* Posts by Stevie

7282 publicly visible posts • joined 12 Jun 2008

Game of Thrones author's space horror Nightflyers hitting telly

Stevie

Bah!

Things I'd like to see picked up as Mini-Series:

Dragonflight Anne McCaffery

Nova Samuel R Delany

Time for the Stars Robert A Heinlein

Jack of Shadows Roger Zelazny

Forever War Joe Haldeman

Mars Ben Bova

Ringworld Larry Niven

Babel-17 Samuel R Delany

Lord of Light Roger Zelazny (Greatest movie-style ending ever)

Rendezvous with Rama Arthur C Clarke. (There be sequels.)

Nine Princes in Amber Roger Zelazny (and the four "Corwin" sequels)

Heliconia Spring, Summer, Winter Brian Aldiss

Star Smashers of the Galaxy Rangers Harry Harrison (too clever to ever be done, really)

West of Eden Harry Harrison (two sequels)

The Martian Chronicles Ray Bradbury (A decent faithful remake please)

Stevie

Bah!

"The best science-fiction horror since Alien."

Which makes it automatically the best science-fiction horror since "Coeurl".

What?

Wait! Before you fire up that HP lappy, check the battery

Stevie

Bah!

I imagine many flame wars now infest HP forums.

Jocks in shock as Irn-Bru set to slash sugar and girder content

Stevie

Bah!

IRN BRU Classic?

I don't care. I prefer the refreshing taste of Fizzy-Bubbly.

Wannabe W1 DOW-er faked car crash to track down reg plate's owner

Stevie

Re: Bah!

If you are downvoting the "DETHTUNG" thing, you need to google "Billy and the Boingers".

DETHTUNG doesn't mean what you might think it does.

Stevie

Bah!

The UK plate system is idiotic and outdated anyway. The British idea of a "personalised plate" is laughable as a result.

The DMV should have realised the market for properly personalised plates years ago and begun a project to make it happen so it could be monetised.

And before anyone feels the need to explain, I understand how the UK plates "work", and the difference in the way they are allocated to that of the USA. I owned cars in the UK for over a decade and once could read a car's birth certificate (so to speak). I lost the skill when literally everything else became important.

There is no reason that plates couldn't be designed to convey the *important* registration info while at the same time allowing the freedom that US drivers have, should they wish to do so, to parade around with a personal message on their bourgemobile.

Personal fave: "DETHTUNG" on a Corvette back in the 90s.

Big shock: $700 Internet-of-Things door lock not a success

Stevie

Re:use toothpicks to help the wood screw to bite.

My tool-tip for the day would be to consider using the cedar wrappers from cigars (ask your smoker colleagues for them). They are great for all sorts of screw-tightening jobs. I've used them to tighten up the piano-peg tuners in an old autoharp for example.

In my case the holes needed to move, but not very much. The old holes had to be unmade so new ones would be in wood, not half in pre-existing hole. One does that with tight-fitting dowels. Or a pencil. 8o)

Stevie

Re:poxy pine framed construction.

Spruce on today's houses here, on mine, maybe. But the grain is very very tight. Hardwood tight. If I'm driving nails in a part of the house that was reframed in the late sixties I can tell when I'm moving from an original stud to a Beatles-era one.

You really need to let go of your preconceptions, AC. There certainly are shitty aspects of my house's construction, but the frame ain't one of them.

Stevie

Re: Is your house a caravan?

No, it is a wooden framed, brick and aluminum siding clad structure on a corner lot in a place where the summer temperature can exceed 100 degrees Fahrenheit in the summer with extremely high humidity, and dip below 8 degrees Fahrenheit in winter with no humidity to speak of.

Even Pyrex changes size over that range.

Stevie

Re: relying on biometrics has all the same problems it always does.

I urge anyone who has the opportunity to visit NASA in Florida or Universal Studios, and to make use of their Biometric Lockers before forking over 700 notes for a front door lock.

Your own experience might be a good one but look around. The locker bank is a massively parallel proof-of-concept experiment for the tech and in any group of a couple of hundred you are guaranteed to see at least one person with an assistant placed strategically to unlock doors that prove recalcitrant.

If you double those odds, once every 15 months or so you will stand a good chance of being outside wanting in with no recourse (unless you hire the bloke for Universal with the Magic Swipe Card).

If I suspect someone has copied a key without my permission I can replace the locks for less than 50 dollars spent in any local DIY store (there are 7 within easy driving distance of my house) and 15 minutes work.

Put that up against the chance that someone will wander virtually in without opening the door, turn on the heat and turn off the fridge on the first day of your two week vacation because your door lock is insecure and was the entry point for the hackers that rooted your home network for fun.

Stevie

Re: American door jambs are pretty much hollow cardboard.

Yours might be, but mine was a pre-hung Stanley door I installed myself, and it has a substantial frame properly fitted so that the important bits mount properly into the frame of the house.

Said frame is made from wood so tough nails have been known to bounce out when driven - the last time I encountered wood with this tight a grain it was in a forklift pallet I was trying to repurpose.

Frame on house dates from 1950, when forests were still around. The Stanley door dates from 1988 or so, when he concept was new and the materials used were of the usual first-run high quality.

I freely concede that the framing on todays houses and the construction of today's Stanley pre-hung doors may be made of ticky-tacky.

30 years from a door before the frame goes 1/8th out of true ain't bad in my opinion.

Stevie

Bah!

I recently had to reconfigure the deadbolt on my pre-hung front door on account of the house changing shape every three months finally having walked the door frame enough out-of square for the deadbolt to bind in the mortise every summer (humidity expands frame of house) and winter (extreme cold causes frame to shrink) to the point it requires a team of burly longshoremen to lean on the door while the key is turned - from the inside!

This, naturally, poses a security hazard as longshoremen are often of the swarthy, shifty-eyed foreigner sort HP Lovecraft warns us about on every third page. One can never be sure they haven't spent the day going through the underwear drawer, running up the pay-per-view bill or erecting shrines to Dagon and chanting in their foul, debased dialect.

I would love to see what this small gear train would do if caught at the start if the process, when the door locks perfectly freely in the morning but won't unlock without placing both feet against the wall and pulling the knob with one hand while thumbing the lock with the other that night.

We aren't talking nylon gears press-fitted on the shafts are we? Because I've several examples from model locomotives to a Sony remote pan head that demonstrate how that inexpensive design choice eventually ends up costing the owner deep in't purse when the gears split.

My cartridge CD player has a habit every 18 months or so of shedding a worm gear when, instead of the transport unit climbing into position as the motor spins, the nylon gear walks off the shaft. Annoying but less catastrophic in a hifi unit than a front door.

Reckon I'll stick with the old fashioned key. I've just spent an hour re-shaping the mortise, blanking off the old screw holes (used a sawn-off pencil because couldn't find the dowel I had no car to go get another one) drilling new ones and refitting the brasswear. It's be a shame if that was all for nothing.

SuperFish cram scandal: Lenovo must now ask nicely before stuffing new PCs with crapware

Stevie

Re: The amount of crap I had to remove was unbelievable.

Hope you got it before the glorious fleet of cylindrical hoppers was allowed to rust away.

Canadian grain trains used to be a lovely sight. Now they are just snakes of battleship grey American leased hoppers.

Stevie

Re: Eeek

"What have they been snooping on"

Never mind that; what's this "350_Million_Quid_A_Week.exe" then?

Stevie

The amount of crap I had to remove was unbelievable.

Do they still pack in a keylogger?

A colleague bought two HP lappies at Xmas and his son spent Xmas afternoon stripping out the crapware *including* the HP Keylogger.

Nice one, HP.

If you can find decent footage of Canadian Pacific grain trains going through the Kicking Horse Pass helix your son might enjoy the sight. You can see the back end of the train entering one tunnel as the loco exits another right above (or below) it. I don't have a link because my footage was taken with eyeballs some years ago.

Stevie

Re: before stuffing new PCs with crapware

Toilet? Never heard of it, but I'm sure it was worth the trouble of talking to Microsoft vis-a-vis '95.

I just fitted the plus package that let me use themes - including icons I made myself.

Open-source civil war: Olive branch offered in trademark spat... with live grenade attached

Stevie

Re: So Sad

Agreed. Also the OFSS and the SOFS communities.

Stevie

Re: Echo

"stuffed shirts"?

Have a care. In these days of wanton hound-releasing you stand perilously close to an accusation of sexism with that sort of blatant double-entendre. (fnarwhosaidthat?)

SMBH: Astroboffins reveal how to stop pop(ping) stars in a supermassive galaxy

Stevie

Bah!

I believe there is a "Glaciers Melting In The Dead Of Night" component that must be taken into consideration too.

Time's up: Grace period for Germany's internet hate speech law ends

Stevie

Re: C'mon Reg...

"There's no such thing as "hate speech", only free speech a Lefty wants to ban."

Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me.

A truth I had learnt by the time I was five years old.

In a world where denunciation is tantamount to proof, words certainly can hurt one. Just ask Garrison Keeler.

Just before Xmas some girl on Twitter hinted broadly that I was a child molester because she didn't like what I was saying; which was that people should be careful before assuming an accusation - against a person I didn't know - of sexual harassment was proof of the crime, and that this was a corrosive attitude to have lose in society. The irony was palpable.

Stevie

Bah!

I was going to post on how this is a very difficult issue on which to bring any impartiality, but as a non-German speaker I'm distracted by the perception that "Netzwerkdurchsetzungsgesetz" looks like it should be stenciled on the side of some unfeasible-looking late WWII-era aircraft, tank or flying tank.

Sorry to be so juvenile. I have no idea what to do about hate speech on (anti)social media.

It *is* personally disturbing that the international public rhetoric sounds so much like that being tossed around in the mid-thirties. Are we collectively *that* ready for another global ding-dong that as soon as the surviving generations who remember the last one are almost all dead we are itching for another go?

Long Island Iced Tea Corp renamed itself to Long Blockchain – and its shares went bananas

Stevie

Re: Non alchoholic?

Recipe:

Over Ice Pour

1 measure Vodka

1 measure Gin

1 measure White Rum

1 measure Tequilla

1 measure Triple Sec

Splash of cola for color

Couple of tablespoons of lemon juice or sour mix (doesn't really matter, ignore purists who say it does)

Top up with seltzer if cola too sweet for you

Slice of lemon

Drink quickly because it tastes like pop rather than hard licker.

Make second drink. Drink somewhat slower while making third drink.

Drink third drink. Fall down stairs. Go to sleep in stairwell.

Meet R2-DILDO: 'Star Wars' sex toys? This is where the fun begins

Stevie

Alec Guinness would be rolling his eyes...Bah

Alec Guinness doesn't have any eyes.

As Norman Greenbaum sang:

"When I die and they lay me to rest, ain't gonna go around moving my chest

When I die and I don't move a lot, I'm gonna lie in a deep hole and rot".

Stevie

Bah!

Can't believe I'm he first to point out the XKCD reference.

Stevie

Bah!

I reckon they missed a trick by not calling the butt-plug a restraining bolt.

'Please store the internet on this floppy disk'

Stevie

Re: I'm not sure what's worse

Lotus Office (circa 95) used to ship with a screen recorder thing that was ace for reaching people how to use new software products or for demonstrating a problem to a thick developer of the "I don't make mistakes" school over email.

It was easy to use and very basic. Click record, do what you wanted. Click stop and save the result. Files could be played back just as simply.

In short it was thunderously useful.

When IBM bought Lotus it was the first thing they dropped support for.

Danger! High voltage: German customs bods burn half-tonne of weed in power station

Stevie

the needy who can't afford quality weed

Indeed yes, sir!

As the words in the carol say "Ding dong merrily on high".

I think we all know why Gloria is in excelsis.

Stevie

Bah!

I applaud the Germans burning stuff to make more precious Gas of Life.

Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but the data centre temp's delightful

Stevie

cool adbiatically

Or as regular people say: "sweat".

And since the cooling is a byproduct of the drying, there is no real difference outside of a marketing glossy for HVAC systems other than the thermostat being set higher.

Stevie

Re: Thankfully some more sensible countries (4 Alan Brown)

Well this ex-pat was recently put in the position of explaining why the Slade original of Merry Christmas Everybody has the colonially confusing and dubious lyric "Does a ton upon his sleigh" after I noted with disgust the inaccuracy of an American cover version on the wireless that opined that Santa "Has a ton upon his sleigh".

And I should add that before any revisionist foetuses wade in, the term is "Do a ton" and *NOT* "Do a tonne". The term comes from pre-frenchified-UK biker slang in parlance when I were a lad and the Vincent Black Shadow were King o' road and people weren't afraid of things that came in fractions other than tenths and tenths of tenths and would tell the French, Belgians and Germans to bugger off if they told you to buy petrol in litres.

Few vehicles of the day were capable of "tonning up" and all were completely incapable of stopping in a safe distance when they hit the magic 100 mph* should danger and excitement rear their heads, which was kind of the point.

"Sensible countries". The recent round of voting should have put paid to that conceit on all fronts. Pfft!

*That's miles per hour an' orl, not namby-pamby frenchy-metres.

Stevie

Re: normal people (4 JulieM)

"That's what normal people would refer to as the kilowattage of the system (i.e., how many thousands of joules of heat it can move in one second of time)."

Presumably the Tower of London's A/C needs are calculated in crown joules.

HMS Queen Elizabeth has sprung a leak and everyone's all a-tizzy

Stevie

Re: Were we supposed to have airborn aircraft carriers by now?

NonononoNO!

Extinct balloons don't count, firstly because they are balloons with three, count 'em, three biplanes inside and secondly because we don't have them any more!

If it doesn't have a runway and a load-out of Angel Interceptors it NEED NOT APPLY!

Stevie

Bah!

Propellers? How 19th century.

I would have thought this thing was jet propelled and rode the seas on massive hydrofoil wings, putting the fear of Britannia into all who sailed around her, and able to respond to a crisis half a world away in a couple of hours or so.

Hellfire, we were supposed to have airborn aircraft carriers by now.

Century 21 productions my arse!

TalkTalk banbans TeamTeamviewerviewer againagain

Stevie

Bah!

OhBuggerOhBugger!

Hot chips crashed servers, but were still delicious

Stevie

Bah!

Me and Rudy were a superteam. I did the server config and ticket resolution, he did the site survey and equipment installation. His job involved heavy lifting and swearing at people. Mine involved looking at screens and using my scary spidey senses to figure out WTF was going on.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ticket: "Server unresponsive between 8pm and 9:30pm"

Me: "Rudy, nip over to 10 Drowning St and fit a screw-secured power outlet/cord so the office cleaners quit unplugging the server to run their vacuum".

Ticket: "Server unresponsive between 11 am and 11:15 am."

Me: "Rudy, nip over to 666 Lucifer Avenue and fit a screw-secured power-outlet/cord so the office workers quit unplugging the server so they can plug-in their coffee maker."

Ticket: "Server unresponsive between 8:30 pm and 7:30 am"

Me: "Rudy, nip over to 69 Rue de Remarques and move the server power cord to a power outlet on a different circuit to the office lights."

Ticket: "All servers at 99 Wall St unresponsive"

Me: "WTF?"

Rudy: "The building manager had some work done. They took a sawzall to a non-supporting wall. The wall had the main optic fiber trunks running up and across it. You're gonna need a bigger engineering team."

Ticket: "All servers at 404 Nosuch St offline."

Me: "Can't be a sawzall. They have concrete walls ferfuggsake."

Rudy:" Electrician needed to drill hole in main power distribution box to add a circuit and saved some time by not throwing off the main breakers. His burning corpse set the building on fire. F*** this for a game of soldiers, I'm going to the Brewer's Elbow for lunch."

5 reasons why America's Ctrl-Z on net neutrality rules is a GOOD thing

Stevie
Pint

Re: Comment from the deceased

Well, you got me.

But then, after 12 months of Trumps going's on, I'm an easy mark.

Stevie

Re: Bombastic Bob

Are you saying that BB is not only a bot, she's a Fembot?

Stevie

Bah!

You may have heard how the United States has fallen behind the rest of the world when it comes to broadband roll out and speeds. Well this net neutrality plan is going to Make America Fast Again.

Prediction: The only part of America that will speed up will be he part that conveys revues to deep-pocket bonuses for the newly tax-unencumbered.

Stevie

Bah!

Utter bollocks from what seems clearly to be a marketing drone. To pick from his list:

You know how if you're told to do something, you won't, but if you aren't forced to, then you go all-out? The same is true for profit-making companies.

Coal mining companies.

Oil exploitation companies.

Construction companies.

Car manufacturers.

Google.

Facebook.

All of which have shown time and again if you don't crack the legal whip they show zero inclination to self-regulate.

Coal mines burning for decades that force the evacuation of entire towns. Lest we consider this an American problem only, let me just say "Aberfan"

Oil tankers and rigs operated unsafely in pursuit of the almighty dollar (Exxon Valdez, Deepwater Horizon).

Car manufacturers. Airbags, anyone? Electric cars? Oh, and of course, Volkswagen.

Google and Facebook each are regularly found to be up to all sorts of shenanigans they don't admit to and sometimes even deny hotly.

So no, unless this entire article is a troll, I think I'm awarding the Wikipedia Trophy for Unreliable Statements.

Engineer named Jason told to re-write the calendar

Stevie

Re: Or a glass hammer.

18 albums issued so far.

Not seeing the problem.

Why is Wikipedia man Jimbo Wales keynoting a fake news conference?

Stevie

Re: It would be interesting to compare Wikipedia's error rate with Orlowski's

How can that quote from the article be interpreted in any way other than as a clear implication that there are at least 16,000 fake stories on Wikipedia?

English. A feature-rich language. Just like *insert your own soapbox language here*.

Stevie

Re: Where was the Joke Alert Icon, you clown?

Obvious git is obvious.

Lack of editorial oversight is not a strength, as everyone with skin in any game will tell you.

*cough*LinusTorvalds*cough*

I'm sorry. I did that wrong, didn't I?

LACK OF EDITORIAL OVERSIGHT IS NOT A STRENGTH YOU TWIT!

Question:

Does being loud and personally insulting make me right, or just a loud git?

Stevie

Re:Britannica contains many inaccuracies,

And if you know of specific inaccuracies, I'm sure that dashing off a quick letter to the editorial board citing the problem and your authority to contradict it will get the offending entry changed by the editors once they've verified your contention.

Or were you implying that you aren't allowed to just go in and deface the original? If so, my answer is : good.

Stevie

Re: The vegetarian alligator

If Jimmy Wales has some insight on how to deal with fake news why hasn't he trialed his ideas on Wikipedia?

I think that was the thrust of the Register article.

And calling the bunch of idiots infesting Wikipedia as a "community" is to imply a common purpose that does not exist.

Stevie

Re: BY ALL MEANS, TAKE 5 F'ing MINUTES and CORRECT IT!

And watch as someone takes down your informed change and re-instates the more popular fuckwittery.

Ask me how I know this.

Kaspersky dragged into US govt's trashcan as weaponized blockchain agile devops mulled

Stevie

Bah!

Section 1642 commands there be a Commander commanding cyber command in a command capacity.

Stevie

Re: Wormold

Mystic Megabyte, I accuse you of being Alec Guinness and claim my five pounds.

Brrr! It's a snow day and someone has pwned the chuffin' school heating

Stevie

Bah!

This is what happens when entrepreneurs find out they can run a service empire from an iPhone app.

Oh well.

Mr Rubber, let me introduce you to Mr Road.

Disk drive fired 'Frisbees of death' across data centre after storage admin crossed his wires

Stevie
Pint

Re: "Cut the red wire..."

E-beer for you, Kingstonian, for volleying back appropriately.

YouTuber cements head inside microwave oven

Stevie

Re: Learning from Experience

Doesn't everyone have those - "maybe I didn't think that through" moments?

Occasionally.

This one springs to mind.

And this one.

And this regrettable affair.

What was the question?