* Posts by Gilbert Wham

408 publicly visible posts • joined 6 Apr 2007

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Grand Theft Auto IV PC debut gets SecuROM sideshow

Gilbert Wham

'Comical to game-progress-halting changes'

Have they been taking lessons from Bethesda, d'you think? Not that Bethesda are so ungenerous as to keep such comedy for the pirates.

@ Mike JVX: I concur wholeheartedly; the last few games I've been excited enough to get have been unplayable, buggy nightmares. Some of them STILL won't work (you can guess which one, presumably).

EU cybercrime strategy backs law enforcement Trojan

Gilbert Wham

Feh.

As has been ably pointed-out above, it will only be useful against the most foolish. It'll cost millions, only be effective against machines running IE, and will do no more than provide another security risk á la Sony's rootkit fiasco. Can't wait.

BBC relives The Day of The Triffids

Gilbert Wham

Re 'Anything By Harry Harrison':

Can haz Slippery Jim Di Griz? Seriously, a series of Stainless steel Rat movies would be awesome. Really, we'd need to rejuvenate James Coburn for the part, but I'll take other casting suggestions on board.

Wireless comms and the end of civilisation

Gilbert Wham

@ Eddie Edwards

"if you think BT's customer service is bad now, wait until they're all dead." How, precisely, would one tell the difference? Anyway, looks like I'm gonna have to update my Zombie Plan.

London Hospital back online after computer virus shutdown

Gilbert Wham

I worked in a hospital last year...

...and the majority of the machines I saw were running Win2000, which says a lot...

Preventive policing? Don't even think about it

Gilbert Wham

As has probably been pointed out...

...surely this can be circumvented by a little bit of observation and being able to count up to five?

Top aero boffin: Green planes will be noisy planes

Gilbert Wham

What wee need...

...are Zeppelins! I love Zeppelins, me. I don't give a fig for 'Wah wah wah, not practical'. Enormous, floating gin-palaces please.

Stick health warnings on gays, says Stock Exchange chaplain

Gilbert Wham

@ what about the fringes

I'm afraid you'd probably make their brains explode trying to work out what they should hate you for first.

Virgin rejects $1m space sex offer

Gilbert Wham

Rule 34 is in effect...

They already did it on the Vomit Comet: http://www.space.com/sciencefiction/movies/uranus_experiment_000516.html

Indian chief exec murder 'a warning for management'

Gilbert Wham

@ Gaz

"effectively condoning murder when you're in a public office beggars belief"

It does, it does. Yet our lords & masters condone it every day...

Net Suicide Bill would breathe life into government censorship

Gilbert Wham

Suicide ideas?

Surely a medical textbook would do the job? Or a decently gory crime novel. I'd rather see people trawling sites & forums trying to talk to people & you know, actually *help* them, rather than stamp about in jackboots banning things.

Google: The Satan Phone cometh

Gilbert Wham

No Syncing App...

...is still better than MS Active Sync. A pen and the back of a fag packet is better than that...

US military offered flying hover car bike

Gilbert Wham

Flying Killer Bike?

Hovvering death-dealing speeder? Count me in. I want one with frickin' laser beams on it though...

S'kiddies light-up LHC website

Gilbert Wham

It's too late! We're all doomed!

As this webcam will show you: http://www.cyriak.co.uk/lhc/lhc-webcams.html

'UK's Chernobyl' spam spreads Trojan

Gilbert Wham

@ Bavenchkee Krycek

Um, I think you just described an AV program, more or less.

Press proves immune to FBI's anthrax corrective

Gilbert Wham

Errrrm,

"So, please, stuff the arrogant, holier than thou attitude that your version of English is better than any one elses."

What, the English version of English? Also, you missed an apostophe. Quick! Get him!

OiNK BitTorrent admin faces fraud prosecution

Gilbert Wham

@ How can they charge him with fraud?

Because the plod *have* to charge him with something criminal to justify their involvement. It doesn't need to stick, necessarily. I'm sure he'll be well fucked over by the labels in civil court if they get the chance.

Oz minister walks plank for dancing drunk in his smalls

Gilbert Wham

If we had more ministers...

...in EVERY government in the world who were of the disposition to get completely spangled and do a dance in naught but their kecks, the world would be a MUCH nicer place.

Ex-Verizon techie cuffed for 5,000 'chat' line calls

Gilbert Wham

Chatlines? How terribly quaint.

Why was he not spending all his time pissing around on Facebook, like every other workshy dunderhead in the world who is busily INFECTING! MACHINES! I! HAVE! TO! CLEAN! through that horrible web 2.bollocks even as we speak. I'm going to stop explaining to them how they *should* behave even on their home machines and just buy a taser.

Sample of new improved conversation w/thicko:

"Yes, but if you do (X) instead, it wouldn't keep breaking"

"That's stupid! I can't be bothered to do that!"

BZZZZZZT!

"Erk..."

French storm the bastille over 'Sarkozy's Big Sister' database

Gilbert Wham

England expects...

...the French to do their duty, i.e. set things on fire and throw them until they make this go away.

England also expects *every* politician of *every* stripe to peer over the channel at this database and go, 'Ooh, lovely! Can WE have one?'

Legal digital music is commercial suicide

Gilbert Wham

@ HDTV

Unless, again, you go to the pirates; where you will find your favourite shows in HD, no DRM, no nothing. For free. Not that the demented chuckleheads in TV Exec Land who make decisions about that kind of thing will derive anything useful from that fact

Password pants-off at Lloyds Bank

Gilbert Wham

@EDDIE

Telwest/VM store your password on the first screen that comes up when your details are brought up (the software they use is called ICOMS. Believe me, it's better than its predecessor). Any idiot (and lo, they are legion) can change it.

'Googlebomb' blows up in Daily Mail hack's face

Gilbert Wham

@ Goat Jam

Well, there's a significant gap between being out and out insulting and disagreeing with the Daily Mail. Unless you're a retired colonel from the Home Counties of course.

BBC fixes BT Home Hub auto-vomit bug

Gilbert Wham

Iplayer + BeBox...

funnily enough, I don't think Iplayer does crash mine. Everything else does though. I've still got my 2wire hg2700 (the only good thing from BT). Anyone got any info on configuring it for Be?

gOS - a Google good OS for your Mum

Gilbert Wham

@ Gareth

Well, no, quite possibly I am not. But if it was nice and fluffy and easy to use, I have lots of friends and family who might rather appreciate it what with their children infecting their windows boxes and them being generally stupid. I'll check back when it's out of beta. If that's alright with you, of course. Does anyone have anythying *helpful* to say?

Gilbert Wham

Hmmmm, Beta is right...

Can't get it to play nice with VMWare, and it hangs on the live CD, so there's no chance of it getting put on a HDD of mine yet...

Reader comments bigger legal risk than forums

Gilbert Wham

Goodbye, Internets...

But, I, they... bheheheh.... That's unpossible! The interrnet's very raison d'etre is the posting of rambling, ill thought-out screeds by retards. What will we all *do*?

'Child protection' database slammed as plod data mine

Gilbert Wham

Secretary of state OR local authority

Well, that's alright then. Not like local councils will snoop on you for pettifogging & arbitrary reasons now, is it?

UK spooks forced to hand Gitmo files to suspect's lawyers

Gilbert Wham

"creation of a socialist worker's paradise."?

Why are so many people bent on propagating this nonsense? If New Labour were intent on any such thing, I'd be voting for them...

Google flicks pennies down geothermal well

Gilbert Wham

Absolutely, Fred old top

Can we start with you?

Wireless browsers shut out of the Olympics

Gilbert Wham

How about this?

would something like an Incognito live CD not do the job? IIRC, it allows you to set an IP address from any country where there's an exit node. 'Course you'd have to tweak it, as the browser won't have flash installed already, but a world-wide iPlayer distro can't be too hard, surely?

Be Unlimited pulls plug on home CCTV service

Gilbert Wham

another +1 for Be

I've always found Be's Bulgarian tech support/customer service people excellent. Far better than any english CSRs for any company. With the exceptiion of Entanet.

Prof says fatties a bigger menace than bin Laden

Gilbert Wham

@ Peter Fairbrother

"ID cards and 42-day detention without trial - two highly unpopular strategies, which will probably be repealed when the Tories get in at the next election"

AAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA etc etc.

Are you for real? If Maggie had thought for one secont she could have gotten away with doing that to union members & Irishmen back in the day, she'd have been all over it. You *really* think that the Tories won't just let these lunatics do all this nasty stuff for them so they don't have to bother, and then waltz in for their turn shafting you, me and everyone else? Cameron and his nasty, venal public schoolboy chums won't make it better you know. That's not what they got into politics *for*...

US says the next war will be all in our minds

Gilbert Wham

How effective?

Will this be against that most wily of the USA's enemies; the difficult-to-spot peasant with the robust, cheap, produced in its millions assault rifle? Being as insurgents with Kalashnikovs and pointy sticks have trounced them once in Asia, and will again in the Middle East, is this anything more than military-industrial-complex porkbarrelling at its most esoteric?

BT slams bandwidth brakes on all subscribers

Gilbert Wham

Re Be

Speeds are good, yes, but fuck do I hate that Thompson router....

Unencrypted traveler data laptop disappears then reappears

Gilbert Wham

"the thief would have to hack into two different passwords"

Given the TSA's legendary ineptitude, I'll lay plenty of 6 to 4 that 'hacking into' one of these passwords will be no more difficulth than booting the machine and repeatedly pressing F8.

Also, Shay Mclaclan has beaten me to my second point. I don't believe they 'found' it again for one second.

Hard 'core'? Birmingham City Council's net filtering

Gilbert Wham

Banning productivity tools...

...and council policy in general would seem to go hand in glove.

US court liberates Cablevision 'remote DVR'

Gilbert Wham

It'll also be...

...easier to delete the shows once the broadcasters decide you've had 'em long enough, presumably.

Google 'exploitation' protest takes to the streets

Gilbert Wham

Currency exchange: You're doing it wrong.

For god's sake, it's not that simple is it?

Yes, a hundred thousand American Pesos is worth 55K *over here*, but over *there* it's worth a hundred thousand Dollars. Think of it in terms of cheeseburgers. Cheeseburger costs a dollar in the US, cheeseburger costs a pound in the UK. You can buy X amount of cheeseburgers in your locale depending how much you are paid. The amount of cheeseburgers you could buy *on the other side of the world* isn't really important in that situation.

Trashman arrested for YouTube threats

Gilbert Wham

How stupid?

Mind you, as a rule of thumb, anyone using a hotmail address knows absolutely bugger-all about computers, nevermind the complexities of communicating anonymously...

Home Office to order fingerprinting of air passengers

Gilbert Wham

Hang on...

Isn't this already addressed by *having people's names on the fucking tickets*? Jesus christ on a bike.

Proof of age system moves net ID a step closer

Gilbert Wham
Flame

"sorted the knife crisis nor the binge drinking out "

That's because there *isn't* a 'knife crisis' OR a 'binge drinking' crisis. There are a lot of people in this country. Some of them are idiots. Some of these idiots like to get idiotically drunk. We've all done that.

A tiny number of these idiots (a distinctly separate subset to 'people who like a drink on a friday', mark you) stab each other occasionally. A much larger set of idiots (we'll call these ones 'journalists' - not good ones, but still) write gibbering tosh to sell foolish newspapers to curtain twitching fools.

This allows another set of idiots to pass misguided legislation to further their own agendas. All driven by the selling of newspaper ads for shit that the curtain-twitchers don't need in the first place.

</ranrt> I

NASA: The Moon is not enough

Gilbert Wham

Sooooooo...

...in a nutshell, their argument for space exploration (our natural urge to discover etc etc) boils town to 'because it would be fucking awesome'. I'm down with that.

Trousers Brown Counterpoint: Is Gordon right?

Gilbert Wham

@Carolyn Clarke

It's no good you know. However cleverly you put forth the argument, they won't build you a zeppellin. The bastards.

Rebellious BT computers refuse to take orders

Gilbert Wham

9 days?

Is that all? Fuck me, they're slower than that when they're *not* broken...

AVG chokes fake traffic spew

Gilbert Wham

Bloody AVG

If I have to reboot *one more fucking time* after its morning update, it's bloody well going.

Court slaps UK BitTorrenters with landmark damages award

Gilbert Wham

Johnny Appleseed

"Leave your torrent tracker running for a couple of months and a 62:1 ration is not difficult to achieve."

Would that it were that easy...

Telegraph falls to the Tw*t-O-Tron

Gilbert Wham

'Amero' - dear oh dear...

Some friends of mine have been taken over by 'Zeitgeist The Movie'. I keep trying to explain to them that it is the work of libertarian wing-nuts, but they just get upset. It's like a religion (ironically enough).

Flying cars on the horizon, says Clive Sinclair

Gilbert Wham

Hang on...

"The vehicle would take off from your home and fly to wherever you want to go."

That's called a 'helicopter'. I've seen those. You can buy them and everything.

eBay Terror Ambulances of DEATH menace UK - top cops

Gilbert Wham

Hang on a minute...

Er, wouldn't the 'taking the stripes and the flashing blue lights off it' gambit, which already happens suffice? As evinced by the white ex-police Astra driven by my dad, which has neither police insignia or lights. Neither did the rather elderly Bedford CF ex-ambulance that I used to use to go to festivals in. Although, to be fair, it was missing rather more significant items than flashing blue lights and natty stripes; chiefly a windscreen...

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