* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

16005 publicly visible posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

Translation services used to pump out polyglot spam

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Grenade

SECHZEHN MILLIONEN SECHSHUNDERT EINUNDZWANZIG TAUSEND UND DREIHUNDERTVIERZIG

"Dir gewinn ist bei einer sicherheitsfirma hinterlegt und in ihren namen versichert."

Oh certainly dear retarded Untermenschspammeister.

What I want to know is the return rate on missives of that type among the population of the above 6 year olds. Shouldn't these missives at least try to pretend being serious in their attempt to possibly come from a trustworthy source?

A Grenade! That would solve some problems.

Recession ending for Western Digital

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Big Brother

Hard drives being shifted?

Probably just the NSA placing a few orders. They must be running out of space fast.

AT&T unblocks 4chan after DDoS scare ban

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Paris Hilton

How exactly do you filter a SYN flood?

"I would expect an ISP the size of AT&T to be able to filter that sort of nonsense possibly without even pressing any buttons"

Yes, but how. A SYN is a SYN.

AT&T blocks 4chan, home of weird smut

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Troll

Oh noes!

While 4chan is best compared to Mos Eisley Cantina without a good band, you are not meant to exclusively look for smut & internet rage there. They _do_ have wholesome boards. Kinda.

You forgot to mention that moot is Time's Man of the Year! "AT&T snubs Man of Year" would be a good subtitle for the story.

http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1894028,00.html

Troll as picture. Evidently.

MoD sticks with 'most decrepit browser in the world'

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Coffee/keyboard

Oh my god.

"Let us know the company name, so we don't accidentally ask you to pitch. Not testing sites in IE6 the day IE8 came out is a great reason not to use you. IE6 currently makes up about 15% of the user market, whereas Safari is about 3%."

Hey, you have just discovered yourself a market opportunity.

You may yet be able to monetize the Internet's long tail of decrepitude.

Invite me to your private ranch when you get rich.

Boffins boast self-destructing cloud data

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Flame

Very useful indee. Explain during discovery how your sensitive e-mails were "lost"...

...look at hard time at Club Fed (or the local equivalent).

This kind of crap only works for Dick Cheney or Junta Glitterati I am sorry to reveal.

Stupid academicians.

Feminist org declines nude calendar cash

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Megaphone

Yes.. "feminists" have issues.

Especially with skin. It's ridiculous, but then again, there are all sorts of weird people with internally inconsistent goals in life.

Incidentally, lately I have heard some advocacy on" saving the women of Afghanistan". Basically by staying the course, in other words, bombing or starving them. Nice job.

Microsoft opened Linux-driver code after 'violating' GPL

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Thumb Down

@The GPL is complex

Facepalm at the lawyerese darktalk. While it is still to be tested in court, I don't see anything particularly complex about it. It even comes with friendly FAQs.

"The spirit of the GPL, and its purpose, were pretty straightforward and in my view honourable. But beware - it's more than it looks. Large companies can use it to harrass small ones. Small ones can use it to harrass large ones"

Ok, when exactly has anything like this ever happened?

South Carolina AG counterpunches Craigslist suit

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Big Brother

Yet another sociopath in upwards motion

"If [Craigslist] prevails in this action..."

Anyone who is AG and writes such stuff should be shifted to the front door forthwith as he has evidently lost touch with base reality.

Should I write an assessment stating that "our competitor might penetrate our networks, rape our secretaries or kill the management's Golden Retriever if we don't succeed in the next project", I know what would happen.

PC repair shop caught trying bank fraud

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Coat

I thought "Über surveillance software"...

...monitors behaviour of your friendly repair gorilla even if the laptop is powered down or the DIMM is unseated.

On second reading, it becomes clear that the assorted Gnomes of the Repair Cave of Evil have to fix the machine first, then boot it up, log in, and only then they fall into the trap ... aww!

Tech can make Britain Great again

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Unhappy

What is this?

Britain can be great again? WIth technology? Better yet, with IT?

I feel narcolepsy creeping up on me.

Open-source firmware vuln exposes wireless routers

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Welcome

@open sauce = fail

Just finished your first year Computer Science classes, did you?

Tasered Oz man bursts into flames

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Joke

A Hollywoodean Ending, this.

"Nobody f*cks with the King"

"Bzzt"

Anti-Sec spoof threatens s'kiddie mayhem

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Coffee/keyboard

The Anonymous Collective declares....

"Whether Anti-Sec reciprocates these feelings remains unknown but we'd suggest the odds are against it. "

What? Why? Both the pranksters and the originals look like they are a spawn of /b/, so they would get right along.

Riot police raid birthday barbecue for 'all-night' Facebook tag

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Flame

Camo means military

"Poole said it was about 4pm when eight officers with camouflage pants and body armor jumped out of their vehicles and ordered everyone out about an hour into the party."

Good think it wasn't Gordon Freeman's 30th birthday party then. Apparently Civil Protection does not need to properly wear blue either? Nearer to you, Sierra Leone.

Google puts Chrome updates on Courgette-only diet

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Thumb Up

Are you listening, Sun? I mean, Oracle.

Well, that seems like a pretty self-evident and also pretty good idea. I hope they also though about checking the hashsums of the re-generated binaries after the fact and we are on a roll.

California skateboard dude swipes Reg logo

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Badgers

It's not "Copyright infringement"

...if anything, it's "registered trademark infringement".

But didya register the Reg Logo likeness internationally or just in the UK?

IT admin sentenced for sabotaging employer's network

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Pint

USD 30'000? Well, that's a reasonable price.

If that had been State or a more aggressive company. they might well have pulled the price of USD 356'789 out of their behind.

Cheers, mate.

Explosive French workers threaten second factory

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Thumb Down

With all the incomprehension of Karl Marx...

>>last remaining nation in the west where the people aren't afraid to stand up and fight for what's right against the government and big business

I think you are unsure on how a private company actually works. Hint: It doesn't have a money printing press in the cellar.

These weirdos got their paycheck, right? Do they have any other outstanding concerns with the company except maybe legal requirements for "reintegration"? I would not think so.

These guys demand 100'000 EUR per worker... but are unsure who shall pay. I mean, really now.

http://www.lemonde.fr/la-crise-financiere/article/2009/07/15/nortel-nous-ne-sommes-pas-des-terroristes_1218903_1101386.html#ens_id=1218204

Chrome OS: Windows killer?

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Boffin

Infotech looks more and more like a Half-Life obstacle course to me.

*Oh no, not _another_ blocked lift with no emergency stairwell and facehuggers closing up on me from behind.*

How boring.

I just wanna get to the surface.

Maybe I should change the job.

ImageShack hacked in oddball security protest

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Paris Hilton

@Antisec isn't a group, Its a Movement, Get it strait.

facepalm.jpg

Oh well, I was dumb like that back in the early 90's.

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FAIL

Anti-Sec, eh?

Yeat another trolling skript kiddie.

It's summer.

French workers threaten to blow up factory

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Flame

Unionization and Eurosclerosis have gone too far

It's not often that I catch myself wishing Pinochet could be reanimated by evil Nazi scientists sponsored by CIA for a bit of expeditious justice to move the "french entitlement" style of working back towards some necessary economic liberalism (yeah I know he wasn't exactly a liberal, but I'm easily angered)

Dubya surveillance exceeded warrantless wiretaps

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Grenade

A shovel-ready project, it would seem.

The only way to clean up this stinking mess is to decapitate the whole domestic intelligence bureaucracy from the top down and and start over with a reduced set of new faces and agencies.

Not holding my breath here.

France takes third swing at 'three-strikes' law

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Big Brother

Who the hell submits these law parodies again and again?

Do these come directly from the prez' office whenever a RIAA representative leaves out the front door of the Elysée?

Rosetta Stone rocks Google with trademark lawsuit

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Badgers

As long as there isn't an ® after your Wonder Word ™...

...it's pretty much totally meaningless.

Notice:

The Fastest Way to Learn a Language. Guaranteed.™

Also, Rosetta Stone owns the registered trademark RosettaStone®, and the special way of writing it, associated to the special color and special logo will/must all be part of making it ®. The British Museum won't get involved.

@Spleen:

"Hey, I fancy myself some Adaptive Recall™. Let's just fire up the ol' search engine... hmm, that AdWords™ word looks promising... wait, this isn't RosettaStone®, the Language Library™ that Dynamically Immerses™ more Global Travellers™ than any other company! DAMN YOU GOOGLE®!"

That's actually a pretty good ad! People might pay for this idea.

Two jailed for online racism after US turned down asylum bid

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Flame

A Robert Crumb cartoon? WTF?

...so what about those Jack Chick tracts. I mean, seriously...

>>I guess he was pissed off at Israel and categorised them as Jewish.

Not wrong, considering that the current Israeli lawmakers want to imprison people for a year or so if they deny that Israel is a "Jewish State" (whatever that is).

I'm out b4 pro-Israel paid talkbackers come in...

(No bias, gentlemen: http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3744516,00.html).

Net sleuth calls eBay on carpet over shill bidding

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FAIL

The used-car salesman manages your auctions

@You think all this is bad...

"The other clever trick in ebay's anti-trouble toolkit is the disappearing auction. If ebay do decide that an auction might make trouble then it silently disappears - even if it has already completed."

They will be in _very_ hot water if someone ever demands transaction logs in a legal investigation and these happen to have been "disappeared" (Where are Microsoft lawyers when they could be of use to society?)

Does eBay not have any fiduciary duty at all?

Orange UK exiles Firefox from call centres

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Pint

Re: Corporate Ignorance

>>Do any of the "OMG Orange sucks, IE6 sucks, use FireFox!" fanboys have any experience in corporate IT? I don't mean fixing your mate's computer when he got a trojan off some pr0n torrent, I mean actual IT.

Probably more than you mate. 15 years good enough?

>>In my experience FireFox is no better than IE6 for stability, but is worse for compatibility because of the whole crusade for being standards-compliant rather than "actual real-life Internet"-compliant.

You really should get out more and not only use the Intralan.

TechCrunch dubs Linux a 'big ol’ bag of drivers'

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Troll

Assault and battery on TechCrutch

That was like extracting the money from a panhandler in a wheelchair. Not nice, Ted.

Programmer charged with stealing Wall Street-ware

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Go

Hey, we have this bubble money lying around, you want some?

"The programmer, who earned $400,000 per year."

WAT!!!

Either the dollar has really fallen or that's one programmer whose has got the sun shining out of his nether regions. Well, until recently that is.

Apple patents karaoke lessons

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Pint

Duh.

At first it looked like this was a patent on taking a good iWank(tm).

Dommage,

Trading Standards calls for online knife sale ban

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Flame

CLIPS, Jess and Drools

So,

1) Metal cutlery that is not spoon or fork must not be carried outdoors

AND

2) Metal cutlery that is not spoon or fork can still be purchased freely

THERFORE

3) Something must be done, this something being removal of the adverb "freely" in 2)

It's pretty sad when the combined intelligence of parliament and gummint can be encoded in a production system oneliner.

Feds: Hospital hacker's 'massive' DDoS averted

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Flame

A new kind of "summerfag"

"It's all about respect and fame and the respect of their equally weird peers."

It's all about about retardedness and being the most mentally challenged unemployable jerk in the cracker ghetto.

Buzz Aldrin weighs into NASA

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Grenade

It would be more useful than bailing out failed banks for a decade.

But still...

>>terraforming Mars for permanent human occupation

What will Greenpeace say to that?

eBay scuffles with Skype founders

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Stop

How so?

> ebay chief John Donahoe reckons Skype is worth more than $2bn

So ... where are those future earnings coming from?

Blue chip FTP logins found on cybercrime server

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Grenade

Facepalm@AV: That buzzing noise is Friedrick Hayek turning in his grave

"Would it not be a good idea to make it illegal to have a computer connected to the Internet that does not have up-to-date AV software?"

"Would it not be a good idea to make it illegal to have a front door that does not have up-to-date Goldilocks(tm) security lock installed?"

No it does not. Yet more government legislation on things they don't understand, can't control and wouldn't know how to check.

Course, it would be great for the few AV vendors. They could rack up the prices in a jiffy, then call you at home at the end of the year for a "mandatory renewal" ... or else. Cops could also pay a visit, find a non-up-to-date AV, pack away your electronics, GSM, TV and Tivo at gunpoint, then check at leisure for compromising pictures of random children or official buildings that you took for possible "terrorist planning".

Shite, I'm giving the Met ideas here.

US military cyberwar force will work with NSA

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Coffee/keyboard

All these new icons...

...and none to adequately express "big wank at taxpayer's expense".

ESC will have to do.

Rapidshare stung with €24m fine

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Pint

I never download music from rapidshare...

...porn, on the other hand, is more like it.

Nine-ball attack splits security researchers

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Flame

The silly season has begun

"A confusing factor is that there is not one clear infection path. With no fixed start point, no set route and no fixed end point, linking a series together and appreciating that it’s all part of the same campaign is not an easy thing to do"

The old philosophical question: "what does it all mean"?

Ministry of Defence offers luvvies reprieve

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Flame

Clairvoyant bicycling pony-riding juggling singing dog trick

"Ofcom works out what the spectrum would be worth on the open market and charges that amount"

Yes.

US record industry wins $1.92m from file sharer

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Coat

So what?

In five years, she will be able to pay all that in USD by working for about half a day at McDonalds.

Mine's the one with the portable disk full of "stolen" music and the Walther P99.

US city demands FaceSpaceGooHoo log-ins from job seekers

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Flame

"what we look for is none of the things that the federal constitution lists as protected things"

...because, uhhhh... its doesn't list any? Even the amendements don't.

If such a questionnaire would be put before me, I would suppose that I somehow slipped into the job interview scene of Men In Black.

Anyway, should be just minutes and a few phone calls before the pullout occurs. These guys are not NSA and/or are under a presidential snooping umbrella.

US feds subpoena names of anonymous web commenters

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Flame

Raaahhh yes!

Condemning the IRS, the court system, the US treasury, paper money, public schools, communists....

...not very productive but at least the heart is in the right place.

Actually, I think they should be raging against the Federal Reserve for unsustainable inflation of the money supply, not the treasury.

Germany poised to impose police-run block list

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Flame

Well then...

... we can count the number of minutes until any site discussing the holocaust and the number of people killed during the same will be included on that list. Then sites with potentially libelious contents to the powers-that-be will be included.

Führerstaat, Ich kann dich nicht vergessen.

Gartner: Windows 7 upgrade catch for XP converts

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Seven Up!

I feel like Statler and Waldorf ... observing, with glee and cackling hilarity, the tremendous mass of Windows Seven transforming slowly into a Marketing Train Wreck due to the patented Microsoft mix of hubris and dumbness.

Iran's nuke boffins prefer Opteron baby supers

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Flame

Take you for this Dick Cheney innuendofest

"ARI, of course, makes no mention of nuclear weapons in reference to its rockets, and according to its projects listing says that it is creating a sounding rocket, which is a sub-orbital rocket designed to carry scientific instruments to high altitudes."

Yes. Neither does the IAEA, which continues to verify the non-diversion of any nuclear material in Iran.

The only ones to cry "wolf" over Iran "nukes" are:

1) Israelis, who apparently need some sort of permanent siege mentality heroin fix

2) The US politicians under influence of Israelis (secret services being more circumspect) and probably still steaming along ex-commander Cheney's "confronting Iran" course. Luckily he got told by his generals before he could act on that.

3) The Europeans under influence of the US

"Iran is not supposed to be able to get its hands on information technology made in the United States. (Or Germany, where the AMD chips are actually made.)"

Yes. If you really want to say something, you might consider telling people that this is embargo is totally illegal as Iran is and continues to be in compliance with its NPT IAEA Safeguards Agreement. Which is more than can be said of certain other countries that haven't even bother to join the NPT.

Sun killing 'Rock' Sparc chip?

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@Louis Savain

"time to force the baby boomers (the Turing Machine worshippers) to finally retire and boldly break away from 20th century’s failed computing models."

In shorthand Internetese: "Learn2TheoreticalComputerScience". Nobody worships the TM and the TM is not implemented _anywhere_ (except maybe in Lego, as seen on Youtube).

Sadly, the referenced blogpost does not exactly propose a valid solution; 12-year olds have such ideas between supper and bedtime all the time.

As for Rock; well, these are sad times when soon-bought companies can say "NO" to promising chip projects. I was really looking forward to a transactional memory implementation. But what will Oracle do with all the research & development and, I suppose, the attendant patents? Will they go to Intel or to IBM?

Microsoft fans call for Opera boycott

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Flame

I sincerely hope this is some brain-excised MS astroturfing action...

Exhorting people to delete a piece of software that they most probably do not have and per definition would not have if they followed the exhortation must be the most bizarre pastime I have encountered in the recent past.

Burning time by posting crayon-drawn pictures of antropomorphic furry animals in various states of sexual activity is positively enriching and productive in comparison.

"Hello!!! Do I really need to explain to you how ridiculous that is?"

No sir. Indeed not.

Worst of recession is past but tech jobs harder to find

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"Worst is over seems" to be the new orthodoxy.

Maybe it's a relative thing; the worst being relatively more over in the UK than in the US.

Still made my day in a sick sort of way.

"America’s Great Depression/ Fifth Edition / Murray N. Rothbard"

By early 1930, people were generally convinced that there was little to worry about. Hoover’s decisive actions on so many fronts—wages, construction, public works, farm supports, etc., indicated to the public that this time swift national planning would turn the tide quickly. Farm prices then seemed to be recovering, and unemployment had not yet reached catastrophic pro-

portions, averaging less than 9 percent of the labor force in 1930. Such leaders as Hoover, William Green, and Charles Schwab issued buoyantly optimistic statements about early recovery, and Hoover was hailed on all sides as a great statesman. At the end of

June, Hoover urged further state and city action to expand public works and thus cure unemployment, and on July 3rd, Congress authorized the expenditure of a giant $915 million public works program, including a Hoover Dam on the Colorado River."

But then...