* Posts by Stevie

7282 publicly visible posts • joined 12 Jun 2008

Researcher says fixes to Windows Defender's engine incomplete

Stevie

Bah!

I just built out a new Win 7 Pro machine. Got the rollup to install but now it howls about needing updates to defender and complains it has never installed an update of any kind.

If Intell it to go find the updates I get the same 51% cpu wheelspin I had for a year on another Win 7 machine that only cleared when the big Win10 update was pushed out a few months ago.

I reckon the update telemetry database we all know is secretly in the path is swamped with 24x7 Win10 out-rattage operations.

Fear the dentist? Strap on some nerd goggles

Stevie

Re: Bah!

Good for you Shadow Systems.

I had to have a problem tooth excavated by a specialist. "it's got to come out and we can't do the job" said Doc Tugmolar.

Endodontist's PA asks me if Inwant a general anesthetic. "Will my insurace cover it?" I ask dubiously (US dental insurance even being what it is I was not sanguine).

"Oh yes! There's a copay of sixty dollars for the entire procedure that covers everything."

"Then of course I want a general. Who on Earth would want to be awake for this sort of thing?"

It was great. Sit down, wake up, go home.

Stevie

Bah!

OR, you know, anesthetics.

It's 2017 and someone's probably still using WINS naming. If so, stop

Stevie

Bah!

Obvious troll is obvious.

Currys PC World given a spanking for misleading laptop savings ads

Stevie

Bah!

"There are lies, damned lies, and Currys PC World Special Offers."

Winston Churchill. Overheard while fighting on the beaches by Lady Astor.

Uncle Sam █████████ cloud so much, AWS █████████ it another kinda-secret data center

Stevie

Bah!

Just as long as my bandwidth for "Expanse" on Amazon Prime isn't scavenged for Drone Mission 12A73-551 I don't care.

It has been obvious that the US govt had a "special relationship" with Amazon since my tax rebates started being offered as Amazon gift cards. This is true, by the way, not a joke.

Telegram chat app founder claims Feds offered backdoor bribe

Stevie

Re: Secure Chats

The gypsy mutant industrial vacuum cleaner dances about a mysterious night time camp fire.

Stevie
Joke

Re: Now THAT's what I call encryption.

That's what I call encoding.

Because I know the difference.

The rain in Staines goes mainly down the drains.

I still haven't found what I'm malloc()ing for: U2 tops poll of music today's devs code to

Stevie

Bah!

I use music to shut out the noise in the office when I'm serious about what I'm doing.

I prefer something that doesn't grab my attention for this so normally it has to be instrumental and not avant-garde in rhythm changes.

Lately this has been stuff like movie soundtracks for LOTR, Star Trek, Alien and the Myst game soundtracks. Other faves include the soundtrack to Enemy at the Gate (but that one is too distracting sometimes) and the sountracks done by Peter Gabriel. At the end of the 90s I wrote a massive web-delivered utility to the music of Sky (as yer Mum) and Mecca Bodega (a NY local world music band with a killer Hammered Dulcimer player who seems to get paid by the note).

Commute music has been Glass Hammer, Dream Theater and just recently Mark Knopfler and King Crimson. I like to change stuff up and have around 800 albums ranging from 1930s Hot Jazz to Electronic Minimalist on my laptop to choose from.

Hotel guest goes broke after booking software gremlin makes her pay for strangers' rooms

Stevie

Re: similar guarantees on debit card

Apparently not: The poor woman's account was drained AND legit transactions bounced before she was alerted to the issue.

But that's okay. Spend your own money if you want. It's a free world (until the fees kick in).

This whole argument is bewildering to me.

Who will save us from voice recog foolery from scumbags? Magnetometer!

Stevie

Re: Strawman

No Charles, what I'm doing is saying you are talking rubbish and giving you a chance to make me eat my words by PROVING me wrong.

Yes you could just fake the said video from anouther source, but that would only prove to you that you can fake a video, and in all likelihood that would take longer and be fundamentally less interesting than the experiment you claim as old science.

You were the one saying this could be done, implying that the task was simpler than cutting some plastic with a hacksaw, and could be done with readily available materials.

I say that's pure, unadulterated bollox and suggested a way you could change my mind.

As expected, you are taking the Clever Young Thing Path and appealing to preponderance of opinion. You quite rightly state that I will not accept those sources as conclusive.

So, to be clear: You do this on camera in a way that makes the footage uambiguous and allows me to duplicate your method (so I can see if it works for me; you know, science), and that being so I will say here and anywhere else you choose that you are right and I am wrong.

It's okay. I won't hold my breath. We both know where this is going.

The crack a window advice was a suggestion to avoid your breathing in the fumes as you steal the car.

Stevie

Re: That's what beat "The Club".

Sorry Charles. Video (with timecode) of you doing it or disbelieve. Best crack a window too.

Stevie

Re: That's what beat "The Club".

You don't steal the sort of car protected by The Club (or The Krooklock) to "fence it".

You steal it so you can chop it and sell the bits, the least valuable one being the steering wheel.

But go ahead. Let's see which is faster to do in real life (as opposed to in the movies): Cut a small slot in the steering wheel, or freeze the lock cold enough to shatter the innards without just making the entire thing seize solid just as the can runs out of juice (or cools so much the pressure drops to a negligible value, thermodynamics being what they are).

Stevie

Re: That's what beat "The Club".

Refrigerant? Really?

Young people today, always looking for the most expensive and complicated answer to a problem.

In my day the tea leaves just cut a small slot in the steering wheel with a hacksaw.

Jailed fraudster admits running same cold-caller con from behind bars

Stevie

Hah,take his fingers off then..

That's how the Muslim extremists deal with the problem isn't it? And we call them animals for doing so, don't we? If we don't, we should.

If you want revenge and repayment rather than any semblance of punitive rehabilitation, just do what the Chinese were reportedly doing back at the turn of the century (I love getting to say that) and chop him for his organs.

For whatever reasons (and I think those cannot be generalized into a one-size-fits-all-perps soundbite) death penalties and threat of mutilation do not seem to be deterrents with respect to the crimes that call for them.

Were I pressed to say why (my previous comment notwithstanding) I'd suggest that the criminal mindset does not worry overmuch about consequences, only potential wealth gain.

Stevie

Bah!

See dictionary entry for "incorrigible".

Why not equip his cell with an old-style telephone and send him automated calls at random times after lights-out? If he picks up, have a recorded voice tell him his Vinodws are loading viruses to the internet.

Hundreds stranded at Manchester Airport due to IT 'glitch'

Stevie

Bah!

Prediction: Some clever young thing decided that the change was too simple to require testing and deployed straight from desktop to production environment sans QA.

Discredit a journo? Easy, that'll be $55k. Fix an election? Oh, I can do that for just $400k

Stevie

Bah!

"The techniques and methods used to spread fake news and manipulate public opinion have a wide range of objectives and even a price list."

Well duh!

This "news" comes about as "news" only because clever young things especially in the press must rename things that have been a fact of life forever in order to sound clever and de mode.

Hence the Agitprop of the fifties and sixties becomes the shiny new "fake news" of the 201xs (pronounced twen-teens if you want to sound clever and de mode).

And someone got paid to do a study to show the otherwise bleeding obvious fact that one may use fake news or, as we used to call it in the generic case, "lies" in a wide variety of unscrupulous applications.

Never since those pro-Brexit posters promising millions of quids were bought for sticking on buses has anyone spent so much money so wisely for such good effect.

Raspberry Pi sours thanks to mining malware

Stevie

Bah!

Nonono, this has been disproved on any number of El Reg comment threads per various nice Mac users; malwear and virus writers only target inferior machines with inferior operating systems. Sheer target count is of no importance whatsoever.

DXC Technology puts reluctant office movers on naughty step

Stevie
Pint

Re: Bah!

Very cool. You and the young lady wot spoke previous can each have an e-beer on me.

I'm currently sporting a Nigel Green CSB full set on account of me and the wife doing a bit of Victorian Steampunk Cosplay at the last Lunacon, me in the red coat, white pith helmet and equipped with the finest appropriate heavy ray gunnage, Mutinous Martians for the Zapping Of, she in a nice deep blue ensemble c/w my patent dimensional stabilizing clutch purse, Timetravellin' Amorous Kidnapper Swine for the Foilin' Of.

Lots of green lightning. Weird Science should glow green and have lightning in it.

Stevie

Bah!

Good to see that in the post-brexit UK they've at long last fallen out of love with that ridiculous "telecommuting" fad.

Now all they have to do is get rid of these "cubicles" and everyone can work in an office that resembles a large schoolroom like they did in 1960.

Can it be long before cloudy "computing as a service" returns us to the "one terminal in an office of twelve people" days?

Red jackets and pith helmets all round! Mark yer target and let's have a couple of verses of "Men of Harlech"! Colour Sergeant Bourne! Form a flying platoon at once! The Empire is rebuilding itself by sheer willpower!

Boeing preps pilotless passenger flights – once it has solved the Sully problem, of course

Stevie

Re: This isn't news

I don't think anyone who can remember the slew of recent "issues" with various automated space probes could say that human pilots look bad when compared with automation systems and keep a straight face.

Airlines complain they have too many pilots and won't hire. Boeing claims too few and wants to put the same sort of system in the cockpit of the next flight from Heathrow to JFK as piloted the Martian Core Or Bust mission. Who to believe?

Stevie

Bah!

Stupidest idea ever.

I fought Ohm's Law and the law won: Drone crash takes out power to Silicon Valley homes

Stevie

Re: No True Scotsman

Missed the point, powernumpty.

So tgere are now two classes of drone owners? The ones who cause all the problems, and the ones who raise their hands and say "no one of us" while decrying how lumpen non-drone owners are calling for "unworkable" laws.

Self-police the hobby by being more inclusive or suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous legal restraint.

Stevie

Bah!

And the more idiots who ignore common sense when playing with these stupid machines, the more ridiculously baroque the laws governing their use will become.

So:

DRONE OWNERS! STOP BLAMING THE LUMPEN NON-DRONE OWNERS FOR THE LAWS SPRINGING UP AROUND YOUR HOBBY AND START YELLING AT THE IDIOTS IN WITH THE IN-CROWD!

We're not saying we're living in a simulation but someone's simulated the universe in a computer

Stevie

Bah!

Yesyesyes, Fred Pohl did the whole "we are simulations" thing back in the 1940s.

Now, how about stop piddling around with computer games, buckling down with the slide rule, doing some proper science & inventing a proper hyperdrive so we can go out and have a look for ourselves at the real thing instead of guessing?

*Then* you can expect people to say you are clever.

Record number of non-EU techies coming to Blighty

Stevie

Bah!

But I thought Brexit was all about keeping out Johnny Foreigner.

Donald Trumped: Comey says Prez is a liar – and admits he's a leaker

Stevie

Bah!

And yet there is the disgraceful business of the Russian Briefing in The Oval Office.

Something stinks and it ain't on my shoes. I checked.

Please do not scare the pigeons – they'll crash the network

Stevie

Re: The mystery of the internet that only worked when in the dark. 4 DJ Smiley

I once had a job at a machine tool manufacturer. We used an antiquated ICL 1901T connected to terminals via 7502 remote processors each about the size and shape of a large stereo receiver of the time. One of the 7502s was right at the 300 ft limit ICL put on the cabling, which required me to go down to the spares department each morning and sit twiddling a gain control while Dan the Operator attempted time and again to run the teleload of the O/S past the induced noise from radios, street lamps and Azathoth alone knows what else picked up by that cable. It must've been like trying to talk to someone during a Hawkwind concert in full swing. Fun times.

Anyway.

We had one terminal which was hooked up via another very long wire (VLW), about 100 feet or so, that ran across the machine shop to another of these 7502s. Should anyone power down the factory (eg during August Bank Hols), when they powered it back up again we'd take two crashes. One for the WWII-era shop lights when they came on, and a few minutes (and a teleload) later one for all the bloody six-spindle machine tools waking up at full speed at the same time.

We tried all sorts of things but that VLW was acting like an aerial and the lights and machine tools were as EMF noisy as a bleeding quasar.

Stevie

a flight of fancy.

Peckerhead.

Stevie
Pint

Bah!

Beer for everyone + dog.

Entirely believable and entertaining mystery SA story.

How on earth did it get printed in this column?

Oh no, Silicon Valley! Failed startup CEO on fraud rap after allegedly bullsh*ting staff and refusing to pay them

Stevie

Bah!

By Jove this was a fiendishly clever plan that would have worked had it not been actually attempted in real life.

The harsh reality of Apple's augmented reality toolset ARKit: It's an incredible battery hog

Stevie

Bah!

Augmented Reality is Fake Views! Sad!

What a tit! Uber CEO hijacks his staff breast-pump room to meditate

Stevie

4MikeMoyle

Ah Mike, you missed a really neat edit of your excellent post. My version:

Uber CEO

Sitting in an empty room

Room remains empty.

Which is poor, I know, but shows the potential.

Stevie

Bah!

I'll just adjust the clickbait headline for you:

UBER CEO MEDITATES FOR A BIT IN OTHERWISE EMPTY ROOM.

Forcing digital forensics to obey 'one size fits all' crime lab standard is 'stupid and expensive'

Stevie

Bah!

For fuck's sake stop whingeing and whining and just do the bloody paperwork like everyone else!

Amazon pulls snouts from all-you-can-eat cloud storage buffet

Stevie

Bah!

I have the answer: Zip Drives.

Stevie

Re: Why not?

Agree. A couple of 4TB WD My Passport Ultras, a simple-as-piss script and you are set. Switch one drive out for a new one every couple of years or so if you are super paranoid.

With three drives you could keep a backup in a safety deposit box too along with your Krugerrands, original copies of the Declaration of Independence of the United States of America, your Secret Bavarian Illuminati membership certificate and the secret gnash-words gifted to you and you alone upon joining The Dennis the Menace Fan Club (incorporating Gnasher's Fang Club).

Stevie

Re: Stenography?

Isn't steganography the study of the anatomy of dinosaurs?

Stevie

Re: Luddite here.

Your house burns down you have larger concerns than the demise of your holiday snaps at which you never glanced in Lo! the last decade.

There's all your MTG cards and your Star Wars action figure collection and your signother's wardrobe of shiny lingerie weekends for the brightening up of and your spider plant and your favorite reclining armchair and the stereo system and the flatscreen TV and all your vinyl records and CDs and your McNallly Grand Strumstick and the Nintendo consoles and your prized library of NES and SNES games and the painting you stole from Picasso, the lovely list goes on and on. Yes it does. Ahahaha.

Oh, and the roof over your head of course.

Paxo trashes privacy, social media and fake news at Infosec 2017

Stevie

Bah!

Well, you get what you paid for.

Most vulnerabilities first blabbed about online or on the dark web

Stevie

Bah!

Big surprise. Not.

Ex-SpaceX avionics tech loses safety certificate-forging wrongful dismissal lawsuit

Stevie

Bah!

Unclear: defendant or expert witness paranoid?

Infosec guru Schneier: Govts will intervene to regulate Internet of Sh!t

Stevie

Bah!

OUR govt is gonna fix the Internet of Bots? Seriously? That bunch understand the problem less than the consumer does.

The way this gets fixed is by a clandestine program to infiltrate and bork insecure kit. Read Amazon reviews for the real driver of consumer choice. They buy cheapest, it breaks, they cry and do it again. It breaks, they repeat. It breaks and they finally go upmarket a bit. They repeat the whole saga until kit is reliable.

Legislation to fix the internet of tat? You are living in a cheap chinese knockoff of AR.

HPE ignored SAN failure warnings at Australian Taxation Office, had no recovery plan

Stevie

Bah!

So what you are saying is that basicslly everyone at the ATO failed their SAN rolls?

Right then. D6 phobias for everyone.

Senator blows a fuse as US spies continue lying over spying program

Stevie

Bah!

Eventually the damn database will be so big it will cease to be of any real use since the signal to noise ratio will be miniscule.

State senator sacked by broadband biz Frontier after voting in favor of broadband competition

Stevie

Re: I dont get Americans... 4 CrazyOldCatMan

20 grand is below the poverty line, even in Virginia.

It is also a big sign saying Will protect your interests for a reasonable sum pinned to each and every senator upon election.

Stevie

Re: West Virginians...

Northern agression?

Are you suggesting that Fort Sumpter was a False Flag affair?

You should tweet that to OPOTUS so we can all get a belly laugh from the retweet and the Fox News transcripts the next day.

US spook-sat buzzed the International Space Station

Stevie

Bah!

Ordered by OPOTUS to check for Mexicans hitching a free ride.

ESA astronaut decelerates from 28,800kph to zero in first bumpy landing

Stevie
Pint

Re: Bah! 4LDS

"That would have not happened but in an 'emergency' situation."

One needs to remember the time period, and the fact that in the days of Vostock, Voshkod and the earliest Soyuz shots, the Americans were playing catch-up, the people were paranoid and there was the usual overblown speculation from the engineering hoi-poloi speculating on the advanced science the Soviets were using (See: Popular Mechanic & the Soviet Atomic Powered Bomber of the 1950s etc)

I don't want to antagonize you, and the US has been my home for most of my life now, but I think you are kidding yourself when you assert the US wouldn't have salivated over a Soyuz bobbing around near one of their fleets. I'm not saying an incident would have been provoked, but a close-up examination of the craft would have been a top priority. It would be interesting to know which NATO aircraft carriers were sailing and where they sailed each time a Soviet manned mission was in progress.

Given the reaction typically afforded Soviet citizens who had unsupervised contact with The West, the Cosmonauts wouldn't have welcomed "rescue" anyway in all likelihood. Besides, they were and are patriots too, and willing to make the ultimate sacrifice gulag or no gulag.

If you look up the Apollo/Soyuz mission write-ups, you'll find that the Astros report being astounded at how primitive the tech the Cosmos had to live with was once the hatch to the adaptor module was popped. That was the true wonder of the mission happening at all - that each side was willing to let the other have a close up look, warts 'n' all.

Have a digibeer. Would that it could be real, and an evening spent discussing the golden age of the space race in some mutually agreeable hostelry.