* Posts by Stevie

7282 publicly visible posts • joined 12 Jun 2008

The SHOCKING storage truth: Everyone's buying spinning rust

Stevie

Bah!

Thanks for explaining ODM.

Now: WTF is a "hyperscale" data centre? I assume it is people like Google and Amazon, but when I assume ...

Bite my shiny metal Ask: Java for OS X crapware storm brewing

Stevie

Bah!

THAT'S where that fucking thing came from????!!!!

I assumed I had just forgotten to uncheck a box on an Adobe Acrobat Reader update splash screen.

Microsoft comes right out and says backup software is dead

Stevie

Bah!

But gosh, don't Redmond back up their cloud platters and wafers?

Or don't they think that the summer of 2003 could happen again, what with all the money poured hand over fist into the national grid infrastructure*?

* - Last accounting showed 18 dollars and 52 cents had been spent in the first quarter of 2013, but a review turned up three buttons, a five centavo piece and a washer in that tally"

FREAKing hell: ALL Windows versions vulnerable to SSL snoop

Stevie

Bah!

Crikey! All my saved Minesweeper and Freecell games are belong to Them.

UK spaceport, phase two: Now where do we PUT the bleeding thing?

Stevie

Re: Somewhere close to the equator, would seem like a good bet...

"I never really understood why they landed the main craft each time they returned to Space City when for most of their extra-terrestrial visits they used Junior and left the rest in orbit."

There are only two seats in Junior. Professor Matthew Matic needs to get out and stretch his legs too, you know, and the Lazoon needs to be let out for a crap sometime.

Stevie

Re: Somewhere close to the equator, would seem like a good bet...

So, what, Lizard Point then?

I dunno why we'd need runways. Everyone knows that British rockets will launch from a rocket sled riding on rails (possibly using maglev, but that was never explained in the show).

Can't wait to be issued with my flying motor scooter.

Stevie

Bah!

Sea Pauling.

Top Euro court ends mega ebook VAT slash in France, Luxembourg

Stevie

Bah!

"Too bad for Amazon, eh?"

Too bad for Amazon's customers, certainly.

I though the EU was incentivizing "green" measures - like not harvesting trees for paper needlessly. Sounds like someone didn't get Le Memo.

'Hi, I'm from Microsoft and I am GOING TO KILL YOU'

Stevie

Bah!

"... and dump them in the river!"

(my instant imagined response)

"And three months later you have to fish them out of your office when the monsoon comes and the river floods you out. Bit of an own-goal if you ask me."

Australia threatens to pull buckets of astronomy funding

Stevie

Bah!

Because deregulating universities so they can revitalize revenue streams worked so well in America and the UK.

Wait: Haven't both those educational structures imposed ruinous debt on the "educated" and caused a Damoclean financial crisis waiting to crash the World economy?

Lost WHITE CITY of the MONKEY GOD found after 500 years

Stevie

Re: We've been illed to death by the Mummy's cures

Upvoted for "Mummy's cures".

I'd buy you a beer if I wasn't so cheap.

Stevie

Re: Only Ill

Dammit, that's what posting from an iPad on the Register App with its itty-bitty comment typeface does for me.

Another triumph for technology and superannuated eyeballs.

Stevie

Bah!

Well not for nothing, I led a team to this very site about three and a half years ago.

We recovered a number of artifacts that hinted at an antediluvian history of the Earth not in accord with that of mainstream historians. Some of the carvings on one particular urn were ... disturbing, and many of the team suffered nighmares after viewing them.

Our doctor developed a pervasive feeling of being watched from the surrounding forest and began wandering off into the bush in search of his tormentors, costing precious time when search parties had to be sent to find him and bring him back to camp. During our second week on site he simply vanished.

Then we opened up a sealed wooden door and found a surprisingly well-preserved mummy of a reptilian humanoid. Such a repulsive sight did this being convey as it lay there on the massive stone slab that two of the team simply fainted dead away. Though dead for uncounted eons it seemed to exude a palpable miasma of malevolence. The nightmares that night were terrible.

No-one would work the next day, and I almost had an outright mutiny when I tried to insist we re-enter the tomb. I spoke calming words to my students and fellow Miskatonic professors that seemed to be calming things down when naturally the mummified horror from beyond time chose that precise moment to rise from the dead, emerge from its tomb and ill us all.

I congratulate the latest expedition on escaping a TPK.

£280k Kickstarter camera trigger campaign crashes and burns

Stevie

Re: Bah!

"This from somebody who lives in America."

Not just America, New York - reputedly the most litigious state in The Union. It's called "Irony in Action".

In point of fact you'll find in the Reg's comment pages that the overblown threats of or urging towards legal action almost universally come from English C-tards, because they usually only have the haziest idea how they work and think they are some sort of universal panacea vs whatever is bothering them.

Don't believe me. Start trawling the comments and check for yourself.

Don't forget to include yourself.

Stevie

Re: Bleen

Thank you , AC, for cheering me up. The FAQ on that idiotic Bleen page had me rolling around with laughter for several minutes. I particularly enjoyed the three sentences of verbage in response to "Do you have a working prototype?" which could have been replaced with the word "No", and the paragraph responding to "How does your device work?" that amounts to "not telling".

And the real answer to "Will Bleen work under the sunlight?" has to be "As well as it does in the pitch darkness".

And the watch had me almost peeing my pants, especially the photo of the guy with the Facebook alert projected on his hand - upside-down!

Stevie

Re: "or in the case of board games, you can end up getting it for down 30% of the price "

Not to mention stumping up money a year in advance to watch the delivery of one's copy held up for an unnecessary month so the game can be demoed and sold at Gencon first.

Stevie

Re: Bah!

" As Haje says, if they had stuck to the slightly clunky initial version there's a good chance it could've got shipped."

Thank you JDX. That is *exactly* what I was saying. Have an upvote.

Stevie

Re: Bah!

" If I were Haje (I'm not) I'd be inclined to see damages for spreading that kind of story."

And the English love of the lawsuit for no reason rears its head once more. I despair of my mother country sometimes.

So, to state the bleeding obvious: what else is a "complete rethink" but a whole new (and unfunded) new project? I know I said "new" twice but you missed the point the first time round.

As for your proxy legal threat:

My wife works for one of the more successful law firms in this neck of the woods. Bring it on. But bring your wallet. We take the civil suit seriously here in New York and believe strongly that the best defense for a lawsuit is a countersuit. ;o)

Stevie

Bah!

The anger here is righteous if it is born of wondering how one can back one project and have one's funds approppriated for a different one.

The kickstarters put their cash behind the original idea, warts'n'all. Using that money for "a rethink" was a) unprofessional and 2) bound to end in tears.

I mean, the term "scope creep" has sounded the very public death knell for many a government IT rollout for decades.

Upper house of Parliament joins the drone debate

Stevie

Bah!

Requiring proof of insurance and insisting on drones carrying the owner's name and contact information would be a good first step. That way, when Tommy Tw*tface flies his new toy through the windscreen of your new toy you can at least get the bugger paid for.

What? We should suspend discussion of personal liability in favour of circular arguments about privacy? Why not have both discussions at the same time so the first gets sorted before the heat death of the universe?

Apple Pay a haven for 'rampant' credit card fraud, say experts

Stevie

Re: SSN Guaranteed Unique

In what alternate universe are Social Security Numbers "guaranteed to be unique"?

Not in this one they ain't. I work at the sharp end of this and can state from actual knowledge gained at the expense of much pain, suffering and cries of "why me?" that the SSN is far from being guaranteed unique.

Even if you discount the possibility of fraudulent SSN coinage, latency in the SSA's system can cause perfectly legitimate applications to be granted the same number, or could, 15 years ago. To design systems that use SSN as a unique identifier is to be shown to be the sort of IT professional who should be forced to wear very large shoes on their feet and a red rubber ball on their nose.

I would hope that the latency issues have been addressed in the 15 years since I last investigated this, but nowhere will you find a statement to the effect that the SSN may be used by every Tom, Dick and Harry as a unique identifier without let or hindrance.

Stevie

Bah!

Goddammit! The social security number is not to be used for identification purposes other than by the social security administration. How many times do the witless f*ckers in banking IT need to have that screamed at them? And then, having decided to ignore that stricture, to only use less than half the digits?

Jesus f*cking Christ on a bike.

How in f*ck's name could this level of stupid be deployed in this day and age in light of what we as an industry have learned regarding electronic banking and the methods to subvert them?

To paraphrase the short guy from Game of Thrones:

Hands. Coal hammers.

The spy who leaked me: Ex-CIA boss Petraeus 'fesses up to blabbing intel to his mistress

Stevie

Bah!

Poor general Petraeus. From Saviour of Democracy to general Melchit in sparrow's fart time.

Sick of Chrome vs Firefox? Check out these 3 NEW browsers

Stevie

New browsers pop up all the time.

Never should have migrated away from gopher and wais.

Harrumph etc.

Stevie

Bah!

I hope Vivaldi can deliver, and do so safely, but I suspect that lurking within the mechanism that delivers the "infinitely customizable" bit will be many exploits.

I hope not. I'll switch to Vivaldi as soon as they have a road-ready release. I may not need 90% of the features but I've had it with the choices made on my behalf by the Big Three.

Forget 1,000 lashes for Facebook posts, Saudis now want to behead blogger Raif Badawi

Stevie

Bah!

Remind me again: Which person is accused of having brought shame on the state?

Is light a wave or a particle? Beaming boffins prove it's BOTH

Stevie

Bah!

"Professor Ben Eggleton of Sydney University's CUDOS research group explained that photons can be guided along a metallic wire in the form of plasmons (surface plasmon polaritons)."

I'm glad we cleared that up.

El Reg regains atomic keyring capability

Stevie

Bah!

Pfft! Real men yearn for the Polonium Initiator Medallion, available for a limited time from Putin Energy Overstocks.

"The Last Medallion You'll Ever Buy".

Tulsa woman bludgeons man mercilessly with laptop

Stevie

Bah!

Domestic Abuse and Lithium-ion Battery I think you'll find.

US military SATELLITE suddenly BLOWS UP: 'Temperature spike' blamed

Stevie

Bah!

Those SPECTRE bastards!

I, ROBOT ~ YOU, MORON. How else will automated news work?

Stevie

Bah!

Beep beep error beep

Don't pay for the BBC? Then no Doctor Who for you, I'm afraid

Stevie

Re: Worth every penny...

But ... Gordon Ramsay.

Live a day in the life of Jennifer Lawrence: Tell Reddit to delete your stolen nude selfies

Stevie

Re: Similar to "if you don't want to be robbed, don't carry anything valuable",

Not really. More like "If you want to vacuum your house in the nude, invest in good curtains".

Stevie

Bah!

I feel pretty safe from revenge porn/candid snap disseminators.

Mrs Stevie says that the last time she saw a bod like mine it was on top of the Empire State Building swatting aeroplanes.

Stevie

Bah!

Posting the pictures in the first place in an act of violence.

What people do with them behind closed doors is, well, harmless. No further damage to the depicted person is done.

And, although it is not popular in these PC times to say so, if you don't want your body to be shown all over the internet in a state of nakedness, don't take pictures of it in that state and if you do, don't use an internet connected device to do so and if you do, don't use an internet file dump "in the cloud" to backup your device and most definitely never show the pictures to anyone else no matter how deserving in any form other than the one hard-copy (hur-hur) you made yourself and will be taking back in a few seconds once the lucky viewer has said the right things. To do anything else is to see yourself on a website one day in all your glory.

Digital file sharing involves copies. I'm not sure why people do not "get" that. You might as well take your hot snaps down to Boots and have copies made.

Tim Cook: 'I'd call what's going on in fondleslabs a speed bump'

Stevie

Bah!

Wonder if Alistair Reynolds actually contacted MS with his complaint or just offered it to the internet so it could be fixed by osmosis as so many do?

Not that I'm a fan of MSOffice of late.

'Utterly unusable' MS Word dumped by SciFi author Charles Stross

Stevie

Re: WordGrinder

Windows users have Wordpad, though most of them don't remember to look for it. It has opened anything text-like I've pointed it at, though of course it won't render anything from markup.

I use Scrivener but it has a small number of visually stylistic nasties that get in the way of what *I* need it for sometimes. These are by way of unreconfigurable personal tastes so your mileage will certainly vary.

I also recommend the napkin-back whiteboarding tool Scapple for roughing out ideas. It *is* integrated with Scrivener and the two together are ridiculously useful. Scapple has a short'n'shallow learning curve too, because it was designed from the UI back.

As for the cost of Scrivener being a disincentive to using it, I got it for $40 and consider it money well spent. Scapple cost something like $14. If "free or nothing" is your mantra then you'll pass it by, but it will be your loss.

Stevie

re I work in an office full of people who don't know how to use it properly.

Most of the complaints I see about MS Word boil down to this and it's sub-heading "and can't see the reason to find out".

A good, if not relevant to the Stross Problem De Jour example is the oft-repeated canard about what a mess MS Word makes of generated web pages, with scads of inline styles all over the place. A simple and documented switch change will alter this behaviour and produce few unexpected lines of code in the final HTML, but it is obviously more fun to scream how awful MS is than try and learn how to use the product properly.

That said: MS have done themselves no favours with the recent UI revision. They seem to be working under the rule: "What do you do if there's a perception your product is hard to use? Make it ACTUALLY hard to use".

As for the venerable Mr Stross: If he can use OfficeLibre now, why not all along, and how does this make his pain go away? OfficeLibre is no better integrated into Scrivener than any other word processor (ask me how I know this).

I'm more confused because he was posting that he'd switched to iPad for all his productivity-production-processes and didn't know full product MS Word or OLWrite would run on ythe said platform. As a new iPad owner I'm eager to know that I can use a proper (and free) office suite on the device.

Stevie

Re: well that might be OK as an amateur

As I recall, author Piers Anthony uses all OSS for writing his novels. Maybe someone else drops it into Word later on, but he's certainly a professional writer.

And unless he's recanted several years of public statements, he wrote just about all his famous novels longhand on paper using a pencil. Certainly most of the Xanth stories, the Tyrant of Jupiter stuff and Macroscope.

At least, that's what he used to say before Windows XP.

I'm the wire starter: ARM, IBM tout plug 'n' play Internet of Stuff kit

Stevie

Re: Long term (Free?)server access?

Well, since we are talking access through a portable smart device aka telephone, why not revisit that old stand-by: dialback? You ask the device if you can have a conversation just like normal, but instead of the device taking your word that you are and suggesting a socket it calls the device back, establishing the full address for itself rather than accepting the one it is given.

Not useful for all cases, but as part of a portfolio of tools, not halfway bad from where I'm sitting.

Stevie

Bah!

All your fridge are belong to us.

Burning Man hackers get burnt

Stevie

Re: The burn

Of course you need a motorhome c/w food and water. You're going to be spending days in the f*cking desert.

Less telly, more camping trips. A bit of scouting or an outward bound trip or two wouldn't hurt either.

Azathoth's nebular nodes, is there anything more willfully stupid than a human being chasing a good time?

Stevie

Bah!

You need a ticket to parade around the Nevada desert dressed in a smile, wings and an Indian Warbonnet?

How counter-cultural!

*thinks* I wonder if they have a Hemulen to punch the tickets so no-one can have fun more than once?

Seven months of Basil Brush on YouTube: Er, boom boom?

Stevie

Bah!

Cue Titch and Quackers!

Stevie

Re:Burn the Heretic!

Agree! He needs a good sprinkling with Oofle Dust.

German music moguls slammed for 'wurst ever DMCA takedown spam'

Stevie

Bah!

Perhaps if it were illegal to ID a DMCA violation by any method other than a third party notification of dubious content?

Or that any DMCA take-down be authored by an actual breathing weasel-sorry-lawyer and delivered by snail mail? That way the torrent (sorry) of dubious e-bullying would be choked off, vital support would be given to the traditional mail carriers and costs of issuing these ridiculous demands would escalate to the point they would have to be meaningful before they got sent.

Plus, the lead-time would introduce a measure of common sense. What was the comment on ISIHAC? "I've seen continents move faster than my postman".

Not true in my neck of the woods, but I've had recent trouble with the overpriced underspeed Royal Post Office that suggests Humph was right with respect to The Reg's.

Fight fire with treacle I say.

Hawking thesp Eddie Redmayne and Snowden doc Citzenfour win Oscars

Stevie

Re: Bah!

Gotcha. And there was I thinking that the presenter was merely making (yet another) comment with respect to the lack of an avalanche of nominations wrt "Selma".

I stand corrected.

Stevie

Bah!

And speaking of man-in-the-middle hijacks I'm still trying to figure out how a movie about Edward Snowden invokes Dr Martin Luther King in any way, shape or form.

The finest weird people in the world live here, and we're proud of it

Stevie

Bah!

You forgot one major downside: Having to wear flowers in your hair.

Leaky battery attack reveals the paths you walk in life

Stevie

Bah!

So, if I read it right, to avoid being tracked you simply have to stay out of California and Israel.

Well, I call "SAFE"!