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* Posts by Boris the Cockroach

1708 posts • joined 10 Mar 2008

Brit tech forges alliance to improve cyber security as MPs moan over 'acute scarcity' of experts

Boris the Cockroach
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How about

we are short of <buzzword> techie experts, but we dont want to pay them the going rate, nor do we want the costs of training them, and we want them now.

Cue a call to immigration and get them on the fast track visa system along with all the other techie/skilled trades we are short of for exactly the same reasons as listed above.

But who wants to go into security when a lucky break for you (and your employer) means that you cracked a malware, disabled it completely, and you get invited to speak at a cyber-security conference in the US and get fingered by the feds for posting some code up on the internet that got put into some other mal-ware......

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Trump wants to work with Russia on infosec. Security experts: lol no

Boris the Cockroach
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Mushroom

Re: Tee hee. Trump is to Putin as --

Quote

"Another reason the USA might consider the EU to be taking the piss is that the USA is obliged by treaty through NATO to militarily defend what are primarily EU nations, quite a few of which then massively neglect their military establishment"

How much were the lives lost in the NATO mission to Afganistan worth then?

How much was each of the 400 UK lives worth?

How much was each of the 60 odd Germans lives worth? the canadians.. the french, the aussies? even the danish took some

And the wounded/injured?

Then look me in the eye and wittle on about how NATO countries dont contribute..

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Brits whinging less? About ISPs, networks and TV? It's gotta be a glitch in the Matrix

Boris the Cockroach
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Flame

Re: A better informed and empowered customer base?

Quote

Or they have given up complaining and just accept tthings are they way they are with no hope of resolution.

This one...... have you ever spent time calling the ISP's helpline?

Then listening to 'John' or 'Sandra' repeat word for word the script in front of them with no deviation

"Have you turned it off and on?" "Is your computer switched on?" "Have you checked the plugs?"

And so on and so on for 15 minutes until you say that your PC is using linux where upon they say "we dont support linux" and you add "but I'm using a belkin router connected to your superhup and the superthub in modem mode only" and they transfer you to that call center in Scotland who seem to be able to resolve the problem in about 30 seconds....

Which makes you think "why dont they just connect you there in the first place!"

Go through that 3 or 4 times and you give up on the ISP's helpline and use google via your phone.....

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It walks, it talks, it falls over a bit. Windows 10 is three years old

Boris the Cockroach
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Windows

Window 10

can be summed up quite nicely with

"No matter how well you polish..... its stull a turd"

<<hiding from the works laptops that have win 10 on them..

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US drug cops snared crooks with pre-cracked BlackBerry mobes – and that's just the start

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

Re: Illicit drugs and Alcohol/Tobacco

I cant upvote this enough

Having seen what heroin addiction does to somebody, lie cheat and mostly go out stealing just to fund the next fix(and if she couldn't do that there was always selling herself to fund it)

"But you'll make everyone a junky!!!" comes the scream

Given how much booze there is available... how many of us posting here are dependent on booze, and how many are addicts?

Make heroin available on prescription and you'll kill off the illegal trade for a start, plus the addicts will have a clean supply (vital if injecting..... blergh) plus be known and will have access to councelling/treatment to get them off the stuff in the first place.

Make cannabis legal to sell under licence and you'll get rid of the crims from that trade and be able to remove the super 'skunk' strength crap as well.

Perhaps throw in education too... "hey kids , drugs dont solve your problems"

And we might free the police//justice system to concentrate on the real problems.... like abusing RIPA to find out who lets their dog shit on the village green every day....

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Cancelled in Crawley? At least your train has free Wi-Fi now, right?

Boris the Cockroach
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Unhappy

I'd be glad

If they took the fareday cage concept further and used it to block all mobile signals in and out of the train.

At least I'd be able to snooze away quietly without 40 demented morons shouting "I'm in the train" every 30 seconds .......

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Welsh firm fined £60k for pummelling phones with 270k pay-day loan texts

Boris the Cockroach
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Devil

Re: Hmm

Theres always a big plus for MK in my book... at least its not Swindon

Boris

<<<< has been dead and that was more fun that Swindon

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When Google's robots give your business the death sentence – who you gonna call?

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Yet another example of social entropy.

But how do I get the suckers.. err customers to buy the latest shiney shiney crap?

But we should thank the late DNA for this quote

"Customers who overcame the superficial designs flaws were so happy with the product that they never noticed the fundamental design flaws with the product"

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Automated payment machines do NOT work the same all over the world – as I found out

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: English?

And did Cthulu arrive to destroy Paris?

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HP Ink's UK profits tumble nearly 85% – of course Brexit to blame

Boris the Cockroach
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The reason

the profitsd dipped due to 'admin expenses' is more than likely due to the company having a profit sharing scheme if profits were over a certain %

HP then created the 'admin expenses' item so that overall profits were reduced by the payment % but still kept all the cash.

<<used to work for a company that tried that accounting trick once to avoid the profit share.... was very hard for them to make any money when the entire staff went on strike including the plant manager (who dipped out on 10K)

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Galileo, here we go again. My my, the Brits are gonna miss EU

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Heres the

one thing that fascinates me

About this whole eu or not eu question.

Airbus threatened to pull the wing making plant out of the UK and re-locate it to somewhere (most likely France) in europe.

11 000 jobs gone.. poof.

Only thing that makes me wonder is..... Airbus will stop recieving wings on brexit day. so unless they get on building the new wing plant PDQ they're going to have rather a lot of airplanes with no wings (and thats before you get into things like training the new workforce, and qualifying the plant to produce wings that dont fall apart on the ground or in the air).

And that airbus are quite happy to have stuff made for them in China and the US.

Its an attempt to get the twats in charge to actually work out a deal before the date (mind you I wouldn't trust the tories to be able to hold a piss up in a brewery, and the EU to be able to even FIND the brewery in first place... which is why they want Galileo in the first place)

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UK Foreign Office offers Assange a doctor if he leaves Ecuador embassy

Boris the Cockroach
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And

that would be the worst punishment of all for him

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Get a grip, literally: Clumsy robots can't nab humans' jobs just yet

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Screw the people this will put out of work then.

Quote

Robotic strawberry picking is under development and will get a boost if the farmers want to keep their farms in the UK.

And as a plus point to all the economic voodoo artists out there. that will mean that productivity per person will increase too.

Which leads to the final point of automation......... when will it spread to the upper layers of manglement?

I mean that gotta be easy.

Profits down... fire 10% of the work force

Profits up : increase manglement bonus

Share price down : Launch buy back scheme

Possible insider trading scam : sell all personal shares and resign

Criminal charges relating to misuse of company pension funds : jump off company boat while moored off the Azores

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Happy birthday, you lumbering MS-DOS-based mess: Windows 98 turns 20 today

Boris the Cockroach
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Alert

Ekkkk

All that talk of win 95 and win 98 has set off my PTSD

Be quiet or I'll take you all back to .dll hell with me !

Ah yes the joys of when windows did'nt protect their key files and some random program decides to overwrite a .dll with an older one that does'nt support anything win98 throws at it........ and your PC is dead.

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Do UK.gov wonks understand sci-tech skills gap? MPs dish out Parliamentary kicking

Boris the Cockroach
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Flame

Perhaps

it would be better if the Mps et al were made aware of how much skill and knowledge it takes to produce stuff nowadays.

Sure we still have unskilled operators ... 8 of them , however 1 of them wants to convert to being one of the STEM type people the robot/machine setters are... so we gave him a list

We'll start with

PC literate(and that doesn't mean being able to open a mS doc)

Able to learn the CAM system used

Able to set 5 axis machine tools. fun (not)

Make sure the robots are loaded with the correct programs.

Run through the cycle safely diagnosing any faults and correcting them

A large knowledge of material properties, cutter properties and the proper use of both will be handy

Along with the ability to design setups from 'heres the back of a fag packet' all the way upto a functioning machine tool cell making 30 widgets a minute, or a £25 000 one off tool plate thats needed 3 days ago

Oh and the pay.... 25K if you're lucky .. maybe 32k if you do 50hr+ weeks

In other words, just like every other STEM job out there.... a huge amount of knowledge needed just to be able to do it, combined with a shite amount of pay(and a fair amount of stress... because its always the techies fault something is late/does'nt work, not the highly regarded PHB who hasnt a fucking clue how to do his job)

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BOFH: Is everybody ready for the meeting? Grab a crayon – let's get technical

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: "I prefer not to answer that but suggest you wear gloves to work."

I suspect expert window lock tester is coming up in his future at some point.....

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JURI's out, Euro copyright votes in: Whoa, did the EU just 'break the internet'?

Boris the Cockroach
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Unhappy

On the plus side

no more of those downfall parodies where Hitler has his subtitles replaced..

Maybe that was the cause...... knowing that the great unwashed could take video of the great and worthy and make them look like utter chumps (instead of them actually proving they are utter chumps...)

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Pwned with '4 lines of code': Researchers warn SCADA systems are still hopelessly insecure

Boris the Cockroach
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4 lines of code?

Heck I could do 250k worth of damage just by changing a + into a -

Might be extremely dangerous to the operator.. or some other poor guy standing by the machine.. but who cares, I'm 5000 miles away in darkest <insert the name of this week's enemy>

And thats by owning the machine used to store the robot programs......... which is why its wi-fi is turned off..... and a big notice saying "DO NOT CONNECT THISLAPTOP OR THE MACHINES TO THE NETWORK" is over it.

And before the "update update update and you'll be safe" crowd arrive, the machines have notices in the manuals saying "The OS should not be updated and machine manufacturer bears no responsibility if the OS is updated and the machine breaks down/goes mad and kills everyone"

So either security is baked into the controls from the start, or you air gap

Mind you, put the wrong command into the robot's PLC and it goes on a killing spree anyway

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'No, we are not rewriting Office in JavaScript' and other Microsoft tales

Boris the Cockroach
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Trollface

Re: Emacs

Coding is easy

Its the testing thats a bastard

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Strip Capita of defence IT contract unless things improve – Brit MPs

Boris the Cockroach
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Unhappy

That

extra R is being well earned by Capita

Can someone explain why , given their past failures, we keep throwing work to them?

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Office 365 celebrates National Beer Day by popping out for a pint

Boris the Cockroach
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Happy

Re: the service has slowed to a crawl or stopped altogether.

Is the m$ cheif problem solver a guy named "Bester" by any chance?

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Microsoft loves Linux so much its R Open install script rm'd /bin/sh

Boris the Cockroach
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Joke

I'm surprised

it didnt end with

rm ./ -r

Install win10 -y

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UK.gov online dating tips: Do get consent, don't make false claims or fake profiles

Boris the Cockroach
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Happy

Re: Mad

Can you post a picture

Of her truck ?

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First A380 flown in anger to be broken up for parts

Boris the Cockroach
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Quote:

As usual, the aircraft which puts passenger comfort at the forefront is the one that airlines don't want to use ...

The aircraft the airlines want to use are governed by the equation of passenger miles per gallon of jetfuel + landing charges/number of passengers.

So if its 10 quid cheaper to stuff 300 people into a pair of 777s rather than 600 in a 380 , they will.

After all.. airlines are run by accountants and they NEVER fly cattle class....

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Tech rookie put decimal point in wrong place, cost insurer zillions

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Hampshire? rich??

Come to Portsmouth and say that in Paulsgrove/Somerstown areas... or Southampton's St Mary's district for example....

And as for "whaaa northern rail does'nt get any money" come to waterloo and try the pompey express... 1 hour 25 mins to go 65 miles........ that is if the infrastructure/trains does'nt fall over somewhere and block the system up (usually in south London).

Anyway , back to the topic of the mis-placed decimal point, one of my former collegues at a previous employer did that.... moved the robot's reference point 150mm instead of 15mm....

Only did £25 000 of damage ...... with a very loud bang.... the machine was going 2500rpm when the arm hit....

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Watchdog slams TSB boss for underplaying extent of IT meltdown

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Same old.

Quote:

It will be interesting if the MP's get to anything that seems like a plausible truth though....

Only if MPs were affected by it..............

If only the proles were... who cares.... make the chair of the committee a director and give him/her a fat pay check and its no action beyond a token slap on the wrist followed by trebles all round..

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Nadella tells worried GitHub devs: Judge us by our actions

Boris the Cockroach
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Mushroom

Re: "trust us"

I'm bitching because m$ had a damn good product (eventually) in windows 7, a decent UI, not too shabby in the kernal, and way more stable in use than vista or Xp had been.

And what happened? they threw all that out of the window with win8 which nobody wanted, then decided to go "You WILL have win10 whether you want it or not"

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Boris the Cockroach
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Linux

"trust us"

Yeah right..... the people that rammed win 10 into your PC even when you said "nay nay and thrice nay"

Or when updating the OS the other day decided to switch the verbal assistant back on....... how long was that listening to the in-company chat before it decided to speak up with "you are having trouble finding file AX-blah blah... would you like me to find it?" while I was typing in the search bar...

And as a final note, I'd love the names and addresses of all those m$ insiders who loved the win 10 UI so much that m$ made it standard... so I could go show everyone else's 'appreciation' for their hard work...

yeah I'm off to linux land...

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Four hydrogen + eight caesium clocks = one almost-proven Einstein theory

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Re: This is why science rocks

And I'm still waiting for the homoeopathic cure for a 90% blocked heart artery......

Also... is it any good for multiple leg and knee fractures or do I have to use healing crystals for that?

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DIYers rejoice: Hitting stuff to make it work even works in space

Boris the Cockroach
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Devil

Us technical/engineering

already have that hard pad for percussive maintenence of equipment and as a plus, we develop hardened pads over our knuckles too for applying percussive maintenence to the idiot that broke the equipment in the first place

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Is Microsoft about to git-merge with GitHub? Rumors suggest: Yes

Boris the Cockroach
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Windows

Perhaps its a new

way for m$ to get code after slurping all those 'free' github projects.

Looking for the worst , most buggy and unsecured way of doing anything within windows and then slurping it into the windows code base....

What else explains win 10 ?

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TSB meltdown latest: Facepalming reaches critical mass as Brits get strangers' bank letters

Boris the Cockroach
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In your situation I would be going back tommorrow to close the accounts....

<<<waiting for the banks he has money in to go TITSUP

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Select few to watch World Cup in 4K high dynamic range colour on BBC iPlayer

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

Re: Recap

You missed out the 5 mins of a player rolling around in agony after tripping over his own bootlaces (10 mins if trying to get an opposing team member sent off)

Or you could watch rugby instead where someone with a broken leg is rubbed down with a magic sponge and told to favour the other leg...

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Trump’s new ZTE tweet trumps old ZTE tweets that trumped his first ZTE tweet

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

Re: "But that’s democracy for you - it’s flawed, but better than any alternative"

Yes how dare the population of your listed countries vote for a leader/party that will give them what they wanted..... although Venezuela is a little different because the government had already banned the leading opposition candidate from standing along with any media that doesn't follow the government line...

But from my point of view (and remember I'm from the 1980's... the good old days of baggie snatcher and 4 million unemployed), any government can be got rid of by democracy, democracy only dies when you get a group of people who say "We know better than the plebs and the plebs will vote the way we tell them to".... rather like the way Venezuela has already gone.......

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BOFH: Their bright orange plumage warns other species, 'Back off! I'm dangerous!'

Boris the Cockroach
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Pint

After

a foul day involving mindless customers, a brainless (and very nearly dead) apprentice and a manager who believes in the 'seagull' method of management, a decent BOFH is just what I needed.. along with one of these >>>>

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Microsoft gives users options for Office data slurpage – Basic or Full

Boris the Cockroach
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Mushroom

Well it looks like

the next PC purchased for use at Roach towers will be a dual boot win10/ linux mint thing (mostly likely from Novatech) with the majority of the time spent in mint.... and win10 for gaming only.

If only because I want the the only data m$ slurps from me to be about how many kerbals I've just killed....

KSP icon......

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Ongoing game of Galileo chicken goes up a notch as the UK talks refunds

Boris the Cockroach
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Facepalm

More likely

is the the mid level diplomats are currently haggling out a solution along the lines of

"The UK pay X billions to the EU to use all parts of the system while the EU pays the UK X billions to licence the UK's technologies and assets used in the system"

But then that will not generate the same demeaning and sensational headlines to be used by the media...

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Microsoft, Google: We've found a fourth data-leaking Meltdown-Spectre CPU hole

Boris the Cockroach
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FAIL

Its quite depressing really

we have 1000's of people with the smarts in CPU design.... and things like this pop out.

And not only pop out in Intel chips.. but everything else out there too.

Almost as if they are all copying each other.......

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Blood spilled from another US high school shooting has yet to dry – and video games are already being blamed

Boris the Cockroach
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IT Angle

Re: It really is stunning

Quote

yet five million NRA members can hold 350 million hostages just to get what THEY want. A majority of Americans are for stricter gun control, background checks, mental heath screening.

The heart of the problem is that congressional districts are now so gerrymandered that the primary threat to a sitting congress critter is not the opposing party, but his/her own party.

Suppose a republican congresscritter makes a speach advocating some sort of gun control.

You can be sure that the NRA et al will be calling every republican voter in the district to support their candidate to unseat the current guy.

and its usually the dedicated political people who vote in the primaries that throw out the reasonable candidates and replace them with idiots like..... trump for example

"A well regulated milita" well they had a supreme court ruling that the militia is the citzens of the USA, so lets do the first 3 words....

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Want to know what an organisation is really like? Visit the restroom

Boris the Cockroach
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Re: Had you just happened to hit the executive facility?

Quote

Amongst the instructions "Please leave these facilities as you would expect to find them" is a common one. The differences you note are the consequence of differing expectations.

I wonder if the people who leave huge great steamers unflushed in the company bogs and rolls of used toilet paper in the sink either do the same thing at home or they let someone else leave their home bog in that state.....

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NASA fix for Curiosity rovers's damaged drill: hitting it, repeatedly

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Devil

Quote

ALL good engineers can be distinguished by their extensive collection of purpose built hammers.

And you're not a real engineer until you have one labeled "Apprentice improvement stick"

Boris

<<currently wanting to 'improve' his apprentice after the dumb s*** did'nt follow the power lockout rules...

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America's forgotten space station and a mission tinged with urine, we salute you

Boris the Cockroach
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Thumb Up

Re: Further reading

I have that book on my bookshelf....

Goes into details behind the strike and what really happened.

Mission control sending 16 hrs of work up on a list to be done at a rate of knots because that was how the apollo and previous missions were worked......... but the guys were trying to cope with finding stuff and getting stuff setup for the day while ground control bitched at them for being slower than the previous crew.

Does this remind you of anything?

No wonder they stuck 2 fingers up at ground control and went off and did their own thing....

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Latest from the coming AI robot apocalypse: we're going to be fine

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Terminator

Ordering

pizza is all well and fine

Using a customer's data set would result in "would you like the pizza you ordered last thursday, or would you prefer something different like last tuesday?" or "Pepperoni with chillis as you are by yourself, or ham and pineapple as you are with a companion today"

What we dont want is the military getting their hands on it and installing it in the new ED-209 drone fleet.

"Drones... kill the enemy"

"Identify"

"Kill all the people"<incoming round kills the operator>

"Aye sir , Killing all the people"

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You've got pr0n: Yes, smut by email is latest workaround for UK's looming cock block

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Facepalm

Its the school nerd's lucky day

Scene: a playground

Bully #1 : I'm bored... lets go kick the snot out of timmy the nerd

Bully #2 : No way you touching him... he knows howto setup a tor node and a VPN to bypass the great british smut filter

Bully #1 : Great!.... no more stealing my dad's credit card

Bully #2: Hey nerd... set #1 up with a VPN

Nerd: Sure thing.. thats a weeks pocket money ..

Bully #1: Heres £25 quid..

More seriously, this is a dry run... a setup with "think of the children" plastered all over it to make sure it works.... and then the mission creep starts..... age IDs for accessing on-line games stores such as Steam etc.... then no more accessing Russia today.. or Times of India.... or Al-jazzera(apologies for spelling)

Until finally we're left with a santised approved internet free of trolls,hate speech and annoying truths.

While everyone gets their smut via IRC and FTP sites.............

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Date engraved onto net neutrality tombstone: June 11, 2018

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Senate Vote

I got as far as the first 'demon-rats' before deciding hes either a troll or mad........ or both

But as you wave goodbye to net neutrality.

Remember this...... all those huge internet companies that we use all benefited from net neutrality in getting started.

Where would netflix be and the shows on it if it had been blocked/throttled/charged an extra $100/month per customer for access to commcasts network....

while commcast charged $75/month for customers to access its own inferior streaming service....

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Peak smartphone? Phone fatigue hits Western Europe hard

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Oldy but Goody

My old S2 still works... and I'd prefer it too.

Ok the battery is a bit knacked, but the killing feature is the phone only charges with one cable because the socket is worn out...

Hence a galaxy J3 replaced it because thats the smallest smart phone I could find.

And if it lasts 5 yrs like the last one I'll be happy

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T-Mobile owner sends in legal heavies to lean on small Brit biz over use of 'trademarked' magenta

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge

Alternately, we can all just use a little bit of common sense.

These are lawyers we are talking about here, not grown ups

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I've got way too much cash, thinks Jeff Bezos. Hmmm, pay more tax? Pay staff more? Nah, let's just go into space

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Flame

Re: Another economically illterate article....

what a complete pile of horse shit....

I'll pull one quote out

" A better education has historically been key to that. Fucking about in school instead of knuckling down and learning has consequences, some of which are life long; those people don't deserve pity because they chose their life. ."

I work with min wage people...... most are unqualified, they are not unqualified and uneducated because they fucked about at school, they are what they are because they are not suited to an academic type life, dropping well below the mean intelligence level, but they can work hard and do a good job (ok 1 does'nt but hey ho)

Does that mean they should be doomed to a min wage life with welfare payments on top?

or unemployment with more welfare?

And what happens when your lack of pity for those caught in a dire situation comes back to bite you.... either when the poor unemployed min wagers rise up and take everything that is yours or if circumstances such as ill health or unemployment force you down to their level.....

Boris

<<has been poor, ill and unemployed before

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Virgin Media to chop 800 jobs in Wales call centre

Boris the Cockroach
Silver badge
Unhappy

You're forgetting one very important thing

The managers wont be able to walk around the floor micro-managing every call, and timing how long it takes you to read the script back to the customer.

Not forgetting of course making sure only 3 staff out of 300 can be in the toilet at the same time and all the other things the power mad idiots get upto.

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BOFH: But I did log in to the portal, Dave

Boris the Cockroach
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Windows

Re: GAH!

Quote:

I'm sure I got PTSD from dealing with the Oracle support site!

And this article brought back all those PTSD memories I've been suppressing all these years........

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