* Posts by Doug Glass

1445 publicly visible posts • joined 11 Feb 2008

Tablets are the future of the PC, says researcher

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Meh

And bell bottomed trousers are the future of pants ... er trousers. So are flying cars in every driveway, Microsoft's BOB and Apple's Pippin. And electricity from nuclear power plants will be "too cheap to meter".

Dad sues Apple for pushing cash-draining 'free' games at kids

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"I don't think this will go very far"

The freaks at thepiratebay.org said the same thing.

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Re: When will parents learn

Yes I do. Yes i did. Yes it worked and now my daughter runs an 18 location sleep lab facility and my son is a helicopter pilot. Maybe you just need a little instruction in parental responsibilities and parenting in general.

Zuckerberg blew $1bn on Instagram 'without telling Facebook board'

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Re: You've got to laugh.

So if you talk the store manager into charging you $100 in place of the $200 asking price for a $50 pair of shoes you'll feel good about getting a great deal? Interesting.

Global chocolate crisis looms

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What does chocolate have to do with IT?

What does a bell have to do with Pavlov's dog?

Apple flooded with iPad 3 wireless connection complaints

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You'd think ...

... the cretins who buy Apple would learn. No wait, these are Apple Lemmings. Never mind.

Five charged after fanboi sells kidney for iPad and iPhone

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What is it the lifeless say?

"Without pictures it didn't happen."

Rabid skunks attack US

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Rabid skunks ...

...have been attacking the US for years. We locals use the more common term: congress.

Google shows off Project Glass augmented reality specs

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Augmented Reality

Saw this is "Caprica", "Brainstorm" and any number of sci-fi tomes. Just another toy for the marginally literate whizzy kiddies and fanbabies.

IT urine bandit fired and charged

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Like I always say ...

... It's better to be pissed off than pissed on.

iPhone fanbois enraged by Instagram's Android triumph

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"Enraged"

What does that mean for one of The Sacred J's fanbabies? One hitting you with their shoulder bag? Or would it be a bag of marbles?

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Pissed Off Apple Users

Reminds me of ridding the ranch or Prairie Dogs and the summer place of Chipmunks. Just a blast no matter how you frame it.

Yahoo! axes! 2,000! workers!

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Shit-canned ...

... there's an app for that. Right? Can't all the computer and app geniuses do an app for that? Or is the business of business beyond these tards?

Steve Jobs biopic

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Oh yeah, the Woz ...

... Jim Parsons in a fat suit.

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Perfect Pick

The Sacred J stuck it to his fanbois for as long as he could and Kutcher did the same to Demi Moore for as long as he could stand it. Kutcher fits the role perfectly. Balmer ... John Madden? Gates ... Al Gore?

Use the holy word of God to stay secure online, says bishop

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Backup, Backup, Backup

Always be prepared for data loss and destruction. Remember the church's Prime Example concerning data security: Jesus saves.

Vote now for the WORST movie EVER

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What moron ...

... came up with this pathetic list?

Apple products now found in half of all American dwellings

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Just damn!

In the minority again.

HP offers contractors a choice: 5 per cent pay cut ... or 100 per cent

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Ah yes, the business world ...

... and a dozen or so who have no real idea how it works. But that's fine, the IT people keep our toys running and that's good. And they like to eat too so, well ... there you go.

Female Chinese astronauts must have no scars, straight teeth

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It's just a remake ...

... of and old TV show episode; "Pigs In Space". Might even be as comical too. and if the craft explodes, free roast Peking Dwuck for everybody.

Americans resort to padlocking their dumb meters

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GPC

I worked for the company in question for many years and I can say with great authority that Georgia has some of the highest quality rednecks you could ever ask for. I myself installed radiation filters on meters back in the '70s to prevent radioactive electricity from the company's first nuclear plant (E. I. Hatch) from contaminating homes. The filters were cheap and easy to install looking somewhat like two tie wraps and a small sheet of Aluminum. Some even had "Coke" or "Pepsi" on the inside. Some were made by "Coors".

We were also asked by customers if the plants were so expensive to build why didn't we just buy one instead.

Oh yeah, highest quality rednecks you could ever want.

Dutch birdman admits flight was filmic fantasy

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Another success story ...

... for sheople who get their codependent realities via the internet.

Robotic surgeon successful in first prostate snip

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Behind ... in more ways than one

http://www.davinciprostatectomy.com/index.aspx

You Britishers are just sooooo behind the curve on this. No pun intended of course.

Man FLIES with Android-powered homemade bird wings

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There's a sucker born ...

... every minute. Great show guys ... just really great.

Microsoft cuts back on Windows keys after pirates grab booty

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"... had all been exploited by prates in the last few months..."

Got to watch out for those prates [sic], they'll steal your monies and haz hamburgers.

Must be Android of iPhoney spell check ... (what's that expression?) ... oh yeah, cock-up.

Dr Who scores new companion from Emmerdale

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How is Doctor Who like Apple?

No matter how you treat the faithful, they keep coming back for more. So it was in the beginning, so it shall be.

47 comments on a geek site does not a successful anything make.

Testicle-boiling new iPad ignites fanboi fury

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Population Control

As a dues-paying member of the ultra liberal left, and strong supporter of Obamacare and it's take on free birth control, I'd say The Sacred J is cooking 'the boys" in an attempt to keep down the birth rate as is his dark mentor's wish.

Funny thing is, he's just thermally castrating the faithful.

So, what IS the worst film ever made?

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Plan 9 From Outer Space

China ready to slap down US in smartphone wars

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Re: Population size

Hey hotshot, Pantech Hotshot.

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Texting Chinese ...

... is not so bad, but Chinese arithmetic on a phone just 很爛

Super-boffin Stephen Hawking to star in Big Bang Theory

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SH

Shelly boi just about fainted we he got some of Nimoy's DNA so he'll have to either pee in his pants [again] or prove once and for all he really does have working testicles.

Funniest thing about this show is the geeky-bois of the world don't realize it's a joke on all egg heads.

Megaupload boss: Site popular among US government users

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Name names

Name 'em brother! Do it now! We need to clean house in the US govern-ment and this is as good a start as any.

The seven types of online commenter

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They left off ...

... drive-by commentards.

New iPad: Crack open your wallets, fanbois, here's what it'll cost

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Oh yeah about Taxes

If I buy over the internet (interwebs to you guys) I pay sales tax only if the seller has a physical presence in my state. I tend to do the wise thing and search for a good vendor with no stores in my state. So no tax for me on, well, every little old thing.

And shipping? Lots of vendors offering domestic address delivery with $0.00 S&H. Pays to look around there too.

You guys are still just getting screwed.

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You Pommies ...

... are getting Royally screwed based on US MSRP prices. Yeah, some adders here and there but The Sacred J is still screwing you guys.

Anonymous smacks Panda in revenge attack

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Re: Panda Security's official statement

Panda, you were beaten at the very game your tout yourselves as being experts in. Supposedly experts in preventing what happened to you from happening to others. If you think for a minute you can word-smith and spin yourselves out of an embarrassing and untenable position you're as delusional as they come.

What you need to do is acknowledge you were had and then move on from there and do better. But, since you'd have us believe you're the very best, I'd suggest you have just put your foot in your mouth, stepped on your crank and any number of things that demonstrate your basic, underlying, incompetence.

Workers can't escape Windows 8 Metro - Microsoft COO

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Yeah right, ...

... a sizable portion have still escaped Windows 7 and are still using XP. But yeah, give 'em 10 years and we'll all be on Windows 8. Or is that Windows 27?

The harder the pitch, the worse the product.

Warp drives are PLANET KILLERS, Sydney Uni students find

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Re: re: obvious solution

"Blue up"? We're dealing with a whole new kind of spectral shift you're saying?

Apple: We never said Siri would actually work in the UK

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Blimey!!

Oh tosh!

Citrix drops Rush Limbaugh over 'slutgate' slurs

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Maybe she's not a slut, ....

... i bet you money she'll be getting plenty of calls now from horny guys and gals looking for some of that action needing $3,000 worth of birth control during her lawyer schooling. I knew a few law babes in my time and they may not have been sluts, but they've ravaged a few since.

Of course one of you guys minor writers got it right in Henry The Sixth, Part 2 Act 4, scene 2 with his comment on lawyers. Or was it Frank Bacon who penned it? Hard to tell which.

Weeing Frenchman sues Google over Street View photo

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Cost of doing business; ...

... "peace" on ya Frog.

Auto-correct cock-up sends schools into lockdown

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Re: Re: WTF

"Gun moll". Look it up.

'Kill yourself now' - Torvalds throws openSUSE security tantrum

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Poor baby ...

... sniff, snubb, waaaaaa

Younger generation taking 'sledgehammer' to security

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Idiot author ...

... obviously never actively participated in parenting teenagers. I can hear him now, "I put them in there, now it's your job to spit them out, keep them alive until they're 21 and then get them out the door."

Typical used car salesman.

IT staffers on ragged edge of burnout and cynicism

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As I was told for over 20 years ....

... in the corporate world, if you don't like being paid for what you're doing, leave and find another job. Then for the last 12 years that's what I told people.

Nobody put a shotgun to anybody's head to make them work. Yeah, yeah ... grow and get with the program or leave if you can't do the work or feel your inner baby is being mistreated.

Facebook denies poaching your text messages on Android

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Gotta love 'em ....

.... old re-activated dumb phones, DuckDuckGo and what's Facebook? Sheople got to be connected and provide the rest of us with entertainment.

Death to Office or to Windows - choose wisely, Microsoft

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Re: The Curse Of The 21st Century: MS Office

From the corporate IT basement comes the truth according to the last pocket-protecting booger-picking nerd hired.

Apple fanbois forced to go on the pull by Motorola patent

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So now it's called ...

... a circle pull?

Schmidt's $1.45bn Google stock sale compelled by adultery?

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What was that line?

If you're doing something you want kept private maybe you shouldn't be doing it. Or words to that effect. He's just another Google PoS living the life he so richly deserves.

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Re: Why do people always look on the black side ?

Got your sunshine pump all primed and ready huh Rube?