* Posts by Fatman

2400 publicly visible posts • joined 6 Apr 2008

Fearless slayer of lawsuit-lovin' patent trolls steps forward from shadows

Fatman
Happy

Re: Extortion

So tie patent trolls to chairs and cut off their pinkies balls, a language they understand.

FTFY!!

Surface Pro 2: It's TOOL-PROOF and ultimately destined for LANDFILL

Fatman

Re: Dashed hopes...Just how hard is it to make the battery ... easy to replace.

Ever hear of:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planned_obsolescence

Now you have your answer.

Microsoft pulls Win 8.1 RT code which upgraded Surface 'slabs into BRICKS

Fatman

Re: Nice work, Microsoft

although I am not hopeful, because Windows support appears to be crowd OUTsourced.

FTFY!

Fatman

Re: Bricked or somewhat confused. @Khaptain

Otherwise it is just temporarily "confused". I really can't think of a suitable adjective to replace confused - incapacitated, out of order ....

How about FUCKED UP BEYOND ALL REPAIR!!!

Fatman
FAIL

Re: The defnition of bricked is unrecoverable

Stop arguing with this! This is a technical site, not "Windows for (L)users",

FTFY!

Former Nokia boss Ollila: Stephen Elop was second-choice CEO

Fatman
FAIL

RE: Ollila says there were several reasons for Nokia's spectacular decline

No, there was only one:

'The hiring of a former Microsoft executive who turned out to be Ballmer's Trojan Horse."

'nuff said.

Whodathunkit? Media barons slit own throats in flawed piracy crackdowns

Fatman

Re: Cold water?

Typical MPAA spokeswoman sticking fingers in ears her head up her ass shouting, "I'm not listening!"

FTFY!

Web.com DNS hijack: How hacktivists went on a mass web joyride spree

Fatman

Re: In another area of life

If my bank received a fax , with my name at the bottom, asking to transfer a large amount of money to a certain Nigerian bank account, I wonder what they'd do.

That might depend on whether or not the fax contained your signature. A signed order most likely would be honored, as it isn't that much different from a check (cheque for those on the east side of the pond).

Brazil's anti-NSA prez urged to SNATCH keys to the internet from America

Fatman
Flame

Re: Trust

Dude, you should take a closer look at the USA gov for a moment, you know the one currently unable to act because its global credit card is maxed out major political parties are acting like a couple of schoolboys that can't get along?

FTFY!!

Both political parties deserve a through ass whipping from the electorate.

Canadian operator EasyDNS stands firm against London cops

Fatman

Re: Hey, I've got an idea...

Already done. See /etc/hosts (or the Windows equivalent, if such a thing still exists).

BUT, that supposes that you already have the IP address.

If you don't have it to begin with??

Since an IP(v4) address is only 4 octets, all one needs is a 256 entry "word dictionary"

Example, the City of London's IP address (one of many, perhaps) is 86.54.118.84.

Assume the following word assignments:

54 - yourself

84 - cops

86 - fuck

118 - london

then translating that IP address into words would give us:

fuck.yourself.london.cops

Fatman

Re: just out of curiosity

...but, seriously, how have we let this happen?

By electing absolute IMBECILES as lawmakers; those IMBECILES being bought and paid for by their corporate masters.

APPLE is the new COCA-COLA: Bubble-beverage globocorp beaten by Foxconn rebrander

Fatman
WTF?

Re: "seamless omnichannel experience"

That can only have come from one of those random buzzphrase generators drug fueled marketing bullshit brainstorming sessions.

ZERO-G DINOSAUR made from bits and bobs by space station flight engineer

Fatman

Thank $DEITY that dinosaur wasn't purple!!!

WD unveils new MyBook line: External drives now bigger... and CHEAP

Fatman
FAIL

Re: Bad Experience

Who needs the grief?

Also applies to trying to use these drives as "normal external storage".

The model I have has a power down setting that idles the drive if it isn't used often enough; and it takes a good 20 seconds for it to "power up". Fuck that!

I went ahead and got an external USB case for some of my old drives; and use them as external storage; and limit the use of the My Book to back ups only.

As external storage, they are a waste of money; as a backup drive, then, well, its beauty is in the "eyes of the beholder".

London schoolboy cuffed for BIGGEST DDOS ATTACK IN HISTORY

Fatman
Coat

Re: DDOS

Am I the only AC to read that as DILDOS ?

Yep, You sure did; it is the best operating system for use in penetration efforts.

</snark>

Final preview of IE11 for Windows 7 uncanned

Fatman
WTF?

Re: An imaginary conversation with Microsoft

Q: Perhaps you could call IE11 something else?

A: Try "shit on a stick".

Fatman

Re: If is crashes like IE10 then I'll pass

Thats because opening up more than 10 tabs in Firefox will grind your machine to such a halt that it become unusable.

NOW, if you are using it on a Pentium 4 with only 512 mb of RAM, then it most likely run as slow as molasses in a Vermont winter. I know, because I once had such a dog. A newer rig running a i3 and 4gb of RAM is so much faster.

City of Munich throws Ubuntu lifeline to Windows XP holdouts

Fatman
FAIL

Re: Nice idea, but...

The idea that rpm and dpkg are anything like as user-friendly as setup.exe is a joke.

Then it seems that you don't understand WHAT a package manager DOES; and I don't have the time to EDUCATE YOU.

In case you CARE to become educated:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Package_management_system

After you have gleaned what you are capable of comprehending from that article, can you tell me that the fucked up setup.exe system used by WindblowZE is better????? NOTE carefully the comments about maintaining UPDATES.

Fatman
FAIL

Re: Half measures

Especially the computer illiterate ones that still believe the blue E "is the internet".

FTFY

Fatman
Linux

RE: Re: What's wrong with LiMux?

Presumably desperately trying to invent new jobs for themselves after the failure that is the local attempt at migrating to Linux is likely nearing it's end (over ten years and tens of millions spent...

I smell a Microshaft shill!!

'NSA PRISM spies' shake down victims with bogus child-abuse vids claims

Fatman

Re: So surprised

Penalties against perps in a scam like this should be very harsh indeed.

A .357 to the head would suffice.

Torched £30 server switch costs phone firm millions in lost sales

Fatman

Naturally, I assumed that this was a misdirected e-mail meant for someone else brain dead PHB in the company with the same surname.

FTFY!

Intermedia's Exchange hive goes titsup ... and no one's answering calls

Fatman
Linux

I'm glad I'm not the sysadmin that typed in the wrong unix WindblowZE command that brought the whole thing down!

FTFY!!!

Fatman

Re: "financially backed SLA"

All you get back is the value of the proportion of time that your subscription for the services covered, not the value of the financial loss you suffered to your business - assuming it survives the hit - while the service was down.

Which is something DAMAGEMENT WILL NEVER COMPREHEND!!!!

When DAMAGEMENT starts spouting the cloud bullshit, it is time to get the fuck out.

A clusterfuck is heading your way, and you don't know when it will hit.

Sage 50 activation blackout: Shops sent back to paper age

Fatman

Re: Always a "small" amount of customers . . .

People should design such software with the assumption that it WILL fail at some point and build in measures to allow paying customers to work around it.

<sarcasm>

YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!!

According to the Business Software Alliance Bullshit Society of America, software piracy is increasing exponentially.

Thew only way to combat such piracy is to include ever increasing draconian forms of DRM (Digital Rights Management), (Digital Rectal Manipulation). The only acceptable way forward is to adopt a fuck the paying customer attitude. End of story.

</sarcasm>

Fatman

Re: Been there, avoided that.

So, lost sales, fines possibly for late pay, a right mess to sort out later with lots of overtime. How much did they save by going to a cloud based accounting systems exactly?

That's NOT the point.

DAMAGEMENT can deflect blame for their incompetence.

"WE didn't fuck up. the cloud provider did!!!"

You are best NOT being around when IT does hit the fan. Usually, the bastards responsible for the clusterfuck are long gone, and some other sap has to clean up what hit the fan. WHY should it be you?? When you see signs of DAMAGEMENT SYNDROME in your company, get the fuck out, and fast.

Redmond's certification chief explains death of MCM and MCA

Fatman

Re: MS is Cutting costs

This is the remarkable part, yes. An admission their pockets are not bottomless.

You've got it,

"We must increase shareholder value, and if it doesn't increase shareholder value, then it is a flop."

Fatman

Re:...and above all a lower TCO in any combination of public / private cloud model.

This comment brought to you by a paid Microsoft shill.

Fatman
WTF?

Microsoft Certifications

At our Linux shop, when prospective IT bods show up with a Microsoft cert, the obvious question is: What is it good for?

Our CIO's stock reply is: Wiping your ass!.

Says it all!!!

Behind the candelabra: Power cut sends Britain’s boxes back to the '70s

Fatman

Re: Indeed...

Fuse caught fire? Wow, that's interesting.

NO, what is interesting is the sound a 1200 amp circuit breaker makes when it is accidentally DEAD SHORTED!!!!!

Another big SAP project hits the rocks in Oz

Fatman

Re: SAP is for saps

but because SAP are good at getting access to decision makers and convincing them that SAP is a low risk option ensuring a healthy flow of campaign cash.

FTFY!

Snowden is great news for hybrid cloud says VMware

Fatman

RE: Re: Those guys are either complete idiots or they think we are

This has been my opinion from the start, although I have sometimes had the feeling I am getting old fashioned.

NO, you are just exhibiting the ability to comprehend the ramifications of having YOUR data under someone else's control and how the gubmint of the US of A can spy on YOUR data if it passes through the US.

ID10Ts who spout "cloud" are just seeking to deflect any blame from their incompetence; any COMPETENT MANAGER knows that once you surrender control of YOUR DATA to a third party, all bets are off.

Only DAMAGEMENT tries to deflect blame, and point responsibility to a third party.

Bionic Brit Babbage Bear boards brilliant balloon, bests ballsy Baumgartner

Fatman

RE: Or was he pushed?

It would cause no shedding of tears on my part, if the esteemed Microsoft CEO were to exit in the same fashion (i.e. a long fall from grace).

Koobface worm-flinging gangster linked to pharma spam ops

Fatman

Re: But what should they call the operation?

How about:

Operation Castrate The Bastards

EFF, Lessig battling copyright takedowns

Fatman

Maybe he's a copyright lawyer? :D

More likely he works for the scumbags shysters lawyers at Prenda Law.

Nasty BOFHses. It burns us! It burns...

Fatman

RE: Just looked up the EtherKiller.

But, then, who wires an entire building full of 386 boxes using daisy-chained 10base2??

DAMAGEMENT, that's who!!!!!

Fatman

As my colleague put it "no-one had calculated the terminal velocity of a turd after falling 12 stories". After enough sustained impacts the downflow had punched the elbow off the pipe...

Then they must have very poor engineers/architects design buildings.

Back in the '70's when I was in construction, working on a 23 story, the vertical sewer mains had a set of 4 45 degree ells every 6 floors, creating what the plumbers sarcastically referred to as a 'shit break'.

This caused the flow to turn 45 degrees to the left, then straight down, then 45 degrees to the right, and finally, straight down. This "jogging" insured that the turds got "broken up".

Flush that architect.

US court: Dell can't hound debtor with robocalls to her mobile

Fatman

Shitty business practices

I just had a recent dealing with a local hospital that left a "very bad taste in my mouth".

Since we 'muricans don't have decent single payer medical insurance; you have to deal with the idiocracies of various payment departments.

Many insurance companies negotiate a fixed rate for services, regardless of what the provider bills. Those contracts require the provider to "eat" the difference between the contracted rate and the billed amount. Sometimes hospital office workers get lazy and fail to make the required adjustment; and you, the patient gets robo-called to death. Trying to get some shithead to get it is an exercise in futility; and in my case, after three months of dealing with low-life subordinates; I decided to go to the top. "C" level execs hate it when you interrupt their 'golf game' for petty bullshit, like their hospital's billing department fucking up, and being complete dicks about fixing their mistake.

Once I got through to a "C" level, did the shit hit the fan. Within two hours, I had a supervisor call me and get the issue resolved.

All I can say is this, "If you don't succeed in getting it resolved at the bottom end of the 'food chain', then you have to go to the top, and not give a fuck about whose scalp is about to get burned in the process."

End of story.

Report: Secret British spy base in Middle East taps region's internet

Fatman
FAIL

Re: Another possibility

That's a level 19 skill to spout bullshit out of any orifice on command. It takes years of training for 007's.

WRONG!!!!!!

It IS a job requirement for manglers, politicians, lawyers shysters, bankers wankers, PR mouthpieces PAID LIARS, etc.

Xerox begins rolling out patches for jumbled-numbers copier glitch

Fatman

RE: I'll bet the manager responsible for this mess has seen his career prospects deep-8ed, eh?

More likely, promoted.

</sarcasm>

Google cursed its own phones with wacked Wi-Fi, say Nexus users

Fatman

Re: Nobody understands sarcasm around here any more...

For that, you must use explicit <sarcasm> tags!!!!!

Yahoo! Japan drops UPS systems, crams batteries into servers

Fatman

RE: Yahoo dropping UPS systems

It seems that you, and Jason Ozolins above "get it".

By removing one set of AC -> DC conversions in the power chain, you can improve the overall efficiency; and in a large data center, that can add up. If you use server designs that can take 12 volts DC, and, ON THE BOARD create the necessary 5 volt and 3.3 (or lower) voltages for the ICs, you reduce PSU complexity (essentially an integrated PSU). All in one neat package.

New tool lets single server map entire internet in 45 minutes

Fatman
FAIL

RE: and yet it takes Win7 40 seconds to find the 15 computers on my LAN.

Do you know why???

Because, between each scan, WindblowZE 7 must call home to the mother lode Borg Central to determine if you are using Genuine WindblowZE.

</sarcasm>

Microsoft DMCA takedown requests targeting OpenOffice

Fatman

Re: Could it be ....As MS sinks slowly beneath the waves...

And is found at the bottom of the Atlantic, alongside the MS Titanic.

May it forever rust in peace.

Samsung faces Brazilian rap: Factory bods work '15hrs without break'

Fatman

Is there a website where all these PR depts get these crappy canned statements from?

YES

It is called MoreBullShitAndLies.com and it is a PR droids' godsend.

Top execs off as Zynga's new CEO shaves 'layer' off senior ranks

Fatman

Re: good call

Not quite!

Generally the majority of senior executives in a software company do nothing but eat up the bonus pool increase the salary and wages expense, at the expense of the rank and file employees (see EA).

FTFY

Obama appoints intelligence boss to run 'independent' review of NSA

Fatman

Re: "Depends on what the meaning of "is" is...."

Here's an idea. ANY time someone in power says "it depends on what the meaning of X is", you throw them in solitary confinement waterboard them for 6 months with nothing but a dictionary to read. See how it goes after that ...

FTFY!!!

Michael Dell accuses Icahn of using court as takeover tool

Fatman

RE: "Typo"

"Icahn, for his part, claims he just wants value for money for stockholders himself, saying Dell is trying to buy back the company on the cheap."

Great minds think alike!

Tor servers vanish as FBI swoops on kiddie-smut suspect

Fatman

RE: thank god this sick fuck network is down.

Obviously, you forgot your <sarcasm> tag!

SAP boss cops jail time plea after Lego barcode bust

Fatman

Re: Wake me up

Agreed!!!

And Madoff don't count, because he outed himself.