But will it blend?

As per title.

Bong

Where's Steve Bong when you need him?

Silos

In a previous existence I worked for EDS under Dick Brown who sent regular uplifting missives to all hands. He made the best and clearest statement about silos that I ever read, so good that I memorised it and live by it to this this day:

"Taking a holistic view removes silo blinders and allows us to surround opportunities throughout the organization".

Poetry.

MS Watch v2.0

As ever, wait for v3.0 of anything from MS for the one that works.

Ah, Bull

I used to love having Bull as a supplier. Out 90 minute weekly meeting when deploying a whole bunch of DPX/20 servers would follow a set pattern:

- Meet and greet

- Progress update

- First question from our devs

- 80 minutes of in-fighting between the two Bull guys

- One hour meeting after the meeting to sort out the stuff not sorted due to the infighting

- Pub

Happy days.

Flense

There's nothing wrong with the word "flense". Removing blubber from any code is to applauded.

Security Breach

Ok, so who leaked our process documents?

Johnny Castaway

Must code a recreation of that sometime, although I'm not convinced I ever saw all the events. The pirate ship was a particular favourite.

Lady Programmer Available

Well over 25, ugly as a thunking layer, 28 years experience C/C++/COBOL/S3/BASH/PowerShell/SQL, available immediately.

Funnily enough, I've just been having a conversation about how to make COBOL and attractive option for recent graduates as without new blood to fettle the old code there's going to be a very expensive re-write coming down the line. 20 years convinced that COBOL would be retired before I was, now I'm not so sure.

Short shopping list

Find kids who want to learn either how computers work or how to make a computer do something.

Teach them to work out how this might be made to happen.

Teach them the skills they need to make it happen.

Encourage them to make it happen.

Stand behind them ready to help when they ask, but not so close that they bump into you when they turn around.

Guide and praise them as necessary.

Ask them what they're going to to do next.

And that's it.

You've got the put the resources in place - they'll need a big sandbox to play in - but make that available to the right kids and they'll do most of the work for you. Try to drag anyone kicking and screaming or dumbing things down so that the whole class can do it even if they've no interest or aptitude won't help anyone.

I'm not currently looking for a relationship

But if I chanced on a chap with a large bank balance and a dodgy heart my head could be turned.

Batters?

Batter is what you put fish in. The cricketer at the wicket with a bat in their hand is a "batsman", in both male and female versions of the game.

There are batters in rounders, but that's a childs' game and need not detain us.