* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

16005 publicly visible posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

3D printed guns: This time it's for real! Oh, wait – no, still crap

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Trollface

/k/ is calling and wants its educational rants back!

guns are actually relatively simple machines

I think I am not mistaken in the belief that they are one the most lovingly honed and exceedingly titivated simple machines, too.

Right up there with muscle cars and high-maintenance women.

Net neutrality Thursday PROTESTS: Time to learn your chant

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Windows

Can anyone tell me what this is about?

Because I don't know even.

I read through the EFF posting but I am none the wiser.

Microsoft's TV product placement horror: CNN mistakes Surface tabs for iPAD stands

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Windows

It's cool.

I recognize none of the shows except "Dr. Who" and that Oprah woman.

I stopped watching TV after the OJ trial, looks like the correct decision.

Why Comrade Cameron went all Russell Brand on the UK’s mobile networks

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Paris Hilton

Oh give me a home where the VultureNets roam...

It advertises low prices and has a capex budget for its first 10 years of precisely £0.00. All calls are therefore roaming calls, parasitic on the established four networks’ infrastructure.

This ain't no "roaming call". VultureNet is a "virtual operator" and I would guess they will have to pay the infrastructure provider buckos to carry traffic. "Roaming" is when you log in to another network to make the call, and I can tell you that fat files are changing hands servers daily for "reconciliation". "Parasitic" my lice-infested arse.

Also, these operator arguments sound very much like some of the stuff I was ordered to make up when employed a national incumbent operator (not UK) more than a decade ago. They nearly make sense.

Feds investigate Homeland Security background checker security breach

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Headmaster

Bureaucratic bacon to cover other bureaucratic bacon with efficiency cheese.

That question has been posed about 12 years ago and is still waiting for an answer.

A freedom medal awaits the genius who finds one.

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Headmaster

Re: So much money wasted @ Crazy Operations Guy

So much White Man's Burden and "Woe is me"!

Stop considering Saudi Arabia as friend, Israel as the plucky champion, Iran as enemy and stop having the stupid idea that you can implant democracy wholesale in foreign lands that have been infected by yourselves with wild ideas back when you wanted to get the soviets out.

Enjoy the permafail.

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Holmes

"All the markings of a state-sponsored attack."

Nobody left a file with "H4ckEd by TEAM PakistAN, OLOLOLOLL" on the server?

Call of Duty, GTA V do not make youth more violent

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Holmes

colonel_kurtz_approves_of_this_method.jpg

Consider that ISIS bans video games and these guys are ANGRY.

Clearly a negative correlation.

colonel_kurtz_approves_of_this_method.jpg

7 questions we're dying to ask the internet's most exciting bloke

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Paris Hilton

"How will you make the ITU more relevant to the digital age?"

Very open-ended. So what has changed in the digital age that makes the ITU less or as much relevant as before? The hands-on work of small teams on digital communications? RFCs? Why make the ITU *more* relevant?

"Is the ITU content with its current status"?

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Paris Hilton

Re: yep

Why is that relevant to telecoms though? Do women / LG / asexuals / transgender / alternatively sexual people experience telecoms differently?

Fatty Brit 4G networks slow down. Too much Bacon, perhaps?

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Paris Hilton

Re: Too much bacon.

Don't you mean Francis Bacon, "the father of modern pork rind"?

UN takeover of internet postponed indefinitely

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Re: We do not need to trust these people and we should not trust them.

> subpoena

So quaint.

RBS faces biggest ever fine for THAT huge IT meltdown – leak

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Trollface

Re: From an insider

"we know what caused this particular megadisaster, and it wasn't a senior manager; as mentioned in the article, it was an inexperienced member of IT staff screwing up a batch job."

Those events in the Berlin Bunker could all have been avoided if that inexperienced sergeant in Greece had properly followed procedures and applied a different key to his Lorentz machine on the second round!

How Hollywood film-makers wove proper physics into Interstellar

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WTF?

Re: so 'Lost in Space' gets a reboot.

Spoilers: here.

Actually it's FAIL at physics because it involves copying quantum data via classical channel.

sadfrog.jpg

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Re: Soooo....

Space worker Ripley disagrees with out. So there.

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Windows

Re: Am I in the right place?

Am I at the Register? I seem to be surrounded by cynical old bastards.

Because El Reg forums becomes more and more of an old pirate bar, with Orlowski ranting time and again from the upper stairway like a village priest to general rolling of eyes, and everyone hoping that they will still manage to actually see the world burn before the last bourbon is absorbed, while young ones stumble through the front door, full of wide-eyed naiveté and start to post things that apparently are full of earnest hope.

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IT Angle

Riding the accretion disk?

A crispy critter is you!

So what kind of cluster was this computed on? Come on, Reg!

Crypto collision used to hijack Windows Update goes mainstream

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Re: Something is broken... the method

It's about as hard. Adding random bytes to your malware should do the trick. But you do need at least a man-in-the-middle attack situation to pull of the subsitution. OTOH, if you are forging material that has been digitally signed and is sitting on the notary's disk, you may well have all the time in the world.

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Holmes

Re: it ought to be impossible to recover the original information.

It is also very hard indeed to recover the image of James Brown out of 64 byte.

Facebook: We are being slurped 24 per cent more by govt this year

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Paris Hilton

I thought you had no right "to see me naked"?

No, wait. This is Leviathan who demands sacrifice, not Google.

Carry on then,

Rich techbro CEOs told to sleep rough before slamming the poor

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Facepalm

New depths of stupid plumbed by clueless pol: Film at 11

"We need to get CEOs to do two things: live on food stamps for a week, or spend a night in a homeless shelter"

This is going to help how? Looks like she doesn't understand what a CEO actually is. If the shareholders want to spend the dividends, why not? The CEO has no authority to drop cash onto the streets and I would like to see him removed if that ever occurred.

Also, "Income Inequality" is a consequence, not a cause and not a problem. It is a consequence of protectionist measures, rent-seeking and the state making hiring people an ugly proposition. Did I mention calling CEOs criminals for having the temerity to do their job? Not to mention "industrial policies" of all sort.

With that kind of populist shit on the air, it's like we are really at a Marxist rally.

Having a Web Summit? Get some decent Wi-Fi!

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Re: It could have been worse...the power could have gone out!!

I think there are not enough swiss watchmakers for that.

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Paris Hilton

Re: What? Techies that don't have their own mobile data plan?

"is that I was not attempting to solve the problem for the cheapskate unwashed masses wandering around looking for free wifi, but simply to mock them"

Is this the "I was just pretending to be retarded" defense?

Still no start date for UK.gov’s £6bn Tech Products contract

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Pint

Tell me that what I am reading I am not actually reading

“customers with urgent requirements”

Up for a bit of free-air defecation inna woods, I hope?

Hold onto your hats and follow the BYOD generation

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We still have a rotary dial phone at our house.

KARMA POLICE! ARREST THIS MAN!!

iBail: American Psycho actor Christian Bale rejects Steve Jobs role

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Fuck no. He would probably start ranting about genocided Guatemalan campesinos mid-way through, to be solved with the usual recipe.

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Re: Perhaps a change in film style

Gordon Freeman with anger issues?

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Alien

Steve Jobs biopic: as troubled as Fincher's "Alien³"

At least we will have all the Jobs we need.

Politicians' prayers come true, in a sense.

Taylor Swift dumps Spotify: It’s not me, it’s you

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Re: Not a fan...

That makes it hard for anyone, not just Spotify, to maintain an ethical business.

No, that assumes that the people who will pay for Miss Swifts albumas on amazon or wherever are the same as those that faff around with YouTube videos. Even after 10 years of repetition, it sounds weird to me, aking to talking up radio as the merciless killer of pop starlets.

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Facepalm

Re: I've said before ...

> A content strike

Aka, "no content" and get a paying job instead.

Frankly its sounds like an idea that could come out of a meeting of the Communist Party.

Apple OSX Yosemite infested by nasty 'Rootpipe' vuln

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Headmaster

Re: OK Name an OS or Program That Does Not Have Holes as Yet Unfound and Patched

It is a pity that people do not realise that code can be highly complex and that errors or bugs will happen.

It is a pity that formal verification methods are still considered with suspicion by the unwashed masses who would rather hack a wheelchair then test it than specify a bicycle and generate it.

ICANN, ICAN'T, IWON'T: uWHAT? How the internet is actually run

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Re: Fascinating article

Welcome to the reality of egomaniacs living on taxpayer dime.

LastPass releases Open Source command line client

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Facepalm

Re: A bigger attack surface

Then just don't hand out the password, idiot.

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Thumb Down

Re: Meh

Yeah well that's not how it works.

The only question of interest is whether the lastpass vault has been correctly encrypted before being pushed to lastpass servers

It could then reside on NSA disks, no-one would need to care.

What you need to know about keeping your cloud data safe

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Holmes

Historically inaccurate.

Amazingly, the ships conveniently lined up in Pearl Harbor, were dreadnoughts that were from WWI except the Arizona. The crown jewels, the aircraft carriers, were otherwise occupied (either in the Atlantic or on resupply missions). Dodged a bullet there. Or, considering the clownish antics in trying to NOT tell Kimmel that he had a target painted on his back, maybe not.

Of course, the comparison fails otherwise anyway.

Virgin 'spaceship' pilot 'unlocked tailbooms' going through sound barrier

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Facepalm

Re: Governments won't get us into space to any degree that matters

Well, yes they have - twas Governments that made the first steps into space - and no first step, no second step.

You seem to be confusing "promising to wipe out our cities" with "steps into space".

They are still promising btw, better and harder.

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Facepalm

Re: Why are these guys even in charge?

Well, why do you need a NTSB to do that? It's not like the spacecraft came together without any engineering. Is it like having a project manager?

Does design need to be changed, so the tail can't be deployed by mistake?

And who will come up with that idea?

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Thumb Down

Re: "Wealthy customers have signed up in large numbers to see a black sky "

Climb a remote mountain or sail offshore - at night

Call the Waaahambulance - Someone is not spending his money as Anonymous Coward and God intend.

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Big Brother

Why are these guys even in charge?

Safety Board.

So basically they have looked long and hard at the tapes and come up with some stunning conclusions?

“We’re a long way from finding cause, we still have months and months of investigation to do, a lot that we don’t know and we have extensive data sources to go through,”

"Me gonna be employed for a loooong time."

I would understand this if a TWA 800 dumps into the ocean (then conveniently explains away explosive residue anyway), but this?

European astronaut exposes eerie snaps of ISS in Twitter feed

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Devil

Re: Dangling cables

Just keep a wrecking bar ready.

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Re: In space no-one can hear you scream

As the walls are only teflon with cheap china-sourced aluminium support, you would be looking at SUCKING DECOMPRESSION HORROR.

Also:

"The astronauts of the ISS certainly seem to have Anglophile tendencies, as they stick strictly to GMT, occupying the same time zone as the cockneys."

Didn't build the Honourable East India Company and all that imperial stuff for nothing, then?

Oracle users open can of whup-ass on licensing policies

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Welcom to Red Larrydrome

Eating the seedcorn? Shurely not!

So how is the atmosphere INSIDE?

Disney wins Mickey Mouse patent for torrent-excluding search engine

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Pirate

Re: What happened to USER requests?

The search engine is called Amazon.

> Clickety Click.

> "Buy now"

> "Due to licensing restrictions, this content is not available for your region"

> ????

> Torrent me this shit!

Anyone who implements "licensing restrictions" deserves to be pirated to death into a festering heap of maggoty shares and unredeemable debt.

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Paris Hilton

Re: Disney patents internet search censorship

How exactly are they meant to do that? We are already pretty far into brownshirt territory nowadays, but for such a move you will have to put on a black tie, too.

Spooky ghost light reveals dead galaxies torn apart over 6bn years

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Headmaster

The title should be "Against a Dark Background"

The Imitation Game: Bringing Alan Turing's classified life to light

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Holmes

Re: Really?

No, no, no: Tunny was broken by not Turing. The part about the Poles is correct though. See also: Hut 8.

Ex-Soviet engines fingered after Antares ROCKET launch BLAST

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Re: fabricated in Ukraine, not Russia

We are at war with Iranasia as long as AIPAC controls the money spigot.

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It sounds like there is a Potemkin Village somewhere around the next street.

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Big Brother

Re: There is only one hope for our undertaking....

Well, Korolev CAME FROM the gulag because "ZOMG HITLER, AYYY MOTHERLAND!", so there is that.

Along the line of that Turing Biopic: The Chief Designer

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Re: Re:The simple fact is

Chernobyl

Not physics and math.

Engineering, mixed with politics.

Welcome to the retardation.

But at least you get free national parks with that.