* Posts by Anonymous Custard

2797 publicly visible posts • joined 25 Jul 2008

Send printer ink, please. More again please, and fast. Now send it faster

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

Re: There are so many extarordinary stories

Button fly combined with braces. Works wonders...

ISP popped router ports, saving customers the trouble of making themselves hackable

Anonymous Custard
Joke

How many people...?

...were surprised it was SingTel not TalkTalk?

Anonymous Custard
Trollface

Re: This is why I feel....

Just done the same myself (my Fritz!Box 7590 should be arriving sometime between tomorrow and the end of the week, whilst my faithful old D6200 goes to have a rest in the attic after many years faithful service (as it's only ADSL and can't do VDSL).

The fact that my ISP supplied router is a £35 POC that doesn't even have gigabit Ethernet ports being part of it, and also the fact that I can't firmware upgrade it myself (and the supplied firmware is known to be buggy), plus to cap it all off even after a full factory reset they can't connect to the damn thing either to do it for me. And they've even seemingly locked it out of useful stuff like being able to change the DNS or put it into modem-only mode to daisy-chain it to the D6200.

Given they can't do the one thing that would be required, time to go self-administered and get some decent kit in place.

BOFH: Their bright orange plumage warns other species, 'Back off! I'm dangerous!'

Anonymous Custard
Mushroom

Re: "So the real problem appears to be employing people who don't watch where they're going?"

In my experience on the average street, it's less about employment and more about general existence...

Is your smart device a bit thick? It's about to get a lot worse

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

Try rubbing it down with one of the aforementioned items...

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

Re: Excelelnt song!

Although one would wonder how many know that Tainted Love (I know by Soft Cell, but sung by Almond) is also one (originally recorded by Gloria Jones in the mid-sixties) and might rival it?

Anonymous Custard
Trollface

Re: Better Option

No, some others of us know our place as well (in the wrong and to blame usually, regardless of what about).

Police block roads to stop tech support chap 'robbing a bank'

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

Re: Must have been a quite impressive experience

@Lee D

Not if it's of a suitable design (like a mushroom EMO one) that could be triggered using your leg (knee or thigh bash for examples)...

ISP TalkTalk's Wi-Fi passwords Walk Walk thanks to Awks Awks router security hole

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

Re: Ralink router?

Currently (for home fibre anyway) they're offering D-Link 3782's and Huawei HG633's (and also the HG635 for business, but they seemingly can't/don't/won't offer them to home users any more).

They've just also brought out a new super hub (a Sagemcom apparently), but if you want one of those as an existing customer you have to shell out £120.

That said on both the routers whilst WPS is enabled in the configuration that ships, it can seemingly be switched off via the router's web dashboard (as can uPNP). Of course whether that actually does anything physically is another question entirely.

At least that's my experience in the time between the upgrade to fibre and going out and buying my own Netgear that I could configure how I wanted to and lock down (as my old ADSL one wasn't VDSL compatible).

Sysadmin hailed as hero for deleting data from the wrong disk drive

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

The placebo effect is just as applicable in tech as it is in medicine.

And if it "resolves" an issue, don't knock it...

Want to know what an organisation is really like? Visit the restroom

Anonymous Custard
Alert

Re: We need some ...

Although in the office bogs here there's mixer taps, which if the previous user has flowed hot water then proceed to flow residual hot water for a couple of seconds from the pipework even if you open the cold tap.

You very quickly learn to give it a moment between turning on the tap and actually putting your hands into the water stream, as the hot water heating here is all too efficient.

Flamin' Nora! Brit firefighters tackle blazing fly-tipped boat

Anonymous Custard
Mushroom

Re: I name this vessel...

Boaty McBurntface surely...?

NASA fix for Curiosity rovers's damaged drill: hitting it, repeatedly

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

My thoughts exactly, as an argent follower of it myself :) Very much the Scotty Principle in action.

For those who don't know what we're talking about -

https://youtu.be/t9SVhg6ZENw

America's forgotten space station and a mission tinged with urine, we salute you

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

Re: the final crewed mission of the Mercury programme

Maybe he should have honoured the tradition started by Gagarin of pissing on the tyre of the bus taking him to the Launchpad? Apparently it's now so ingrained as a lucky ritual that they all do it.

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/why-russian-astronauts-pee-on-a-bus-tire-before-launching-into-space-and-other-preflight-rituals

Anonymous Custard
Trollface

Re: Atari Space Shuttle

Nah, nothing beats the Skylab Landing Bay level on Manic Miner on the ol' speccy ;)

https://youtu.be/aOkV6b7IOJM

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

Re: I hope..

@Unicornpiss - there's some argument that people like Tim Peake, Chris Hadfield, Peggy Whitson, Luca Parmitano, Helen Sharman, Michael Foale and Sunita Williams would all class as such heroes. Or at least deserve to, as probably do anyone with the balls to sit on a large firework built by the lowest bidder and pork-barrel scraper.

Maybe not the pioneers that the Mercury, Gemini and Apollo guys were, but still risk takers (such as Parmitano almost drowning in space) and great ambassadors for space and science in general to the public.

And as the shuttle sadly showed twice, even with "mature" technology, they could still kill if things went wrong.

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

Re: the whole setup was pretty crude

As part of our work training we do a Kepner Tregoe Analysis course (problem solving, situation appraisal, that sort of thing) and one thing I learned was they used it during Apollo 13.

Went into quite some detail, and to understand quite how ingenious they had to be (and unfortunately how many self-created issues of incompatible hardware they had to overcome - square filters in round holes and suchlike) is fascinating to read. Those men truly earned their "steely-eyed missilemen" status.

Can't find the full one they shared with us, but the link below has an abbreviated version:

http://www.kepner-tregoe.com/case-studies/client-success-stories/aerospace-industry/an-abbreviated-use-of-problem-analysis/

Android devs prepare to hit pause on ads amid Google GDPR chaos

Anonymous Custard
Trollface

Re: Consent

So does this mean I might get ads for what I might actually want, rather than ads for stuff I just bought off the internet?

Wonders will never cease, what will they think of next...?

Perhaps adverts that don't play stupid inane tunes at full volume (especially the ones without a mute button) when the app you were using that spawned them was on silent/mute?

Your software hates you and your devices think you're stupid

Anonymous Custard
Joke

@AC a couple of posts up - Did you get it cheap from the estate of the dearly missed Douglas Adams by chance?

Just be glad it hasn't got an AI or personality option...

Anonymous Custard
Trollface

Re: There's an island somewhere...

I know the audience here :)

For your other question -

http://www.tech-lane.com.cn/first%20product.html

Seemingly available via eBay or several other auction sites.

Anonymous Custard

Re: There's an island somewhere...

I think my previous toaster came from there.

It was allegedly a 4-slice one, consisting of two long slots. Of course these slots were about an inch too short for two slices of bread laid landscape, and the depth was such that putting them portrait meant the top couple of inches poked out when it was toasting.

So either way around you always ended up with a band of untoasted bread at one end of one side on each slice.

Said abomination has now been replaced by a nice 4-slot twin toaster, and all is tasty and golden.

Fixing a printer ended with a dozen fire engines in the car park

Anonymous Custard
Trollface

Re: Don't wear high vis

Reminds me of an oddly ironic sight I once saw at the Solstice services near Stonehenge - a bunch of army squaddies in their usual full cammo fatigues, plus each with a high-vis vest (they were at the gas station topping up their landies).

Always struck me as a rather bizarre combination, and creased my missus up when I pointed it out to her.

Anonymous Custard
Flame

Re: Had the fire brigade called to a five star hotel, in Malta....

Had that here at work too, the microwave one.

We had a supply company install a vending machine for frozen microwave meals (which to be fair were actually almost edible) and alongside it a couple of microwaves for the heating-up thereof. These things were catering grade microwaves, somewhere in the region of 3000W or so.

But despite various notices etc of the fact, people also tended to use them for their brought-in stuff and just stick the times in that the packet said, regardless of the fact that those were for an 800W or so home microwave.

Cue regular and repeated fire alarms as various items were nuked and ended up blackened and smoking, or in one memorable case literally molten and on fire.

Needless to say neither the vending machine or the microwaves are here any more.

Did you guess 2019 for Intel's 10nm chip ramp up? Congratulations

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

Re: So that's 90 atoms wide with a 9 atom thick oxide layer.

It's equivalent to a 9 atom thick oxide layer, but it's a high-K material, not SiO2.

Hence physically it's rather thicker (and so less leaky), with the same electrical characteristics.

The Sun will blow up into a huge, glowing bubble of gas during its death

Anonymous Custard
Joke

Re: Star-lifting

It might also get a touch warm, although I guess you could do it at night ;-)

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

Re: Cute conversion: 40,000 Kelvin (~ 39,727 degrees Celcius)

Just be thankful that it's one of those rare publications that doesn't incorrectly call them degrees Kelvin...

Anonymous Custard
Trollface

Re: Forestry

Personally I plan to live forever.

So far, so good...

Admin needed server fast, skipped factory config … then bricked it

Anonymous Custard
Trollface

Re: Lightning icon required =========>

@SImon Hobson

I can't repeat some of his other tales - at least not in polite company !

So come on then, repeat them for us unruly and impolite commentards... :)

Blame everything on 'computer error' – no one will contradict you

Anonymous Custard
Joke

Maybe he's a former sailor who still goes for any port in a storm?

Anonymous Custard
Trollface

Re: One of those sounds like a computer error

And be honest, in that scenario how many would try to take out just a tenner to see if they'd actually swapped the fill over accidentally and put twenties into the tenner hopper too?

Then if a purple drinking voucher actually appeared out, spend the next several minutes slowly emptying it a "tenner" at a time...?

My PC is on fire! Can you back it up really, really fast?

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

Re: Not strictly IT, but ...

And did they like your practical demonstration of the star going supernova?

BOFH: But I did log in to the portal, Dave

Anonymous Custard
Trollface

Returns policy

Had this the other day on a bit of kit.

Nice piece of paper with the returns policy on it, telling me I had the right to return the device within 21 days if I was unsatisfied, as long as it's sealed and in its original packaging.

Yes, said piece of paper was inside the previously sealed box...

Blighty stuffs itself in Galileo airlock and dares Europe to pull the lever

Anonymous Custard
Joke

What they don't say is their system would be someone on a zero hours minimum wage contract with a 10-year old OS map, the road atlas from their car and a pair of army surplus binoculars...

Amazon and Netflix join Hollywood to lob sueball at 'Kodi' service SetTV

Anonymous Custard

Re: They're not suing Kodi

Maybe we should start referring to this place as "Chrome service The Register" or "Internet Explorer service The Register" (or whichever browser is your preference)? It's about as factually accurate.

Still (as a member of Team Kodi) it's heartening to see people here who know our stance concerning piracy (and lack of condoning or support for it), although it's equally saddening that it's comments and not the articles of this site who get it right rather than joining the gutter trash press in stooping to clickbait.

We don't make boxes (or indeed any kind of hardware kit, although a couple of items are licenced to use the logo) nor do we provide services or media. There's no such thing as an "official Kodi box", or indeed any kind of Kodi box. There are just boxes which other people have installed Kodi on and sold, again without any kind of endorsement from us.

SpaceX finally Falcon flings NASA's TESS into orbit

Anonymous Custard
Trollface

What duck?

The Hawthorne, California team will wing its way to Cape Canaveral, Florida on 4 May for the Bangabandhu 1 launch on the very first of the block fives.

OK admit it, how many other Pratchett fans first read that as Bangbangduc?

My Tibetan digital detox lasted one morning, how about yours?

Anonymous Custard
Trollface

Re: Other Spas are available

I'm sure many of the husbands also prefer it, so they can go down the pub for as long as they want with their mates...

Elon Musk's mighty erection fires sperm at orbiting space station

Anonymous Custard
Trollface

I'm now getting some rather enjoyable flashbacks of Servalan and "White Mischief"...

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

"SpaceX Shoots Star Semen Skyward Showing Surprisingly Satistfactory Space Sperm Sexual Suitability" surely...?

Excellent effort anyway though :)

Anonymous Custard

Re: LOHAN

I would say that's the best news I've seen in ages, except it's tinged with the sadness of remembering how much missed he and his great articles here are.

We definitely need a LOHAN launch in his memory and tribute. I can't believe it's 2 years either...

Sysadmin wiped two servers, left the country to escape the shame

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

Re: 300km?

Or for some of them around here, "into"...

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

Re: No shame in cocking up!

The true wisdom is not just to learn from your own mistakes, but to also learn from those of others to save you making your own in the first place.

At least that's my excuse for reading this section on a Monday morning (and On-Call on a Friday)... :)

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

Re: Incremental backups?

And of course you just wait for some minion to make an incremental back-up over the top of the full one, or to use the same tape for the full one each month and end up overwriting the historical archive once it gets too full.

BOFH: Give me a lever long enough and a fool, I mean a fulcrum and ....

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

Re: That would be twatsplaining then

Although from personal experience this and bossplaining may be synonyms...

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

Indeed, that and decruitment I think both are worthy additions to the lexicon...

Zucker for history: What I learnt about Facebook 600 years ago

Anonymous Custard
Trollface

Standard comment

The problem is that while standards enhance reliability and long-term development, they represent a standing target for serial disruptors.

It's the wonderful thing about standards, there are usually so many to chose from for any given topic...

User asked why CTRL-ALT-DEL restarted PC instead of opening apps

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

Re: Feeling Old...

And admit it, how many late night network crashes were triggered by DOOM and those two immortal codes - IDDQD and IDKFA.

It says something that it's a quarter of a century ago and I can still remember them instantly. And yes, I'm another dinosaur who knew both the DOS and D&D meanings of TSR without any need for explanation...

We sent a vulture to find the relaunched Atari box – and all he got was this lousy baseball cap

Anonymous Custard
Trollface

Re: Space oddity?

Just don't start writing odes to them... ;)

Anonymous Custard
Trollface

Re: I think

And then unfortunately got onto the wrong plane and ended up in some tax haven island without an extradition treaty...?

Anonymous Custard
Trollface

Re: Space oddity?

Given the branding and product history so far, it's unfortunately exactly what I was expecting...

Anonymous Custard
Headmaster

Space oddity?

Mike doesn't know lots of things about the AtariVCS – standing for Atari video computer system – which is odd because he's the exec in charge of it.

I wouldn't say that it's odd or uncommon - I know a lot of middle and occasionally senior managers in charge of projects that they know absolutely nothing about beyond the fancy PowerPoint buzzwords and maybe the title.

Of course this doesn't stop them claiming all the glory and taking the credit when they are completed...