* Posts by Haku

1902 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Apr 2007

Apple throws a wobbly over Steve Jobs dolly

Haku
Jobs Horns

Voodoo

Can you stick pins in it?

Acer replaces laptop keyboard with multi-touch LCD

Haku

Fingerprint magnet

Hold on, I got a smudge

weaxdftrdxdftrersewssersxdxdrsxe

That's better.

John Lewis pitches 80-quid colour e-book reader

Haku

Colour...for the pictures!

Ideally colour screen ebook readers are best suited towards comics, sorry, graphic novels ;)

Clive Sinclair unveils 'X-1' battery pedalo bubble-bike

Haku

No thanks

I'll keep my traditional design electric bike thanks, with that I can get on to cycle paths through those narrow entrances/exits designed to slow bicyclists down so they don't run straight into the road, this offering from Clive would never be able to get onto cycle paths, which incedentally are inherintly safer for cyclists than sharing roadspace with heavy vehicles that have blind spots and drivers that see cyclists as nothing more than annoyance in their way and on 'their' road.

National Rail tweaks departure board API, 'orders' coder to kill site

Haku
FAIL

Dumbasses

Surely if the train company actually wanted more people to use their service they'd give out the timetable information for free?

Making people jump through hoops to get information is a deterrant to using the service the information is in regards to.

Now, where's the Captain Obvious icon gone...

Kia POPs out see-through OLED dash readout

Haku

Just one small question:

Where the hell are you going to store a 15 inch diameter philips screwdriver to take the wheels off?

Haku

1.21 GIGGAWATTS!!!

On a related note, has everyone else booked their tickets for the return of Back To The Future in cinemas in October?

Anti-piracy lawyers' email database leaked after hack

Haku

Strange way to run a business

In a BBC article Mr Crossley said to them "The business has and remains intact and is continuing to trade"

It strikes me that a company that deals with alleged internet copyright infringement should have a working website...

The articlealso says the ICO can't put them out of business (boo!) but may fine them £500,000 which is a real reputation damager. I think the leaked emailes provided the coffin and the fine may just be enough for the nails in the lid.

Vacuum-wielding thieves siphon €500,000 from store safes

Haku
Happy

Finally...

...something for Henry to truly smile about.

Steve Jobs carried 'ninja throwing stars' in hand luggage

Haku

Awww, don't worry, Steve,

you can always make some origami ones...

http://www.wikihow.com/Fold-an-Origami-Star-(Shuriken)

Google pulls trigger on 'Instant' search engine

Haku

But

how do you permanently turn it off on every PC you happen to use?

Just because something has been advanced beyond it's original design doesn't mean it's better than the original design.

More bloody eye-candy on the web :/

Haku
FAIL

Oooo shiny new interface!

That's neat.

Just one question:

How do you turn the damn thing off?

Blighty suffers 'real shortage of serviceable conkers'

Haku

Big scary spiders!

It amazes me just how scared people can be of spiders, even big grown men who could adequately defend themselves in a bar brawl.

Which is why I like to dig up at every opportunity this pic I snapped of one that once walked across my keyboard:

http://www.haku.co.uk/pics/KeyboardSpider.jpg

:D

RFID chips snooped from 66 metres

Haku

...or you could use it to find your golf balls

like this company - www.radargolf.com

Admittedly I don't think the device is reading the data from the RFID tag at long distances but rather there's a tag which is responding to the scan and how strong a signal is being 'bounced' back.

Police chief: Yes, my plods sometimes forget photo laws

Haku

Performance related pay?

The idea popped into my head thinking it might solve some of the problems of police officers doing bad things, ie when they screw up their pay packet gets docked, but just realised it would actively encourage them to hide any and all screwups so their pay packet remains nice 'n fat.

It's almost like we need a police force to police the police force we're stuck with because it's quite horrible & depressing how our civil liberties are constantly being eroded away by the people who should be protecting us not opressing us..

The Wrath of Jobs' latest victim: Motorola

Haku

Apple screwed up

that's all there is to this, no matter how much someone protests against this fact.

ANYONE, and I mean ANYONE who has ever used a radio with an external antenna of which you can physically touch the metal knows that touching the antenna alters the reception (or transmission in the case of radio controlled toys etc.), to the point where sometimes it can render the reception or transmission useless, or very occasionally improve it.

The only time I know of that virtually always goes the opposite way is with those RF car lock/unlock keyfobs and garage door opener keyfobs, if you go out just out of range so the keyfob doesn't work, holding the keyfob to your chin helps amplify the signal so it works at longer distances...!

Phonemakers cry foul on Steve Jobs 'We're all alike' attack

Haku

How to fake a signal loss video

It should be relatively easy to fake a signal loss video without the need to doctor the video with CGI, all you need to do is have your other hand (or someone else) out of shot turn up the strength dial on a cellphone jammer at the appropriate time....

Microsoft Xbox 360 250GB

Haku

Noise

Yeah whenever I have a go on my brother's 360 I do notice just how noisy the thing can get, a shame MS haven't done a special edition water cooled xbox, but that doesn't stop you voiding your warranty and installing a kit yourself.

Google: 'We did not follow Apple into phone market'

Haku

Jobs thinks the world belongs to him

Sad really that he can't comprehend that not everybody wants to own/use Apple products for their music/computing/communication.

Phorm's losses top $100m

Haku
Happy

The graph that makes you feel warm inside

http://tinyurl.com/phormstocks

Nokia demos finger flicking exercise for iPhone 4 users

Haku

The Dudesons

The Finns definitely have a sense of humour, go onto YouTube and search for: The Dudesons

Jobs tells iPhone users to get a grip

Haku

Old doctor doctor joke

Patient: "Doctor doctor, it hurts when I do this."

Doctor: "Don't do that then."

Is Steve trying to become a standup comedian? because his replies regarding Apple products people are unhappy with are already jokes.

Firefoxers howl as privacy add-on auto updates with 'bloatware'

Haku
Thumb Up

Ooo

A plugin that muddies the cookie data collection database of websites you don't want tracking you?

Sign me up! (when it's ready that is)

Wannabe Jedi drool over potent laser 'lightsabre'

Haku
Alert

sharks

Forget lightsabers, need to get some sharks for those fricken lasers!

Robobeachcop demands licence from Poole snapper

Haku

Spy video sunglasses

It's amazing what you can cram into the frames of sunglasses nowadays... http://www.immortal.co.uk/

Or if you prefer to make your own: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1028544/how_to_spy_sunglasses/

Stephen Fry's truly terrible mistake

Haku

He's a smooth talking bar steward don't you know.

You forgot about his classic Heineken adverts:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVqghPdRqpc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgwFVjbNnik

Prisoner of iTunes - the iPad file transfer horror

Haku

Cost != Value

Yeah cos everyone knows that the more you spend on something the more you can do with it....

Haku

Tokyo Drift

This whole "iPad is better than a netbook" situation reminds me of the beginning of Tokyo Drift where the rich kid with the shiny high performance 'off-the-shelf' car starts reeling off the specs of the engine etc. and the kid with the home-built muscle car replies:

"Wow, you can read the brochure.", then beats him in a race with his home-built car.

Too many fanbois reading brochures out there...

Didn't Apple have the slogan "Think different."? whatever happened to that?

Snails on crystal meth: The facts

Haku

Hypnotoad

The way those scientists are going it's only a matter of time (months? years?) before they accidentally create a hypnotoad. Then we're all doomed.

Site news: Track this forum

Haku

Any Chance (5)

Any chance you could re-stock the biscuit tin?

Preferably with jaffa cakes please.

'Steve Jobs' switches to Android

Haku

Copycats

People seem to lose sight of the fact that copying Apple is simply a means to an end, the "end" simply being making shitloads of money.

Wobbly drive array problems? This'll stiffen your rack

Haku

Wait, what?

So mounting drives to heavy immovable structures increases their read-write speeds, so what about all those drive mounting kits that reduce noise vibration through rubber mounts, are those useless?

The 3 drives in one of my PCs are mounted with Zalman heatpipe coolers, they work well at reducing the drive's heat but do the rubber mounts make the read-write speeds worse? is it bad for the drive?

'Lost' iPhone 4G brouhaha: Jobs gets on the job

Haku
Flame

Upcoming movie

Can we start a rumour that Jerry Bruckheimer has gotten hold of the movie rights to this little escapade? Because all the story is missing is some massive explosions...

Flame icon, to represent an explosion.

Apple promises fanbois iPad WiFi fix

Haku

Screen brightness

I have to think WTF on the screen brightness too, unless the PWM used for controlling the LED brightness is somehow intefering with the wifi circuitry, but surely not, this is an Apple product, they never go bad...

F*ck you, thunders disgruntled fanboi Apple user

Haku

"well, I can't jump because..."

...I don't have an app for that.

Mili HI-P60 Power Pico Projector

Haku

Yeah yeah yeah

Enough with the LED based projectors, when are you going to review this (simply stunning) laser based projector that was finally released this year?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UfarRM0BoM

Adobe CTO paints Steve Jobs as Big Brother

Haku
Flame

Damn straight

They both get on my tits, Apple for being so closed and "you can only use the software we authorise" which severely limits innovation, and don't get me started on Quicktime for Windows - piece of shit kludgy software with non-standard Windows interface, it's like they're trying to bring a piece of Apple to PCs, and it's rotten.

As for Adobe, Flash just sits there doing feck-all on webpages chewing up CPU like there's no tomorrow, embedded video from sites such as YouTube & Vimeo etc. are the number one cause of my browser going sluggish, I say roll-on the embedded video solutions that don't use Flash.

And as for their PDF reader - slow, awful piece of shit, had to install FoxIt on my mother's PC because she got sent an A3 PDF and Adobe's pathetic offering wouldn't scale it down to A4 when printing.

DVLA off-road system seriously off-message

Haku

Translation

Basically, to drive on the public roads you need road tax, when this runs out you need to either pay more tax or SORN it, SORN = Statutory Off Road Notification, Off Road = privately owned land.

Hackers crack Ubisoft always-online DRM controls

Haku

DIVX lives again?

No not DivX, DIVX - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DIVX_%28Digital_Video_Express%29

How long till you 'buy' BluRay discs that only work when the player is online and you've paid your subscription...

JooJoo tablet offered to Brits

Haku

Baby speak

Has anyone else noticed the slowly growing trend of gadgets that have names which are almost synonymous with baby speak?

iPod

iPad

Wii

Joo Joo, etc.

Personally I'm waiting for the Pthbpthbpthb, marketed as the :P

Jobsian drones shackle gamer with 'lifetime' iPad ban

Haku

Get some Anadin Extra instead

Seriously, I saw one of their shop display stands, it said:

"NO TABLET WORKS FASTER"

Ok ok, I'll get me coat (the one with an Eee in the inside pocket).

Haku

Google advertising opportunity solgan

"We don't have petty daily or lifetime limits on Android phones."

Fat cat fanbois' obscene dream bling

Haku

Retro fone battery

I would hope that retro mobile uses all the available space by putting a MASSIVE battery in, my crummy little Motorola gets a week standby time and 3 hours talk on a (only holds half capacity now) 920mAH battery, just imagine using 4x 3000mAh cells to have standby times of 8 months and talk times of 4 days!

"Hahaha! Your phone is massive!" - "Yeah but I only need to charge it twice a year..."

Government wastes millions on redundant cycle route planner

Haku
Flame

Non-cyclists

"When non-cyclists start producing routes for cyclists they show they haven't a bloody clue about getting about in a bike."

Too bloody right, it's this same group of idiots who 'design' most of the structures for us to lock our bikes to when in town/supermarkets - they haven't got a fricking clue about making it easier for us to lock our bikes to them because they don't even own a bike, the ones in my local town were designed to be asthetically pleasing rather than functional (a lamppost is easier to lock my bike to!).

Normal Human Being™ reviews the iPad

Haku

liquid rubber solution

There's a rather neat product out there called Plastidip, it's like liquid rubber, you can spray or paint it onto almost any object (or dip the object if you have a large enough tin) to create a rubber-like surface (more than one coat helps), great for helping to protect/waterproof things and ideal for adding extra grip to tools/gadgets etc.

And if you find you don't like the end result you can simply peel it off.

Cartoon Law goes live

Haku

Lisa giving head

Does this mean they'll have to scrap the 2012 olympics logo?

I hope so, it's fricken terrible.

Frisco fanboi frenzy on 'iPad Day'

Haku
Coat

Totally!

It's exactly these kind of people who would applause the opening of an envelope.

Oh, wait...

BBC, big business leer creepily at orphan works

Haku

Have you seen this site?

http://www.tineye.com

Legal high fire sale starts now

Haku
Coat

Obligatory Bill Hicks quote:

"There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it."

(mine's the one with the secret stash pocket)

Blunkett: 'The dog howls when I whip out my ID card!'

Haku
FAIL

ID farce

This whole ID thing is bloody stuipd and a pain in the arse, recently wanted a 2nd person to have access to my bank account so they went off with the forms I signed to give them access but the bank wouldn't without ID from the 2nd person.

Nothing wrong with that you may think and you'd be right, except for what ID they would accept:

Driving licence; it had the address on but no photo, so that wasn't accepted.

Passport; it had a photo but no address, that was accepted.

*facepalm*