Re: formed a taskforce to sort this out
Really!!!
Look out for the 21st Century version of the Spanish Inquisition.
You will be accused of heresy if you fail to support `the true Church` (aka manglement's version of events)
Posts by Fatman
2400 publicly visible posts • joined 6 Apr 2008
Page:
Do you work in IT at RBS? Or at the next place to get hit ...?
Capita ITS asks to-be-axed staffers to pose for marketing pic
Amazon cloud knocked out by violent storms in Virginia
Sysadmins: Your best tale of woe wins a PRIZE
Half the team at the heart of the RBS disaster WERE in India
Thursday 28th June 2012 17:40 GMT
Re: The IT guys can't quantify what they do in management terms.
That's not always true.
A few years ago, one of the newly minted PHB's had ideas of heading "toward the cloud"; which was not ever in the CIO's vision for the company.
The day for the PHB's C level presentation came, and IT came "loaded for bear". Newly minted PHB put on his 'dog and pony show', and got a few C level types interest up. Then it was IT's turn.
Metaphorically speaking, our CIO "blasted that turkey" as if she was carrying a 10 gauge shotgun loaded with 4/0 buck. His "plan" ended up so 'full of holes', it resembled Swiss Cheese. Needless to say, newly minted PHB was promoted to a new position with one of our competitors.
Flames, because it was fun watching him "crash and burn".
Millionaire Ubuntu space nerd Shuttleworth live on The Reg
Breaking: Megaupload seizures illegal says NZ High Court
Automated bank scam 'Operation High Roller' stole from the rich
'Inexperienced' RBS tech operative's blunder led to banking meltdown
Thursday 28th June 2012 00:56 GMT
Re: manager responsible for this almighty F***-up ought to be personally liable for the losses.
You know better, manglement will always escape punishment.
They will always find a new job.
To send the responsible damager on his way to that new position with a new employer, I suggest use of one of these:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trebuchet
Put the mangler in where the rock would have normally been located.
PULL!!!!!!!!!!
RBS IT cockup: This sort of thing can destroy a bank, normally
Samsung to probe Galaxy S III blaze claim
Apple desperate to prevent nightmare scenario of iPad in Iranian hands
Thursday 21st June 2012 21:57 GMT 
The REAL reason why...
is because the fondleslab could be used to expose sensitive sheltered Iranians to all of the decadent and evil things that go on in the rest of the world. You forget that Iran is largely a Muslim country. How are the Iranians supposed to keep the `little ones` eyes from seeing such perversion as Madonna showing her nipples???
Someone's got to say it: "Think of the children!"
OK el Reg, how about an Ayatollah icon, or would that be blasphemy?
Paris, because, well, she would just cause so much consternation for those fundamentalists.
Nigerian scams are hyper-efficient idiot finders
PFY vs Bearded 80s Netscape Bore: BOFH
Friday 15th June 2012 13:48 GMT
Re: confront the real problem (i.e. senior executive .....
Now guys, there is a simple cure to that problem, which could take one of several different forms.
First possible cure is a `mishap` that causes such `senior executive` to suffer a fall from the roof of the building. Higher is better here.
Second possible cure is an elevator accident. Senior executive could be entering or exiting the elevator, and, without any warning, the doors slam shut on him. Further, the elevator could suddenly move toward the floor with the next call, with senior executive trapped between the doors. Such `accidents are not unheard of (example being: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/15/nyregion/elevator-accident-kills-a-woman-in-a-madison-avenue-building.html ) [and BTW, before some bastard `rips me a new one for being insensitive, the cited case was tragic; but anything that happens to braindead PHB is fair game.]
A third possible cure involves water and electricity. Don't be turning on a light switch while standing ankle deep in water; or something of that nature. I once found this photo of some absolutely stupid idiots with a live electrical power strip FLOATING in a SWIMMING POOL. Too bad I did not save that url.
Menaced cartoonist raises $60,000 for copywrong
Wednesday 13th June 2012 19:57 GMT
Re: I understand that is a common problem with Americans
Not all Americans; but especially those that are "in bed" with the MAFIAA and their "bought and paid for lackeys" at the DOJ.
I would just love the idea of some fourth world country demanding the extradition of some DOJ lackey for violating THEIR laws. Will it ever happen?? I seriously doubt it. Then again, who says that the good ole USA is the only country to employ `extraordinary rendition`.
NASA's Curiosity rover will try risky landing near Mount Sharp
Tuesday 12th June 2012 16:47 GMT
Re: you must restart your rover for the updates to take effect"
And pray that its BIOS isn't fucked from all of that radiation the rover received during its journey to the red planet.
I wonder how much NASA has to pay Micro$oft for the latest version of "Windows for Spacecraft - Extraterrestrial Edition".
Why MongoDB? It's the developers, stupid
Techies beg world to join the 1% on IPv6 launch day
Wednesday 6th June 2012 13:04 GMT
Re: Supporting old kit would show real commitment.
THAT may not be possible with some REAL old kit.
First, that would require new firmware, with the possibility that the router firmware may end up being too large for the installed flash chip.
Second, the size of a IPv6 address, memory capacity in old kit may not support the 16 bytes needed to store a IPv6 address vs only 4 for a IPv4 address.
Third, there is some really old kit that should end up being retired.
US military gives NASA two better-than-Hubble telescopes
Wednesday 6th June 2012 12:39 GMT
RE: Re: "never intended to be NASA's only access to space"
This portion of your comment:
`A lot of NASA top-brass SO wanted to axe the shuttle and actually get a worthwhile project going to replace it. But every time they did, the project gets axed by some politician trying to look good to the voters.`
explains WHY SpaceX can be so successful. NO FUCKING POLITICIANS meddling with spending priorities.
Pint, because after the successful launch, docking and return of Dragon, you guys at SpaceX earned it.
Microsoft hands out tools to sneak Skype onto new PCs
US officials confirm Stuxnet was a joint US-Israeli op
Saturday 2nd June 2012 23:30 GMT
Re: ...someplace to send Republicans with treasonous ambitions
I would bet if that were true, thge C-130's would be stuffed to the limits with Republicans.
On the inaugural flight, the Captain is heard to say over the intercom: "Ladies, and Gentlemen, you all expense paid vacation trip tot Club Gitmo is preparing for takeoff. Please stow all loose luggage and strap yourself in. Some lucky vacationers will get the 'full experience' by parachuting in from 12,000 feet."
Why do I keep getting this scene from "Con Air" in my head.
Oracle case crippled after judge rules APIs can’t be copyrighted
SpaceX Dragon SPLASHDOWN in Pacific! Private space triumph
Saturday 2nd June 2012 22:02 GMT
Re: Please don't troll
You hit the nail on the head witrh this:
"It just proved it can do the work the big boys can do, at a fraction of the cost and without being at the mercy of political cutbacks. "
Which is EXACTLY why it is such a success!
The fucking politicians can not meddle in it, and parcel out pieces to each and every congressional district as political payback.
Secondly, we all know the motto of Big Business-Political Opportunity Agreements, don't we??
It is:
"Money Talks, Bullshit Walks"
Pint, because the people at SpaceX deserve one!!
Congrats, job well done!!!!
Third-gen Ultrabooks must offer USB 3.0, anti-theft tech
Saturday 2nd June 2012 21:47 GMT
Re: I'm pleased to see anti-theft being specified
You must be dreaming when you said:
".....the insurance industry might be sufficiently incentivised by any long term drop in opportunistic theft to recude the excess..."
because, if you were not, then I
1) have some swamp land in Florida I can sell you, or
2) may be able to make a deal on a "historic" bridge located in London, or perhaps one in New York City, or
3) believe that you fail to understand the insurance industry - you pay your premiums, and the insurance company denies the claim. It is that simple, nothing comes between an insurance company and any excuse to charge a higher premium. There is NO SUCH THING as a rate reduction. Stockholder profits and excutive bonuses come first.
HP boffins create net-zero energy data center
Megaupload founder gets uncuffed
Wednesday 30th May 2012 19:33 GMT
Re: Where is the Outer mongolia border for the FBI these days?
I believe it is here;
Point Barrow, North Slope, Alaska
just put that into Google maps.
Perfect place for those(1) who were responsible for this 'situation' to spend a lot of 'quality time'.
(1) Members of the MPAA and the RIAA, and their ass kissing Congressional allies, starting with Dodd.
Flames, because it is the only way to stay warm for more than 6 months a in the year.
Hit upgrade on Symantec Backup Exec, and unleash Hell
Tuesday 29th May 2012 12:10 GMT
Re: When I hear the words...`in order to better meet the needs of our customers`
Is `doublespeak` for the bullshit from the marketing weasels.
Hey Reg, can we get a bullshit icon?????
This one comes to mind:
http://www.mormongags.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/node-gallery-display/bullshit2.JPG
SpaceX does what it HASN'T done before: Dragon in close ISS flyby
The most dangerous job in America: Keeping iPhones connected
Thursday 24th May 2012 13:28 GMT
Tower Climbing Hazards
I once talked to a tower climber about his job, and the hazards associated with it.
Since he is based in the southern states (USA of course), the most dangerous aspect is not the climb, but nasty weather that rolls in faster than he could get safely down.
He told me that one day, he had top climb to the top of a 1850 foot tower located near Florida's Atlantic shore. As he started up, the sky was clear and bright blue. Once he got to the top, and was well into fixing the problem, he looked eastward (out over the Atlantic), and saw this nasty storm cloud. It looked like it was heading his way. Tough choice to make - finish the job; and PRAY that you can get down BEFORE the storm hits; or take the safe route, and get down while there is still time.
Oh, and btw, this was a FIXED PRICE job!
WWYD???
Oracle gobbles upstart Facebook, Instagram biz tout
Thursday 24th May 2012 12:53 GMT
Re: `Top Move`
What do you expect, after all they just had their asses handed to them courtesy of the jury verdict in the trial against Google.
Allow me to be the first to predict that Oracle will find some reason to use this acquisition's IP in some lawsuit in the next 12 to 30 months.
Eli$on and co would do well to turn in their immediate resignations, before the stockholders demand their heads `on a silver platter`.
Windows XP update fails in infinite .NET patch loop
Wednesday 23rd May 2012 14:17 GMT
Re: Look guys...when you upgrade to Windows 8....
In WHAT fucking parallel universe????
I can't wait for the wailing and gnashing to come out of 'big business' at the prospect of having to retrain office staff to have to deal with Metro.
Then again, spoken by a freetard who ripped Unity off this Ubuntu box.
Wednesday 23rd May 2012 14:04 GMT
Re: Oh, grief!
Me TOO!!!!
What a bunch of dumb fuckwits!
Recently, I got a new 'puter loaded with WindbloZE 7 on it.
As a diehard Linux user, I could not tolerate the prospect of a WindblowZE infection existing on my 'puter.
After purchasing a new, larger hard drive, I took the anti-static bag it came in, and put the old WindblowZE 7 hard drive in it, and plastered the bag with `biohazard` labels.
WindblowZE - dangerous to the health of a 'puter.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
