* Posts by Sarah Bee

2823 publicly visible posts • joined 31 Jan 2008

BOFH: The Mandelboat virus

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: @CTG

Sigh. I'm changing it. This is arse.

Canada sex shop heist shafts proprietress

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: where is the link to the ...

My apologies. I'll go back and add it in for anyone who wants to read it.

Serial troll bitchslaps Reg hack

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

um

May I suggest that extrapolating from the rantings of one loon on the internet that all Americans are mad is er, a smidge unreasonable? After all, the Americans could then extrapolate from that that all Brits are prone to unreasonable extrapolation. And round and round we'd go.

The point is, give it a rest, you Brit-tards.

Armed cops ice South London devil dog

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: @Chris G

>If a hound ever attacked me, I would kill it. It would be choked and strangled. A single dog (no matter what breed) is easy to kill, two dogs (or a dog and a thug owner) is more difficult.

"You know that expression, 'softly softly, catchy monkey'? I could catch a monkey."

*snort* Sorry.

I have to say though I think people are fantastically ignorant about dog behaviour in this country, and assume aggression when there may only be excitement or anxiety. Yes of course you have to protect yourself, and you can reasonably assume a dog means business if it leaps at you with its jaws agape, etc, but a dog looking at you and barking doesn't necessarily mean it's going to go for you. Not even if it's, like, a big scary dog.

It's all getting a bit testosteroney around here, anyway. There's nothing macho about self-defence if you do it right.

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Shot Like a Junkyard Dog

If cats were bigger, they'd kill us all. You know I'm right.

Oh and Phud, that's a pretty skanky argument and I suspect you know it. The jury's still out on 'chav' and of course it gets tossed at people who don't deserve it, but the fact remains we're talking about A Certain Section Of Society, whatever you want to call them. Anyone who suggests this is the entirety of the working class is a twat. But I don't think anyone's saying that.

Meh.

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

oh, and Paul

I believe it was a pit bull terrier, which may or may not be more dangerous than other breeds depending on various factors, but our rather ill-thought-out law which you incorrectly cite defines it as such.

And there are quite a few types of terrier, in fact. So.

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Oh all right

It's the usual irresponsibility on the part of an idiot who at best doesn't know any better and at worst doesn't give a flying fuck for anyone else or their own dog (although they'll fight long and hard and whinily to keep them, just out of possessiveness). Since pit bulls are (pointlessly) banned here, it's only going to be the dodgy who own or breed them (excepting maybe one or two ornery defiant dog lover types who know what they're doing and are exceptionally careful not to be found out/fall afoul of the law, etc).

Dodgy breeders breed dodgy dogs, which they'll flog to people who barely know one end of a dog from another, let alone what breed it is, and/or have no idea of the law, or to people who fancy owning an illicit macho beast. So it's dogs which would need very careful handling ending up with people who can barely feed themselves.

This one wasn't even a year old, it was a puppy - about the same age as the one in the Ellie Lawrenson case. And it was called Asbo, for fucksakes. These attacks tend to be just another symptom of a generally chaotic, dysfunctional existence. Speaking of which, the mother of Archie-Lee Hirst (killed by dog last year) just got let off for slashing her mate's face with scissors - of course she's grief-stricken, but not all the grief-stricken end up being arrested for assault.

I'm very sorry, says gay health warning clergyman

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: No apology needed by him

Oh Francis, you big poove.

Autopilot blamed for Qantas plunge

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Experts!

That's a lovely idea Paul, but I fear it would be open to GRIEVOUS ABUSE. Really that's what the boffin icon is for, only it gets used whenever people want to make a point about goggles. Hey ho, you can lead the internet to water.

This page has been intentionally left blank

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: OK, I give ...

If Kim Kardashian is fat (or indeed mannish), you are Brad Pitt, my friend.

It may be wrong of me, but I can't help hoping you don't get laid until Satan skates to work.

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: @Sarah 12:18GMT

You boob.

Heh. It's much underused.

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: @ Sarah

Idiot.

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

(T)IT angle

For those who insist on an IT angle - well, most IT industry workers have boobs, don't they? Look around you. Or just look down.

UK.gov £12bn comms überdatabase 'wouldn't spot terrorists'

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Miracle solution found !

DATABASE also reduces the five signs of ageing thanks to its polybentiline pentapeptides.

Judge Dredd smartshell shotguns to hit Iraq in '09

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: I'm all for it

"Man, I would shoot you in the face... *if* I could *afford* it."

Google takes aim at drunken messaging

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

@Andus

Well, yes.

I'm sure you're not an idiot, but I am still duty bound to point out that a) there are many kinds of idiot, including an awful lot of ostensibly clever ones, and b) please restore my H in future or I shall be obliged to address you as 'Angus'.

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: 69 - 38 -huh?

How I wish they'd do something equivalent for website comments.

"You're an idiot. Are you sure you want to broadcast this to the internet? Answer these simple questions to verify."

Followed by basic enquiries as to how much Jeremy Kyle you watch and whether you know your 'your' from your 'you're'. Might cut down the field a bit. We long for the day.

Anonymous plans zombie Scientology protest

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Why did my comment about

Yes. Hail Xenu.

No, AC, I was just at a loss as to what you think we should call it if 'religious organisation' is too vague, not vague enough, or somehow offensive. If you're going to make such a shouty demand for amendment, suggestions would be helpful.

How about 'dubious Cruise-cuddling personality-testing sci-fi worship collective'?

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Cakes

BRAINS.

There will be brains.

Stick health warnings on gays, says Stock Exchange chaplain

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: wow

>gay's don't go knocking on peoples houses in the morning trying to spread their good news

Heh. I'd give them a few moments on the doorstep.

"Hi, we're here to tell you the good news about gayness - have you ever thought about your sexuality? We have some naughty little booklets here we think you'd find inspirationa... oh but honey, that is one fierce bathrobe, wherever did you get it?"

Anyway, it's a frickin' good point.

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Maybe....

Well, it was clearly satire. It was just crap satire. And it's a bit rich of him to invoke the 'grand tradition' when he doesn't know what he's doing, and isn't exactly the gays' best friend to start with.

In summary, then - peh. Peh on the silly man.

Birmingham Airport in X-rated X-ray shocker

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: A friend wanted so set someone up

How community-minded! What did he care if a neighbour took something he left on the pavement because he couldn't be arsed to take it to the tip?

Still, I'm sure that'll make a lovely b3ta QOTW answer one day.

Reg reader completely loses the plot

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Spunk bubble - that's MINE!

Don Logan calls Gal Dove (or is it H?) a spunkbubble in Sexy Beast. So you might want to take it up with the production company.

Phoenix Lander listens to Mars murmurings

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Bliss

Hey, Chris, the Guild of Seventies Sitcom Writers called for you. They sounded... angry.

Artist to smoke Cobain's ashes

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Jim the toss. er.

Thanks, Matt.

Jim is a laugh some of the time. I don't let all his stuff through because it makes my eyes bleed but y'know, there's a place for everything.

Revealed: How Street View marks its territory

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: They'll run how?

Haha! Fixed.

Much obliged, whelp.

Facebook picks Dublin for international HQ

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Stupid comments

>My comment left some time ago today about traffic in Dublin seems to been ignored by the Reg. Why?

Because we hadn't got to it yet, and because I was doing some writing and sub-editing and such, and because sometimes comments slip through or fall to the bottom of the cage and lie there writhing and making pitiful noises until we pick them up.

Or it's because [insert censor-tastic conspiralunacy here]. Your pick.

Postman Pat goes postal

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: What?

>Lets make it more realistic - where's the coke 'tache?

Bear's white, man. It's ingenious.

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: We're So Good At Telly

*falls off chair*

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Postman Pat, Postman Pat

Please no cat abuse? I'm not that crazy about cats, but I did just have my lunch.

Meat Loaf gets Q gong

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: I don't like Coldplay.

>Can I have a job on The Reg too, please?

Of course. You can have my job, it's a total doss. Meet me on the baseball field at midnight. Dress all in black.

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: 37 Million

Y'see, if I'd realised that he was that popular, I would never have written anything mildly derogatory about him. We all make mistakes. Forgive a poor girl IT hack (who appears to have never actually written anything about IT per se)?

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Bah

My work here is done.

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Leave the Meat alone.

It's true, Scott, it's very easy to knock him.

Fun, too.

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Bohemian Rhapsody?

Damn straight. What would Wayne's World have been without it?

Point taken on 'Bob' though, moobs and all.

Did the width move for you, darling?

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Freetards and fixed width [part 2]

Cretin.

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Freetards and fixed width

You know what 'cretin' means, don't you?

Truly sorry about the spacing issue. We'll pay it the attention it deserves.

Secret Service camera bought on eBay

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Online tat bazaar eBay?

That reminds me, C Blackmore, when am I going to get my refund for that malfunctioning Big Mouth Billy Bass you sold me?

'Extreme' extreme porn law puts Scots out of kilter

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: I just don't get this...

Thing is you'll always be able look at almost anything you want to, however repellent, so long as you don't get off on it - if it isn't framed as wank-fodder. The true deviants will be fine since they'll still be perving over the obscure and apparently non-sexual stuff that is beyond porn and legislation thereof, but which they find arousing.

I've said it before but it's preposterous to attempt to legislate for what turns people on. No one has an awful lot of choice in the matter, do they? And no one's ever died directly because of someone else wanking, and there's never been any proof that looking at nasty porn makes people do nasty things (I suspect it's more likely to be the opposite, and the porn provides the outlet for the impulse, but then you can't prove that either).

And several others have pointed out it's an unenforceable nonsense anyway and will only be used to hang more charges on people who've already been nabbed for doing something else. Still depressing, though.

Sun faces up to the 64 thread question with T2+

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

RE: Eoin & HP Bigot.

Look, no one here is either a bigot or a racist and you know it perfectly well. Put the emotive terms down and stop devaluing them, you divots.

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

RE: Eoin & HP Bigot.

An HP racist, surely. I mean, let's not gild the lily. Call a spade a spade.

Microsoft claims 'landmark victory' against defunct UK reseller

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: @Sarah Bee

I'm warming up.

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: @Kevin: ltd co => directors not personally responsible

Oh God would you ever stop whining about being 'censored'. It's a comment on a Microsoft story on a website, not a previously undiscovered Aldous Huxley short story.

'I can see dinosaurs from my back porch'

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re:Re: Maybe this will help clear the air

Oh yes. That's OK then.

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: I usually like the Register...

We'd love to, but your politics is pretty much everyone's politics, isn't it?

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Maybe this will help clear the air

I think it's more likely to dirty it. But I'll let it stand. Anyone who's going to respond, take some deep breaths first, yeah?

It's not a 'blog', though, Nathan. But then you could argue the archaeopteryx wasn't reptilian. Not that I'm going there. Not in <strike>3 million years</strike> <strike>30,000 years</strike> a really long time.

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: Faith in Evolution?

Personally I don't believe in the existence of this thread, but I'm not going to bang on about it for twenty paragraphs.

Look, I created the earth, OK? It actually took me seven *weeks*. The Guardian got it wrong in the first instance.

Right: Which one of you lot invented 'tw*tdangle', eh?

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: A serious request

What's up, Dick?

Sorry.

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

God

Some of you are so disgusting. I've been at this thread with the mop and the bucket and the bleach.

But now, I'm going to the pub. So there.

Tw*tdangler defends Benito Mussolini stunt

Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

Re: @ Sarah Bee

Fair point.

I liked the Blaine-in-a-box thing though. I went to see him get lowered down. Amazing how many people were there just to go "pfft, this is shit", on an especially cold night. That's entertainment.