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* Posts by Admiral Grace Hopper

640 posts • joined 7 Oct 2008

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Big Falcon Namechange for Musk's rocket: BFR becomes Starship

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Yes

I could lose my heart to that.

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Bright spark dev irons out light interference

Admiral Grace Hopper
Windows

Blu Tack

Those of a certain generation grew up with expansion packs secured with the universal blue fixative. If we'd had Sugru back then we'd have been ecstatic.

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Open the pod bay doors: Voice of HAL 9000 Douglas Rain dies at 90

Admiral Grace Hopper

I am completely operational and all my circuits are functioning perfectly.

His voice started and ended my working day for many years, as well as marking error events with an appropriate phrase.

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Russian computer failure on ISS is nothing to worry about – they're just going to turn it off and on again

Admiral Grace Hopper

"So 3 HALs walk into a bar..."

... and the barman says, "Why the long int?".

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Stairway to edam: Swiss bloke blasts roquefort his cheese, thinks Led Zep might make it tastier

Admiral Grace Hopper

Putting On The Ritz

Or putting it on the Ritz *jazz hands*

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Nikola Tesla's greatest challenge: He could measure electricity but not stupidity

Admiral Grace Hopper

Electricity

A good choice of tune, their speeded-up version of Kraftwerk's Radioactivity is a fine tribute to Tesla, but there is, of course, a more direct tribute.

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Apple's launch confirms one thing: It's determined to kill off the laptop for iPads

Admiral Grace Hopper

"what's a computer?"

Eat Y'Self Fitter!

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Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Would they allow it if...

Whenever life takes me to Driffield, I always smile as I pass through Wetwang.

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'BMW, Airbus and Siemens' get the Brexit spending shakes

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: "Keep calm and carry on"

"Could" is the key word. Possibility is always hemmed in by intent and capability.

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Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: "Keep calm and carry on"

"The UK has given notice, and the EU has set a deadline"

The UK government could rescind its A50 letter if it wished. The awkward silence that might follow would be interesting to witness, but I doubt that we will be treated to that

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Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Oblig

"I wonder why?".

Those factories in Malaysia don't build themselves.

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Admiral Grace Hopper

"Keep calm and carry on"

When that is the best and most coherent planning advice that we have had for coping with this situation then we are truly in an unnerving place.

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Assange catgate hearing halted as Ecuador hunts around for someone who speaks Australian

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Move the embassy

Diplocat is my new DJ name.

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Roughly 30 years after its birth at UK's Acorn Computers, RISC OS 5 is going open source

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: I had an A310 and loved it

I didn't have and Acorn - my Dad bought us a Dragon 32 - but I share your feelings about the passage of time. Every time I visit the National Museum Of Computing it becomes a tick list of machines I used to own, machines I use to work on and machine I use to covet.

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Core-blimey! Riddle of Earth's mysterious center finally 'solved' by smarty seismologists

Admiral Grace Hopper

Rock On

Obligatory XKCD

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Facebook names former Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg head of global affairs

Admiral Grace Hopper

He’ll probably do the Lib Dem thing and sell the post room.

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Powerful forces, bodily fluids – it's all in a day's work

Admiral Grace Hopper

Red Dwarf

Back in the mists of time we used Philips Maestro systems for mainframe software development. These were upgraded to the new whizzy devices with some intelligence built into the very expensive keyboards to alleviate the load on the minicomputer that talked to the mainframe. It was drilled into us how very expensive the desktop component was - 3000 late-80s GBPs - in an effort to impress on us how lucky we were to have them and how much care we should take of them. Sadly, my desk neighbour showed little care while ham-fistedly opening a litre carton of orange juice which split and dumped its contents into the keyboard/desktop processor. Orange juice and PCB tracks are not a felicitous combination.

After we moved onto PCs I didn't think of the Philips Maestro again until I saw one glued to the wall of the cabin of Star Bug in Red Dwarf.

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'Incommunicado' Assange anoints new WikiLeaks editor in chief

Admiral Grace Hopper

Incommunicado? Sorta, kinda, maybe.

In a cupboard? Has been for some while, probably will be for some time yet. Poor Ecuadoran embassy staff.

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Blueprint of modern construction can be found in a tech cluster... of 19th century England

Admiral Grace Hopper

Shropshire

A beautiful county. Lots of wonderful walking, fascinating history, much to explore and some interesting and unique rock climbing on Wenlock Edge, Pontesford Rocks and Nesscliffe. I can highly recommend the Rocke Cottage Tea Rooms in Clungunford.

I worked in Telford for many years and while it has much to recommend it as a place of employment, I wouldn't rush back. It turns out that you did have to pay me to make me go there.

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How an over-zealous yank took down the trading floor of a US bank

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: "over-zealous yank"

No, you aren't. I immediately started to compile a mental list of former colleagues who fitted the description, being careful, of course, to omit the Good 'Ole Boys from Texas who didn't appreciate being called Yankees.

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Spent your week box-ticking? It can't be as bad as the folk at this firm

Admiral Grace Hopper

As a senior exec at an outsourcing former (now-defunct) employer once told me, "We woo on the contract pitch and rape on the service changes".

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30-up: You know what? Those really weren't the days

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: All these years on

I pray for them. In Codd we trust.

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Admiral Grace Hopper

All these years on

and I still find myself in third normal form.

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Sysadmin misses out on paycheck after student test runs amok

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Naming Schemes

I once had the task of decommissioning any server in the estate that didn't run to its owner when I came swinging my axe. After sending a seemingly endless stream of file servers called Gandalf to a well-earned rest, I was relieved to find a development team that had named theirs after the Second Stage Lensmen.

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Microsoft: You don't want to use Edge? Are you sure? Really sure?

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Dear Microsoft -- You Did It To Yourself!!!

"It's one of the major reasons enterprises dont use say Chrome on Windows 10."

And yet we have IE-specific apps that won't run in Edge no matter what we do. After the last Win10 update came down the wire even IE would just sit there sullenly refusing to pick them up and run with them. The current workaround is an IE compatibility extension to Chrome.

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Do not adjust your set, er, browser: This is our new page-one design

Admiral Grace Hopper

It's fine

I kvetched a little about the last reformatting and this makes one of my complaints worse - even more white space shining into the echoing void of my workplace - but really, it doesn't get in the way of reading the content so it's not a problem.

If you want to delight me, get rid of the float-over ads.

If you want to really piss people off, go full-on late 90s Gociities with a floral border and an autoplay .wav of something plinky-plonky.

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Apple in XS new sensation: Latest iPhone carries XS-sive price tag

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Razr

I have seriously considered getting a resurrected Erissson T28 for phone calls and a hotspot and a small tablet for mobile internet.

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London's Gatwick Airport flies back to the future as screens fail

Admiral Grace Hopper

I'm still waiting for my local aerodrome to be renamed "London Ringway".

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Techie's test lab lands him in hot water with top tech news site

Admiral Grace Hopper
Mushroom

"They bought their tickets. They knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em crash!"

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Microsoft devises new way of making you feel old: Windows NT is 25

Admiral Grace Hopper

Guilty as charged. I seem to have formed a false memory on this one. They have had some striking logos along the way but none with capital S.

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Admiral Grace Hopper

NT4

NT4 was where MicroSoft lost the plot. Moving the GDI to Ring 0 was my first WTF moment with Windows. Were they really prepared to compromise the stability of a server OS to keep the GUI running? They were.

Oh dear.

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Sysadmin trained his offshore replacements, sat back, watched ex-employer's world burn

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: was it for RBS

RBS published enough press releases after that clusterflump to qualify as a publishing company with a banking arm.

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HPE supercomputer is still crunching numbers in space after 340 days

Admiral Grace Hopper

I'm completely operational and all my circuits are functioning perfectly

Apollo is a good name for a space-bound system.

I do hope that they set it up with the same boot and close-down wav files that I and many others used when PCs with sound cards started hitting our desks.

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How much do you think Cisco's paying erstwhile Brit PM David Cameron?

Admiral Grace Hopper

An interesting choice of figurehead

The only IT related pronouncement I can recall Cameron making was his endorsement of Fruit Ninja.

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Trump wants to work with Russia on infosec. Security experts: lol no

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Well, with all of NATO being either personal foes or parts of the "greatest Foe"

USA should make more cheese, and export that to the world.

Heavens to Betsy! Have you seen what the Americans call cheese?

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No, seriously, why are you holding your phone like that?

Admiral Grace Hopper
Coat

Marketing

"Which is precisely the sort of thing we need to know. Do people want fire that can be fitted nasally?".

Mines the one with the pockets full of leaves.

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GitHub given Windows 9x's awesome and so very modern look

Admiral Grace Hopper

I've been in software long enough to have written software for Windows 3.1.

My first post-mainframe code was a Win 3.11 client/server development and I agree that the simplicity of the interfaces we designed then, driven by the limitations of the available resources, has an appeal that goes beyond mere nostalgia. When there are no distractions you can focus on how best to help the user best satisfy their needs.

Of course, I would never admit to having wasted hours playing with the GUI after years of staring at a green screen when I was set loose with a PC rather than a terminal. I would, however, state that returning to a green screen and the mainframe after many years of GUI-ing was like slipping between cool cotton sheets once more - refreshing and relaxing in equal parts.

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UK taxman warned it's running out of time to deliver working customs IT system by Brexit

Admiral Grace Hopper

"Actually I think she is a closet remainer and has a cunning plan"

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

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Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Those guestimates are just that guesses

"I really hop not."

Rimmer: I never agreed with my parents’ religion but I wouldn’t dream of knocking it.

Lister: What were they?

Rimmer: Seventh Day Advent Hoppists. They believed that every Sunday should be spent hopping. They would hop to church, hop through the service and hop back home again.

Lister: What’s the idea behind that then?

Rimmer: Well, they took the Bible literally. Adam and Eve, the snake and the apple, everything. Took it word for word. Unfortunately their version had a misprint. It was all based on 1 Corinthians 13, where it says “faith, hop and charity, and the greatest of these is hop.” So that’s what they did every seventh day. I tell you, Sunday lunchtimes were a nightmare. Hopping around the table serving soup. We all had to wear sou’esters and asbestos underwear.

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Happy birthday, you lumbering MS-DOS-based mess: Windows 98 turns 20 today

Admiral Grace Hopper
Windows

Re: i can remember before windows

Some of us are still working on mainframe stuff. It still does what it's supposed to do, when you ask it to.

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MSDN unleashes a fresh round of unintentional innuendo bingo

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: I've tried giving up using innuendo several times...

A colleague just asked me for an example of a double entendre so I gave him one.

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Cryptography is the Bombe: Britain's Enigma-cracker on display in new home

Admiral Grace Hopper
Facepalm

Re: Bletchley Park Trust vs The World carries on ?

I was thinking exactly the same thing. Having been to both several times down the years I have been mystified at the way that two complimentary organisations can be at loggerheads in such a mutually disadvantageous way. People, eh? Funny buggers at the best of times.

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In defence of online ads: The 'net ain't free and you ain't paying

Admiral Grace Hopper

National Shite Day

Half Man Half Biscuit have had this covered for a while with National Shite Day.

They have also suggest holding an awareness week for awareness weeks.

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Don’t talk to the ATM, young man, it’s just a machine and there’s nobody inside

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Ah FUBAR

I used to work with someone known to all and sundry as "Spof". I assumed that it was a play on "Spock" until I'd worked with him long enough to realise that he was a Single Point Of Failure.

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A Reg-reading techie, a high street bank, some iffy production code – and a financial crash

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Should have used COBOL.

"It's only sheer idiocy and masochism to move off it or use something else."

Quite so.

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US websites block netizens in Europe: Why are they ghosting EU? It's not you, it's GDPR

Admiral Grace Hopper
Stop

Whither Cornwallis?

Disappointingly, the Virginian Pilot seems to have embraced the spirit of the Battle of Yorktown with respect to GDPR. My Virginian news is being denied.

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NASA fix for Curiosity rovers's damaged drill: hitting it, repeatedly

Admiral Grace Hopper

"Brummy screwdriver"

Or as the Brummies would call it, a West Bromwich Screwdriver.

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BOFH: But I did log in to the portal, Dave

Admiral Grace Hopper

Things have changed,.

Our HP support licences used to arrive in box bigger than the one that they sent the server in. It made sense as the support contract probably cost more than the server.

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‘I broke The Pentagon’s secure messaging system – and won an award for it!’

Admiral Grace Hopper

Re: Welcome once a

Sadly I fear the we shall never find the packet of papers containing the memoir of his time in Paris durign the 1871 Commune.

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Tech bribes: What's the WORST one you've ever been offered?

Admiral Grace Hopper

It could have been better

We were offered free training on the software package being proposed, for the whole team and the training to be conducted in the US, flights from the UK to be picked up by the vendor. Our boss said yes. which was greeted with great joy and we prepared for our team jolly. Then we were told that out of the two sites where we could do the training, Palo Alto had been rejected by our boss as being, "too far away", and that we would be heading for Malvern, Pa. In February. Very friendly people at the Malvern facility, but boy was it cold.

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