Posts by Sarah Bee

a ready blade

I wonder if he'd like my job. He'd be brilliant.

Re: Should that be "Britain's GOAT Talent"?

Yes. Yes it should.

Re: minds me

You're kidding, right? It's only a few years before that that job ads were still allowed to request a "pretty" or "blonde" secretary. There's a reason they can't do that any more.

Re: You gotta wonder at the El Reg mods' mentality

You gotta wonder, does yer? May I quote from said '10 reasons why a steel pipe is better than a woman' post:

"6. A steel pipe doesn't get loose and sloppy after you've screwed it a dozen times."

It wasn't funny and it wasn't clever and it wasn't pleasant and to be honest it's this kind of crap that makes me want to go and moderate comments on the Sunday Sport's website as they may be a little more mature and enlightened.

And I don't care if you think you were being ironic and post-modern - I don't think you understand those concepts enough to go flinging them around on these threads on my watch. A quote from the oversexed character from Family Guy in this context is perfectly innocuous, if inane. Your comment was the work of a disgusting little boy and I moderated it accordingly.

Does that shed any light on the matter for you?

Re: Ignoramus

I accept nothing from you, AC, you can blow it out your arse.

Have a nice day!

Re: Humour bypass operation, some of you?

I'm not your friend and protector, McCoatover. I would nix all of your comments as soon as look at them. And if you bother my esteemed colleague again then you will be in a world of poop.

Either that or I'll just go on living my life, as will he. It's always an option. I tend to forget.

Re: Kettle

If you're looking for the point, dear, it went that way.

Re: RE: Why?

And a happy new year to you too. It's GREAT to be back. Such wit. Such insight. Such accuracy.

Re: Oooh the Challenger!

I think they both qualify as tragedies. One occurred because of human error, one because of malign intent, in each case lots of innocent people died. That's undeniable whether you're offended by this stuff or not, innit.

Re: Police by consent?

Er, say what? I think your ire may be misplaced. I hope you're not suggesting we're Mail readers.

Re: gramm(e)r [sic] sigh...

I cordially invite you to cram it up your hoop, Anonymous Coward Who Is Not Anonymous To Me. Or else come and do my job(s) for a day. Whichever you think would be more fun.

Re: Decade

If anyone else mewls that the decade still has a year to go they will feel my wrath. Just shut up. Shut up now and stay shut up, you tedious pedants. Or if you can't, then be consistent and go and write an email to every publication which is currently running 'best of the decade' lists.

But preferably, just shut up.

Re: Clever dogs

One of the many, many problems with the Dangerous Dogs Act is that police are taught to identify banned breeds - in a four-hour seminar - from various characteristics that are all but meaningless. If you have a mixed breed dog which is part Staffordshire bull terrier and part some other things but it has long enough legs and has had a complaint made against it, it's liable to be taken off you and impounded because a cop has looked at it and decided it's a 'pit-bull type'. You can only establish a dog's breed for certain through DNA testing but that doesn't matter under the Act - a supposed expert assessment by eye is all it takes. If you get your dog back after months of legal wrangling it's likely to be all fucked up from being separated from its family and confined in kennels... and if it wasn't aggressive before, it's now much more likely to be. Excellent!

So, the situation's pretty similar to the drugs one, really - it's all about suspicion imposed by meaningless or over-broad or unofficial classification. It is far too easy to get shafted.

Re: "Chrimbo" please don't!

What's wrong with Chrimbo? It's nice for headlines as it takes up less space than Christmas and is less shit than Xmas.

If I say it repeatedly will you have to do a funny little dance and pinch yourself in the nose to ward off evil spirits? CHRIMBO CHRIMBO CHRIMBO.

Re: Pedantry corner

We're quibbling with quibbles now? It was a generalised plea for people to shut their yaps on this matter but yes. You are allowed. No further quibbling though, not with my pleas, or there will be consequences.

Re: @Sarah Bee

It's not 'nauseatingly hypocritical' at all. By all means throw the fucker in jail forever. But taking a life in that way is an overwhelming responsibility that I don't personally believe humanity should take.

But y'know, vengeance and bloodlust have their place in civilised society, I guess.

Re: What really worries me is

Moreover, the Co2 generated by the massive daily onslaught of comments posted is becoming a serious concern for us all. I urge you all to do your bit and go and shout at some bins rather than post here, so our children's future is secure and I can have a bit of peace.

Re: What we really need

I dunno - can a comparison be drawn with atheists, who normally don't want to be considered an ersatz religion as it defeats the object somewhat? Is asexuality a sexuality or just an absence thereof? I suppose you'd need a survey. You'd be bound to find arguments for both.

Re: Oh dear...

I appear to have walked into the middle of a lolly-slinging fight. Please play nicely, girls.

Re: fail

Yeah. It's like totally lame.

Re: annoying

Yes yes alright. Now shush.

Re: boracic

Look it up.

Re: MS Jingle Bell bus rattles past Reg Towers

Gareth needs to read Popjustice. It is amazing. And not for pre-pubescent girls at all.

I love how real-ale and uppity people get about pop music, though.

deleted

It should keep you on your toes.

Re: fight

Alright, guys, don't make me throw a bucket of water over you.

Re: Catholics slam PETA nude adopt-a-mutt poster

PETA are indeed quite evil, but they are a) publicity geniuses b) quite correct in this campaign. Adopting is proper.

Re: Facebook goes live with privacy revamp

Hey, we've all been unfriended, and it is maddening but it's one of those things you just have to let go, bro.

Re: Europe's ISPs object to secret copyright treaty talks

Ah yes, well done, someone managed to sneak a bit of Bubba past me. Don't post that crap, you infant.

And it's 'cue', not 'queue'.

Re:meow

I think that was the Mail getting a bit mixed up, bless it. As far as I know it gets called 'meow' because it's MDMCAT, rather than MDMA.

Except it's methylone which is MDMCAT, not mephedrone. So general confusion. But anyway, all you need to know is that drugs are bad and the rest is just unneccessary detail, yeah?

Re: Porn app targets your Android

No dice, Stu. I am not going to preside over any ridiculous internet fights today.

Everyone consider taking a deep breath and letting it go instead. Remember all the people you disagree with are idiots and they are only showing themselves up - you would lower yourself by arguing with them.

Go on. Step away from the scrap. Just try it once. It feels great.

Re: Lost mobiles to pile up in taxis in run up to Xmas

Oi. I saw a bloke run after another bloke in the street in London to give him back his phone that he'd left behind in a London restaurant. In London. So less of that, faceache.

Re: Something I've long suspected....

>the anti-smoking types are a bunch of etc etc etc

You seem a little irritable, TeeCee. Do you need a cigarette?

Re: @ JoeG & AC #1

David T is right.

If you don't understand it

You're an idiot.

Re: Get your facts right about Soham

I don't see where the article says Huntley worked at the girls' school. Besides, it's a syndicated article.

Re: @ShaggyDoggy

Oh my God. The pun was there for the doing so I did it. I don't care if the story's got anything to do with the literal actual Ilkley or not. And nor should you. Enough already.

Re: Gob-smacking isn't the _word_...

Of course it was spontaneous. You don't think people can be spontaneous when the spirit takes them? You're all such *cynics*.

puzzlement

"Why did you put something not especially positive about Macs in the headline of the story I have clicked through to and am now commenting on?"

Believe me, I'm just as bewildered as all of you. I'm investigating on your behalf as we speak.

Re: Interesting...

Thank you for your contribution.

Re: Conspiracy?

W and indeed TF, Winky? Are you trying to drive me to jump off the roof?

Send me your address, Annhilator, and we'll ball you up.

If I were you, AC, I'd stop whining and be the change I want to see in the world, y'know?

Re: Gun Rights being argued by people who let govt tell them how many sheets of TP they can use!?!

Oh goody! Another searing debate about guns between bemused Brits and gung-ho Americans! I SIMPLY CANNOT CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT.

Right, new comments rule. Any smug git of any nationality using the threadbare old pun 'sheeple' will get nixed to hell and back. The right to nix idiocies is enshrined in *my* constitution.

Please do continue with this very interesting and not at all well-trodden load of old bollocks.

Re: Conspiraloon!

It's practically in the dictionary by now. We couldn't have made it through the decade without it.