nav search
Data Centre Software Security DevOps Business Personal Tech Science Emergent Tech Bootnotes
BOFH
Lectures

* Posts by Destroy All Monsters

15945 posts • joined 3 Jun 2008

Boffins get fish drunk to prove what any bouncer already knows

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Trollface

No alcohol, red bull chemtrail drink and coffee in moderation....

The lands towards the south must be rather peaceful

3
0

Reel talk: You know what's safely offline? Tape. Data protection outfit Veeam inks deal with Quantum

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Safe until ...

G. Triffids attack.

H. Putin hacks base reality at the quantum level and overwrites your tape with Ukrainian Jokes.

6
1

US voting systems: Full of holes, loaded with pop music, and 'hacked' by an 11-year-old

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

I wonder why it always comes down to money?

Stalin was right insofar as sometimes it comes down to just bayonets and get a move on.

2
0

Criminal justice software code could send you to jail and there’s nothing you can do about it

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Former NSA top hacker names the filthy four of nation-state hacking

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Beyond Parody

According to Joyce there are four primary actors when it comes to states hacking states: Russia, China, Iran and North Korea. Notably missing from the list was the US, but let's face it, he wasn't going to go into detail about that.

There's is another one missing, which is also renowned for bumping of scientists in the street and showing 100% guaranteed fake shit at the UN to drum up some fear with incredible chutzpah.

6
5

What do a meth, coke, molly, heroin stash and Vegas allegedly have in common? Broadcom cofounder Henry Nicolas

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Other than...

Who the hell cares about what they were spending their money on?

Manufactured outrage buoys the news in 2018.

People are now used to let their holier-than-you attitude hang out all day flapping in the wind while getting dripfed some twitter inanities.

4
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Another affluenza victim, shirley.

as Mueller slowly works his way up to the top

At some point he's probably going to have to meet himself then.

0
8

Work at a startup? Think US military isn't good enough at killing? We've got the program for you

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

You can never have enough killtech as your empire crumbles into blue dust.

Guess the CIA has its own program and Facebook and Twitter did successful pitches.

6
0

Clap, damn you, clap! Samsung's Bixby 2.0 AI reveal is met with apathy

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: wrong quote

The only thing appropriate as you drive up to FaceAppTweetOggle ControlPlex: "We should have shotguns for this kind of deal".

1
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: "Do not want" is not strong enough.

I really consider this something that not having would be far superior to having.

The only thing I would really want would be a SDK with a flat learning curve so that I can compose my own ultra-simple mobile interface and leave out all the crud and weird asynchronous Google event shit.

1
1

The off-brand 'military-grade' x86 processors, in the library, with the root-granting 'backdoor'

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Bullshit. A user is not forced to make a physical action to do a kernel call either.

A good enough procedure would a kernel parameter that sets the Alternate Instruction Set Allowed bit.

15
2

Space, the final Trump-tier: America to beam up $8bn for Space Force

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Interesting

I'm sure Russia has a Space Spetznaz team all ready to go if they need to rapidly board & take over ISS.

3
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Trollface

This sad and ancient religion: Veep Vader cargocults!

space development

I'm sure lawyers will lobby for "eminent domain" legislation soon.

In the meantime, due to the neverending aggravated/crippling/debilitating/asscracking sanctions, Russia is mulling "no more rocket engines for you": https://www.rt.com/business/435560-russia-retaliate-sanctions-rocket-engines/

5
0

Revealed: El Reg blew lid off Meltdown CPU bug before Intel told US govt – and how bitter tech rivals teamed up

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Trollface

Why are there people developing Blue Screens of Death and why should anyone have notified them?

6
0

Intel: Yeah, yeah, 10nm. It's on the todo list. Now, let's talk about AI...

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Mushroom

DUMB SHIT

"Autonomous vehicles will run on data just as today's vehicles run on gasoline."

The self-driving part won't work very well and the data will be shit while the gasoline will be very expensive and will be really really necessary.

1
0

ZX Spectrum Vega+ blows a FUSE: It runs open-source emulator

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

> they couldn't have been that crap.

There was nothing to compare against.

31
5

DXC will be damned if it lets cloud cannibalise the IT outsourcing biz before DXC does

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Pyramid rebalancing was about having fewer decisions makers in management and more workers doing the work.

Like sharpening razor blades under a pyramidform structure.

1
0

Google's cuddling up to China with clouds in its eyes – reports

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Times change...

Where are those Google murals? Impressive, they must be.

0
0

TSMC chip fab tools hit by virus, payment biz BGP hijacked, CCleaner gets weird – and more

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: We Snoop

Fear leads to GDPR.

1
0

Linux kernel 4.18 delayed: Bug ate my rc7, says Linus Torvalds

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Linus should really learn from Microsoft

"Unix won because worse is better."

No!! Windows won because worse is better. (Otherwise the pure hack of Windows 1.x would,'t have survived against OS/2 + the severely delayed Presentation Manager)

But:

A wrong lesson is to take the parable literally and to conclude that C is the right vehicle for AI software. The 50% solution has to be basically right, and in this case it isn't.

Ah, the East Coast hackers and their LISP. Well, at least we know nowadays that there is no single language for AI software. You need to design one adapted to your problem.

2
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Linux

Re: Linus should really learn from Microsoft

Either Unix is very good, or software engineers are very lazy

Just keep it simple, and functional (i.e. puke out a monolithic Linux kernel instead of waiting for something based on a microkernel to ripen). Did I mention simple: The Art of Unix Programming. (Some chapters may need review in that book though).

Principles should be few. Manuals should be thin. Learing curves should be flat (i.e. you should not need to pull in 10 different knowledge areas when you need to add something to a simple desktop application).

Somewhere in there the viewpoint of "keeping things simple for the C programmer" persists, but C is just horribad and an impediment to smooth design and development nowadays. The symptom is in the difficulty of multithreading applications. Time to morph, I guess.

0
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Stop

Oh no!

Linus' "You are Going Down" face.

1
0

Putting the ass in Atlassian: Helpdesk email server passwords blabbed to strangers

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Windows

That was fast

"The vulnerability has been present since early 2017," Atlassian told its punters. "We first became aware of the issue on July 12, 2018 PST and took immediate action to investigate the matter, issuing a fix early on July 16, 2018 PST."

The way other completely annoying and apparently-not-hard to fix problems with tons of votes are being handled by Atlassian it amazes me that they got to it before 2025.

Unless the problem is "solved" by dropping the feature which is the root cause .... like recursive table in Confluence, ain't it, Atlassian?

8
0

Facebook's security boss is offski. Not to worry, it has 'embedded security' in all divisions

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Windows

Soviets under every bed

Stamos said he had planned to leave earlier this year, shortly after he reportedly clashed with his superiors in arguing the social network needed to be more forthcoming about Russian election interference and disinformation campaigns. Now we know he moving on to become a full time academic, specialising in information security policy, the role of security and technology in society and related areas.

Expect a nevernding spew of books about Digital Pearl Harbor, promotional tours about how Russians are undermining democracy, pwning the Internet of Things and generally probing Zuckerberg's flock using glowing touchscreens from afar.

1
2

Build your own NASA space rover: Here are the DIY JPL blueprints

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: The table with the specs...

ISIS' head will explode

0
0

Riddle me this: TypeScript's latest data type is literally unknown

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

I approve of this

Although I'm not into using JavaScript, nor TypeScript, at least for now.

For the webby interface, elm sounds like a good investment.

For anything else, stay the hell off an ECMAScript runtime.

0
0

The Solar System's oldest minerals reveal the Sun's violent past

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Re: Irradiation in the early solar system

> achieving critical mass

This is not a fission reactor.

You need to dump hydrogen and some trace elements of "other stuff" onto the big heap until the pressure and heat at the center start to be sufficiently high to sometimes get a deuterium nucleus out of the proton-proton assembly <-> disassembly at equilibrium. This takes a long time. Real Astrophysicists may want to say more.

I would call this "it gently warms up from the inside"; you would just be looking at a ball of hydrogen shedding the heat generated by infall for a many millions of years, until convection causes the interior to bubble up.

2
0

Facebook deletes 17 accounts, dusts off hands, beams: We've saved the 2018 elections

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Moron!

It is a source of something, but what?

8
0

Pentagon 'do not buy' list says нет to Russia, 不要 to Chinese code

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Big Brother

Source code Mandrake. Router source code.

This move sparked some serious concerns, not least because some of these companies are major suppliers to America's military. Exposing the source code to Moscow's agents would show Russian spies where to attack installed equipment and software to eavesdrop on the US administration.

Rank paranoia.

We know what source code is.

It is not a magical black liquid that sloshes at the bottom of circuit boards that allows one to "eavesdrop" from across the world one it has been seen unbottled.

But it's good that I don't need to read about "Soviet spies" as seems to crop up from time to time in The Meedja.

1
1

Relax, Amazon workers – OpenAI-trained robo hand isn't much use (well, not right now)

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Windows

Excellent (what's with the trans bluhair style?)

The researchers hope that this will eventually lead to progress in building robots that can cope with our volatile and mutable reality while helping humans with chores at home and at work.

It's a hand! Animated by a neural network, which is a thing that does processing at insect capabilities.

There is a whole (situated) robot to which it must be attached which doesn't exist. (cue Miles Bennett Dyson in the Cyberdyne vault)

There is much to do.

As Rodney Brooks writes

Consider AlphaGo, the program that beat 18 time world Go champion, Lee Sedol, in March of 2016. The program had no idea that it was playing a game, that people exist, or that there is two dimensional territory in the real world–it didn’t know that a real world exists. So AlphaGo was very different from Lee Sedol who is a living, breathing human who takes care of his existence in the world.

I remember seeing someone comment at the time that Lee Sedol was supported by a cup of coffee. And Alpha Go was supported by 200 human engineers. They got it processors in the cloud on which to run, managed software versions, fed AlphaGo the moves (Lee Sedol merely looked at the board with his own two eyes), played AlphaGo’s desired moves on the board, rebooted everything when necessary, and generally enabled AlphaGo to play at all. That is not a Super Intelligence, it is a super basket case.

We need more (unless you are doing task-oriented kill problems for the military for example):

Theoretical Impediments to Machine Learning With Seven Sparks from the Causal Revolution, Judea Pearl, 2018-01-15

Current machine learning systems operate, almost exclusively, in a statistical, or model-free mode,

which entails severe theoretical limits on their power and performance. Such systems cannot reason about interventions and retrospection and, therefore, cannot serve as the basis for strong AI. To achieve human level intelligence, learning machines need the guidance of a model of reality, similar to the ones used in causal inference tasks. To demonstrate the essential role of such models, I will present a summary of seven tasks which are beyond reach of current machine learning systems and which have been accomplished using the tools of causal modeling.

(Also get Judea Pearl's "The Book of Why", it's full of fun)

9
1

Microsoft devises new way of making you feel old: Windows NT is 25

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: NT

> KDE 5 is making me start thinking that things are going backwards

Oh, so I'm not the only one.

(And stop banning my comments, El Reg, shits' worse than liberal lilly webzines like HuffPo)

1
5

Hot US deal! IBM wins $83m from Groupon in e-commerce patent spat

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Hmmm ...

Aren't these patents from before the raving-bonkers-by-greed-era when was not possible to patent business processes and software algorithms? If so, how does that work? Did IBM file them afterwards?

1
0

'Prodigy' chip moonshot gets hand from Arm CPU guru Prof Steve Furber

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Actually I was thinking of

Too cute a re-ordering and your end users carefully crafted high level numerical algorithm turns to rubbish. Quickly produced rubbish results are still rubbish.

I don't understand this. There are people "carefully crafting" memory access operations implied by FORTRAN loops?

Are they completely nuts. Do the compilers actually DO anything?

0
0

Nah, it won't install: The return of the ad-blocker-blocker

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Trollface

I have a T-Shirt that says "Aperture Science"

Did someone mention Tommy Hilfifif(n)gerer?

Have some William Gibson:

She's gone to Harvey Nichols and gotten sick.

Should have known better.

How she responds to labels.

Down into menswear, unrealistically hoping that if anyone might have a Buzz Rickson's it would be Harvey Nichols, their ornate Victorian pile rising like a coral reef opposite Knightsbridge station. Somewhere on the ground floor, in cosmetics, they even have Helena Stonestreet's cucumber mask, Bernard having explained to her how he'd demonstrated his considerable powers of suasion on the HN buyers.

But down here, next to a display of Tommy Hilfiger, it's all started to go sideways on her, the trademark thing.

Less warning aura than usual. Some people ingest a single peanut and their head swells like a basketball.

When it happens to Cayce, it's her psyche.

Tommy Hilfiger does it every time, though she'd thought she was safe now. They'd said he'd peaked, in New York. Like Benetton, the name would be around, but the real poison, for her, would have been drawn. It's something to do with context, here, with not expecting it in London. When it starts, it's pure reaction, like biting down hard on a piece of foil.

A glance to the right and the avalanche lets go. A mountainside of Tommy coming down in her head.

My God, don't they know? This stuff is simulacra of simulacra of simulacra. A diluted tincture of Ralph

Lauren, who had himself diluted the glory days of Brooks Brothers, who themselves had stepped on the product of Jermyn Street and Savile Row, flavoring their ready−to−wear with liberal lashings of polo knit and regimental stripes. But Tommy surely is the null point, the black hole. There must be some Tommy Hil−figer event horizon, beyond which it is impossible to be more derivative, more removed from the source, more devoid of soul. Or so she hopes, and doesn't know, but suspects in her heart that this in fact is what accounts for his long ubiquity.

She needs out of this logo−maze, desperately. But the escalator to the street exit will dump her back into Knightsbridge, seeming somehow now more of the same, and she remembers that the street runs down, and always her energy with it, to Sloane Square, another nexus of whatever she suffers these reactions to. Laura Ashley, down there, and that can get ugly.

Remembering the fifth floor, here: a sort of Californian market, Dean & Deluca lite, with a restaurant, a

separate and weirdly modular robotic sushi operation humming oddly in its midst, and a bar where they served excellent coffee.

9
0

Microsoft celebrates a bumper financial year ... by making stuff pricier

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Windows

Microsoft is getting less releveant for "workstation" use

Maintaining a Microsoft Winstallation in a company is a horror trip as it hits the "Problem Spot" of high maintenace, high exposure to security problems, high fragility and utter loss of control over price and future evolution, like exactly a woman you *don't* want to marry. (And then you get high with a "license audit". Great stuff.)

Office people need a dumb, easily managed, easily wiped and reinstalled stateless station on which they can admire their useless and bug-ridden Excel sheet, browse YouTube and sometimes read "rally the troops" e-mail from the inner boss sanctum. Sounds like something Google could offer.

Hey Google, make yourself useful for once. Pseudo-intellectual mendacious arseholes, you.

5
6

Swan dive: Intel shares dip under interim CEO Bob as 10nm processor woes worry Wall Street

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Intel's shares are down nearly six per cent at time of writing to $49.21 apiece.

That's what comes from not delivering on-chip zero-point energy sources that can roast a unicorn in 10 minutes in a timely manner!

7
1

Politicians fume after Amazon's face-recog AI fingers dozens of them as suspected crooks

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Windows

This is not Terminator identifying John Connor

Biases in training data are known to trickle through to machine learning systems. It could be that the Rekognition and the mugshot dataset contained a disproportionate number of men and people of color.

Normal people, as opposed to the "equitable outcome" (50% black/50% white, no asian) bunch of crazies call that "bias" reality.

This is all bullshit anyway, larded with 2018 levels of completely irrelevant Twitter "construct-outrage".

We are talking here about the standard problem of any information retrieval algorithm since forever, served up so that the uncomprehending hoi polloi can get excited over it: Depending on the sensitivity level, you have a trade-off between false positives (wrong matches) and false negatives (wrong non-matches). Here, we are erring on the side of false positives. So tune that level.

And why is Amazon in the business of providing information retrieval algos to Blue Forces and probably US-linked dictators anyway?

2
4

Only a day late and a dollar short, Google: Now its cloud cozies up to Microsoft's GitHub

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Mushroom

MAKE IT STOP!

For those with in-demand tech skills who are still young enough to avoid hiring discrimination, that's undoubtedly true. But it's been true for decades.

It's called "Perpetual immaturity".

It's a thing. And the software wreckage made by overpaid young people full of illusions of adequacy and buyoed by starry-eyed MBA-equipped sociopaths are all around us.

Meckfessel provided a demonstration of how Cloud Build could be used to diagnose a slow ecommerce app, make a fix with a GitHub pull request, validate the changes, run tests, do security scanning and trigger a Spinnaker pipeline to deploy the image.

These circus shows are just worng. It's marketing varnish showing off glitzware. These are the kind of people that made you desire all that cool lego stuff when you were a kid. Well guess what - you couldn't afford it. Same here. You can't get the skills, you can't get the politicial backing in the enterprise, you can't get the money, your perk-demanding prima donnas will ruin it while mumbling trigger words behind hipster beards and its a solution to a problem you don't have anyway. Unless you are Google of course.

"Good programmers copy, great programmers paste," he said in jest but also in truth

No. Fuck off!! Keep these "programmers" away from anything beyond hobby hacking with deadly force if needed. These "programmers" are the reason software suddenly keels over and burns terribly, then no logfile or any diagnostic can be found. Not even a comment because "muh agility and we do zero comment policy". Soon, there will be dead people under the wreckage and then the party will be over.

13
2

HPE supercomputer is still crunching numbers in space after 340 days

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: See for yourself...

Indeed. Don't miss this show!!

1
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

But they are on the ISS, not on the other side of the magnetosphere

What is this clownery?

If you want to go to Mars, you gotta be in "deeper space".

Move that super there for REAL tests.

9
0

Windows 10 Insiders see double as new builds hit the deck – with promises to end Update Rage

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Mushroom

"Mixed Reality" eh

Meanwhile in the Real World, people fight with the monetarized control hell that is Dell firmware + Windows 10 "boot repair" mechanisms + UEFI boot magic to get a standard machine running.

It's a logless, complex, confusing crock and and people responsible should be dragged out of cubicles and hung high and short.

14
0

Brit spending watchdog brands GP Primary Support Care a 'complete mess'

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Is it time for another Adam Curtis movie about the failure the Management Dream?

Yes, yes it is.

1
0

All that dust on Mars is coming from one weird giant alien structure

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Sorry, Neil Armstrong. Boffins say you may not have been first life-form to set foot on the Moon

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: Bacteria are not space aliens

Unless it has a weapon or at least is more intelligent than my dog I don't want to know.

Literally Nazi Philosophy.

They got their asses whipped and just were lucky that the show was over before an excuse could be found to nuke Berlin for good measure.

Somebody was more capable of abstract thought elsewhere. Tough.

7
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Devil

OTOH, we are still waiting for the space launch system from Wakanda.

Wouldn't be the first time in history the white man set foot on a land and claimed Terra nullius.

Pretty sure that never happened.

Ultrakill later doesn't count.

1
2

Google Translate spews doomsday messages, Facebook snatches boffins, and more in AI

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge

Re: What I want to know is...

Who types in "dog" 18 times to Google translate, and sets it to translate from Yoruba to English

Either the much-rumored Internet Dog who no-one knows who he is -- or a "person" from the Twitterverse.

5
0
Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Trollface

Judging by some of the machine translations, it highly possible the model was fed passages from bibles and similar material.

It also appears that Jeff Vandermeer is on the team.

In any case, it appears Google has adjusted its translation code to stop it spewing any obvious creepy portents – for now.

Are these also the guys who will burn "racism" out of the neural networks so that we can have equitable outcomes?

5
0

Happy 10th birthday, Evernote: You have survived Google and Microsoft. For your next challenge...

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Holmes

The desire for convenience: It's like dementia

2016-12: Kids, look at the Deep Learnings! (We’re just going to slurp your data): Oh, Evernote. What have you done?

Just weeks after Evernote announced that it is migrating users’ data from its own servers to Google’s servers, the company has now casually dropped a privacy bombshell. In order for some (unspecified) occult AI magic to work in the future, your data will be merged with other data. Oh. And Evernote staff can read all your notes. ... Perhaps it was naïve of journalists to trust a service that only introduced two-factor authentication after a giant hack in 2013, which obliged its users to change their passwords. Still, many continue to use Evernote. And perhaps it’s naïve of all of us to trust cloud services with anything sensitive. Maybe we should just cut out the middle man, and post our most sensitive data straight to the dark web?

0
0

Boffins mix AI and chemicals to create super-fast lab assistant

Destroy All Monsters
Silver badge
Terminator

Damn!

And here I was hoping that Israeli scientists had finally recreated the Golem of Prague.

"I can ... help ... you, scientist!!"

"Very well. Sort these glass phials, golem."

"As you command!"

Happy_Scientist.jpg

5
0

The Register - Independent news and views for the tech community. Part of Situation Publishing