Posts by James Pickett

Slightly OT

But probably the best opportunity I shall get to report that our local force, in a Herculean attempt to embrace the wonders of IT, have started a regularly updated website, or 'blog'. This has immediately been dubbed the Plodcast...

Rich

"at a slight loose end"

FFS, he's got at least three jobs already, although why a bank would employ someone who has only just got a mobile phone and who knows less than PH about computing, is anyone's guess. No wonder they're so crap with money.

Normally, I would be frothing at the mouth at this news, but I have just read Robert Harris's excellent 'The Ghost', which I heartily recommend. Very cathartic.

BSA

Must be short for something pithy, such as BullShit Always. Better suggestions welcome.

It always amuses me to see them tie themselves in knots when campaigning. They remind me of the speed camera partnerships who, of course, have to sound pleased when people slow down, but really want to carry on nabbing them, because their existence depends on it.

@slaine

My thoughts exactly. How many other bridges have their own websites, I wonder?

Oily mammals

"There is no oil in dolphins"

Not true! Wouldn't expect Dubya to know that, of course...

Eh?

"Linux-based systems have a limited ability to communicate with Microsoft-based systems"

Shouldn't that be the other way round?

Catastrophe

Amazon ... heading for 'catastrophic collapse'

Does Jeff Bezos know?

Credit

"EDS have nothing to do with the tax credit stuff anymore"

That probably explains why ours came through in under a week!

PS

This database - so much simpler to choose your make, model and year of car from a huge list than to remove the filler cap yourself, or does it actually recognise the car, or (shudder) link back to the police files?

No, just let me do it, thanks...

Numbers

"1,337 got the site to work successfully on Sunday"

And the rest?

Picky

But pod slurping is not a portmanteau word - it's still two words and likely to remain so, a point that, amazingly, seemed to escape every one of these:

"Vice-Chancellor of the University of Sydney, Professor Gavin Brown

Dean of the Faculty of Arts at the University of Sydney, Professor Stephen Garton

Publisher of the Macquarie Dictionary, Susan Butler"

One can only conclude that, as with Sir Les Patterson, cultural standards are somewhat lower in Australia...

Awards

I find it hard to suppress a smile every time we hear about the cancellation of an award ceremony due to the lack of writers. Can't Americans put two words together without an autocue? Even the jokes might improve, if they were spontaneous...

Tricky?

"either cash or Microsoft stock"

Cash for me, I think. Lovely to think that Ballmer is grumpy again because someone else looks like being a monopoly...

Just hoping..

..that doesn't make me too closely relating to Francis Albert. Paul Newman I could cope with.

Old fashioned

"It only takes 15 minutes"

My paper form takes me about 5 minutes* and I can drop it into my tax office when I'm passing (always on the 31st for some reason). That way, I know they've got it!

*Longer to enter the figures on my spreadsheet, I grant you, but that's the same however you file the results.

Risk

"some percentage that it could land on ground as opposed to in the water"

Well, you can tell he's an expert. No wonder they need(ed) something to provide round-the-clock intelligence...

Tricky..

One Air or six EeePC's? Looks a tad overpriced to me, but then it is from the Kings of charging what the market will bear...

I say, chaps

Those pesky terrorists aren't playing fair, again. They'll be shaving off their beards next...

Oh dear

So there won't just be skid-marks on the runway? Sorry...

Disk space

Several times I've gone to uninstall MS apps and have been told that it is checking for sufficent disk space.

My favourite (so far) is "Word cannot edit the unknown".

Relative

I see M.Kerviel's achievement is being hailed (if that's the word) as a record. Come on, he only lost about £3bn - the boss of Northern Rock lost £50bn, which the Bank of England very sensibly refused to stump up until leant on by Downing Street. Since no-one now wants to touch NR, I think that makes the PM the worst rogue trader ever, a record that should stand for some time. Poor Prudence must be hiding in the cellar by now...

Bring in the experts

Surely this is a job for Crapita? I suppose EDS will do, at a pinch, though...

(Paris, because even she would do a better job.)

Cherchez le PM

I still think it was shot down by spooks jamming the airwaves for GB's motorcade. Not that we would ever be told...

Viewfinder again

"The lack of an optical or LCD viewfinder is a non starter for me."

Agree entirely. The Panasonic TZ3, which would otherwise be on my shortlist, is a desirable competitor in all respects, with a wonderful 28-280mm zoom, but no viewfinder, no sale. Sorry.

WMD

Just to clarify, what it a nuclear weapon if not a WMD? Strange to think we could all be wiped out by semantics...

Parliamentary question

One for Vince Cable, perhaps: "How many sets of personal details does HMG currently hold that it knows are still secure?"...

Paris (looking upset) because it's unfair to suggest that even she's that clueless.

Excuses

"a security risk in Vista that had prevented Redmond from relaxing its licensing terms"

Not sure I follow that, but it doesn't look good for future MS openness. No change there, then.

Legal

IIRC, the original MS antitrust defence legal team all used WP, as it was a favourite tool for lawyers. I also recall that Word came in for some flak in another court case, because it couldn't produce accurate word counts, and some legal submissions have to be a certain length.

The change of fortunes for WP was very rapid - I remember when it was pre-eminent. 5.1 was wonderful...

Swine Air

And no doubt the Home Office are still insisting that our ID data will be safe with them...

(Paris because Jacqui Smith seems about as bright...)

Pots and Kettles

"to let someone load the office database onto their personal laptop and leave it in their car outside Tesco"

But it only seems to be government/MOD employees who do that, so perhaps they should get their house in order first?

Kudos to Michael for remembering the BBC interview debacle. I'd forgotten it was GK they meant to have!

Hard not to smile

I tried, really!

the RIAssA site seems to be working again, but just about every link is to do with copyright, security and parental responsibility. Bugger all about Recording...

Overrule

"belly-flop into the forest"

IIRC, the computer thought it was sufficiently clear of the ground, not having been programmed to know anything about trees...

Irony

Calling Kettle - Pot on line 1...

Bonus

"it isn't a death ray, or anyway isn't meant to be"

But what if it was? Oh goody, goody...

Tourists

"I'm sure he has some sort of jammer to prevent roadside bombs."

So, it's the terrorists' fault! An interesting conundrum for the Air Accident guys if it turns out to have been shot down by our government's paranoia...

No plan to..

..usually means: " but thanks for the idea". The answer No is rarely given, as it's far too direct and unequivocal.

Eee for mee

So, if Mr Jobs posts that to himself, in an unpadded envelope, what chance of it being usable when it's put through his letterbox?

A few years back Compaq made a nice little sub-notebook with flash memory called the Aero. Wonder if they could sue...?

A dish best served cold

At last - revenge for Betamax! I had one, you know...

Bad losers

Especially of personal information...

Never mind the inebriates..

..what about the commercial aircraft in the same airspace? I'm sure the air traffic controllers will be delighted, assuming they will have communication with the RAF...

A bit specialised..

"Floating Vehicle Data "

For use during the floods?

Beauty contest

"Miss Pima County in 2005"

Well, that's off my holiday destination list...