* Posts by VulcanV5

378 publicly visible posts • joined 21 Jan 2008

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TomTom bill bomb: Why am I being charged for infotainment? I sold my car last year, rages Reg reader

VulcanV5

Re: As I read that

Dorry to have to correct you, but . . .

We purchased our Garmin Nuvi satnav with "free lifetime map updates" SIX years ago. Garmin has been true to its word ever since.

By comparison, we paid more than £23,000 for a Nissan Qashqai in mid-2015, only later discovering that Nissan UK's 'Connect' satnav was using a map dating from 2013. (There'd been no map updates in 2014).

At the time of its first annual service, we asked the supplying dealer if it would update the satnav for us as by then it was three years out of date.

The dealer said sorry, but no. The manufacturer doesn't support updating of the installed satnav each year. You have to buy a new SD card yourself. (The rate from Nissan UK is now £109 per updated card.)

Garmin hasn't charged us a cent over and above the original £60 purchase price paid 6 years ago.

Thankfully, we found plenty of suppliers on eBay, from one of whom we've just bought a 2019/2020 Nissan satanav SD card complete with speed camera alerts: £18.00. (In a fortnight's time, Nissan UK is going to launch its all-new Qashqai and will be hoping its existing customer base responds to hyped-up "invitations" to the "unveiling" of the new model at their local dealership. The dumbos running the company clearly haven't worked out that if you stiff your customers once, you've lost 'em for all time. Goodbye, Nissan .)

VulcanV5

Re: As I read that

Wouldn't touch TomTom with the proverbial barge pole. It's a rip-off company that nopotential satnav user needs to go anywhere near when there's so much choice out there in the marketplace. We switched from TomTom to Garmin six years ago and every year we have 2 free map updates (UK and Europe). Gawd knows how much TomTom would've wanted for that dozen or so number of updates?

You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Fujitsu tells 80,000 of its Japan employees: From now on, you work remotely

VulcanV5

Career move

They can always come to the UK where new horizons await as sub-postmasters.

We're no longer helping UK Post Office persecute postal workers with our shonky system, says Fujitsu

VulcanV5

Re: And hopefully the summary

Not just the Government. A wannabe Prime Minister (remember that glorious pre-election moment:hey: I could be Prime Minister soon!) called Jo Swinson, vacuous leader of even more vacuous political party the Liberal Democrats, was on the Post office Board and well aware of everything that was happening to Britain's subpostmasters.

And to think: Jo Swinson could've been Prime Minister. . .

VulcanV5

Vwennells and Harding: aren't you glad UK healthcare is in the hands of such wonderful individuals

Ex Post office CEO Vennells i now a luminary on an NHTrust, when she should in fact be in prison. Hopefully it's not too late for that. Vennells made it plain to "colleagues" what she wanted to hear and like the spineless minions they were, they told her exactly that: "everything's fine, ma'am, let's be getting on with the task of locking up subpostmasters before too many have gone and committed suicide."

She's an individual of calibre just like Dido Harding, who presided over the ISP Talk Talk through the years it was regularly criticised for being the worst company in Britain for customer service, and also during which it suffered a spectacular data breach in response to which Harding 'fessed up that she didn't know anything thing about data encryption. Married to Johnson-supporting Tory MP, John Penrose, she's a former university mate of the distinguished, though thankfully now politically extinguished, David Cameron, with a title somewhat different to that of the justifiably deserved Village Idiot.

She is, of course, a The Right Honourable Baroness Harding of Winscombe. After leaving TalkTalk, she landed the unadvertised behind-closed-doors appointment of head of NHS Improvement, this despite knowing as much about healthcare as she ever did about telecomms and data handling.

Worthy of note is that the current non-existent Track and Trace initiative is under Harding's control, with results that so far indicate she's running true to form in her level of incompetence: reportedly, the TalkTalk data breach cost the company £60 million and lost it 95,000 customers. No matter: Harding sweeps on through life, turning up on the board of directors of Cheltenham race course,where she reportedly voted for the Cheltenham meet to go ahead despite the fact that the COVID-19 pandemic was on the verge of overwhelming the country. the pandemic was obviously taking hold of the country.

Vennells doesn't have a title and seems not to have been at university with Cameron, so her prospects aren't anywhere near as rosy. However, the fact that she's on a London NHS Trust says much for the way the UK's political elite uses the NHS as a dumping ground for failed CEOs. It also says much for the stupidity of the UK electorate, which on the whole takes no interest in stuff like the NHS until such time as its middle-class groupies can go outdoors and bang saucepans in praise of an organisation graced by the likes of Vennells and Harding.

Logitech G915 TKL: Numpad-free mechanical keyboard clicks all the right boxes

VulcanV5

So whatever happened to Cherry?

It astonishes me that Cherry is still cited so favourably in keyboard reviews. Way back when, IK had a Cherry keyboard that was an absolute joy to use: quiet, responsive, and robust. Fast forward 20-odd years, and I'm now on my 2nd Cherry keyboard (I know, I should never have bought it) in 2 years. It's dreadful: time and again the keystrokes don't register, and working with programs like Photoshop where keyboard shortcuts are pretty much a necessity becomes a nightmare. Capitalisation repeatedly fails and the whole thing feels lumpen, even dead.

I'm told that the 'origina;' Cherry no longer exists, that it's nowadays just another brand name on just yet more Chinese tatt. How true that might be, I've no idea, and lack the time and interest to bother finding out. All I know is that I'd like to have a keyboard which works as it should ( I don't need one of those flashing-light gaming things, just an 'ordinary' keyboard.)

BoJo looks to jumpstart UK economy with £6k taxpayer-funded incentive for Brits to buy electric cars – report

VulcanV5

Re: Perfect timing?

"Also who gets this money? Nissan? Renault? I'm failing to see how those foreign car companies taking tax cash benefits the uk as a whole."

The money goes to the UK car dealerships as well as the motor manufacturer.

By dint of manipulating the obsequious British motoring Press into pronouncing its £33,000 electric car as the "future of motoring", Kia has pretty much sorted out for itself a nice profitable future -- along with all its dealerships in the UK.

All that's needed are infantilised motoring 'journalists' (sic) who'll say anything in exchange for a foreign trip freebie and loan of a Press car for a week or so, and a national governing political party susceptible to motor industry lobbyists and indebted to major corporate donors whose business potfolios include car dealerships.

VulcanV5

Weird echoes?

"The government's car scrappage scheme has echoes of former Labour PM Gordon Brown's efforts to financially motivate people to buy petrol-powered cars instead of diesel."

Shomething wrong, shomewheres. . . My memory of the idiot Brown is of his extortionate increase in Road Tax on petrol engined vehicles to compel their owners to buy diesel. I've aince wondered why he's still living in retirement in the UK and not in Germany as a main board director of VAG.

Easyjet hacked: 9 million people's data accessed plus 2,200 folks' credit card details grabbed

VulcanV5
Unhappy

Chief exec Johan Lundgren apologised for the failings of his airline's "robust security measures," saying: "We would like to apologise to those customers who have been affected by this incident."

Aside from the glaringly obvious fact that something which was "robust" cannot have failed, this is yet another example of the way the higher echelons of business in the UK (and elsewhere, too) are permeated with morons all using the same prayer book to lament the evils of others whilst absolving themselves of any blame.

The idiot Lundgren must surely be on Dildo Harding's Christmas card list and vice versa. Amazing, the way this particular sub-species proliferates.

Huge if true... Trump explodes as he learns open source could erode China tech ban

VulcanV5

Kudos to journalist responsible for this

I had thought, when reading this, that it was a fiction devised to discomfort The Chosen One. However, I now realise it's all factual reportage, as signalled by the quote: "This is the stupidest thing I’ve heard since they told me I can’t buy Greenland or nuke a hurricane."

As only a fat pig-ignorant narcissistic sociopath could ever have made a remark like that, there can be no doubting the truth.

Well done Mr Sharwood. May the big purple spotted Stealth Anti-Tracing Intelligence Remote Exfiltration machine long continue.

In case you need more proof the world's gone mad: Behold, Apple's $699 Mac Pro wheels

VulcanV5
Flame

Re: About Time

@Christopher Reeve's Horse:Huh. Someone else who likes to make snide comments on the back of highly selective source material.

Truth is, though a Jordan Crystal Cable Ultimate Dream loudspeaker lead costs £54,160, it also comes with a TWO YEAR guarantee. But you forgot to mention that, right?

Hey, China. Maybe you should have held your hackers off for a bit while COVID-19 ravaged the planet. Just a suggestion

VulcanV5

Re: Do not buy Chinese made goods.

@Torchy: in which case, it'd be best not to buy anything. Because almost everything you buy will have components that originated life in that vast scumbag Communist state. . . a place, and a regime, whose existence is knowingly perpetuated by Big Commerce of a Capitalist West which wants the lowest manufacturing cost to maximize profit / executive pay / execuitve bonuses. If you want to change the way we do stuff, don't blame the Chinese or attempt to block 'em. Go after the major Western producers who, adly for them, wouldn't be able to make their $billions without cheap Chinese labour. And of course, when you've done that, and you wake up to the alarming discovery that the pension funds are no longer able to provide the returns they once did, maybe think again.

Bose shouts down claims that it borked noise cancellation firmware to sell more headphones

VulcanV5

I've an advert to sell you. Sign here. . .

Years ago, Bose came to realise that a certain type of buyer is convinced that the more they pay for something, the better that something will be. Even more so: the more they pay, the more they'll justify their choice to themselves by recommending the item to others. Bose went onto rewrite the then existing rules (which weren't really rules, just SOP where the construction of marketing budgets was concerned) by comprehending that consumer marketing, not product manufacturing, brings in the money. So . . . the company quadrupled its then advertising spend worldwide, buying up massively expensive prime spots in the print media of the day, usually entire pages (frequently, the back page) of Sunday supplements (certainly, in the UK)

The cost of this was high, but then, so was the revised product pricing as Bose realised it could factor in all of that extra cost into the product's retail price. Customers weren't forking out comparatively large sums of money for a product; they were actually forking out for an advert. Bose, when compared by size and sales to similar companies in the marketplace, out-spent 'em all by charging over-the-top prices for products that, £ for £ and $ for $, were simply not worth it compared to rival offerings. (Our own considerably cheaper Cambridge Soundworks radio/CD player is now 11 years old. It was purchased for its sonic capabilities and the reasonableness of its price after we'd had a Bose radio/CD player on a 'home trial' and found it to be nothing like as good as its advertising hype claimed.)

Bose's psychology worked well for years though: (i) buy Bose to show the world you can afford it because you're that rich and that successful. (ii) buy Bose not because you're any kind of audiophile but because it costs a fortune and it must be good. (iii) Alternatively: buy Bose because you're tone deaf and don't have a clue about the way you're paying for an advert rather than a product. Only some time down the line are you going to discover that you're not as bright as you once thought you were.

Researchers trick Tesla into massively breaking the speed limit by sticking a 2-inch piece of electrical tape on a sign

VulcanV5

McAfee rehabilitated

I went off McAfee for a while. But no longer. This is fantastic news, bits of black sticky tape strategically placed to defeat camera technology.

There's a real future for this kind of thing in locations policed by the UK's "private parking operator" scum-bags.

All that's required is to muck up up the estimated parking durations recorded by an ANPR camera and the scum-bags won't have a hope of screwing money out of anyone. End of private parking operators. And the world a much better place. . . all thanks to McAfee.

Larry Tesler cut and pasted from this mortal coil: That thing you just did? He probably invented it

VulcanV5

Re: The AI Effect

Fascinating. I remember enquiring on a Games forum last year what a particular poster knew about "the AI Effect" seeing as how he came on as being so incredibly knowledgeable about everything.

He replied: "Nah. I don;t use it anymore. The M6 may not be the best way for heading up north, but it beats the A1 any day."

Call us immediately if your child uses Kali Linux, squawks West Mids Police

VulcanV5
Flame

Lying self justifying bunch of know-nothings

What's also worth mentioning to The Fuzz should El reg ever get to the stage of "engaging" with it is the fact that folks are not as dumb as the police would like them to be, and that when it's time to apologise, best thing to do is say "sorry" instead of attempting to lie your way through it --

"the software mentioned is legal, and in the vast majority of cases is used legitimately, giving great benefit to those interested in developing legitimate skills. The purpose of this poster was to provide a quick reference guide to the range

["of legal software available that will be of so great a benefit to children that we believe parents should report them to us so we can send several patrol cars round to your front door and the kids can be personally congratulated and given signed photographs of our Chief Constable"]

I added the sentence's latter part because the police response inadvertently omitted it. Also, clarification was needed lest anyone think the assertion about "the purpose of this poster" was anything other than a blatant lie.

The sooner police and their PR departments stop preening themselves on their non-existent IT expertise andcommunication skills, and get back to nicking lawbreakers, the better. Setting an example to children by actually telling the truth when in the wrong and caught out would also be useful.

Jeff Bezos: I will depose King Trump

VulcanV5

Ain't gonna happen. . .

If Bozos via The Washington Post cannot do to Trump what the dear old WP managed to do to Nixon, then forget it. Bozos knows deposing the President is an absurd idea, and the sooner he backs off from it, the better. Investigative journalism still has the potential to wreak havoc on Trump and his reign, not least because he himself has but a limited comprehension of what Deep Throating can actually be.

Bada Bing, bada bork: Windows 10 is not happy, and Microsoft's search engine has something to do with it

VulcanV5

Reluctantly, our household has had no option but to continue using Google search because though tempted by the privacy claims made on behalf DDG, StartPage and others of similar ilk, tall have proved themselves long on piety but short on performance.

Repeatedly, search results from DDG and StartPage have been nothing like as comprehensive as those from Google, their inadequacy so serious that time and again references to stuff which turned out to be not merely relevant but particularly helpful have been entirely omitted.

One of these days someone, somewhere, is going to run a comparative test of the quantity/quality of search engine results by the Evil Google and the Saintly DDG and similarly noble StartPage. In the meantime, the myth will presumably continue to be perpetuated that DDG is in some way a credible alternative to Google when, in fact, it isn 't.

Former Autonomy boss Mike Lynch 'submits himself' for arrest in central London

VulcanV5

Re: Again, and again, and again...

Where is diplomatic immunity?

Because at this sensitive time in relations between the UK and the United States of Trump, it would be very diplomatic for US prosecutors to abandon their desire to be a Lynch mob.

What was Boeing through their heads? Emails show staff wouldn't put their families on a 737 Max over safety fears

VulcanV5

Re: If the FAA can be forced to do its job

Kudos for the best post on this thread, and fo ra timely reminder of the crux of the problem: that Boeing's "values" go no further than Boeing's stock value. . . one which is set to diminish further as Airbus's success continues to grow. Boeing loathes Airbus. It has been clear for several years that what Boeing needs to protect its future in civil aviation is an Airbus killer -- obviously not merely one a/c, but one would be a start.

Boeing's "values" were and are such that money was at the core of its considerations: you can't develop and build and sell a completely new aircraft nowadays without expenditure of $millions by both manufacturer and client

.

And Boeing knew that at the very top of the management pyramid and at every seat around the table in the Boeing boardroom. And thus it was decided to challenge Airbus on-the-cheap. Take an existing aircraft and modify it (and hey, if hardware problems develop as a result, no matter: this is the era when everything is easily sorted with a software fix: easy-peasy!) and assure existing and prospective clients that the new Boeing brings with it no significant on-costs -- it isn't even necessary to spend money on additional training for crews: after all, the 737 MAX is just another 737, folks!

Except, it wasn't and isn't. And was blatantly not a 73-800 sibling to anyone who ever saw it in the early stages of design, whether they worked at Boeing (or ran Boeing) or not. With those thumping huge engines pushed so far forward on its wings so as to avoid the undersides scraping along the ground, the 737 MAX was visually portended a disaster-waiting-to-happen long, long before any actually did.

So. No mystery about Boeing's values. The company put the value of itself first and last. Hence the 737 MAX, the Airbus killer that turned out -- pretty much inevitably -- to be a people killer.

Boeing as a corporate entity will, I'm sure, regret the deaths of so many who departed this life courtesy of the 737 MAX. But I'm guessing that such regret is as nought to the annoyance felt at the highest levels over the fact that one of the 737 MAX's victims should, of all people, turn out to have been Ralph Nader's grand-niece.

Why is a 22GB database containing 56 million US folks' personal details sitting on the open internet using a Chinese IP address? Seriously, why?

VulcanV5

Re: late capitalists

@ Drew Scriver: "Companies keep at their abuse. But consumers keep buying their wares".

Dumbed-down consumers, that is. Of whom there are many millions, all served by dumbed-down or corrupt media.

I well remember the gushing reviews for the newly updated Volkswagen Passat that appeared in motoring magazines and on motor review websites not long after the Volkswagen emissions scam was exposed.

A friend of mine bought a new Volkswagen Polo around that time. When I asked him if the emissions scandal bothered him, he said 'no: all the manufacturers are probably at it. So what can we do about it? Answer: nothing."

I hope his fcucking Polo has cost him a mint. (Here in the UK).

Ministry of Justice bod jailed for stealing £1.7m with fake IT consulting contract

VulcanV5

A civil servant who knows something about IT????!!! How the judge came to uphold the prosecution's case is a mystery.

Email blackmail brouhaha tears UKIP apart as High Court refuses computer seizure attempt

VulcanV5

Until I read this article, I had no idea that . . .

UKIP had a brain(e) of any kind. Not that I've much interest in UKIP's activities: a party which includes Neil Hamilton in its ranks is only slightly more repellent than the Liberal Democrats.

Onestream slammed for 'slamming' vulnerable and elderly folk: That's £35k to Ofcom, please

VulcanV5

"Proven and respected industry professionals" are renowned for chasing after key positions in companies with small turnovers and massive reputational damage. It's a well known fact. They rush to answer recruitment ads such as: "Proven and respected industry professionals urgently needed to replace knuckle-dragging sociopaths on our payrol."

Den Automation raised millions to 'reinvent' the light switch. Now it's lights out for startup

VulcanV5

Re: What?

Thanks you, Doctor Syntax. I've been wondering how best to describe what passes for intelligent / intelligible discourse on social media. Your revelation that on Facebook, he sad so / she sad so / they sad so is much appreciated.

Bose customers beg for firmware ceasefire after headphones fall victim to another crap update

VulcanV5

Re: "The company kept very quiet"

But you should NEVER 'talk' to what may pass for a Customer Service department of ANY energy company operating in the UK. 'Talk' (unless you've gone to the trouble of recording, transcribing, and having it all independently verified) is not in any way an archival procedure that safeguards the record. 'Talk' is deniable by the energy company -- and very often is.

Over-billing as a result of seemingly deliberately untruthful 'final readings' has long been a nice little earner for unscrupulous energy companies (of whom there are many). The only way to deal with them is initially via email and then Royal Mail Next Day surface post, the cost of which can be claimed for at the end of the complaints process.

So. . . don't ring anyone, and don't talk about 'I'll tell the enargy regulator' because that's ridiculous: no ordinary domestic user can "talk to the regulator", never has done, never been able to, never will. That's why the happy clappy and largely useless friend-to-all Energy Ombudsman 'service' was set up: to get between you and the regulator.

VulcanV5

dear Anonymous Coward

Astonishing to learn that the Jo Swinson person had even been born by 2015, let alone was responsible in that year for a major piece of UK legislation.Somewhat less astonishing to discover the LibDems becoming so desperate that they have to come on here in an attempt to score points. BOSE isn't the only entity out there with delusions of adequacy.

Magic Leap rattles money tin, assigns patents to a megabank, sues another ex-staffer... But fear not, all's fine

VulcanV5

Re: not a surprise

Time and again, I encounter comments on threads like this to the effect that investors are stupid because they're shoving $billions into stuff that's worthless.

Actually, they're not stupid at all. The world is full of dirty money -- drugs, terrorists, organised and disorganized crime as well as individual mega-fraudsters -- and it has to be laundered somewhere, somehow.

The remorseless rise of utter crap Hollywood-style movies says it all, as well as the exponential growth in property prices in London and other major cities. Dirty money needs spending, ditty money needs cleaning: the maddest of the mad offerings from Silicon Valley as well as movie production and property purchasing provides for that (and yes, recipients of funds on that scale will always have more than a faint idea of where it came from and how it was accumulated.)

We're almost into the third decade of the 21st century and we're still grading security bugs out of 10 like kids. Why?

VulcanV5
Unhappy

Gave up . . .

I gave up this far into the report: ""The challenge is the whole vulnerability management space has been evolving," Rogers said, "but it is being outpaced by the evolution of how we leverage attacks."

Over the years I've developed a distinct aversion to anything about levers, leverage and leveraging along with curator, curating and curation and all the other bumfluff that's taken root in the vocabulary of the loquacious if not the intelligible.

I'm beginning to think it's time we, all of us, embarked on a journey in which others regardless of ethnicity, faith and gender join in The Conversation about what a lever is and what a lever does.

IT contractor has £240k bill torn up after IR35 win against UK taxman

VulcanV5

Re: I cannot understand why HMRC pursues contractors so much.

@jmch: "I do blame the government that nominally sets the rules. I blame even more the companies who pay huge sums to lobbyists, government entities, think-thanks etc to get laws written for them in a way that they can game the system and save obscene amounts, next to which the huge amounts they pay to get what they want are a relative pittance. And the government officials allowing this are doubly fools for being so cheaply bought."

Sorry to disagree, but there's very little that's foolish about government officials playing fast and loose with legislation and indulging the profit-chasing money-grubbing of various private sector enterprises -- generally, the bigger the better -- until such time as said officials are due to take early retirement from the Civil Service. At which point, the well-known revolving door between public sector and private sector spins again and, by remarkable coincidence, the same officials who over the years have been so lenient in regulatory matters in regard to certain companies, find themselves in plum jobs at senior management or Board level at those same companies. 'Tis the way the world work, sadly, and is tolerated by an electorate too du and too inert to campaign for the demolition of that revolving door.

A stranger's TV went on spending spree with my Amazon account – and web giant did nothing about it for months

VulcanV5
Unhappy

Amazon takes security seriously. As in my case.

This is the text of an email I received out-of-the-blue from Amazon a couple of weeks ago:

Hello,

We are writing to let you know that your name, email address, and phone number were disclosed by an Amazon employee to a third-party in violation of our policies. As a result, the employee has been terminated, and we are supporting law enforcement in their prosecution. No other information related to your account was shared. This is not a result of anything you have done, and there is no need for you to take any action.

Sincerely,

Amazon Customer Service

Please note: this e-mail was sent from a notification-only address that cannot accept incoming e-mail. Please do not reply to this message.

So. That's all right then. No-one at Amazon for me to talk to, no further details available. Employee. . . terminated. Ah. (email from no-reply@amazon.com, not amazon.co.uk).

UK ads watchdog slaps Amazon for UX dark arts after folk bought Prime subs they didn't want

VulcanV5

Re: So-called Amazon!?!? Better in my day!

I'm thinking you're the bloke from whom I bought some 386SX bits via a BBS sales deal around 1994. If so, Mr Omidyar, I'm here to tell you the stuff didn't work and I want a refund. (By the way, what are you up to nowadays? Still in San Francisco?)

Here's that hippie, pro-privacy, pro-freedom Apple y'all so love: Hong Kong protest safety app banned from iOS store

VulcanV5
Unhappy

A app to track Apple product users

Seeing as how in the interests of personal security it makes sense to steer clear of unbalanced irrational individuals, an app which allows users to see how close they may be to the location of someone who owns an Apple product would be of benefit to many.

VulcanV5
Happy

Re: Apple's suppliers in china don't care what apple does ouside of business

Interesting notion that Chinese Communism takes the form of thriving private enterprise wholly independent of Government control and Government sanction . Who'd a-thought it?

RIP Danny Cohen: The computer scientist who gave world endianness meets his end aged 81

VulcanV5

Re: "straightforward explanations" ???

@ bob, mon! Thanks for being kind enough to take the trouble to provide that link. Mulling over that now-ancient typescript is not too dissimilar to Danny's flight simulator: the reading time duration is, if only for a brief time, akin to a life simulator, an experience providing insights into the existence of a remarkable human being. So sorry that his own journey here is over, but the shuddering hell of Parkinson's is no kind of life at all, for anyone.

I could throttle you right about now: US Navy to ditch touchscreens after kit blamed for collision

VulcanV5

Generation Moron rules the waves. . . and so much else, too.

Didn't any of the US Navy's 'senior management' (assuming such exists) ever bother to actually try out the touch-screen control system for themselves? Despair could've set in at that stage, rather than later. From El Reg's description, it seems what was installed was a needlessly complicated set-up intended principally to demonstrate the cleverness of the moron who coded it -- as is the case with so much else.

The other day I wanted to play a single track on an album of MP3s I've compiled over the years from my own collection but no. Apple decided what I wanted to do was open every single home-made album and decant a total of 480 tracks from which to then attempt to find the one I'd already nominated.

The older I get, the more tired I become of the morons out there who wish me to conform to their way of doing things.

Outraged Virgin slaps IP trolls over dirty movie download data demands

VulcanV5

ACS Law

Well done Virgin for being a bit cross(ley) about this.

Dear hackers: If you try to pwn a website for phishing, make sure it's not the personal domain of a senior Akamai security researcher

VulcanV5

Wot: no Leisuresuit?

As no-one in this life, or this world, is called 'Larry Cashdollar', it's difficult to believe anything in this report. Thanks but no thanks: Arthur Moneybags.

Meet the Great Duke of... DLL: Microsoft shines light on Astaroth, a devilishly sneaky strain of fileless malware

VulcanV5
Happy

Headline of the Year. Decade. Century, maybe.

Boom boom boom dah dee boom (probably a misquote; my ability to remember Wordsworthian lyrics isn't that strong). But anyway.

Dook Dook Dook Dook of Derll . . .

Classic El Reg. So classic it took me several minutes to figure it out. Well done, whichever Vulture Sub it is who's flying so high as this.

I look forward to further excursions into the past with references to Phyllosan and Gibbs SR (both long overdue.) Graded grains make finer flour: a reprise of that, too. As for the greatest musical compositions since the dawn of civilisation, Dook of Derll is still but a pale shadow of Purple People Eater.

Mike Lynch in court: I was not aware of every single thing Autonomy did around the world (so don't blame me)

VulcanV5

Smug gits sweat profusely

You only have to take one look at a photograph of any smug git to be delighted at the thought that away from the camera it's dripping sweat every day at the increasingly imminent prospect of jail time. Any smug git's picture will do.

Uncle Sam wants to read your tweets, check out your Instagram, log your email addresses before you enter the Land of the Free on a visa

VulcanV5

I seem to remember an earlier sophisticated attempt by US authorities to identify security threats, a cleverly worded section of text on the visa application form:

'Are you now or have you ever been a terorist? And what about your great grandmother, please provide details of her criminal record.

One man went to mow a meadow, hoping Trump would spot giant grass snake under flightpath

VulcanV5

Re: 75th aniversary of D-Day

Go on then. Tell us.

What exactly happened on June 4th 75 years ago?

VulcanV5

Obama's backing of Remain's Project Fear was one of the greatest triumphs of The Leave campaign.

Leave would never have won the June 2016 referendum if Cameron and Osborne had supported it.

And now: Johnson has Trump's backing as Tory Party Leader and prospective Prime Minister. Be interesting (not) to see how that plays out.

VulcanV5

Terms of endearment?

Bit baffling as to why The Register should be so dumb as to feed the deranged Trump's vanity by essaying the definitive article to nourish his own preening self-regard as America's absolutely definitive President.

'The Donald' is a term of affection most suited to a pet duck or any heroic figure of well-nigh legendary status, neither of which Trump is nor could ever be, even if a resonance exists with the former: looks like a clown, talks like a clown, is a clown.

Please: no more 'The Donald', huh? There's nothing endearing about this narcissistic moron nor his devaluation of the Office of President and of the USA itself.

Egg on North Face: Wikipedia furious after glamp-wear giant swaps article pics for sneaky ad shots – and even brags about it in a video

VulcanV5

Re: To play devil's advocate...

@ "If they'd wanted positive press out of this, they could have made a big noise about having a project to create these pictures for wikipedia, without having to include their branding in the pictures themselves."

Unforuntaely, you're attributing to an advertising agency a level of intelligence it doesn't have.

VulcanV5

Advertised by morons. Bought by idiots.

Haven't a clue what your wait-a-minute question is intended to mean. As for Leo Burnett Tailor Made, an agency so desperate that it has to pump up its own title and so vacuous as to waste time and money on, er, out-witting Wikipedia isn't one that any self-respecting major client would go near. The stunt it pulled in this instance was actually as nothing to the product placement achieved by the client itself with the BBC's so-called 'news reporters most of whom at one time or another have, by amazing coincidence, appeared on camera in North Face outdoor wear with logo prominently displayed. The cleverness there, as noted by prospective clients, was the company's recognition both of the existence of a mass audience's mass stupidity, and the fact that so many aspirational journalists would realise immediately that getting a degree in Media Studies would never be enough unless one bought the clothing appropriate to that kind of scholarship. As for Leo Burnett Etc Etc indicting itself, it's well known in the industry that if there's one thing more stupid than the client, it's the agency.

EE switches on 5G: Oi, where are your Mates? Yes, we mean the Huawei phones

VulcanV5

Re: Bit of a crap deal

I remember the day my then nextdoor neighbour was given a so-called 'mobile phone' by his employer. This would be somewhere around 1986, I think. The only reason I knew my neighbour had something no-one else did in our street (and was therefore, possibly, a Very Important Person) was because he was standing at the point where his driveway joined the road and so if anyone happened to look out their front window, they'd see him there, conversing with what appeared to be a small brick held to his ear. As I have no interest in exploring the state of someone else's mental health, I didn't say anything to him about his odd behaviour, but mentioned it the following weekend 'over the garden hedge'. He informed me he was using A Mobile Phone (something that works without wires, yeah?) but which, mystifyingly, didn't have "good reception" (nor did the tacky hotel around the corner from where we lived at that time) and so he had no alternative but to stand out there on his drive to make and receive calls. I suggested he maybe walk a bit further to the nearby red GPO phone box if he felt in need of exercise.) For at least a week, he was to be seen at the bottom of his drive. When a family friend dropped by one evening and happened to espy him, she asked my wife if there was something wrong with him. My wife said oh, he's harmless enough: one of those deluded blokes with a very small brick which they like to wave around in hope of impressing people.

We've long since moved from that neighbourhood. I do wonder though what other men with small bricks will do to show how important (and/or how stupid) they are that they can afford to throw loadsa money away on 5G.

Russian bots are just for rigging US elections? They hit home, too: Kid stripped of crown in TV contest vote-fix scandal

VulcanV5
Happy

Katy Boyle

Have an upvote for mentioning Katy Boyle. I'll give you another if you can mention Gracie Fields in a later comment on this thread.

Talk about a ticket to ride... London rail passengers hear pr0n grunts over PA system

VulcanV5

Re: Evidence

@semtex451: It's not "journo's" (sic) whoever they might be who have "free license in Headlines, grammar is never applied in part, to make us read the article" but Subs (sub-edtors, who are underwater versions of journalists and very often failed reporters or failed English language teachers.) Headlines are written to fit a space in the page design, and may be clever or prosaic. El Reg's are rarely (if ever) the latter.

On the evidence of your defective pedantry, it would seem you yourself are a failed English language teacher: '"audience played noise at'" music festival" when they mean "audience were (sic) played noise at music festival"' is even more incomprehensible than the average railway platform announcement. Well done!

VulcanV5

Re: Cockfosters

@ Forum MCForumface's "Cockfosters is if anything) a slang term for urine".

Are you taking the slang term here?

Because you couldn't be more wrong. If you knew a bit more about pr0n you'd be well aware of the fact that when a male performer is, um, ready to perform, he is said to have got Oakwood.

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