Posts by Alan Gregson

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The nipple ring could cause some serious damage to passengers & crew, providing someone managed to smuggle a pair of pliers on board so she could remove it.

here be title

Reminds me of a Dilbert strip where PHB says that engineers get $100 bonus for every bug they find in the product - so they go away and create some bugs to be found later...

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It takes so long because you get to the top of ladder, splash a bit of paint about then your can's empty, so you have climb back down to the bottom, pop round to B & Q, but they clean out of that shade, so you have to start again with a different colour.

I tell you, it's like painting the forth bridge this is...

PTC

I do hope that the PTC members provide their children with earplugs when they go out into the street...

btw Caprice said the same word on UK TV (I think it was on the appalling GMTV, the most offensive program on terrestrial TV) when she was promoting her role in the same "play", perhaps it's in the actresses contracts that they must say the word on TV at every opportunity.

Readers' Wives

Eric (leers, grinning) Your wife interested in er... (waggles head, leans across) photographs, eh? Know what I mean? Photographs, 'he asked him knowingly'.

Terry Photography?

Eric Yes. Nudge nudge. Snap snap. Grin grin, wink wink, say no more?

Terry Holiday snaps?

Eric Could be, could be taken on holiday. Could be yes - swimming costumes. Know what I mean. Candid photography. Know what I mean, nudge nudge.

@Hussein

You don't have to pay tax on shares, but you do pay it when you sell them, or else we'd all be paid in shares.

@Mike Penton

How much does the service cost?

Did you actually read the article?

"consumers can run a number against its database on the move, by texting it to 76787.

Texts are charged at the standard network rate."

Paris 'cos she can't read either...

Near Dark

"plus a remake of Near Dark to be directed by music vid vet Samuel Bayer."

The original Near Dark was directed by "music vid vet" Kathryn Bigelow, so they can't even come up with an original choice of director.

insistiation

Is that actually a word?

Title

Yeah, you can run Vista Home flavours in a virtual machine, but you can't run a Virtual Machine in Vista Home.

How do I run an Ubuntu VM with Home Premium, none of the VM servers will install in Vista Home Premium.

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That picture's a bit jerky, what's he doing with his other hand?

Rodney King

Cool, issue these to LAPD so they can film their roadside beating antics

Anti-social arse

There's a guy in our office whose arse is very anti-social today.

We've nearly run out of air freshener and may have to start spraying pledge around to cover the smell.

Paris due to her allegedly friendly arse...

@Cameron Colley

Read the story again, the repost.

it was Crystal Meth, not crack.

No for some lessons about drug addiction - Crystal Meth is one of the most addictive substances on earth, you become physically and mentally dependent on it. you also never recover. Like any drug, alcohol, tobacco, smack or crack, you will always be an addict and addicts behave very strangely.

Do you, or anyone you know, smoke? Have you or you acquaintance every tried to give up? It's not easy is it, now try with someone many, many times stronger.

You also can't blame the girl, drugs pushers are very persuasive people, that's why they're so good at the game, they play on your insecurities (13 year old girls have many), offer you free samples, get you hooked, then they bleed you dry. Scum of the earth, like estate agents, only worse...

Paris because most of the posters here have displayed about her level of sense 7 compassion (see Rwandan Orphans stories)

Jimmy's

Wasn't it St James Hospital in Leeds where they couldn't afford aircon in the server room, so when they booted up £1m of new kit it instantly went supernova?

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/09/27/leeds_server_overheat/

If that's the case maybe the low salary is because they've decided to buy some cooling for the replacement servers

Use Real Alternative

Simple as that, never adds itself to your start-up group, takes a lot less power, plays all RM files...

While I'm at it, dump Quick Time and use Quick Time Alternative...

http://www.free-codecs.com/download/Real_Alternative.htm

http://www.free-codecs.com/download/QuickTime_Alternative.htm

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There were only 5 nominations in each category, so not really a proper reflection of tastes.

I can think of no other reason why Matt Damon would be voted "best actor"...

Mind you in any poll Lindsay "Rehab" Lohan would be at the bottom of the pile.

iPod

So are they going to sue every iPod owner, because I'm damn sure that most people have not filled them via the iTunes store, at 79p a track it would cost about £13k to fill an 80gb iPod Classic.

@Scott

Having a conversation on a telephone is very different from listening to a radio or talking to a passenger.

When talking to someone face-to-face (or side by side in a car) body language and facial expressions make up most of the conversation, these little details are missing over the phone, so to compensate you have to concentrate more carefully on the call - diverting your attention from the road.

With the radio, yes you get no body language, but then again you don't really concentrate fully on the radio anyway.

Paris is there because of the famous pictures of her arrest, when the call she was making whilst driving was far to important to end the call whilst being arrested.

Tried CFL...

and they all went back to the shop.

They're just not bright enough, and when you have poor eyesight (my wife has cataracts) they're just no good.

Add to this all the crap associated with the manufacture of these lamps, the poisons they contain and the huge expense of replacing all the lamps they there is no discernible benefit.

As this legislation been push through by the CFL manufacturers do you think?

I'm off to B & Q shed load of incandescent bulbs...

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"This will permit people "to read the entire Bible with the naked eye," he told AFP."

I have a bible that's it's possible to read with the naked eye. Someone had better tell these Israeli geeks that they've been printing them since the 15th Century.

Won't matter

When the apocalypse arrives and Christ is looking for the data to do his sorting it will have been lost by the US outsourcing company Lucifer Inc, he then finds out that the backup was posted by some civil servant and was never seen again...

"Bollocks to it" says Jesus, he sends the whole lot to Heck and phones his dad to get the whole process started again.

duh!!

Do they not understand that the popularity of pop-up blockers mean that consumers are not happy about having adverts forced down our necks.

Perhaps there's a gap in the market for ad-blockers on DVD players

title...

To put the brilliance of our government into context Golden Brown wanted Fiona Philips to be a minister for children.

Yes, that one, the simple minded woman that's only got a job because her husband is one of GMTV's bosses..

@Ash

That was a different auction, for children in need, bought by a TOG with more money than sense

US version!

All links take you to the US version, has anyone got a link to the UK express edition?

He was confused

Someone told him to get it on with town bike.

ok pass me the fleece it's chilly out

Energy saving

My math(s) may be wrong here, but sharing 450mw across 360,000 households equates to 1250 watts a piece, now that's less than a single kettle per house.

That's some serious energy saving we'll have to be doing by 2013

Old rhyme

Little bird flying high

dropped a message from the sky,

Angry farmer wiped his eye

thanking God that cows can't fly.

Oh shit, they're making a good attempt at flying, they just need to learn how to miss the ground. The trick is to get distracted just before you hit.

drool list

Could I just add another two to the drool list

Iyari Limon (Kennedy) who was a bit of extra eye candy in BTVS season 7

Morena Baccarin (Inara) one of the most stunning women I have ever seen

Where do all the old lightbulbs go?

assuming I switch all my bulbs to "energy saving" ones a couple of questions are raised...

1) The new bulbs take a lot more power to manufacture

2) how many landfill sites will be filled with old bulbs, as I'm damn sure the local recycling facility doesn't have a section for light bulbs

3) The new bulbs are filled with a nice toxic powder, so they'll need special treatment when they die, which by all accounts is a lot sooner than the claims made on the box.

That's settled then...

I'm never traveling to the US again, which means I'll have to sell my Montana bunker