* Posts by Stevie

7284 publicly visible posts • joined 12 Jun 2008

Happy new year, VW: Uncle Sam sues over engine cheatware

Stevie

Re: Bah!

Firstly, I did not mention any unit of measurement in my post to which you are replying in shouty letters (or should that be "lettres"?).

Secondly, you may kowtow to the French and spell the word in their simpering effete fashion. We in America (Land of the Free) will spell it how we say it, which isn't often since we measure everything we care about - including our cheaper-than-water gasoline - in proper gallons. They aren't the same as British gallons (which is because we refuse to be bound by Imperialistic Units of Measure handed down by the condescending lackeys of King George III and which the British themselves cared so little about they allowed their fawning French-appeasing government to switch to using Johnny Foreigner units of measure), but the mile is not the same either so it all works out.

Thirdly, if you were as clever as you so obviously think you are you would know all of this already and not get so bent out of shape over something this petty.

Stevie

Re: Ah, let me tell you about the EPA.

Posted from a tent in Oregon?

Stevie

Bah!

Drag, drag, drag the Krauts

Screaming into court

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily

Life is such good sport.

Fans demand 'Lemmium' periodic table tribute

Stevie

Re: Yes, we do know why (lemmee atenner)

Myth as reported in the New Musical Express back when the name first became a thing with Hawkwind.

Get off my lawn, wikilad.

Anyone seen my DVD? Ohio loses disc holding 50,000 citizens' records

Stevie

Bah!

In other news, Congress still being thick over issue of "back doored" security, insisting that "only the government will have access to the keys".

With middle initial. On ten speed derailleur-equipped tourer.

Outfit throws fit, hits FitBit's hit kit with writ (Apple also involved)

Stevie

Bah!

Well, not in any way condoning the "no working model supplied" patent grant process, but one should remember that the reason that some beam engines had elaborate geared couplings between the beam and the flywheel was the existence of a patent - on the crank.

Yep, an English patent was granted for a device in common use on spinning wheels and potters wheels and lathes and Azathoth alone knows what else for decades.

Stick that in yer "prior art" pipe and smoke it.

Patents are demonstrably not doing the job for which they were invented, but pointing that out is now firmly in the field of Stating The Bleeding Obvious. What's needed is knowledgeable debate on how to fix things for the 21st century reality.

Half of UK financial institutions vulnerable to well-known crypto flaws

Stevie

Bah!

Kudos for the picture.

I can't remember my own cell phone number but the number to the Walmington on Sea church hall trips off the old brain any time I see a Dad's Army screenshot.

Walmington on Sea 333.

Curiosity Rover eyes Mars' creeping dunes

Stevie

Bah!

Stunning images indeed, but rather less inspiring science going on. Think how much time this "sand grain sorting" project would get in the press if we had a team of humans on planet.

*sigh*

Gotta dream.

Researcher criticises 'weak' crypto in Internet of Things alarm system

Stevie

Re: Alarm bells ar pointless, bins, setting/unsetting the alarm

But an alarm siren at earsplitting volume *inside* the house, coupled with flashing xenon strobe lights will make the burglar's job that much more difficult and exact a just toll on the bastards.

None of which needs an internet connection. Remote controls to the house are just another way for technology to interrupt me when I'm doing my life. My alarm calls the rozzers by itself. Let them deal with the situation and tell me about it when I get back from dinner.

Catching the person who blocks your driveway with bins doesn't require an internet connection either.

If you can't remember to set your alarm when you go out, there's no guarantee you'll remeber to check it over the web either.

And if you can't trust your partner with a kill code for your alarm system, you have issues the internet won't fix.

Admit it, Internet of Burgalar Alarms fanboys, you want it because it is shiny, not because it is useful. Don't come crying to El Reg when villains in stripped jerseys and masks hack your front door and have it away with your flatscreen and dolby 7.1 Surroundsound setup.

The NSA will have your killcode every time you use it too. At least they have to send a van with a cable TV imposter with a trad setup.

Stevie

Bah!

And in what universe does a remotely controlable burglar alarm make any sense, especially one controlled over the bleeing world wide web?

US Marines kill noisy BigDog robo-mule for blowing their cover

Stevie

Bah!

And yet another Star Trek tech project hits the reality wall.

Totally called this one last year.

It's amazing the UK Parliament agreed to track 22bn Brits' car trips. Oh right – it didn't

Stevie

Bah!

Simply cut the IT budget for these nosy cops. They'll soon find themselves having to re-use preciuos disc space like the rest of us, making them more selective in what they keep in their database.

Christmas comes early at US Patent office after massive IT outage

Stevie

Bah!

<mode= puzzled> But aren't the USPO computers powered by perpetual motion?

Robotic exoskeleton market to grow 40 per cent a year until 2025

Stevie

Bah!

"“Lower body exoskeletons, ..."

Techno-trousers, ex-NASA. What could go wrong?

Oklahoma bloke cuffed for Chrimbo caprine coupling

Stevie

Re: No Mug Shot?

Not in sets sold in Oklahoma.

Stevie

Bah!

Will no-one think of the kids?

After eight years, NASA's Dawn probe brings Ceres into closest focus

Stevie

Re:So this is okay?

If you work for the Fluff Writers of Goons Wonkshop it is.

Also okay for Spinal Tap lyrics.

Stevie

Bah!

Ceres-ly awesome stuff.

But gad, scientists can't write for the casual audience can they? It seems they only have two speeds: jargon and overblown.

But well done that team anyway.

When do I get to go take a look in person?

China wants encryption cracked on demand because ... er, terrorism

Stevie

Re: Steganography (Throatwarbler Mangrove)

"Wankerfy" ???? Seriously, Throatwarbler, one ponders someone's near impenetrable foolishness. For instance, no good shall occur 'less victims exercise new technology, surely?

Getting metal hunks into orbit used to cost a bomb. Then SpaceX's Falcon 9 landed

Stevie

Re: Coriollis effect causes more problems than etc

Bollocks. Citation please. The Coriollis effect can be debilitating at high rpm. Increase the radius, reduce the angular velocity and coriollis effect accordingly.

Fair disclosure: I've experienced it firsthand.

Stevie

Re: Bah!

"Has enough gravity - well, the ISS experiences about 90% of the gravitational force that we do on the surface - the thing is, it's in freefall - that's kind of required for an orbit..."

Yes I have an A level in Physics, I know how it works. You go on to show that you understood my point but were just oipening with the Git Gambit. I could volley back with "freefall? Doncher know there's no such thing? Those In The Know call it "microgravity" these days". But I won't.

[Windows] Who cares about grains of sand? The thing will be higher than most of the bleedin' space shrapnel zooming round the earth. OIt all comes from bits of spacecraft. 90% of which are in some variation of LEO. And we have the tech to address this, because we used it on Apollo, fortymumble years ago.

[Higher Orbit = more cost per lift] So what? The reason the ISS is in LEO is that we can't put it any further out. We have no booster capable of doing the job, nor, as you say, any booster capable of lifting people to it if we did. This is not a plus. Further out is better for all sorts of reasons, starting with research possibilities.

[NASA] NASA did what it could. actually, it didn't. Funding was cut and cut and cut. Look at the original plans for the cans-in-space ISS from the Clinton Persidency. Then look at what they've achieved in the intervening 16 years. A stunning testament to the Can-Do ethic. Not.

Stevie

Bah!

"if we had to throw away an aircraft every time it flew, then flying would be a very rare and expensive occurrence"

If we used airframes and engines in an aircraft as hard as we do those in a rocket this old saw would be forgotten instead of written on a post-it stuck to the computer monitor of every single press commentator on rocketry.

The shuttle proved many things in its lifetime, among them that the cost of refurbishment is much higher than the cost of throw-away when only considering the out of pocket expenses. I predict this will not be different for the definitely amazing Space X first stage (hey, it lands like a rocket should land).

" allowing rich idiots the chance"

Until access to space for everyone is a reality, no-one will be able to drum up much enthusiasm in the payers-of-taxes that fund all this sort of stuff.

Personally, it is all over for me, but it could still be possible for my kid to see space from inside it. I support any effort that gets us closer to that, because ordinary people in space is better than a select few of those with The Right Stuff any day of the week.

Why should the first footprints on Mars be made by someone with a doctorate degree rather than anyone else? It took NASA long enough to twig about sending geologists to do geology on the Moon. The best sort of person to be on Mars might very well be a plumber or an electrician given the need to get life-supporting stuff fixed-up with a radio lag back to Mommy Central anywhere from 4 to 24 minutes.

You may judge resupply of the NEO shed of political off-showery to be more important, but I don't see much work being done on how to engineer a proper space station on the ISS. Lots of science, but little practical technology that shifts the paradigm.

A proper space station would house people without the need for excessive special training. It would have enough gravity to make life relatively simple and provide proper windows so the visitors could see why they built the damn thing in the first place.

And it should float higher than a gnat's whisker away from the atmosphere, so it doesn't need so much shoving to keep it aloft. Which means we need better lifting engines so people can get there.

No, drone owners – all our base are belong to US, thunders military

Stevie

Bah!

Couldn't the FAA get the drone owner database info directly from the NSA?

Java 9 delayed until Thursday March 23rd, 2017, just after tea-time

Stevie

Re: Friends don't let friends install Java.

"But there is nothing wrong with using Java as a normal programming language, like for server applications or even on desktop."

You mean other than the need for a JVM for it to run inside.

Personally I'm sick and tired of meeting Java applications on the desktop since the first thing I have to do is recognize which Microsoft standard UI behaviors and practices have been getting the programmer's goat for years so I can alter my expectations and habits to allow for (from memory of real examples) Hot Keys that don't do what they do even on Unix terminals, window sizing button positions, scroll bar behavior and so forth - pointless and annoying crap that doesn't help get the UI into the background of my perception where it belongs so I can do my job.

And don't get me started on my feelings about the "just so good and no further" attitude that means screens don't refresh properly when displaying dynamic information (on Unix or Windows), or the Java Programmer habit of believing a three yard long execution stack trace is a suitable substitute for a five inch error message.

But of course, that is a cultural thing, not a language shortcoming.

Facepalm time: MS Office update wipes custom Word autotext

Stevie

Bah!

Work around: simply enter your tardis ...

How to log into any backdoored Juniper firewall – hard-coded password published

Stevie

Bah!

Amazing! That's the combination to my luggage!

Iranian hackers targeted New York dam, had a quick nosy around

Stevie

Bah!

Still not clear on how monitoring my phone calls and e-mails helped prevent this from happening.

Windows for Warships? Not on our new aircraft carriers, says MoD

Stevie

Re: Bah!

Yep, that was one source of angst in the days when card manufacturers were less than timely with the drivers. MS got more aggressive about the issue and gradually, it went away.

Like I say, I've seen exactly two XP bluescreens since 2000. My Win7 laptop has NEVER bluescreened.

But then, I don't fit it with any old crap I can find free on Teh Intarweb. I only run mature software that is ready for primetime (or as ready as it will ever be). Yes, a couple of these have crashed unexpectedly in use, but significantly they didn't take the OS with them.

Even crappily-written games don't take the OS down the rabbit hole like they used to in the pre XP days.

I don't doubt if you are in the business of driver writing you will stand a good chance of seeing the OS crash, but sitting in your living room working? Nah.

The BSOD is now something for Linux software vendor-owned techs who don't know any better to trot out into an embarrassed audience silence.

Stevie

Bah!

Oh Paul, you couldn't resist. But making remarks about BSODs on XP and later MS Windows systems only shows you to be hopelessly out of touch. The only time I saw a BSOD on my work workstation was due to a chip going nails-up. I did see one on my home system when the Symantec AV nagware turned out to be unfit for purpose.

BSODs are rare animals now, and have been for more than a decade. Waving them in people's faces just says "I have no idea what I'm talking about right now".

Other than that, nice follow-up.

Apple anoints the new new Steve Jobs

Stevie

Re: Bah Humbug!

You use your title in the box, I'll use mine.

Stevie

Re: Bah!

No I don't have any other streaming apps activated. I have over 85 gigs of music in the device. Why in Azathoth's name would I need to stream anything?

Every few wakes-up the music app wakes to Beats or Apple Radio or whatever lame fucking name they called it this week. I wish to fuck they'd just put back the GUI the bloody thing had when I bought the iPad, which was easy to use in a car during red light pauses. Now I can't easily use the damn thing while sitting on my couch.

But boy is it easy to access the unwanted streaming crapola.

Stevie

Bah!

Personally I wish Apple would stop pushing their cloud service and streaming music at me at every oportunity. Since the last update every time I wake certain apps I get a warning that I haven't connected to my (non-existent) iCloud account, and the music player periodically wakes up showing me the unwanted streaming music service screen instead of my collection of over 85 gig of uncloudy music.

Stevie

Re: Apple coverage is almost universally amusing

When a product costs the down payment on a small car I expect it to last and work a damn sight longer than two years. My kid's iPad set me back almost a grand.

The Firewall Awakens: ICANN's exiting CEO takes internet governance to the dark side

Stevie

Bah!

But if everyone is fenced-in and forbidden to say or read stuff, how will the government mega-scrape their communications into Preston?

T'was the night before Christmas, and an industrial control system needed an upgrade

Stevie

Re: copy editor already on holiday?

There's a right way to report typos and markup problems at El Reg, and there's your way.

Do you seriously think copy editors have the time to read these comments?

At least 10 major loyalty card schemes compromised in industry-wide scam

Stevie

Bah!

At what point do the information hoarders of the western world get a clue and start encrypting the bloody data? All of the data.

Since they can't stop it wandering the sodding least they could do is to make it unreadable.Yet no-one does.

I'm surprised the Chechnyan teens bother with such trivia when the Preston Megastore is sitting there likely with its thighs apart saying take me for all I've got big boy.

Lower video resolution can deliver better quality, says Netflix

Stevie

Bah!

Oh great. So now Netflix will present me with a frame smaller than my TV giving me the choice of squinting or telling the device to fix things and buggering up the aspect ratio or cropping the picture.

So much for 21st century "technology".

Windows' authentication 'flaw' exposed in detail

Stevie

Wouldn't you fly that?

I'll take a two day drive in a vehicle I know over the nonsensical bread-and-circuses check-in horseshirt, baggage limitations and need to hire a car at the other end (c/w Orlando's ridiculous views on airport tax zones) every single time.

You are free to wander shoeless through the x-ray machine with one checked bag included in the ticket price, and deal with the shuttle bus if you want.

Me, I'll vote with my feet and do my part to drive the airlines and airport management vendors into sense-inducing bankrupcy.

Stevie

A visa is permission to enter, remain on,

Not in the USA it ain't. The visa get you in the door. What keeps you in the country is the I94.

Not to be confused ith the I95, which gets you from New York to Disney World.

FireEye flamed: A single email will grant total network access

Stevie

Bah!

Well, if you name products the same way Bond movie villains name thier secret terror weapons, what do you expect?

Lettuce-nibbling veggies menace Mother Earth

Stevie

Bah!

Well, yes, Bacon Doortseps == Damfinething, and crisp lettuce == boring unpleasant and nasty tasting ordeal for most people (or why the huge market for "salad dressings").

But then there's the Great North Carolina Pigshit Lakes to factor in.

(http://www.upworthy.com/a-drone-flew-over-a-pig-farm-to-discover-its-not-really-a-farm-its-something-much-more-disturbing)

GOP senators push FCC to kill support for local broadband

Stevie

Bah!

The correct response to the demand for the sum spent on public broadband is to ask how much money the broadband suppliers have funded each candidate in the coming brouhaha.

How to build a real lightsabre

Stevie

Bah!

Fools! The problem is not containing or limiting the length of the blade, nor in making it go through anything except another blade. Those issues are laughingly simple to solve for the three most common colors. I have a proof of the math involved but don't have room for it here.

The real problem, the only problem is in slowing down laser blaster rounds so you have time to block them!

Assange inquisition closer after Sweden, Ecuador sign pact

Stevie

Bah!

In the TV Miniseries Sir Kenneth Branagh will pontificate gloomily on various existential themes for an hour and a half while Benedict Cumberbatch counter-pontificates on various half-formed and ironic ideas on freedom and accountability, all in glorious desaturated monochrome.

Last one up their own fundament wins.

Samba man 'Tridge' accidentally helps to sink request for Oz voteware source code

Stevie

Bah!

The description in the article of how the votes transfer with respect to making/not making quota must be a misprint because in its current form it matches the typical database programmer's grasp of exception handling: Issue command, test return status, carry on regardless. In this case it is Test to see whether votes meet "quota" spec, then do the same thing whatever the answer.

I guess this is a variant of STV as deployed in my old Alma Tomata the University of Controversial Climate Debate E-Mails. In my defense we still thought Glomar Challenger was scooping the seabed for Manganese nodules in them days rather than other people's crashed nuclear submarines. They were kinder times, when people got information from big buildings filled with "books", long before some idiot invented the internet and Facebook and the never-to-be-sufficiently-damned e-mail.

Where was I? Oh yes, Australia's (presumably) STV counting software.

I'm surprised *anyone* could make money off software to do the counts since I can envisage the Perl script needed as I type and I'm a piss-poor Perl programmer. I dunno if Perl could handle the sheer size of the counts offhand, but the idea would be sound in any language and I know at least one company's Cobol has a datatype that would suit.

This would seem to be a job so trivial Bob the Teaboy could do it, and I wouldn't mind betting that's who actually did given the results (anecdotally) reported.

Rupert Murdoch wants Google and chums to be g-men's backdoor men

Stevie

Bah!

Has anyone explained to Mr Murdoch that his privacy would likely be one of the first to be violated given his past behaviour?

NZ unfurls proposed new flag

Stevie

Bah!

Bloody ingrate antipodean mutinous dogs! How dare they flaunt their childish throwing off of the guiding hand of Benevolent British Rule?

Time to show them the Iron Fist in the Iron Glove!

Social media snitching bill introduced into US Congress by intel bosses

Stevie

Bah!

"No-one who looks like a ventriloquist will be admitted"

Flann O'Brien

The Best of Myles

Aurous shutters for good, will pay $3m damages

Stevie

Bah!

Another strike against The Internet of Twats.