nav search
Data Center Software Security DevOps Business Personal Tech Science Emergent Tech Bootnotes
BOFH
Lectures

* Posts by Shades

864 posts • joined 27 Mar 2008

Page:

Which? calls for compensation for users hit by Windows 10 woes

Shades
WTF?

Re: If it was only security patches

"smug, arrogant, leftist, millenial 'political correctness' fascist. [...] typical of THE LEFT."

Jesus H f**king Christ on a bicycle at Christmas. When did El Reg start letting MAGA type dickheads sign up? Bring back Matt, all is forgiven!

0
0

Swiss cops will 'tolerate' World Cup rabble-rousers – for 60 minutes

Shades

Re: Being sensible

"I live next to a church. If I fancy an early night on a Tuesday, it's impossible due to the campanologists practicing, but that is their right and their hobby so I would never dream complain."

I'm going to hazard a guess and say the church was there long before you moved next door? Churches often have bells and bell ringers need to practice. I'd argue that, unless they're practicing every day for hours or at night, you have very little right to complain. I also extend this argument to the cretins who move close to existing nightclubs or live music venues then complain about the noise*.

* I know people who had very successful late night entertainment businesses but had to permanently close them because the idiotic local council gave planning permission for new housing developments nearby and then the equally idiotic new residents complained to the council about the businesses who were then forced to shut. So well done to the residents for denying local job creators their, and their employees, right to earn a living <slow hand clap>.

12
4

WannaCry reverse-engineer Marcus Hutchins hit with fresh charges

Shades

Re: Who do you trust?

"In civilized countries a charge sheet or its equivalent is handed in COURT. You have to demonstrate to a judge that there is enough material to charge a person and it is the court which hands the charge sheet. This is the case in the UK [...].

In less civilized countries charges are filed by a prosecutor,"

I'm not entirely convinced this is correct; for the UK at least. I could be wrong but If the police feel there is enough evidence that you have committed a crime, particularly in open-and-shut cases (like a positive breathaliser result for instance) or something they have witnessed themselves, they can charge you without consulting any other agency or court. If they are not sure they have enough evidence to charge someone they consult with the CPS (Crown Prosecution Service) to gauge the chances of a successful prosecution with what evidence they do have. If the CPS feel there is, again, its the police that charge you.

24
0

Five actually useful real-world things that came out at Apple's WWDC

Shades
Paris Hilton

Re: Funny Sound Bite on Radio 4 This morning

"As an old parent, with parents now in their early teens"

Does not compute.

9
0

New Monty Python movie to turn old jokes into new royalties

Shades

Re: Don't forget the other two holy words

Ecky ecky fatang

4
0

Twenty years ago today: Windows 98 crashed live on stage with Bill Gates. Let's watch it again...

Shades

"Windows 10 can still point the way back to simpler and happier times.

By generating a BSoD when you least expect it."

Apart from a catastrophically dead hard-drive once being the cause I can't remember the last time I saw a BSOD on 10, 8 or XP.

1
0

BT pushes ahead with plans to switch off telephone network

Shades
Trollface

Re: Oh well

Have an obligatory downvote for moaning about downvotes.

3
9

Does my boom look big in this? New universe measurements bewilder boffins

Shades

Re: The edge is nothing more than a ripple in the pond

"Doesn't part of that trip go through Mexico?"

No. We took Interstate 10 from LA to San Antonio which passes through the Mexican border town of El Paso (US side) and then runs south-west parallel with the border (a few miles away from it) for about 60 miles before turning east south-east towards San Antonio.

0
0
Shades

Re: The edge is nothing more than a ripple in the pond

"It's just so mind-bogglingly far that it's hard to grasp. Think trillions or more of light years away."

As a Brit I couldn't grasp it taking two days to travel from Los Angeles, CA to San Antonio, TX by road. Still, some spectacular views along the way and I saw the Milky Way with my own eyes for the first time.

9
0

Chilly willies: Swedish nudie nightclub opens in -11°C to disgust of locals

Shades

Re: depression and broken souls

Once the LGB&Q crowd are involved it's going to be cheap and tacky and about sex.

Sounds a lot more fun that you do homophobe.

El Reg needs a "wanker" icon.

5
1

Cali cops' Clue caper: Apple technicans, in an iPhone repair lab, with the 1,600 silent 911 calls

Shades

I once got a call on my mobile out of the blue from the local 999 operator asking me if I was okay. Obviously detecting the slight confusion at my end she asked me if I had a Nokia. Seemed a random thing to ask but as it happened I did have a Nokia (a 3310 to be precise). Apparently the 999 operators used to get a lot of random calls from Nokia phones as, even when locked, all you had to do was hold down the 9 key for a second and it would automatically dial 999 without even needing to press call.

23
0

H-1B visa hopefuls, green card holders are feeling the wrath of 'America first' Trump

Shades

Bingo!

Why did you stop? I just need Emails, Hillary, and Fake News for a line!

14
0
Shades

Re: i am wondering about unintended consequences

"Then the remaining two will fuck each other to death."

Where do I sign up?

7
0

IBM lobs sueball at travel site Expedia for using some old Prodigy patents

Shades

Isn't this...

...pretty much the entire web? Is every website ever supposed to have a licence from International Bullying Machine?

54
0

The Quantum of Firefox: Why is this one unlike any other Firefox?

Shades

Re: It is faster, yes

Zenmate has recently limited their only free VPN server to one in Germany (removing their US, Singapore and somewhere in Eastern Europe servers). I used it to watch the Daily Show and Last Week Tonight. Useless to me now.

1
0
Shades

Re: The Quantum of Firefox

"It actually makes things easier for developers to provide add-ons for all browsers."

But I - nor most people I dare say- don't use all browsers. What good is that to me when add-ons that I rely on that can't or won't (because the dev doesn't have the time or resources to start from scratch, or relevant APIs no longer exist) be migrated to the new version?

I can't help but feel the direction browsers are moving in is to specifically prevent us from tailoring our experience of the web, to make it less flexible, to prevent us from sidestepping all the annoying cruft? It wouldn't surprise me if, in a few years, user CSS and anything, like scripts, that can mess with a pages HTML/DOM that hasn't come from the originating server (or other servers designated by the original server) - so things like the GreaseMonkey add-ons and similar - find their necessary APIs dropped?

Soon there's going to be nothing to differentiate any browser, how is that going to encourage ANYBODY to switch to Firefox? Most people won't give a damn about a theoretical 30% speed increase - achieved in a no doubt strictly controlled environment - when what they have still "works".

10
1

Coming live to a warzone near you: Army Truck Driver for Xbox!

Shades

An X-Box controller controlled truck. How cute.

How about a 596bhp Nissan GTR controlled with a PS4 DualShock4 controller... From of frickin' helicopter!

https://youtu.be/jxKTBRcVROw

0
0

Xperia XZ1: Sony spies with its MotionEye something beginning...

Shades

Great review...

For a tablet. Any chance of telling us how it functions as, umm, y'know, a phone?

7
1

Facebook, Twitter slammed for deleting evidence of Russia's US election mischief

Shades
Trollface

Re: obligatory 1984 quote

Forgotten? They released an album in May of this year, they're still going.

4
1

FCC Commissioner blasts new TV standard as a 'household tax'

Shades
Big Brother

Who pays to use YOUR internet connection?

So who will it be, the TV manufacturers, broadcasters, or advertisers that will be paying for the TV/Home owners internet connection to deliver the "personalised" content?

"He thought of the telescreen with its never-sleeping ear"

17
0

UK Prime Minister calls on internet big beasts to 'auto-takedown' terror pages within 2 HOURS

Shades

Re: Obviously this is very much "Oh god think of the children!" territory, buuut...

"YT relies on the second half of the "algorithm" - The Report Abuse button."
So does FB, and I'm a big fan of it. There's enough places on the internet to peruse lady baps and/or gentlemen sausage (or even tentacles, if thats your thing) on the internet without being confronted with it on FB too. Don't get me wrong, I'm all in favour of watching people bump uglies, just not in the middle of the virtual town centre.

5
1

Another Brexit cliff edge: UK.gov warned over data flows to EU

Shades

Yeah, imagine those foreigners wanting you to be accountable for your crimes committed in their countries. What a bunch of selfish bastards.

7
0
Shades

Re: Stupid people don't know they're stupid

"but they often find it politically expedient to blame "Brussels" for things they may well have approved but are not very popular at home, at the moment."
You mean live UK.gov have done time and time again... "It was the EU that dun it. Honest".

9
0
Shades

Re: "cancellation of fishing rights for other countries in British waters"

"every area that includes UK territorial waters includes territorial waters of at least one other state"

And so does Portugal, Spain, France, Italy, Greece, Belgium, Germany, Holland, Ireland, Denmark, Sweden, Finland, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Poland, Romania, Bulgaria, Slovenia, and Croatia.

Your point is?

1
2
Shades

"What data ? whats the problem?

I just cant get the gist of this article.

The fabled Brexiteer "intelligence" on display again.

21
5
Shades

Re: what?

Wolfetone, I cannot upvote this enough.

The self-fulfilling prophesy: "The EU doesn't work for us" - Well it won't if you keep electing fraud committing morons who don't sodding turn up and when they do do f*ck all.

32
2
Shades

Re: "The potential downside of not getting this right is very serious,"

The fact that you think this is an issue of "translating data from one format to another" leads me to believe you haven't got the first f*cking clue what you're talking about. This is why many "remoaners" hold leavers in such contempt.

43
2
Shades

Lets just get this over with then:

  • You lost, get over it
  • Stop talking the country down
  • We're more important to them...
  • German cars
  • Soros
  • We managed okay before the war
  • The EU is an unelected dictatorship
  • REMOANER!!

21
7

UK.gov snaps on rubber gloves, prepares for mandatory porn checks

Shades

1970's/1980's = Huge porn 'staches.

2010's/2020's = Huge porn stashes.

7
0

Speaking in Tech: What is a Windows 10 licence worth these days?

Shades

"Anyone fancy a Phillips CM8833 mkii?"

Mine is still in the loft, but thanks anyway.

0
0

Google, Mozilla both say they sped up the web today. One by blocking ads. One with ads

Shades

I switch off ad blocking once...

Never. Again.

For some context I have MSI GS40 - 3.5Ghz Quad Core i7 with 16gb of RAM and a 256gb SSD - a laptop thats not short on performance and a 60mb internet connection.

I once switched off the NoScript and Ghostery FireFox add-ons and, well... page load times massively increased as if I was on dial-up, some pages had (according to Ghostery) 40-odd trackers/adverts and such, and (according to NoScript) 20-odd external scripts, the pages jumped all over the place with scripts messing about with the DOM, images resizing, fonts changing and zooming in or out, auto-play video's that expand and shrink when done and move the content about, and on, and on, and on, and on...

Err, thanks but no thanks. Until websites stop actively creating a jarring, time-consuming and painful user experience then my ad/script blockers are staying firmly on. You can call me a freeloader, I don't really care, but you can only call me that if you've never, ever skipped adverts on anything you've PVR'd.

3
0

Hotheaded Brussels civil servants issued with cool warning: Leak

Shades
Stop

Start of 2 year exit negotiations?

Why do media outlets keep saying the talks mark the start of the 2 year exit negotiations?

The 2 year exit countdown has already started, its started upon delivery of the Article 50 letter... 2 and a half months ago, most of which has been wasted by Theresa Mayhems ill-advised and ill-fated snap GE.

16
0

Microsoft's new Surface laptop defeats teardown – with glue

Shades

What happened to screwing?

I love screwing!

9
0

That YouTube ad boycott had square-root of sod-all effect on Google's insane cash machine

Shades
Paris Hilton

Adverts?

YouTube has adverts? Since when?

2
0

Just delete the internet – pr0n-blocking legislation receives Royal Assent

Shades

Re: William Wallace

Until they finally convince themselves completely that banning encryption is the only way to save us all.

6
1

Official: America auto-scanned visitors' social media profiles. Also: It didn't work properly

Shades

"When the airlines start losing money from less people flying into or around the country and less passengers from abroad traveling to the USA"

When? Its already happening. Global searches, and bookings, of flights/holidays to the US are already dramatically down.

15
0

Did your in-flight entertainment widget suck? It's Panasonic's fault, claims software biz

Shades

I managed to make my IFE crash on an Emirates flight a couple of years ago, by doing exactly the same thing. Fortunately they got it back up by rebooting just my system from one of the galleys. It took ages to reboot, with all the usual Linux mumbo-jumbo whizzing up the screen, eventually, I think, booting into a custom version of Android with the boot logos removed and immediately going into a custom launcher.

The easiest way to tell if an IFE system is running Android is by going to the maps or games section and starting a game or map. I'm not sure if its because the IFE systems have a tiny amount of memory but they seem to remove the audio/video/info section (launcher?) of the IFE system from memory, briefly causing the Android on-screen buttons to appear before running the game/map and vice-versa when you quit. My memory is a bit fuzzy with Emirates doing this, but I know Singapore Airlines IFE does.

1
0
Shades

Re: Necessary Evil

Flew with BA to Mexico last year, food was dire. Return journey was with Iberia, food was worse still. Food on Emirates is okay, so too on Lufthansa (you even get free sandwiches on their short hop flights which was a surprise!) and Etihad wasn't bad. Best was probably Singapore Airlines, who even brought proper Magnum ice creams (on sticks) round for desert. Was quite a weird experience eating a proper ice cream while watching the world pass by at 35,000ft.

Incidentally Singapore Airlines also do really good flight kits, even in the cheap seats, 3 of which found their way into my hand luggage and the nice blue zipped bags are now used to keep things organised in my hand luggage back-pack! :D

2
0

Grumpy Trump trumped, now he's got the hump: Muslim ban beaten back by appeals court

Shades

Re: Even if it were true...

#BowlingGreenMassacre #NeverForget

7
0
Shades
Trollface

Re: Shame on you all

"a cup of tea"

They threw out all the tea, remember?

1
0

Playpen child sex abuse archive admin gets 20 years in the Big House

Shades

Re: Punishment fits the crime? @Shades

What a load of absolute fucking shit. Between the back tracking, bullshit claims of "percentages", use of snowflake, and whines of political correctness no doubt you pair are backward fuckwit Trump (and/or Fuhrage) supporters.

Anyone, without the tendency to be a lying cunt, knows full well you weren't referring to BDSM bottoms; Besides the fact there are many facets to BDSM - only some of which involve pain - if, on the off-chance a paedophile was also into BDSM, I don't think getting the absolute living shit stomped out of you is something even the most hardened BDSM bottom would find pleasurable. Doubly so for a BDSM top - "if he's not, he'll learn to enjoy it" - why the fuck would a BDSM top "learn to enjoy" having the living shit stomped out of him? Get the fuck out of here with your pathetic "I mean't BDSM" backtracking bullshit!

So, what other section of society uses the terms Bottom and Top? What other section of society has, for many, many years also suffered the unfounded stereotype and stigma of being associated with paedophilia? Go on, take one fucking guess...

And on behalf of others? For all you know I could be extravagantly fabulous myself, have close friends who are also fabulous, so too a couple of cousins and have worked within the gay night-life industry. You don't know me, so who the fuck are you to suggest I'm being offended on behalf of others? However, you do realise that you don't have to be the "subject" (for want of a better word) that is being offensively commented upon to be offended right? I don't have to be gay to be offended by a casual connection between homosexuality and paedophilia, similarly I don't have to, as a kid, have been fucked by an adult to find a "joke" about paedophilia offensive. To believe otherwise is treading dangerously down the path of being a typical piece of shit Drumpf/Fuhrage supporting wanker.

BTW, you are dead wrong about gay men "far" preferring fellatio... maybe you're projecting your time in the school showers?

TL;DR Go fuck yourselves, you pair of utter scumbags.

25
3
Shades

Re: Punishment fits the crime?

"A child abuser has been sentenced to jail - where, if he's a bottom,"

Hold your horses there buddy. You seem to be insinuating that all paedophiles are gay, ergo only gays are potential paedophiles. With all due respect, which in this case is absolutely none, please take your outdated views and fuck off!

45
6

Murdoch's 21st Century Fox agrees £18.5bn Sky takeover deal

Shades

Why now? As the article states, he already owns 39% of Sky anyway.

2
0

HBO slaps takedown demand on 13-year-old girl's painting because it used 'Winter is coming'

Shades
Mushroom

F*ck you HBO

Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming. Winter is coming.

What you going to do about that c*nts?

7
0

Trump's torture support could mean the end of GCHQ-NSA relationship

Shades

Re: I despair

First chimp?

*cough* Bush *cough*

7
0

Drone idiots are still endangering real aircraft and breaking the rules

Shades

Re: Bit miffed and surprised

Bit miffed that you felt the need to locate Welshpool as being "30 miles west of Birmingham"

It would have been far more accurate to say Welshpool is 17 miles west of Shrewsbury, as that is probably the closest large place of reference. I trust most El Reg readers are intelligent enough to have heard of Shrewsbury?

0
1

Virtual reality is actually made of smartphones

Shades
Facepalm

I didn't think it was possible...

... to give a dead, presumably cremated, person a blowjob, but here it is!

What the fuck is this drivel on El Reg?

5
0

Apple to automatically cram macOS Sierra into Macs – 'cos that worked well for Windows 10

Shades
Stop

Re: This is a much smaller update than going from Windows 7 to Windows 10

"[blah blah] '2D FLUGLY' [blah blah]"

Pardon me but I'm having difficulty working out if you're 12 or 102? You keep banging on about Windows 10 being '2D FLUGLY', at every tenuous opportunity, but what I think you actually mean is that its not to your taste. Skeuomorphic design has, I'm afraid, served its purpose and its day is done. It made sense when computers were just emerging into the home and there were whole generations who needed an illustration of a button to know something was a button and could be clicked upon, but we've moved way beyond that now.

Kids, even toddlers, pick up on how tablets and phones work with ease and after being shown a few things it doesn't take them long to suss out how to navigate their way around a phone/tablet to their favourite games or get to their favourite websites on their own. Similarly, my grandparents, both in their 80s, have Android phones and barring showing them how to get to a few settings I've never had to show them how to use their phones. Granted this is probably due, in part, to things like the skeuomorphic interface of Windows 7, but I'm fairly confident that they could now switch from Windows 7 to 10 on their computers and, conversely due to Android, have no problems doing the stuff they currently do.

For what its worth I think skeuomorphic interfaces are awful (I actively avoided Windows 7 because of Aero) but I've never felt the need to keep banging on and on (and on and on and on) about it being "flugly". I quietly avoided it (Windows 7), merrily got on with my day and didn't sound like I haven't progressed beyond having a tantrum simply because something isn't to my taste. Its not as though there aren't solutions to your "complaint" either. Pick one of them and get on with the more important things in life before you give yourself an ulcer or something!

By the way, I think your caps-lock key has an intermittent fault.

16
19

Samsung: And for my next trick – exploding WASHING MACHINES

Shades

Re: Yay, another thing to worry about in life!

"Until I saw this article I'd never considered a washing machine catching fire as a real possibility other than a freak accident"

I'm guessing you're not from the UK then?

http://www.itv.com/news/central/2016-05-16/fire-chief-warns-of-killer-washing-machines-after-254-fires-in-one-year/

3
0

The server's down. At 3AM. On Christmas. You're drunk. So you put a disk in the freezer

Shades

Re: Further screw-driver acrobatics

I can vouch (sort of) for that kind of hackery... I had a slot loading DVD-ROM drive, back before most non-nerdy people knew DVD was a thing*, which eventually required a "bump start" to get it going; A quick push with a thin, but not sharp, object was enough to get it spinning and it survived like that for years.

* I think even I only had 1 DVD movie for years though as they were still ridiculously expensive.

1
0

Page:

The Register - Independent news and views for the tech community. Part of Situation Publishing