* Posts by Stevie

7282 publicly visible posts • joined 12 Jun 2008

New 'plasma lamps' to replace fluorescent bulbs, LEDs

Stevie

Bah!

"Last for many years"

The traffic lights and publicly owned vehicles (school busses etc) have had LEDs for a few years now and let me tell you that real-life experience is that the damn things break down just like proper bulbs do, they just keep giving light - sorta - as individual LEDs in the dozens-in-the-bulb start failing.

The only difference is that because there are a few glimmering elements still working, the bloody local council won't replace the buggers.

I'll take fluorescents because the current ones *do* come on instantly and they provide a decent amount of light until they blow (which hardly ever happens of course until it does). They pollute, of course, and cost a fortune to make compared to Tungsten filament bulbs, as do LEDs. Mercury or Arsenic, what's your poison?

And while it's true the Tungsten refining process is hardly clean of environmentally friendly, the fabbing of the ICs necessary to power-up your fluorescents or LEDs is way dirtier. IC fabbing plants typically leave superfund-class cleanup problems when they finally shut down.

Stevie

Bah!

Because the PC and HiFi worlds have shown us the Way Of Things: Replace complete technologies every five minutes!

Just what we need. Another high-tech lightbulb, full of exotic things you don't want in the garbage.

Christ this is getting old. Fluorescent because incandescents are wasteful. LEDs because fluorescents are polluting. Plasma because LEDs aren't cool enough.

And the price of the lightbulbs goes up and up as more and more people are involved and more patents are lodged and no-one talks about the real costs involved, and everyone lies like stink about their favorite lightbulb. Last week a spokesman/cheerleader for LEDs was put on the spot during a rubbish-the-fluorescent interview on NPR when he said that fluorescents were polluting and then was asked "But don't LEDs have arsenic in them?"

And people are buying crates of incandescents because fat-heads were allowed to pass a law making them illegal next year for Azathoth's sake.

Pass the whale-oil.

Rumoured iPhone 5 'will have 4in screen' against Jobs' wish

Stevie

Bah!

OMFG! Sell all my Apple stock soonest!

SQUID calls 'virtual photons' into real existence

Stevie

Bah!

Got that. Questioning the claim that 25% of anything can be classed as "near" that thing.

Not calling the physics into question, merely the write-up.

Stevie

No.

Always go to the source.

http://www.amazon.com/Relativity-Special-General-Masterpiece-Science/dp/0131862618/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1321903364&sr=1-2

Read. Think about what you've read for a bit. Get less downvoted in physics topics by anonymous cowards.

Stevie

Bah!

Gotta love Physicists. "Near" = "25%"

Now try this one: "You're nicked sunshine. 100 mph in a 30 mph limit!"

"I was doing 25!"

"That's near enough. It's the high jump for you, me lad. You'll do time for this".

Making sense of SharePoint 2010

Stevie

Erm...

I love the fact that people who are obviously the proud holders of a formal education in CS (and hence have an in-depth formally-taught knowledge of Unix not owned by the Unwashed) believe that MS solutions should be self-explanatory or "just work out of the box".

I think it is that the GUI-based design ethic seems to make everything look so trivially easy that there could be no possible complexity that needs to be learned in order to get the best from the product hiding under the hood.

Thus, Sharepoint and Outlook must be idiotic products because they don't need any explanation to use (wrong) so providing some means the people who would want to use them are idiots (arguable, but not from those premises).

Before anyone screams and leaps they should know that I work as a Unix SA, but because I can remember when computers were actually as secure as people thought and don't believe the world of computers is bounded by MS Windows and Unix-like OSs I can use a GUI without undergoing deep suicidal urges, and I'm willing to read around in any product line to see what can be done.

Inside the mysterious US satellite hacking case

Stevie

Bah!

This "cyber attack" was probably just a Windows XP update being uploaded.

I turned on a machine I hadn't used in a while and watched Micorsoft, Adobe, Symantec et al conduct about an hour-long "cyber attack" on it on Saturday.

Teacher investigated over mysluttyteacher smut site

Stevie

Er...

"Conduct unbecoming of a *retired*, *former* police officer" I think.

The "big deal" being that the public is a snarling junkyard dog right now about public expenditure, having been whipped into a frenzy on said subject nationwide by mendacious politicians desperate to misdirect attention away from their own malfeasance and asleep-at-the-helm-while-the-ship-of-state-ran-well-and-truly-aground-ishness. His pension is on the line.

Someone's got to be fed to the pitchfork-wielding masses, and it mustn't be the politicos responsible for the mess because if we held them responsible then we'd have no-one who...knew...how...the..country...was...run...

Haaaaaang on.

Mysterious sat-pic China desert markings - EXPLAINED

Stevie

Bah!

This is obviously a place where they train people to use the white line painting machine before they let them out on the roads for real.

Stevie

Bah!

I've always assumed that Harlow New Town was designed as some sort of nuclear test site. Big sign on the outskirts announcing it as a "Nuclear Free Zone", yet begging for some sort of large, very hot event to remove it from the memory of mankind forever. Has to be irony from on high.

Stevie

Bah!

It took you a whole month to paint those lines in the Gobi Desert? Just so the Chinese could test their missiles?

Open source team creates apocalypse survival kit

Stevie

Er...

Paper making? Printing press?

And that 3D printer looks like a re-branded machine from somewhere else, but with no acknowledgment.

Reg man the most-flamed recruiter in the UK?

Stevie

Bah!

I missed the article itself, but the comments reflected some personal hot-buttons so went back and read it.

Given this article was really just a rant, it would have been nice if somewhere, just somewhere in that article Our Dominic had said something along the lines of "I provide a stylesheet for CV submissions at (URL) and expect people to use it when submitting them to me".

That way, since Dominic clearly doesn't know that people are taught to write long CVs in other places, he could add some obviously much-needed advice on How To Do It Right as opposed to simply whining that Everyone Is Doing It Wrong.

I shouldn't have to tell him this. I'd think it was self-evident that increasing the pool of CV-literates (at least, to his standards) would increase the pool of potential commission earners.

Word to the wise, Dominic, many of the stylistic CV things you complain of are things I've either been told to do by recruiters or things the recruiters have done to my CV and which have had to be undone in the interview by me in real time. I could never pad my CV like my first agent could.

And I wish your relative good luck should she ever look me up on Google. I have what turns out to be the most common christian name/surname in the universe. Google me and I guarantee you'll find not-me.

Only last week my lawyer was explaining to another who followed your relative's idea of research that a Google search does not constitute due diligence when issuing summonses, and that perhaps the small matter of a differing middle initial was more important that would seem when it came to empowering process servers.

But by all means look. Most of the me-alikes are way more impressive, CV-wise, than I. There's one bloke invented a new kind of aqualung in his time off from being a noted bio-chemist with a list of patents as long as my arm. I'll be him if you like. He's dead impressive.

And if you use a credit rating service, well, good luck. When I bought my house I got to see the query results that the best-of-the-best gave my mortgage banker, and was appalled. Rarely, outside of an Amazon search, have I seen a worse set of matches for my name and social security number than was shown on that roll of paper.

More than half the information was casually discarded by the banker as "irrelevant", lines that matched only my surname, only some digits of my social security number, that sort of thing. Why the programmer responsible thought that would be helpful I don't know. Whatever he or she was paid it was too much.

The article was fun, but hardly written by someone "trying to help". That would require positive advice. Word documents are bad? Okay, I'll take your word for it, but I don't Use The Force so could you at least hint as to the format that has the Dominic Seal of Approval?

And as a man talking about placing staff internationally, why are you referring to "A4"? A word count would be more helpful in places where A4 is a mystery that probably has something to do with English roads as much as a sheet of paper (whatever that is - it *is* the 21st century after all and if a prospective employer isn't reading my CV on better kit than I have myself he isn't impressing me at all).

I hope you won the pool on how many comments you'd generate with the article, Dominic.

Happy 40th birthday, Intel 4004!

Stevie

Bah!

And when, pray will we see the transtator, the technology that will free mankind to explore the heavens, transcend their tawdry beginnings and stuff like that?

Too rude for the road: DVLA hot list of banned numberplates

Stevie

8ah!

What the hell is a "vaginob"?

Harry Potter director takes on Doctor Who movie

Stevie

Bah!

Before belittling the "American Threat" to the purity of the vision, one should check out the two existing Dr Who films and see what (mis)casting Van Helsing aka Grand Moff Tarkin as The Doctor did to the franchise before most of you were born.

Also - Bernard Cribbins. Heads should have rolled.

Boozed-up ball-biting mum spared jail

Stevie
IT Angle

Bah!

Reporting this story here is nuts.

Dud Mars probe's explosion will spare Earth's cities

Stevie

Er...

So the probe will explode on contact with the atmosphere?

Thus are the details of the new Russian Terror Weapon revealed to a world rendered helpless by years of appeasement in the exploding Mars Probe race!

To the shelters! Flee! Flee the dread exploding Russian shrapnel probe!

Aiee!

The Register goes Live on 22 Nov 2011

Stevie

Bah!

I'll wait for the Playmobil re-enactment if you don't mind.

Army to deploy jumping robots in Afghanistan

Stevie

Egad!

So...the A Cyberdyne Systems Model 101 Terminator will actually look like a Mardave Electric R/C stock car? With integral pogo-stick?

Points for ingenuity but a couple of negative levels for losing the thread.

New pics of giant black sphere hurtling toward Earth

Stevie

Fools!

Aiee!

US pols sack Santa Claus in cost-cutting drive

Stevie

Bah!

This story brought to you by the Guarniad.

Incomprehensible, and I actually live there.

Colossal dead black neo-sphere approaching Earth

Stevie

Fools!

Aiee! To the bunker!

Alien city lights could be detected across interstellar space

Stevie

Fools!

If we can see them, it means that they can see us!

Aiee!

Bill Gates strangled Microsoft's 'tablet for creatives'

Stevie

Bah!

As I read it, and like everyone else I wasn't there and so only have the foggiest notion of what was said and done, this comes down to the answer Allard gave.

Instead of a waffle-rich answer that boiled down to "can't" he *might* have said "with the Courier Outlook App, currently in initial design".

No, there wasn't one at that point (but there should have been), but it would have been better to bullshirt about that than about how the device wasn't meant to be useful to someone who - whether you like the results or not - shaped the way the vast majority of people in the western world spend their free time these days.

Seen it before, bought the T-shirt, have postcards.

The Register Guide on how to stay anonymous (part 1)

Stevie

Bah!

Never mind the underlying assumption that if you visited site X you are intersted in their products as a lifestyle choice.

It couldn't be that you went there to buy product X for someone else whose tastes are definitively not your own.

Data != information.

Still.

TomTom Go Live TopGear Edition

Stevie

Bah!

I bought my wife a Tom-Tom GPS system. It's great. You can go anywhere you like provided you do so via Manhattan. Even if I set waypoints that make damn sure we go from Long Island via Staten Island crossing the Verrazano Narrows Bridge, it usually begs us to turn around once we are in New Jersey so we can detour through Manhattan before resuming our journey.

Bloody silly thing.

Crap alchemist jailed for poo-into-gold experiment

Stevie

Bah!

I discovered a process for turning base metal into gold years ago.

I call it "counterfeiting".

Winning new UK pylon design may never be used

Stevie

Er...

*How* low?

AOL demos the human-free datacenter

Stevie

Bah!

So what happened during the earthquake was that idle, unused capacity was made to do something useful, probably involving a phone call/intarweb chat to temporarily open up some latent licenses, followed by running a few scripts.

I mean, the way the spokesdroid froths you'd think it involved sparkly Star Trek replicator technology precipitating machines out of thin air to boldly supply bandwidth where no-one had done so before.

Amazon Kindle 4

Stevie

Hmm...

Where's the 3g? I'm no expert in these things, but I (living in New York) noticed that all the new tablets and readers seemed to be eschewing phone interweb connectivity so I asked a few early adopters.

Turns out the feature is regarded as "obsolete" because so many people have iPhones (or similar products) and use them as their wifi connection.

Times we live in. Stuff is obsolete before you figure out what it's for.

Gigantic KRAKEN fingered in prehistoric murder mystery

Stevie

Aiee!

I repeat: Aiee!

Which actor should play Steve in upcoming biopic?

Stevie

Bah!

The answer is simple: Have Pixar make a digital Steve and do his part entirely in CGI.

No need for "actors" at all. Also, there must be enough archival soundbitey bits from the Madman Across the Water around to glean the entire dialog for this dog of a film without paying Seth Rogen to voice it.

Billion dollar telescope snaps galactic head-on

Stevie

Bah!

The chances are somewhat better of planetary systems being catastrophically disrupted by gravity interaction due to the various near (in galactic terms) misses though. Let's hope there's no-on at home on any of the planets that get ejected into space, into the nearest star or sent to smack into each other.

And if there are people involved in this celestial nonsense, let's hope they actually got on with building spaceships and space stations and so on rather than just making TV shows and computer games about them.

Remember: "There's nothing cool about CGI if you are about to be squished to atoms by your own moon".

Stallman: Jobs exerted 'malign influence' on computing

Stevie

Bah!

Stallman is a git.

That's what happens to you when too many people hang on your every word.

Gas bill climbed £13,000 after correct online reading given

Stevie

Bah!

Perfectly standard web design. Can't understand the fuss.

Now a gas meter with only four digits - *that* is dumb.

London 2012 Olympics: 17000 athletes, 11000 computers

Stevie

Bah

Didn't you hear? No-one on the web is allowed to tell the time any more on account of astrologers bought the sky.

or something.

Chaos feared after Unix time-zone database is nuked

Stevie

Hurrah!

Well said that man.

Stevie

Bah!

1) "Free" doesn't excuse "theft".

2) I don't know that theft is involved in this case, and neither do you.

3) I don't think astrology is worthwhile either, but if they own something they are entitled to be paid for its use no matter how daffy their beliefs.

4) I don't know that they truly own what they claim they do, and neither do you.

5) It would be funny if their web-for-pay operations were to fall over because they could no longer tell the time reliably.

6) I doubt this will happen.

Apple cofounder Steve Jobs is dead at 56

Stevie

Bah!

...just "Bah!"

No-one deserves to die that way. Not Steve Jobs nor my friend Jilly, who lost to Stomach cancer this week.

Fuck cancer.

Mobile industry fights San Fran 'carcinogen' labelling

Stevie

Bah!

But what about the psychotronic mind-controlling aspects of all this? For how long must I be expected to wear matching tin foil hat and underpants before Action is Taken?

Crazy pot smokers get high on wireless power

Stevie

Bah!

Think of the psychotronic side-effects, man!

This is just a way for Big Brother to insert low-level wetware hacks into the general population, forcing them to vote Green and buy iPads and stuff.

Oh the humanity!

Firefox devs mull dumping Java to stop BEAST attacks

Stevie

Bah!

Better idea: Get Rid Of Usless Javascript Now!

All these &^%$ing hijacks go away if you don't author at the browser at run-time.

All it does is bring Teh Shiny. Only a fool does any useful work at the browser end of the transaction.

Get rid of this digital psoriasis, this boil on the backside of the web, this cowpat in the field of IT.

Assange™ pens world's first unauthorised autobiography

Stevie

Bah!

Assange is a Johnny-come-lately and is far from the first to pen an unauthorized autobiography.

I believe that honor goes to Lemony Snicket.

Ford spins pop-out anti-prang door shield

Stevie

Bah!

Don't spend money on this, folks. I've already got you covered. I carry a small ball-pien hammer in my car. If I come back to find you've left me a door ding (and the paint on your door matches the scratches in my door) I simply reward the bad behavior with some rough justice.

I started doing this when I watched some git in an SUV smash his door into mine as I sat on my train powerless to remonstrate with the brain-dead tw*t. That day, the second payment was due on my car, and when I got home there was a neat, three-inch crease in one of my panels.

I photograph cars I park next to so that I can track down those who ding and leave too (gotta love the modern cell phones. Idiots tend to park in the same spot so they're easy to find the next day or the day after. If I find my paint on their door, out comes Mr Hammer for a visit to SUVland. (And yes, it's always an SUV).

For the people who park so close I cannot get into my car, I have a special treat - I leave an appropriate thank-you message on the glass of their door mirror in white paint marker. It comes off of course, with some elbow grease and a razorblade scraper. Less effort to park properly if you ask me.

Park properly. If you cannot park it, don't drive it. If you're not gonna drive it, don't buy it.

Words to grow on.

Mars trips could blind astronauts

Stevie

Bah!

For given and strictly limited values of "Cost Effective".

Stevie

Bah!

Well, lucky for us we're never going to really go then, innit?

Wait: Don't the crew of submarines also go short-sighted after a tour?

Attention metal thieves: Buy BT, get 75 MILLION miles of copper

Stevie

Bah!

More than one former board member of AT&T has opined that they lived in terror of this very threat in the 1980s - that some idiot would realize they owned the richest domestic lode of high-grade copper ore and would initiate a takeover bid that would result in the country's comms infrastructure coming to a grisly and premature end.

GM OnStar cars will upload all data unless owners opt out

Stevie

Bah!

So someone is doing claimed speed plus X when he/she smashes into you and puts you in hospital for months of expensive surgery, and this technological marvel will enable the insurance companies yet another avenue to weasel out of paying the bills that were in no way your fault?

After several personally experienced acts of insurance treachery I thought there was no way for my disgust at the US insurance industry to sink any lower than it already has, but this story has done the impossible.