* Posts by cookieMonster

644 publicly visible posts • joined 24 Apr 2008

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Novelty flip phone strips out almost every feature possible to be as boring as possible

cookieMonster Silver badge
Pint

Anyone’s warm piss is better than Carling

Tired techie 'fixed' a server, blamed Microsoft, and got away with it

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Trollface

OMG!!! Now you’ve gone and done it!!!

Pottering will add a registry for systemd in the next release, only accessible via powershell for Linux

Fancy building a replacement for Post Office's disastrous Horizon system?

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Trollface

Re: EPOS - not Tesco

So on the backend, is it an excel lookup on a shared worksheet, an MS access 93 db or SQLServer??

cookieMonster Silver badge

Re: EPOS - not Tesco

Re: “Heaven knows where they got the design team from.”… couldn’t possibly say, but I’m 100% certain that they were CHEAP!!

cookieMonster Silver badge

Re: Won't Somebody think of the Stakeholders?

While agree totally, I doubt ANY cheese is going to jail. Promoted, possibly… but no jail time for the privileged.

McDonald's ordering system suffers McFlurry of tech troubles

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Pint

Re: Maccas closed?

Oooooh, now that’s a burn.

Upvote and a pint for you!!!

Exchange Online blocked from sending email to AOL and Yahoo

cookieMonster Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Alternatively, perhaps just pick up the phone and have a chat

Upvote. And I’m with you on that one. I’ve an old US Robotics in a box in a corner, somewhere.

For the youngsters here, that’s a dial-modem, the thing that lets you hear the screams on the internet

Ten nations tell social media, banks, and telcos to get better at stopping scams

cookieMonster Silver badge
Joke

Re: Moneysavingexpert vs FaceBook

Yeah, but £100,000 is just a sushi lunch for Mark, no big deal

cookieMonster Silver badge
Pint

Upvoted and have a pint (or two)

cookieMonster Silver badge
Joke

Unfortunately stupid is not yet illegal, in fact it seems to be actively encouraged

US House goes bang, bang on TikTok sale-or-ban plan

cookieMonster Silver badge

Re: Protecting Americans from Foreign Adversary Controlled Applications Act

AI??

Microsoft Copilot for Security prepares for April liftoff

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WTF?

Its arrival on April Fool's Day is purely coincidental.

No. It’s. Not

Dirty data shocks Indian taxpayers with huge bills

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Joke

Re: Incomplete/confusing spec

Maybe they were too busy working on the horizon project ?

Telegram eyes IPO as user numbers close in on 1 billion

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Joke

Re: It's all downhill once the bankers turn up

I seem to recall someone here defining the term as a wunch of bankers.

Linux for older phones postmarketOS changes its init system

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Joke

Re: proof

That’s not how to spell that word

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Facepalm

Ah fuck

That is all

Job interview descended into sweary shouting match, candidate got the gig anyway

cookieMonster Silver badge

Re: I may have told this one before...

Zero ?

Boeing paper trail goes cold over door plug blowout

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The “wonder why there's no bolts” engineer was out sick that day

cookieMonster Silver badge

Re: "Paper Trail ..."... "..paperwork..."

Work documents, not contributions / envelopes

Belgian ale legend Duvel's brewery borked as ransomware halts production

cookieMonster Silver badge
Pint

Been there, done exactly that… I think, I’m not sure if I remember correctly….

Pint icon, cause yeah…

Russia plans to put a nuclear reactor on the Moon – with China's help

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Mushroom

Re: A sample of what now?

Kazakhstan ??

YouTube workers laid off mid-plea at city hall meeting

cookieMonster Silver badge
Stop

Remember this

The next time you use a google product. Try to find and use an alternative, not always easy I know, but there are alternatives out there.

World-plus-dog booted out of Facebook, Instagram, Threads

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Facepalm

Re: Past their peak

Yeah, that one made laugh.

Flying car biz Alef claims 3K preorders, still hasn't done a proper demo

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Trollface

Re: Ah yes flying cars

Oh they’ll be popular ok and available to everyone, right after we have that fusion thing going and producing limitless amounts of cheap energy

cookieMonster Silver badge
FAIL

These things will never be allowed

There is zero chance that these will ever be allowed to operate in Europe for the general population, at least for the next 50 years, the muppet’s on the road right now have trouble using their indicators, obeying road signs, parking properly. There’s NO WAY these are going to be available to anyone, unless they require a pilot’s licence AND are treated as aircraft, including restricted use to airports, which kinda kills the purpose.

Brit chip industry wonders if UK budget will put its money where its silicon is

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FAIL

Re: Situation Normal

The UK does not have ANY significant industrial capacity any more. It’s gone. Thatcher started dismantling it, Blaire continued it. It’s over. The UK is now a “services” power house (giggle, snort)

Apologies, but what’s left? Even the strategic nuclear power plants are foreign…

Watchdog calls for more plugs, less monopoly in EV charging network

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Alert

Re: It is still not as simple as pulling up in a forecourt and filling up a tank

Mobile app requirements should be banned, simple credit/charge card, mobile wallet is all that’s needed

Grab shrank its superapp by a quarter in order to survive

cookieMonster Silver badge

Re: Now do Windows

Or PC

AI to fix UK Civil Service's bureaucratic bungling, deputy PM bets

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Pint

Re: AI to fix UK Civil Service's bureaucratic, bungling deputy PM bets

Thumbs up for the analysis, pint for the use of gobshite (a vastly underused word these days) and welcome to the rare club of Anonymous Cowards that I respond to. Have a great weekend.

It's that most wonderful time of the year when tech cannot handle the date

cookieMonster Silver badge
Flame

Re: Oh, come on - this is elementary

My thoughts exactly. I learned how to deal with this nearly 40 years ago. HOW is this still a problem in 2024, FFS!!

It's crazy but it's true: Apple rejected Bing for wrong answers about Annie Lennox

cookieMonster Silver badge

Re: If Google loses, it does not win

A lot of apple users complained when they dropped:

3.5 floppy disk

CD/CVD

Ethernet plugs

PowerPC support

Etc

Etc

The list is long. Apple have no problem with dropping stuff they decide no longer fits their needs, customers included.

40k servers, 400k CPUs and 40 PB of storage later... welcome to Google Cloud

cookieMonster Silver badge
Trollface

Just

waiting for “….our operational performance, stability, and security are better than ever…” to come back and take a great big bite out of his ass.

The Cloud, it just works, until it doesn’t.

Dumping us into ad tier of Prime Video when we paid for ad-free is 'unfair' – lawsuit

cookieMonster Silver badge
WTF?

Looks like home

downloading, ripping and sharing are going to be back in fashion soon

Microsoft embraces its inner penguin as sudo sneaks into Windows 11

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Thumb Up

Re: Good... I guess...

Probably because you weren’t born last week

cookieMonster Silver badge

Re: Shirley...

sudo runas sodudu

In its tantrum with Europe, Apple broke web apps in iOS 17 beta, still hasn't fixed them

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Facepalm

Re: I love Apple...

Oh god, don’t mention O’Leary

Raspberry Pi Pico cracks BitLocker in under a minute

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Trollface

Re: Hurt Locker

Wait till you see “User Locker”

CERN seeks €20B to build a bigger, faster, particle accelerator

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Joke

Re: Best name?

RoundyMcRoundy Face

Aircraft rivet hole issues cause delays to Boeing 737 Max deliveries

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Alert

“passengers have limited say in which aircraft they fly with”….. to a point

There’s a site that tells people what aircraft they are going to be flying… people are starting to use it..

I’m flying to Rome later this year with my family, I chose an airline flying an airbus rather than one that uses 737s. It’s a bit of extra travel time, may not impact the airline, but I made the decision, I’m sure I’m not the only one doing this.

iFixit tears Apple's Vision Pro to pieces

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Alert

Re: Are those three lithium cells in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

Regarding “adult services ”… I read there’s a porn blocker active on the units

Whether to move off Oracle is the $100M+ question for Europe's largest public body

cookieMonster Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Are there other choices?

Excel??

Still no love for JPEG XL: Browser maker love-in snubs next-gen image format

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Pint

Re: Write a javascript conversion library

Upvoted and a pint.

Spot on.

OpenAI reassures: GPT-4 gives 'a mild uplift' to creators of biochemical weapons

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Mushroom

What they said

To the public: “ We found mild uplifts in accuracy and completeness…..”

At the internal meeting: “Oh Fuuuuuuucccck”

JetBrains' unremovable AI assistant meets irresistible outcry

cookieMonster Silver badge
Joke

You spelt “Exploder” wrong

OpenAI's GPT-4 finally meets its match: Scots Gaelic smashes safety guardrails

cookieMonster Silver badge

Re: Back in the day

The gene pool protecting itself, it’s a good thing.

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Thumb Up

Re: But ... I thought computers didn't do Scottish

They don’t

Add bacteria to the list of things that can run Doom

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Thumb Up

FFS

Wow, just wow.

What an amazing, wild and weird thing to do.

Just give her a Nobel for even having the imagination to come up with the idea!!!

Bravo

Snow day in corporate world thanks to another frustrating Microsoft Teams outage

cookieMonster Silver badge
Trollface

Ha

“….including one that occurred almost exactly a year ago yesterday”

Oops, I thought I deleted that cron job last time.

Mars Helicopter Ingenuity will fly no more, but is still standing upright

cookieMonster Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Impressive... very very impressive!

The next 120 years??

Wheels that stay attached?

Doors that remains closed?

Who knows, but we can dream!!

JAXA releases photo of SLIM lander in lunar faceplant

cookieMonster Silver badge
Joke

it seems to lost one of it's…

Not the first time I’ve heard that this week !!

But a soft landing, No crater and two bots on the surface, well done!!

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