* Posts by Gilbert Wham

408 publicly visible posts • joined 6 Apr 2007

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Google mounts Chewbacca defense in EU privacy debate

Gilbert Wham

@George Schultz

"So how doesone fake an IP? Is it easier to do in IPv6?"

http://anonymityanywhere.com/

Former HP boss in the dock over call centre murder

Gilbert Wham
Alert

How come...

...when I've had a shitty call-centre job in the UK, no bugger picked me up & drove me to work? Eh? Eh?

Comcast: Our BitTorrent busting is 'best in class'

Gilbert Wham

@Chris:

"If BT ever did anything like that I would suggest to every one on there[sic] network to move."

BT _do_ shape traffic, believe me. They won't admit it, but I have it from someone who works there that they do. Plus, from my own experience, uTorrent got 30K/sec maxthrough BT, but now gets 800+ through a sensible ISP (I know, I know, that's about as anecdotal as evidence gets, but even through VERY well-seeded trackers, BT maxed at 30K, and the same torrent after the switch flew). Plus, they are the British Leyland of UK ISPs. Fuck 'em.

MS bundles Vista SP1 and Server 2008 out the door

Gilbert Wham

@MordETH

"Do you seriously believe that the drivers do some sort of Mission: Impossible self-destruct?"

What, _HP_ printers? Yes. Yes I do.

Model checkers get Turing Prize

Gilbert Wham

Bah.'Test'

I got all excited there for a minute too.

Scientists warn on climatic 'tipping points'

Gilbert Wham

@ Really Scary Stuff

"Yes, there are still people out there who think that the 'greater good' requires that a few people thinking the right kind of thoughts should have control over everyone and force radical change on them. You'd have thought that all the other times this has happened would have proved it isn't a good idea..."

This is how it's _always_ been. Which is the reason why a desire for high political office ought to be a one-way ticket to the booby-hatch.

I have a dream: One where high office is thrust upon the unsuspecting, much like jury service (let's face it, they couldn't do much *worse*).

Upon completing your term of office, a referendum is held, the result of which decides whether you are allowed to go back to your old life, with a small stipend as a thank-you and maybe a grace-and favour house (nothing fancy mind), or be sentenced to spend the rest of your days as a vagrant, with the words 'Bad President' tattooed on your forehead.

Granted, some kinks need working out, obstructionists may have to be 'removed' to smooth the transition to our New World Order, but the basic plan is sound, I'm sure of it.

No apologies for off-topicness, this is Serious Revolutionary Business...

Remembering the Coleco Adam

Gilbert Wham

@Andy

"Part of me wants to write a new O/S for the Spectrum, just to see what modern techniques could squeeze out of the thing, but then I remember I'm trying to have a life."

Life? Fuck that shit. Do it. Then publish your results.

Local copper: Met secret police requested MP bugging

Gilbert Wham
Stop

@Enjoy your Jihad

But, but, but... A few years ago, when the people Hating Your Freedoms were the pencil-pushers with microphones, and the 'bloodthirsty third-world savages' were heroic freedom-fighters in the mountains of Afghanistan, what then?

Of course, in Mud Island at that time, our pencil-ushers with microphones were all busy bugging NUM meetings and fitting up random Irishmen for crimes they hadn't committed and yours (I am assuming you are from the Revolted Colonies) were busy with the whole Iran/Contra thing.

Plus ca change...

Hamster-in-rain emergency prompts 999 call

Gilbert Wham

well...

> Putting a hamster out in the rain is animal cruelty.

So you think that in the wild they have little wellies, plastic macs and sou'westers?

No, but they do live in the desert...

IPS leak suggests ID card fingerprint chop

Gilbert Wham
IT Angle

ITV????

"ITV manage to get the SMS network to respond fast enough for voting on "Dancing on ICE""

The fact that ITV can do this*, in no way means that the government can. Do be serious.

*Unless they just pretended to and made the numbers up, of course*

*which I'm sure the government CAN do...

MP calls for law to force online shops to verify customer age

Gilbert Wham

And I quote:

"Using the card, Zach was able to order XXX porn videos from Amazon, and knives from Tesco that were delivered to his home where he signed for them personally. Oddbins delivered some Vodka to his house, and apparently William Hill let him bet £10 on a football match,"

Sounds to me like he had a pretty good day.

Tiscali hits 'undo' after bandwidth throttling chokes iTunes

Gilbert Wham

@anna log:

The fact is, whoever you were talking to would not have had a clue what this 'port blocking' is...

Also, I'll second Entanet; if you can't get Be, get Entanet. No shaping, no blocking, no contract and upfront bandwidth usage figures. Cheap(ish) too.

Remembering the Commodore SX-64

Gilbert Wham

Hmmmmm...

Being as a C64 is about the size of my PC keyboard, and probably not much heavier, a better plan would have been to take that, and a 7" portable TV.

I still want one, though. Obviously.

Germans send teen tearaway to Siberia

Gilbert Wham
Stop

Halte!

"Thinking about it, UK has plenty of wonderful islands off the coast of Scotland"

Yes. Yes, it does. Plz to not misguidedly fill them up with pikeys.

Beeb confirms iPlayer streaming dominance

Gilbert Wham

"There is no cross platform download option"

Mininova.

AT&T to crush copyrighted network packets

Gilbert Wham

Bugger-All-Money

"It is time for a mass campaign of civil disobedience - anyone, everyone with a personal website should contact AT+T and ask them to filter this content as it goes onto their network. Impose bizarre and unworkable conditions. (... And *this* page is licensed only for IP addresses where the four values are solutions of this Diophantine equation...)

How will they deal with this? How can they argue that your copyright is somehow unimportant, when the pre-eminence of copyright is their whole argument?"

They will say, 'Because you do not have any money. Now fuck off, lawyerless peon.'

Also, on a side note, I have a statement for some of you: It is 'LOSE' not 'LOOSE'. For fuck's sake. Please do not make me tell you again.

I am convinced this spelling mistake is entirely the internet's fault. If I could, I would go back in time and ensure that the first network packets were a vehement diatribe on the misuse of the word 'loose'. Not that it would do any good, but at least I'd feel better.

And yes, I AM drunk. What of it, you boot-faced puritans?

Hannah Montana fails to defy laws of physics

Gilbert Wham
Stop

More importantly

Whilst it may be excusable to use a stand-in for part of your dreadful stage act, the thing that is being forgotten here is that the shame of Billy-Ray Cyrus's music should echo down the generations of his family, and they should be forced to atone for the horrors he inflicted on us. Maybe some sort of legislation can be pushed through by the Hague?

Junkie sues pusher over heart attack

Gilbert Wham

Re 'read the article'

The 'scumbag dealer who sells to 13-year olds' was, as he was her school classmate, probably 13 at the time as well. And, most likely, not dealing, but procuring for friends. Anyway, who the fuck do you think a 13 year-old dealer IS going to sell to? That's right; other 13 year-olds. Most street level dealers are doing it merely to support their own habits.

It's her own fault. If you have a drug habit, it's your fault. I had one, it was my fault. I got rid of it. Before I did, I nearly killed myself via overdoses on several occasions. They were my fault as well. 'What's this gear like?'

'Really fucking strong, mate.'

'Excellent, I'll take two bags please.'

*cook up, shoot up, turn blue, fall over, wake up to be told about mouth-to-mouth, panic,etc.*

'Waaaaah! I'm gonna sue!'

Er, no. My fault, you see.

Want faster broadband soon? Move to Kent, says BT

Gilbert Wham

Want faster broadband soon?

Not from bloody BT I don't...

Government piles filesharing pressure on UK ISPs

Gilbert Wham

I'll be fascinated to see...

...exactly how this is going to work. All one need do if they block p2p protocols is spend 10 euros a month on a seedbox somewhere else, use that to do the transfers and pull what you want off over a VPN. Or, wait a few weeks for some enterprising soul to come up with a new app that makes a mockery of all their efforts.

Former beauty queen cuffed for torturing ex

Gilbert Wham
Coat

Job opportunity

""a promising first- or second-year law student who hopes to go into entertainment law"."

Kidnap and torture sounds like good practice. She can get a job with the MPAA/RIAA no bother with a CV like that...

MasterCard's Maestro struggles to cope with Xmas

Gilbert Wham

I'm Spartacus!

Yup, my Yorkshire Bank Maestro stopped working on the 21st. As did everyone's in front, and quite possibly behind, me in the bank queue as they all too appeared to be in there to say 'Excuse me, but WTF?' So quite a large problem say I.

Wishing you an EMF-free Christmas

Gilbert Wham
Coat

O RLY?

"...but also [protects] from other negative energies like fear and doubt - even the negative thoughts of others!" Vodka usually provides a similar sensation...

Plunging player prices to reveal Blu-ray vs HD DVD winner?

Gilbert Wham

'Format clarity' coming in 2008', says analyst

"Physical media to be dead in the water shortly afterwards", says rest of world.

Samsung YP-T10 4GB MP3 player

Gilbert Wham

Ogg Schmogg

No FLAC? Bah.

Tiger Team brings haxploitation to TV

Gilbert Wham

TV shows about reading post-it notes and coffee stained spam faxes?

So, you've seen Court TV then?

Peter Jackson to lord over 'Rings' prequels

Gilbert Wham

@Lotaresco

Ssssshhhhh! Fuck's sake, don't tell them about the Silmarillion! How long d'you think Jackson could spin that one out for?

Truth, anonymity and the Wikipedia Way

Gilbert Wham

@Paul Gray

"Now here is a question I do wonder - what is the average IQ on the internet? Given that due to its nature and definition of use/access (even dumbed down access) it does tend towards people in the upper 50% of intelligence, does it not!"

Amusingly garbled grammar aside, are you fucking nuts? Read some YouTube comments say, then reassess the above statement.

Space brains resign over efforts to attract ET attention

Gilbert Wham
Alien

They are already on their way...

...and have been monitoring our transmissions as they come. I know this, as I have been communicating with them via a sub-space radio of my own devising. They are most worried to hear that there will not be a sixth season of The Wire. The phrase 'Merciless rain of death from the heavens' was used.

I only hope this message gets to the right people in time...

US woman launches 'Taserware' parties

Gilbert Wham

@ Richard Scratcher

You missed a loose/lose further up too...

Orange France says 'testicules' to unlocked-iPhone-not-unlocked claim

Gilbert Wham

@mohan Paul

Because, sadly, it is not yet possible to be a citizen of Mr Lee's Greater Hong Kong...

Megan's Law snafu fingered in rapist's murder

Gilbert Wham
Coat

Good, bad, or ugly?

"We already have the highest rate of incarceration in the U.S., as opposed to other countries. Are U.S.ians just better criminals?"

Er, no. Because they're locked up, they're not counted as good criminals you see. They're a bit rubbish, really, what with the getting caught and all...

UK.gov loses driver ID data

Gilbert Wham

@ Chris G...

...living in the sun would be enough to keep me living in the sun. The fact that Mud Island is run by demented assclowns has not, and will never change. It's the damp that really gets to you...

Europe too cynical for iPhone

Gilbert Wham

Plus ca change...

"Overall, yeah, it looks ok. Wonderful. But it doesn't do the job, is poor value for money, and costs a damned sight more here than it does in other places" And, surprisingly, this description is of an object with 'Apple' written on it. And I *have* used one. Did a stint with Apple as a hell-desk operator (they are appalling people to work for, at least at the bottom of the pile), so I saw it before quite a lot of people did.

I maintained at the time that people wouldn't go for it in Europe, as we're used to free handsets and shorter contracts (note that with most of the 18m contracts, you can still upgrade at 12 months, at the expense of a continued lock-in). Aaaaaaand, I was right! Excellent.

Codemasters sets legal dogs on file-sharers

Gilbert Wham

More to the point...

...am I missing something here, do people actually D/L multi-gig files over direct P2P connections? Egad.

Secret mailing list rocks Wikipedia

Gilbert Wham

Awesome...

.."obscene trolling [and] free range sarcasm and troublemaking."

Fantastic. I am going to put that on my resumé under 'Hobbies & Interests'.

BTW, why does the Developer comments section remember my details, yet this one requires me to log in every time? It's very annoying.

US woman fingered for Porky Pig drugs outrage

Gilbert Wham

For those that haven't seen it:

There's only one acceptable format for your kid's name.

Clicketty: http://xkcd.com/327/

Commuters shouting into their mobiles? Just jam 'em

Gilbert Wham
Flame

My response to Colonel Blimp and his jammer...

...is 'fuck you'. For the simple reason that I would quite like to have my phone working when I'm traveling somewhere, so that I can be contacted by my daughter or her school if she has a problem. Or if my sick grandmother takes a turn for the worse. Or for that matter, to ring up and tell the person with whom I am to meet that the train is inevitably malfunctioning in some non-specific way and I will be late. If you are annoyed by people talking to each other, don't go outside. Wanker.

Apropos the *real* problem of checky-hatted little brutes playing happy hardcore at full volume on their phones, simply threaten them with violence if they don't turn it off. Works for me, but YMMV (you could get the driver of your conveyance to remove them if they won't stop, I suppose).

UK gov bans 'terror' suspect from science class

Gilbert Wham
Thumb Down

@ Risky:

"I have this weird idea that thare(sic) are people trying to blow me up "

You're right. That is a weird idea. You should probably talk to someone about that. There may be some help you can get. Tablets and such, to make the feelings go away.

Senior officials now in frame for HMRC data fiasco

Gilbert Wham

@Phil Endecott:

Why didn't he run the script, then just *look* like he was doing it manually & give them the info piecemeal?

Pressure group: perverts will use tech to track your kids

Gilbert Wham

Huh?

"These "Won't somebody think of the children!" types really get on my tits." (I put the 'i' back in for you).

Sorry, *which* ones get on your tits? The ones saying we should track them everywhere and have them give a DNA sample just to buy lunch, or the ones who think this is a foolish idea?

Drink rats' milk, suggests battling Heather Mills

Gilbert Wham

That poster...

...Looks like a picture of the devastation caused by the hideous Mills demon as it rampages across the land.

Amazon's $399 folly book reader

Gilbert Wham

But...

...I like to read in the bath.

Ofcom stings ISP £30k for silent treatment

Gilbert Wham

@ Andy Barber

Dude, wait. What? You moved *to* BT? You give BT money in the fond hope they will provide services in return? My dear fellow, I do hope it's not too late. Are you still within your right to cancel period?

(Happy user of an Entanet reseller - 19.99 for 30gbpeak/100gb offpeak, no lies about 'unlimited', no contract, no shaping, tech support that is both technical and supportive)

Seriously, fuck BT - they're the only company I've ever had to write to the CEO *every* time something needed fixing.

Plastic police to enforce London bag ban?

Gilbert Wham
Flame

Oh, for fuck's sake

Is this going to stop supermarkets & suppliers from wrapping everything we buy in bloody plastic? No. It's going to mean *we* end up being charged more and harassed by pettifogging officials.

If you want less plastic, say to retailers 'Right you lot, you're not allowed to use 'X' type of packaging anymore'. Will they all go out of business? No. Will they stop trading in the UK? No.

Granted, they'll try and shift as much of the cost of changing their methods as possible onto the consumer (plus a bit extra, because they can), but that will stabilise, because one will start to undercut another (and be seen to be more kindly and 'green' in the process).

But why do that when you could empower people in uniform to annoy the public for having the wrong kind of bag? I for one welcome our new bag-judging overlords!

Dwarfs threaten Kepler and Newton

Gilbert Wham

Marmite.

Certainly qualifies as dark matter...

Apple hit with another class action

Gilbert Wham

Hmmmm

"Try buying a mac without OSX" Er, that would be a PC then.

Also, iTunes is fucking awful.

Surge in encrypted torrents blindsides record biz

Gilbert Wham

Best. Neologism. Ever

"custiminals"

^^^^^ Win.

Gilbert Wham

And another thing!

Re the whole shaping foofaraw; hardcore uploaders are now using dedicated seedboxes on 20MBit+ commercial lines. Something that is going to become more and more prevalent as the prices drop, till everyone who wants to is running their own homebrewed GigaNews anyway.

Microsoft spoils Christmas with Xbox 360 locking feature

Gilbert Wham

OLD!!!!!!!one eleven!1

If your parents could deny you the use of a playstation, you are not 'old'. Fucking hell.

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