Posts by Sarah Balfour

Re: @Jay 2

Meanwhile, back in the RealWorld, there are still people who prefer NOT to have everything stuck in cloud land, for the simple reasons that a) they're a tad stuck should the network and/or net connection happen to fail and b) local feels a tad more secure.

Cloud storage is all well and good, but it's got a fair way to go before I'd feel comfy entrusting anything valuable to it. It's useful for storing a backup, in case misfortune should befall the original but as a sole means of storage…? Haven't there been enough hacking attempts recently to convince you that it's not such a clever idea…?

Re: Once upon a time....

This is why I'm glad we don't have the gun laws 'Murica does. From what I gather, it's perfectly legal to give ACTUAL WORKING GUNS to nursery-age kids in some states. There was a documentary on BBC3 a while back called sumnat like 'The Real Rednecks' or 'The Real Hillbillies'; I never saw it, admittedly, but I read the 'last week on TV' blurb in the Torygraph telly paper, which I really wish I'd kept now,, and apparently a 4-year-old lass had been given an actual gun for Crimbo (pink, purple, and sparkly, natch) with a tag that read "Now you can come moose shooting with Daddy, Princess". Not forgetting the 8-year-old who accidentally killed her gun instructor. Kids can't handle the report on any gun more powerful than a Nerf gun.

And, without wishing to take this any further off-topic, how many school massacres have there been in the UK in the past 20 years…? I can only recall one (Dunblane). And how many school massacres have there been in the UK carried out by pupils (current or former)? I can't recall any (but my head is kinda broken at the mo). Whatever you think of America's gun laws, you can't argue with facts.

There's summat inherently wrong about a country which thinks it's okay to give firearms to kids.

Re: They will fall in love with the hair in your ears and your snaggle teeth

I HAVE eaten stuff from skips - been arrested several times for it, too. Seems one man's trash is another man's £50 fine and 100 hours of community service.

I was homeless and starving - much of the stuff supermarkets chuck is very much still edible, it's only petty EU regulations which prohibit it from still being on sale. How DID we survive before 'best before' and 'use by' dates…?! It's a wonder there's anyone still left alive!

M&S and Waitrose provided the richest (in every sense) pickings, as would probably be expected (smoked salmon, smoked rainbow trout, mackerel fillets, pâté (chicken liver, smoked salmon, mackerel, mushroom, de fois gras (that went straight back - I was shocked that either were selling it!), plenty of fruit and dairy). Tesco wasn't worth bothering with, Sainsbury's wasn't bad. Used to get a lot of sarnies from Sainsbury's because it was only a Local; I don't eat bread myself, but I had plenty of takers.

There were places where the fuzz turned a blind eye - yep, plod with consciences DO exist (apologies to any who might be reading this, but my experience with plod, on the whole, ain't been good to say the least).

Shouldn't be a crime anyway; it's been thrown out so, presumably, the thrower didn't want it anymore which, to my mind, makes it fair game. Why arrest someone for being hungry…?

Re: Blackpool

One word: - Rebellion. Shame it's making a bitter irony of the core ideals for which punk once stood these days. When I first learnt of its existence my immediate reaction was "Who the fuck thought that BLACKPOOL would be an ideal location for a festival - punk or otherwise…?!"

There are very few places which vie with Blackpool for the title of Shitesville-on-Sea, but Wrexham and Rhyl are worse - even Llandudno is going the same way. I had the misfortune to stay in a B&B im Rhyl a few years ago, and I had a peridot and amethyst pendant half-inched from my room whilst I was in the shower (the bathrooms were down the landing, none of the rooms were en-suite). It had no value, other than sentimental (it was my nan's) - but that's hardly the point. The cleaner insisted I was mistaken, and I'd not left it in my room, but in the bathroom and one of the other guests had taken it, and she made a great show of going round knocking on doors but, whilst she was doing this, I'd clocked the position of the CCTV camera, the perfect location for staff to see all rooms at once - and keycards make theft feckloads easier; pile of blanks - oh, look, Room 8's gone for a shower, program a card, go to room take what you like, chuck card.

I didn't bother reporting it because I'd been robbed twice prior to that; once from a room in a homeless hostel (the landlord refused to fix the door, or move me) and the second time I was mugged. In both instances, *I* was charged with falsifying a crime and wasting plod time - why…? I'm autistic and was very vague on details because my brain isn't wired like that and, I've found that, to many (NHS, plod, social services…) autistic = attention-seeking liar. I've been accused of faking crime, feigning illness - I HATE cop shops and A&Es - they TERRIFY me; I've been confined to bed for over 3 YEARS because I refuse to deal with the NHS, I simply don't trust it anymore. To be perfectly honest, I don't get humanity - I'm convinced I can't be human because I can't relate to anyone else. I won't regale you with the time GMP decided to kick me swede in at the royal infirmary in Manchester (I think it's a tale I've told at least once before, anyway). I have now decided I'd have to be dead before darkening the doors of either again!

Re: @dan1980

I'm fairly open-minded - so if Darwinian theory's also a crock o' monkey bollocks, then what's the alternative - intergalactic space lizards…?!

I've never really accepted Darwin as definitive, just as the best we've come up with thus far, kinda deal. If there's summat more plausible, I'd like to hear about it.

As an aside, I learnt about the book of Urantia yesterday, on one of my Wikipedia wanderings, have to say I'd never come across it before. Appears to be some kind of a middle ground, i.e. scientific theory acceptable to at least SOME of the sky-fairy fuckwits.

Re: Everyone's cool

…same as the Old Cool.

Re: "Hated"? I do not honestly think that the public invested any strong emotions...

"Disinterest"…? Is impossible to be disinterested when there's only one party. Methinks you mean 'UNinterested' - 'DISinterested' means 'impartiality'.

Oh and we don't spell 'magazine' with an 's' here.

Re: And meanwhile in the real world

Due to the previous comment, my brain automatically blanked out 'is' in the opening sentence.

Re: Jolly good work.

Does anyone recall the BPI's 'Home Taping Is Killing Music!', campaign sometime in the 'early '80s…? It was the primary reason for DJs talking over the ends of tracks (except Peel, as I recall, who was vehemently anti the BPI).

Now, I don't know much about the film industry but, as far as the music biz goes, many artists are PRO 'piracy', particularly in the US. Up until a couple of years ago, there was a band called Bomb The Music Industry!, founded by Jeff Rosenthal (a well-known figure in cult punk circles) which made ALL its recordings available for free download (though you could make a donation if you so desired). NOFX frontman, and owner of Fat Wreck Chords, 'Fat' Mike Burkett, has not only taken the RIAA to court several times (and won every time) over FWC's name being on the RIAA's books. Apparently, the RIAA simply re-added it, but altered the spelling (Fat Records, Phat Records, Fat Wreck Cords, etc.). Burkett has also been known to pay the fines of anyone convicted of 'illegally' downloading music belonging to any artist on FWC's roster.

99% - if not 100% - of the time, 'anti-piracy' has fuck all to do wth protecting the artists - and everything to do with ensuring the suits get their big, fat cheques. Trent Reznor has been known to ENCOURAGE the downloading of anything he's been involved with, just to piss off the suits. I've several NIN LPs - and I've only ever paid for a couple. Graham Crabb once told me I could download PWEI's new one if I couldn't afford it.

Most artists feel that anti-piracy legislation stifles them because it hands too much control over to the labels, and they lose control over what is THEIR intellectual property, after all…

Re: Errrr?

Hey Alison! ;oP

It's the Grammar Gestapo here; "…WHO people invite to parties", if you're using the pronoun as the subject of the sentence, it's 'who', 'whom' is objective, very often used to avoid the generally-accepted-as-being-poor-grammatical-form of ending a sentence with a preposition.

In this instance, the pronoun is referring to you, you are the subject, therefore the correct form is 'who'.

This is one of myriad reasons why I'm Belinda No-Mates…

As for surnames I have, at various points in my life, been referred to as 'Balfar', 'Balfa', 'Belfast', 'Belfart' and, I kid you not, 'Belchfart'.

I don't really watch movies. Think the last one I saw was Shaun of The Dead (and then I only saw half of it). Prior to THAT, fuck knows… the only one I can recall with any clarity is Big - and that was almost 30 years ago!

I don't have the attention span anymore. Most toddlers concentrate on things for longer than I can…

Re: The Register has slipped!

"General high standard"…?! I point the honourable gentleman in the direction of Mr. Haines's pieces, most of which are utter bilge (it's not really his fault, to be fair, most of what he writes is on health topics, and he's only regurgitating the sewage spewed by the NHS. Still, he could do better - or, to be honest, SOME research, a 5-minute Google search would throw up myriad articles which prove that the NHS wouldn't know 'healthy' if it tripped over it! The more I read, the more I become utterly convinced that the UK doesn't HAVE a health service - it probably never has - all it's got is a 'keeping-folk-not-sick-by-giving-them-appallingly-bad-dietary-advice-so-Big-Pharma-can-milk-'em-dry' service, aka the sales and distribution arm of Big Pharma Worldwide, plc. Oh, and if they DON'T believe they're getting their money's worth out of you, they stick ya on statins - if ya weren't sick before, you will be after taking those for a year - soon you'll be popping so many pills you won't have much time for anything else! Oh and if your quack tells you they prevent CHD and stroke, that's marketing spiel, they don't - they cause them. Or significantly increase your risk of suffering one and/or the other, at any rate. Why…? Because it's HDL which caused an increase in overall cholesterol and statins lower overall by lowering HDL, just like those trans-fat and O6-laden spreads do. We NEED cholesterol - without it, we die. The research which 'proved' it caused CHD was conducted on herbivores which CANNOT process it. Oh yeah, they fed it to some dogs too, but there were only 2 of them and they didn't die, so they were deemed an anomaly).

That's the problem with El Reg, it doesn't really do its homework; when it comes to matters of health, Reg, I expect FAR better than just a regurgitation of the standard NHS BS.

I sent you an email on the subject. You ignored it. If this were a paper mag, this would be the point where I'd be informing your subs dept that I no longer wished to continue.

I really DO expect better in future…

Been the opposite case for me; I've had THREE genuine Apple, bought from a physical Apple Store, chargers blow up - I've now got 2 iDevices happily charging on no-name generics, which have been problem-free for >2 years.

Apple makes overpriced shite; I'm typing this on a 5th gen Touch, which is well out of AppleCare; due to the 'style over substance' way these things are manufactured, for the past year the screen has been parting company with the backplate, the resulting gap now being around 3mm or so - wife enough to slide a thumbnail into - and, in order to force it to charge - and to prevent the Home button falling out - I've a hair elastic round the base. If I didn't it'd be complaint that "this charger isn't certified…" - even though this iPod is using a genuine Apple charger - which hasn't exploded. Yet.

My old 4th gen on the other hand, has been subjected to some unspeakable abuses - including being dropped down the bog. Twice - and there's nary a scratch on it.

If there was another company which produced summat like an iPod, I'd never buy from Apple again. Even Apple appears to be considering dropping it…

Gaelic - would that be Welsh, Irish, Scots, Manx, or Cornish…?

Re: Put it on the Autobahn, then

I'm assuming by 'spellchecker' you're referring to yourself, yes…? An automated spellchecker will only pick up obvious misspellings, it ain't gonna identify where the numptie operating the computer has substituted a homonym for the correct word.

Personally, I believe it's bad practice to rely on spell/grammar checkers, you should learn to proofread your work; an automated tool is no substitute for a human brain, it can't know that you've used the wrong word, all it can do is check spellings according to its internal dictionary. At most newspapers - the ones worth bothering with, at least - mags et al, Word (or the WP of choice) is 'locked down' so that the spelling and grammar checkers CANNOT be turned on, and the journo must learn to proofread his/her copy.

But, if English isn't your native tongue, I'll let you off with a warning… ;oD

Re: Crime and Punishment

Unless you're in a shopping centre on a Saturday…

Re: AC Could read it both ways.....

Most blokes I know do - every fucking weekend during the footie/rugger/cricket season(s)… Pre Match Tension and, if they lost, Post Match Tantrum… not to mention Ref Rage/Ump Hump…

This is the reason I'm currently single (and remaining so…). When my uncle's watching Yorkshire - and they're losing - it's like being in the same room as Geoff Boycott (only with MUCH choicer language…).

After what WE have to put up with from some of you, the fact that you have to cope with us getting a bit tetchy once a month…

I REALLY don't think you've any right to complain…

It WASN'T £45k she nicked…

That was simply the amount she was originally ordered to repay. The actual FRAUD was closer to £100k. She's actually been allowed to keep £49,200 but, with her £20k or so handshake, we actually GAVE her another £14,200 - it's WIN, WIN, WIN! Oh and let's not forget the profit she made on the sale of her 2nd home (the one we - well not ME, I'm a filthy workshy scrounger, me - paid her mortgage on). The property sold for £1.2m, I forget what she made on the deal, but it was quite substantial. She even transferred ownership of that property to avoid CGT.

Osbourne is guilty of doing EXACTLY the same; he transferred the mortgage on his 2nd property to an outfit owned - or partially owned, at least - by an old chum, who gave him a stupidly-low rate of something like 1.5 or 2%. He's also defrauded the taxpayer of a similar amount but, in Gidiot's case, he can legitimately plead stupidity as he's never passed a maths exam in his LIFE!

I actually favour Trial by Gunge; Graham Norton's tipping red chair, one of Edmonds's gunge tanks and a panel of taxpayers. MP forced into chair and obliged to disclose everything for which they want to claim. Selected taxpayer pushes a remote button, MP falls backwards into gunge tank. I figure that, once they've had a few Savile Row suits and Jermyn Street shirts ruined - or wherever the females get their togs (I bet you anything it won't be M&S!) it'll learn 'em…

Of course the taxpayer probably paid for those in the first place - but at least it'll act as a deterrent to prevent claims for any MORE (same goes for under-crackers, IDS…).

The new 'culture and equalities' incumbent is Sajid Javid; he thinks that ticket-touts are "opportunistic entrepreneurs" and he voted AGAINST the Equal Marriage Bill. He's also another Tory Boy, declaring himself a fan of The Maggot before he was out of primary school!

In other news, Cameron now believes he's Jesus, claiming that his 'Big Society' BS was directly inspired by JC…

All together now… "He's NOT the messiah, he's a VERY naughty boy!"

Re: Funding

Taking the HS out of it too, would be an excellent idea - the NHS doesn't give a flying fuck about your health. Okay, if you're hurt in an accident, then fine, but on a general, day-to-day basis…? It's just the UK sales and distribution arm of Big Pharma Worldwide, plc. Your GP is nowt more than a sales rep, need students are STILL being taught myths which were thoroughly debunked, discredited and exploded in the early/mid-'80s, as fact, and the NHS REFUSES to alter its dietary policy, despite OVERWHELMING evidence that it's WRONG.

I'm sorry, but the NHS is NOT a 'health service'; it MAY have been at some point, but it sure as hell ain't now.

If there's anyone here on statins, you'll want to read this: - http://www.drmalcolmkendrick.org. Still think avoiding fat is healthy…? Read this: - http://www.dietdoctor.com/FAQ.

I don't trust the NHS anymore. Neither should you…

Re: I invite the US and the other 5 eyes partners...

Nah, 6 - Babes (blokes), Beaches, Booze, Beer, Bacon and a Bong (or several) - can't do without my MJ! I

Actually, scratch that, just gimme a beach, a BBQ, Bacon and the Bong(s). Oh wait a BoomBox too, this party needs tunes, right…?!

Re: www = internet

No, usually, at least from the techy-support stuff I've done it's "MY Internet's down"; what, you have your own personal Internet now…?! This article validates my pedantry; the number of times I've corrected folk and got "Same thing, innit…?!" I've tried to analogise by saying that calling the WWW 'the Internet' is like calling Windows 'your computer', but they NEVER seem to get it… You'd have thought that, with most of 'em being able to recall a time prior to the WWW's existence, they'd be a little more savvy. My father's been working in tech on-and-off for much of his working life (though never in a 'techy' capacity (he's an accountant by training, and did a lot of work for Sinclair and Prism (the software arm of Sinclair Ltd, for those who don't know, and it's why our loft is an homage to early-mid '80s tech) and I know at least one of the companies he worked for used a BBS (this was back in the days before BBS came to stand for 'Boobs, Beavers and Sex'. Remember all those '0898' premium-rate BBSs that used to be advertised in the classified sections of some computer mags…? I SWEAR I've some old Amiga Actions somewhere with ads for 'PornHub' boards…

"All Your Internet Are Belong To Us"

Re: Is there an Arapaho word for this?

I'm sure Mr. Prattchett must have coined one; and, if he hasn't, he'll probably do so soon (Alzheimer's permitting…)

Re: Great headline! re: prices

Okay, I can sort of see your point, but that doesn't translate to behemoths like Tesco over here (and Wal-Mart in the US).

We got a Tesco Extra here a few years ago (no fucker wanted it, but Tezza bunged Prezza a few squillion and we got it anyway - you may recall a news item regarding a railway bridge collapse in a small town in the Home Counties about 9 years ago - THAT was because the fucktards building the tunnel over the line decides to make the fecking thing SQUARE; now, I'm no civil engineer (I'm neither civil, nor an engineer ;oD) but even *I* know that a 'squared-off' arch is inherently weaker than an arced arch. Obviously the firm doing the engineering - whose name escapes me now - had failed Civil Engineering 101; they built the tunnel, dumped several megatonnes of asphalt on top - and then looked shocked when the whole thing collapsed faster than Berings Bank! It was mere minutes after the 18:05 from Brum to London had shot through - the vibration from the train was probably the straw that broke the concrete camel's back).

So, unless I'm being extremely dense (and the old grey matter ain't functioning at the mo - think I've got 'blancmange brain' again, dammit!) we got Tesco and the family-run supermarket, bakery, and deli effectively went out of business (they've only really been salvaged by a link-up with Sainsbury's). Sharks will always swallow up minnows, because they've got the buying power (and they also rip their producers off; Tesco's just slashed the price of their milk from 35p a pint to 25p (in a 4pt canister) They claim this won't affect how much their farmers are paid - I call BS). In these straitened economic times, NOBODY is going to pay the 'Mum & Dad' store 45p a pint, when they can nip over the road and save 20p. The only times small concerns win out are if it's an obscure item (though Tesco are beginning to cater for the 'Tory-class' palette, stocking as they do quail, woodpigeon, grouse and pheasant, as well as venison, buffalo, boar and ostrich (I shit you not!). They DID backpedal rather rapidly on the foie gras, thankfully) or the big store's shut. Likewise, people will only pay higher high-street prices if they absolutely MUST have whatever it is *NOW*.

Captive audience is another reason. If it'll cost more I'm petrol to go to the big Tesco out of town, which would, obviously, negate any savings made, then small local stores will survive.

And, of course, this is all made all the more true by the fact we've a Tory govt.

Apologies if I've missed the point, but I don't see how charging MORE makes good business acumen especially in the current economic climate. People don't have the money, so they'll find whatever they require at the cheapest price possible, therefore bricks and mortar are going to lose out to the 'net. Our kids will be showing their grandkids nostalgic photos of high-streets. Kids these days don't know the pleasure of popping to the corner shop for a Double-Dip, quarter of penny chews, an Aztec bar (showing my age now, ain't I…?) and the latest Smash Hits - and still having pocket-money left. It was flying saucers for me; where I used to live, we had posh ones - 2-tone saucers with FLAVOURED sherbet. Don't make 'em like THAT anymore. They were probably full of 'prohibited substances', but they never did US any harm… and if you were still young enough to be losing teeth, well a Wham! Bar would get it under yer piller that night, no worries…

Okay, I'll shrrup now, I'm taking this WAY off-topic (again!). Apologies, once again, if it makes feck-all sense…

Re: Quality, not Quantity

"Alumni account"...?! My gods, how many are there of you, man...?! ;oD

I'm assuming only one, in which case, it's 'alumnus' (or if you're female (and I'm 99.9% certain from the way you write, you're not) 'alumna'. Feminine plural..? 'Alumnae').

Ain't Latin a bitch...?!

All together now...

Latin is a language

Dead as dead can be...

I'm trying to quit the nic habit, too, only no-one can tell me how to quit 20+ pieces of Icy White a day. I've managed to cut down from 4mg to 2, but Nicorette don't do a 1mg, so I'm a bit stuck...

Advice, as always, would be appreciated (on the plus side, gum IS quite a bit cheaper than fags - I can get a 105 box for £10 if I search. Tesco used to do it for £8, but you won't catch me shopping in THERE anymore, unless I'm REALLY desperate).

Re: WTF is wrong with the word AL14LAH?

Simple. They're obviously members of the EDL.

Re: Please!!! Won't somebody think of the children?

Fuck "eventuate", what irritates ME more is the continual use of 'it's' when 'its' is what's meant...

Anyway, what's wrong with 'eventuate'...? Why use an easily understood word and miss out on the chance to dazzle - and confound - folk with your vocabulary...?! I rarely miss an opportunity meself - confuzzling folks is FUN!

Re: Well

Surprised no one's punted this out already - mosquitoes don't sting, they bite and, depending where you are in the world, you're probably more likely to have midges, rather than mosquitoes, as the latter tend to favour tropical climes - we don't, to the best of my knowledge, have mosquitoes here in Blighty.

A sting is associated with a creature with venom which, obviously, comes from somewhere other than its mouth; mossies and midges don't have mouths. The reaction is caused by histamines attacking the protein used to prevent coagulation.

Re: Colour me impressed

But NOT the correct possessive of HG Wells's surname, so she's back to zero.

Re: The PS3 was and still is a top-notch product

They work best with salt and vinegar, I find...

Look, I'm stuck in bed feeling shite. You're not gonna get witty erudite and urbane comments from me tonight, chaps...

Re: Some rules do need to be tightened

The only ID the 9/11 'hijackers' required was from the Pentagon. I CANNOT BELIEVE there's someone erudite enough to read El Reg who STILL believes that 9/11 was anything other than an inside job designed to garner support for the illegal Iraqi invasion.

And here was I thinking I was amongst like-minded erudite, urbane and sociopolitically aware entities... Looks like I may have to revise that opinion.

As for ID, I have none; I have a disability which precludes me from holding a driving licence, and I can't afford a new passport (where they think a disabled person who, by accident of misfortune, happens to be stuck in probably one of - if not THE - most expensive area in the entire country - is going to find £200+ I've no fecking idea! My financial situation is somewhat precarious; I stand to lose more than 50% of what they currently permit me because, when they introduce PIP (personal 'independence' payment - which is a total farce as many disability charities and organisations reckon that less than 0.1% of those currently in receipt of DLA will qualify! 'Independence payment', my arse!)).

Even if I COULD afford a new passport, I'm not sure I'd apply for one as, the way this country is rapidly becoming a 21st century version of '30s Germany applying would probably be an extremely invasive experience (full cavity searches I shouldn't wonder!).

Call me paranoid if you will, but we all know this ain't a democracy (it's not even pretending anymore!).

This will only begin to resemble summat like a democracy when we get shot of those parasitic inbreds! A 'democratic monarchist state' is an oxymoron.

Okay, rant over. Hopefully, you're all used to me and my Opinions by now... XXX <3