* Posts by Moss Icely Spaceport

447 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Apr 2008

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India plots 1.2bn user biometric ID cards project

Moss Icely Spaceport
Badgers

But I don't have a pocket!

There must be literally 100's of thousands, if not millions of people in India who have so little, they don't even wear basic clothes!

Where will they put their ID cards?

Stop, don't bother, I've worked it out.

Mysterious organic blobs found in Alaskan waters

Moss Icely Spaceport
Thumb Up

Space Blob!

I reckon it's making it's way to Japan to star in a new disaster movie!

Blobzilla Vs Mothra!

Visa dings teen for $23-quadrillion restaurant charge

Moss Icely Spaceport
Thumb Up

yeah but...

...what about the tip he gave the waiter!

MPs shown 'email evidence' of wider NotW snooping

Moss Icely Spaceport
Megaphone

An old Aussie raz to Murdoch and his ilk

" Suffer in ya jocks! "

Google Moon to go 3D

Moss Icely Spaceport
Alien

I demand....

...a full 3d virtual moon-walk experience on the internet.

And I want it for free.

UK tabloid in phone hacking probe

Moss Icely Spaceport
Pirate

Bring back the Tyburn Jig

Good.

The Murdoch family have a long history of meddling in scuttlebutt, scandal and rumour.

Glasgow unbans Life of Brian

Moss Icely Spaceport
Megaphone

Are there any men here?

No, no, no......NO, NO, NO...

Moss Icely Spaceport
Megaphone

I meant: Are there any woman here?

Etc....

(doh)

NASA reacquires original Moon landing footage

Moss Icely Spaceport
Stop

100% factual

Dear Nasty Ignorant Trolls,

If the Americans (and the rest of the free world) faked the moon landing, why then did the Russians just give up? They were locked in a life or death, nationalistic FIGHT with the Americans.

If the Russians even suspected fakery, they would have landed a craft and called "Liar, liar, spacesuit on fire" (Лжец, лжец, spacesuit от пожара)

I remember the landing day well.

Rapidshare stung with €24m fine

Moss Icely Spaceport
Big Brother

Whack-a-mole

Here we go again!

Phorm incinerates $50m in 12 months

Moss Icely Spaceport
Flame

Phormaldehyde

I'm happy to chip in 5p towards funeral expenses!

I take it it'll be a cremation?

Royal Navy sailors hurl Ronald McDonald into Chilean harbour

Moss Icely Spaceport
Pirate

Was it a seated figure of Mr McDonald?

Or a stand up one?

We need to know!

PS: I'd a keel-hauled it....

Catholic social club ousts coven of witches

Moss Icely Spaceport
Stop

My sky fairy is better than your sky fairy

et al.....

(yawn)

Imagine! Government to legislate against badness

Moss Icely Spaceport
Thumb Up

Workhouses 2.0

1) 5000 paupers to a dorm.

2) One 50" plasma

3) One shared sky subscription

4) Work

5) Profit

6) ???

Venezuela spits out Coke Zero

Moss Icely Spaceport
Alert

Jesus bans Coke Zero!!

Health Minister Jesus Mantilla declared: "The product should be withdrawn from circulation to preserve the health of Venezuelans."

God is apparently more of a Fanta man himself....

News at 10.

Twitter Trends exploited to promote scareware

Moss Icely Spaceport
Thumb Up

Well, they came to the right place

There will be plenty of twits (twats?) who'll regularly fall for this crap.

@Fail

New Labour: Chainsaws out, maybe Contactpoint, too

Moss Icely Spaceport
Thumb Up

Popcorn

This NuLaba disintegration spectacle is great to watch with a huge box of popcorn.

Mind you, the Tories are dumb as dogsh|t too.

Data-sniffing trojans burrow into Eastern European ATMs

Moss Icely Spaceport
Alert

Ye Gods

"The SpiderLabs report said only that the targeted ATMs ran on the Windows XP operating system."

Ahhh, I'm starting to see a pattern forming....

Gordon 'to sacky' Wacky Jacqui

Moss Icely Spaceport
Thumb Up

Bust a nut

Thanks Mr Smith, your nut-bustin' antics worked a treat.

Hindus take divine mace to Sony Playstation

Moss Icely Spaceport
Alert

How about: Religion Wars!

Make a game where ALL the religions battle it out against each other!

......Hang on, isn't that what happens in real life?

Welsh mum amazed by Marmite Messiah

Moss Icely Spaceport
Stop

Who knows what Jesus* looks like?

:: There are no paintings, etchings, sand-drawings from his* time

:: There are no hi-res photographs or other reliable images

:: He's* never done any of the talk-show circuits yet...

:: He* doesn't have a FarceBook page...

* A 'person' alleged to have actually existed in a physical form, on THIS planet. Not to be confused with his Dad who's pretty much invisible most of the time.

Wikipedia bans Church of Scientology

Moss Icely Spaceport
Stop

Religious prejudice

Anyone desiring information about the Scientology religion should visit the Church web site at www.Scientology.org to form their own opinions, please have your credit card ready...

Moss Icely Spaceport
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Firstly, a few facts:

1. wikipedia (aka: Wikiwhacky) is NOT a trustworthy 'encyclopaedia'.

2. The Co$ is NOT a religion, it is a cult (aka: C.U.L.T, aka: Utter Bullshite).

I couldn't give a Xenu's uncle what tripe is posted on wikipedia. It's so far from a reliable source is useless to me.

If I had my way, I'd round up all the Thetanistas and shoot them agin' a wall. However that's probably a bit harsh. Some of them might be salvageable as regular people, with professional treatment*.

* Not Co$ pseudo science

Atlantis safely back to Earth

Moss Icely Spaceport
Alien

Still...

Pretty soon Google will have released it's new "Galaxy-view" [tm] service, who needs Hubble?

Digital Universe adds sextillions to hit 487 billion gigs

Moss Icely Spaceport
Boffin

Quick!

Buy more tubes!!!!

If they can break the law, why can't we?

Moss Icely Spaceport
Pirate

Eat the rich

It's the only way to be sure!

Vatican declares 'the internet is blessed'

Moss Icely Spaceport
Thumb Down

Get off, thy intarwebs are full

Religion and the net?

They just want to control another communications channel before their fairy story is fully exposed as the greatest shonk ever told.

Billy Bragg: Three-strikes lobbying is 'shameful'

Moss Icely Spaceport
Thumb Down

Every day they wait....

....the Recording Industries tired old business model becomes harder and harder to keep alive.

I give them just 5 more years if they don't radically change.

Downing Street on Phorm: 'Meh'

Moss Icely Spaceport
Black Helicopters

I love the smell of conspiracy in the morning

<tinfoilhat>

People, they are all in this together.

Mix politicians with the rich, stir in some business interests and WOOOSH! - anything becomes legal.

No one is watching the watchers.

</tinfoilhat>

Excess of cola floors Oz ostrich farmer

Moss Icely Spaceport
Linux

@ Martin x

"4. He's an ostrich farmer. Out roo shooting. What does this guy have against our Coat of Arms?"

Wot?

Aussie coat of arms = An Ostrich and a Kangaroo?

How about an Emu and a Kangaroo?

http://www.originofnations.org/Australia/Aus_graphics/ccoa_lge.jpeg

Penguin: Well it's a bird isn't it?

Taking a first bite out of Wolfram Alpha

Moss Icely Spaceport
Alert

I googled: "Wolfram Alpha"

All I got was:

"I can't let you do that Dave"

Yorkshire boozer establishes 'smoking research centre'

Moss Icely Spaceport
Pirate

Spell: "Ignorant"

S.M.O.K.E.R

Corrrrrrrrrrrrrect !!!111one

UK.gov international net clean-up plan gathers dust

Moss Icely Spaceport
Black Helicopters

Before the Interwebs..

Governments have always wanted to control what WE think, what WE do and how WE live.

The interwebs just gives them a nice easy tool, great for overbearing and lazy governance.

Politicians: Burnham all!

Pirate Win 7 ruse used to build botnet

Moss Icely Spaceport
Happy

Pirate Win 7 contains a nasty?

How can they tell the difference?

Film industry turns up P2P heat on Carter

Moss Icely Spaceport
Stop

I know!

How about we just shut down the Interwebs?

- No more nasty pr0N

- No more Pirate Bay

- No more P2P

- No more political dissent

- No more Co$ DoS attacks : (

- etc

This could catch on you know...

France says 'Oui!' to three strikes for music pirates

Moss Icely Spaceport
Alert

Winners and losers!

Ok, so I'm cut off for a year...

Looks like the media companies have a small, if dubious, win.

How about my ISP?

Do I have to keep paying out my internet access contract?

Or do the telcos just suck down the loss?

Plod called in on MPs' expenses leak

Moss Icely Spaceport
Stop

Liars

"The ministers named in today's expenses stories have all denied wrongdoing. "

They are all lying!

How can I be so sure?

Their lips moved...

XSS flaws poke ridicule at entertainment industry

Moss Icely Spaceport
Thumb Up

H@ck0rZ

Rule!

Turkey's YouTube blackout enters year two

Moss Icely Spaceport
Black Helicopters

UKTube

"Turkey is just one of several countries to have barred YouTube, including China, Armenia, Morocco, Pakistan, Thailand, Iran, United Arab Emirates, Saudia Arabia, and Syria."

Soon to be joined by: the United Kingdom and Australia.

Ron Howard accuses Pope of scuppering Dan Brown movie

Moss Icely Spaceport
Alert

Aunty Matter

I've waded through both books (A&D + DC), puerile crap in the extreme, but good eye exercise for the insomniacs amongst us.

It's Dan Brown guys!

It's not a 'real' author.

Pilots plot air raid on Jacqui over ID cards

Moss Icely Spaceport
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Sub contract

Sack all the pilots who won't use the ID cards.

Import pilots from the 3rd world.

(Pay them less too)

Wallah!

We have ID card compliance!

What's a few fatal air crashes compared to having ID card compliance?

Trade in secondhand BlackBerries booming in Nigeria

Moss Icely Spaceport
Thumb Up

Data Deletion

Easy.

Old phone or blackberry?

No longer needed or working?

1 x Ball peen hammer

5 x minutes

Apply force

Repeat until finely diced

Season to taste

Dispose.

Jacqui's secret plan to 'Master the Internet'

Moss Icely Spaceport
Pirate

Bring back the Nazi's

Maybe if Germany won in 1945 we would have been better off?

Just saying...

RIAA settles for $7,000 after 4 years pursuing NY mum

Moss Icely Spaceport
Thumb Down

@ Chris C

I took it to mean 'evil' in the way in which they have pursued a (relatively poor) family for so long. People commit suicide over less.

Evil has a name, RIAA is that name.

Meet Phorm's PR genius

Moss Icely Spaceport
Stop

"What an interesting career", indeed.

What an interesting bunch of crooks, bastards and down right bottom feeders....

Phorm boss blogs from a dark, dark place

Moss Icely Spaceport
Joke

Give the guy a break!

He actually BELIEVES in this Ph0Rm stuff you know!

Cameron: Give the UK's health records to Google

Moss Icely Spaceport
Thumb Down

Classic IT

Solution in need of a problem....

Ireland scraps e-voting in favour of 'stupid old pencils'

Moss Icely Spaceport
Thumb Up

Pencil and paper

Tried, true and trusted.

No need for IT at all here.

Move along citizen...

Pirate Bay judge and pro-copyright lobbyist accused of bias

Moss Icely Spaceport
Thumb Up

Copyrighted content...

...it's OUT there.

LOL

Tech giants surrender to Oz Wi-Fi boffins

Moss Icely Spaceport
Boffin

Yay, for the Boffins!

The CSIRO is to nerds what Willy Wonka is to chocoholics!

Lab coated nerds 1

Corporate suits 0

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