* Posts by Khaptain

4038 publicly visible posts • joined 4 May 2008

Creepy battery-operated teddy bear sex toy..,sadly, this is for real

Khaptain Silver badge

Maybe not so innocent

So that's why Paddington Bear has a rather smug look.

Mobile SIM chip-makers 'will be fined by EU' for price-fixing, say sources

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Question

If they were found guilty, had to pay the fine and did actually pay it, what would the sum of monies actually be used for ?

Drone-assisted Swiss construct virtual 3D castle

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Re: Preferred the real thing

Try telling that to all the Interwebby pRon users..... Some of them might have been lucky enough to have had a little taste 9 years ago.....since then they are more than happy with just the images (vids).

Own goal as World Cup Wi-Fi passwords spilled in newspaper snap

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Re: Cameras in a secure environment

I suppose that takes "Reverse Engineering" to a whole new level.

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Facepalm

Cameras in a secure environment

First question : Why was a picure allowed to be taken within an environment dealing with security.

Star Wars museum to land in Chicago

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Re: Marin and San Francisco counties both screwed the pooch.

I would have put them on about even.

Apple wins patent to pump ads to your iDevice while you're watching TV

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The contemporary King James Bible

And the Lord God decided to smite the people for their sins with seven terrible punishments..

As they walked down the street they were surrounded by advertising.

As they watched television they are subliminally exposed to advertising.

As they surfed the web they were smitten hard by advertising.

As they supported their favorite sports team they were blasted with advertising.

As they listened to thy radio they were interupted with advertising.

As they sat waiting for the main film to start they were forced to watch 20 minutes of advertising.

And as they defacated they even had to read the advertising on the toilet paper, as it was the lastest place on earth that advertising had reached......

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Moral of the story : A man can't even shit in peace nowadays without someone coming up with an idea for advertising, how much worse can it get.

EXPOSED: Massive mobile malware network used by cops globally

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Black Helicopters

Nokia 3310

Looking better every day.......

Microsoft is still touting Android smartphones – meet the new Nokia X2

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Target Market ?

>It's not planned for a UK launch but then neither was the X

Which market is it coming out it in ? For 100$ I would be happy to buy one.

Snowden defends mega spy blab: 'Public affairs have to be known by the public'

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What has changed since

Now tha the Snowden affair is dimming into the past it would be intersting to know if the NSA/GCHQ/etc have actually changed anything at all about their respective methods or procedures for large data collection, or is it still BAU.

Google Nest slurps your life into the Matrix? The TRUTH

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Re: I think I'm going to move to hidden cave in the mountains and become a hermit...

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!

They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa

To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be

happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're

coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!!!

Napoleon XIV

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Re: So if we want to break into your house...

following on :

Latest Tweet :

John Smith's robot has been remanded in custody for violently tazing Joe Bloggs. Online tweeters tweeted that Mr Bloggs was apparently found in a shocked state with one hand still desperately clutching his smartphone, the last unfinshed tweet simply said "ohh fuc.......".

Who needs a ride-on mower when a ROBOT will cut your grass

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Re: What about rain?

> Also at different times of year I find the grass needs to be cut at different intervals,

You can send it out every day so the grass will never really get any longer that a day or twos worth.

As for the ramps well I am afraid to tell you that you will probably need to fork out £5200, one for each section....ouch.... You will be the poorest man in the neighbourhood but will then be in a position to win a prize for your multi-tiered, automatically cut, perfectly groomed lawns....

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Animals

How do these things behave when confronted with children or animals. Ok, most dogs will simply run away and cats generally don't hang around but let's say for arguements sake that one of my dogs is having one of his sunbathing sessions and is lying(sleeping) legs fully stretched out. Will this thing simply whip of a piece of skin or two as it passes by and leave said doggy in a miserable state or will it stop, back up and complete it's task thouroughly.

Our dogs are not the most intelligent and tend to want to play with dangerous items rather than ran away from them. Since this thing is electric I presume that it doesn't make much nose compared to a pertrol driven version.

Also will they mulch through aforementioned doggies waste products.... Our dogs are small and have the nasty habit of leaving little black treasures on the lawn.

Kudos for being able to use "punctiliousness" in an article.

David Cameron wants mobe network roaming INSIDE the UK

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Nightmare

Why do the operators have physically seperate networks anyway. Why don't they just pool their resources and have one excellent system rather than a multitude of expensive to maintain individual systems.

Microsoft hopes for FONDLESLAB FRENZY as Surface Pro 3 debuts

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It's all in the timing

Third time lucky, i doubt it.

Late to market, definately.

Peak tablet already come and gone.

Potential, small to slightly above small.

Now if this were to come down to the 400 ( Euro, Dollar, Pond) mark then that might be another story....

As it is, for the same price I would prefer the Yoga as does the poster above..

HP Enterprise Services staff feel the burn as managers turn off the cash taps

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Quick Win

The first stage in cost reduction should be the interdiction of expenses at the Directors level.

Most people would be appauled to learn what goes on those "personal expense" forms. No, it's not just the govt ministers that play that game.

BlackBerry bottoms out: Vows to wow with new Berries

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K.I.S.S.

As they as the don't try and compete with the other offering and that they remain focused to business I see no reason that they shouldn't succeed.

Microsoft to let customers know where Office 365 is going

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Re: Office 365...

And with the $20Million they could start by improving that Fugly interface. In my personal opinion, It doesn't matter how often I install it, it still looks/feels like crap.

And yes, before anyone jumps own my throat, asthetics/ergonomics are important in interface design.

The other thing that they have to change is the name "Libre office" will never cut it. For anyone that doesn't know Libre is the French word for "free".... As soon as you add the word Free to anything it instantly sounds cheap....

I would suggest something like Business Office, Professional Office etc something that sounds less cheap or more serious.

And now for some tongue in cheek stuff : They could also try renaming the applications to Ward, Axel, PinPoint and Overlook .......

Just for info : I use Libre Office at home but not at work.

Auditors blast Blighty cops over binned multi-million pound IT project

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"The chief constable that was around at the time this project was approved " probably also lives in a very confortable house and drives a nice Range Rover thanks to the that project. (Whether it went AWOL or not)

Assange™ makes fresh bid for FREEDOM from Scotland Yard's 'physical encirclement'

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Re: Ecuadorian embassy

Didn't a certain Mr Obama swear to remove that facility ? Julian could have released some very interesting leaks about Gitmo.

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Ecuadorian embassy

I wonder if he will leak any of the Ecuadorian Embassy secrets when he eventually gets out.

2 years in an Ecuadorian embassy doesn't sound much like fun either. I wonder if he actually pays for his own keep.

Tor is '90 per cent of the net' claims City of London Police Commish – and he's dead wrong

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Coat

Re: FUD

No, but he definately is uniformed.

Han Solo headed for lengthy stay in bacta tank after Bay Door Control cockup

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Re: NHS or Private?

More likely Pinewood's insurance company as this, I presume, will be classed as a work accident.

Microsoft poised to take Web server crown from Apache

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Bring him back

I can't think of a better article for which Eadon should be given a temporary comeback ...

Indie record labels to haul YouTube before the European Commission

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Re: Beep

Glad to hear that the sanity still exists in other parts of the world. Let's hope we can keep it alive without the suits spoiling everything.

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Re: Khaptin

@Fibbles,

Yes, I expected that remark.

1 : George Lang's offer relates to his love of music, of the artists, nostalgia and history. George shares this with his listeners and nourishes the culture of those that follow. Listening to George it is easy to understand and admire the unerring dedication that he has provided for more that 40 years. It is a pleasure to listen to someone of this caliber.

2 : Google's offering relates to what Google deems necassary in order to keep the adverts flowing. Google use powerfull and well written algorithms to determine content with the eventuality that the end game will help increase market share. Googles experience will always remain a cold, impersonal, mind-numbing marketing experience, it is subliminal but very powerfull.

It is impossible to put them on par, the playing fields and the players belong to two very different games.

I fear that future generations will lose the capacity of knowing or being introduced to anything that is not pregenerated by a marketing algorithm. And for the moment, I see nothing that appears to hinder the impetus of the Google monster.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Old school here

2 Hours of Johnny Hallyday would drive even Simon Cowell insane....lol.

Here is a link to the RTL web page for George Lang.

http://www.rtl.fr/biographie/georges-lang

The best shows are the "Les Nocturnes" and the "Sagas". Anything from Pink Floyd to London Grammar

Obviously it helps to speak French, je presume que c'est le cas.

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Re: Old school here

>Radio is ok if you don't mind being force-fed the latest playlist of heavily-promoted Simon Cowell rubbish, or the so-called 'classic' tracks from bands long gone.

That all depends on the stations that you have access to. Here in France for example, there is a very well known radio presenter, Georges Lang, who is kinda the equivalant of a John Peel in that you will hear some classics mixed in with some newcomers and you will always learn something new. You can learn a lot....

The words "Simon Cowell" and "music" are diametrically opposed and should never be associated.

>If you're interested in anything else, radio is worse than useless.

Please share what it is that you are interested in that receives no radio time and yet is freely discoverable on Youtube ?

Also please provide details of your method of "discovery" by using youtube. Give an idea of the keywords/search words that you use that are capable of returning meaningfull results, other than pure hit and miss tactics whereby it is Google that decides what will be force-fed to you.

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Old school here

I still use the old fangled method called the "radio", I don't get as much choice but at least it doesn't shovel publicity down my throat after every click or turn of a button. Youtube also has the tedious habit of making you discover what they decide you need to discover......

Alienware says it WILL ship a Steam Machine in 2014 – running Windows

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Serious Faux pas

If it runs MS Excel or Word natively then it definately should not be called a Steam Machine.

How would this really differ from my W7 + Steam Client machine, let me guess the version number.

Flying cars, submarine cars – Elon Musk says NOTHING is beyond him

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Re: Challenge

@Irony Deficient

Which option(s) do you consider as being non feasible ?

And, are they any less feasible than flying cars or underwater cars ?

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Re: Challenge

>How would you propose building a car in the UK to your challenge’s specifications and being able to sell it profitably there for no more than £6,689?

Now you see just how interesting the challenge really is.

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Challenge

I challenge Elon to make a vehicle as follows

Road legal.

Carries 5 people (average person = 85kgs) i.e. five grown men comfortably..

Must be able to store at least three large sized suitcases in the boot/trunk.

Autonomy of 1000 Kms.

Costs about the equivalent of 3 months’ salary (based upon average nationwide salaries - excluding those within the higher end pay bracket: i.e. anyone that earns over 300 000 $ per year) - applicable throughout the world - price varies according to country because of exchange rates.

Cars must be built locally (nationally) and where possible using home country materials.

Should have good fuel consumption - 3 litres per 100 Kms mixed conditions - Engine should be replaceable by alternative fuel system - today petrol, tomorrow Diesel, after tomorrow Hydrogen etc.

Capable of doing 180Km/h safely.

Must have at least 200 000Kmh or 7 year guarantee for all parts except the usual consumables.

Most if not all parts ( anything that weighs less than 20 kgs) should be user replaceable without the need for special tools. Could create a huge market for customisation.

Must look more aesthetic than a Traban but possibly less than a DB9 in black..

Nothing fancy here, nothing over board but definitely a challenge.

Get ready for Europe's robo-butlers: Billions of €€€s pledged to electro-slave dream

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Re: Agricultural robots?

Here is a link to an American farm that is almost exactly the same as the farm that I visited.

You can skip the first few minutes, at the 6 minute mark it becomes more interesting, at the 8 minute mark you can start to see the machines in action. They don't show the whole farm and all the processes but they do show the some of the interesting parts and also the quantity of information that becomes avaialble to the the farmer.

There are probably better videos available but this was the first one that I found. This video dates back to 2010, the farm I visited was only last year and the technology was even better, the lasers/robots for teat recognition /placement worked much quicker.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7I001wxuXE

If you get the chance try and visit one, from an IT/Electronics standpoint they are very interesting. Do not wear your favourite Armani, Hugo Boss suit though.

Edit : I just came across a better video although I don't remember the farmer explaning to me about the usage "pellets" to entice the cows.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YL13Mi4qOsw

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Re: Smart house or Robobutler

In the future there will be no need for "tangible" foods. All that will be required is a tiny pill that contains exactlly the ingrediants required which permit your body to function at is most efficient level.. This in turn will allow your body to by used as food for the "Gene Pool", literally a pool of genes, that your Android

hosts require in order to have intelligence faculties.

You will in fact have become the slave to the robot.

And that's looking at things from a postive standpoint.

Khaptain Silver badge

Re: Agricultural robots?

>Robots that can attach a cow to a milking machine without frightening her so badly she gives yogurt.

I recently visited a modern farming facility where the entire milk produciton facility is ran automatically/ robotically.

Every cow has an RFID tag which activates the various automates/robots as the approach. They can get food and water as they require, they have brushes for scratching their backs, no joke and when they feel like giving milk they amble of towards the milking machine The milking machine reads the tag, decides if they cow has given enough or not for the day and they lets here enter the milking parlour.

A laser scans the position of the udders and then directs each suction cup precisely under each teat, it even allows for a certain degree of movement. When the machine detects that there is not milk left the cow is liberated and continues her day. The cows really did not seem in the least worried or disturbed and no farmer with a big stick was required to make them enter the miliking machine..

Because of the RFID tag, the exact cow's milk can be analysed and where necassary included or excluded into/from the global production. The analysis even detects various illness within the cattle's milk and thereby warn the farmer by SMS . Subsequently excluding the animals milk from further inclusion in the production.

The animals appeared to be very calm, healthy and apparenty milk production was 20% above the production of the animals that were outside. And yes the robots/automates even manage to clean up the cowshit.

It was a very interesting visit, the farmer was more than happy to give me a guided tour. The downside for him though was the investment, it was massive, he explained to me that he personally would not be able to pay of the debt during his lifetime, that would remain for his ascendants.

The only negative side that I saw was the fact that the cows spent their entire time inside even though they didn't look like unhappy or mistreated animals ! I live in the countryside and am used to seeing the typical lot of cows that live outside, these ones seemed no different, at least to my untrained eye.

That strikes one of the items of Dogged's list, as for the rest though, well there is still a lot of work to be done.

Khaptain Silver badge

I want a robot......

I want a robot that goes to work on my behalf - this will keep me happy.

I want a robot that will lay crazy paving around my garage - this will keep the wife happy..

I want a robot that will build me a 16m yacht for less than 10K - this will annoy the neighbour..

I want a robot that will be bigger than my neighbours robot - this will annoy the neighbour even more.

I want a robot that can defend my home from other people's robots - oops it all went too far.

I want a robot that has a remote controlled self destruct button - just in case my robot becomes a little too friendly with the neighbours robot.

OK, execs. You want Apple kit. And Windows Phone, too? Really?

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@Arnaut @Doug

No, I am not advocating that people throw their hands up. I am advocating that users need proper training, they need to understand that sensitive information must be handled "very carefully" and that relying on technology is potential faux pas.

Personally when I read these kinds of articles I feel that too many people have come to rely on technology rather than relying on common sense.

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Not only android

Putting your faith in the manufacturer/developer/operator or local Govt Security Agency that is behind any/all of the current common platforms is at the very least naive.

At the end of every telephone/smartphone there is something much less secure than the platform, it is called the user.

Last weeks hack on TruCrypt has really shown how much even the trusted platforms are fragile.

Google to plonk tentacles on 'unwired' world with $1bn launch of 180-satellite fleet

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Re: World Domination

They will have to be mind controlling satellites in order to encourage the poor to spend, what little they have, on the advertised products that Google will present to them.

And if they don't spend, well the death-ray will come in handy.

Seedy hacker steals 1300 Monsanto client and staff records

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Obvious

Couldn't think of a "nicer" company for this kind of bad press to be inflicted upon..

Reap what you sow.....

Watch: Kids slam Apple as 'BORING, the whole thing is BORING'

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Re: Who taught these children ??

@Billa Bong

As much as I understand what you are getting at, I would argue that if such were the case then even the mere "pencil" should have been forgotten about long ago. As much as our keyboards replace the pencil I still take the time to write in a real book with real paper.

What I think my comments were trying to highlight was the apparent lack of fascination or adventure of these childern. The fact that they have been given old computers should not really have any bearing.. Would they also be "bored" with classic cars, classical instruments or even "books".....

I believe that fascination, exploration and discovery of things old or new is something that is, and probably always should be, very high on the ladder of a child's evolution. Hell, it still is very high on mine....

Or maybe I am just growing old and don't realise how the the world has changed since my youth...

Khaptain Silver badge
Devil

Who taught these children ??

I think a behavourial science student would have a field day with these children. Modesty was obviously not a prime candidate thoughout their upbringing and what's with the Soap Opera theatrics.

Contemporary society : I want everything, I want it now , it has to be easy, it has to be free.....and most importantly I don't want to have to be made to think....

I am still thrilled by older technology, it is always a reminder of man's ever evolving ingenuity. Unfortunately these kids appear to take very little pleasure in being given something new to learn. I always imagine how quickly people like this will become stuck/frustrated as soon as they are confronted with the slightest problem...

Additionaly the test/experiment appears to have been badly misguided..... The presenter didn't really help, he presented things in a manner which was not conducive with the desire to explore or to learn. It was almost as though he wanted them to get stuck/confused.

Pirate Party runs aground in European Parliamentary elections

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Exactly the same scenario for Marine Le Penn, the French far right winger.

The extreme right wingers do not have to worry about being PC or about using the usual humdrum media tactics, as a consequence they are now gaining large percentages of the available votes, why : they speak and make themselves understood to people , which many of todays politicians have forgotten . The extreme right wingers have also tamed down a bit in recent years and some of them, like Marine Le Penn, actually have some reasonable ideas, please note the word "some" and not "all".

When the mainstream politicians have nothing left to offer is anyone really surprised to see the pendulum swinging futher and further out.

Contemporary politicians don't really belong to the moderate right or moderate left sympathies, they simply belong to "he who pays". I would safely presume that most politicians would be happy to change to opposing parties/cabinets/idealogies for the no other reason that being able to remain with a cushy job for which you can't get punished for doing wrong.

The current political methods have had their day, it's time to move on and start afresh. ( Although usually that means war).

Open wide, 'Friends': Facebook wants to give you a 'Privacy checkup'

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Re: Word of the wise

"many of us had friends* long before FaceBook was around, so it's a bit late to choose them.

The kinds of people that would eventually progress to using FB were never the kinds of Friends I wanted to have..

Khaptain Silver badge

Word of the wise

>And you probably won't win anyway because other people will feed data in on your behalf.

Choose your friends carefully.

Microsoft walks into a bar. China screams: 'Eww is that Windows 8? GET OUT OF HERE'

Khaptain Silver badge

I think that it means that XP and 7 will become even more pirated not W8.

Google: Mmm. Tab-free Gmail desktop client? We won't DENY it

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Headmaster

Re: kids of my lawn

@Dan 55

You have to help me out here. Are you saying that the correct syntax should be example a :

a : Don't forget to include the merits of the "full stop" or "period."

b : Don't forget to include the merits of the "full stop" or "period".

Version a : I believe that that is the American form.

Version b : I believe that that is the British form.

Being of British rather than American descent I automatically use the "correct" syntax :-)