* Posts by Christoph

3320 publicly visible posts • joined 24 Dec 2007

Hackers bragged that pretty vanilla breach included FBI watchlist? Well, colour us shocked

Christoph

Re: But you can never leave

They check whether people are really dead, and if they are still voting in Chicago they assume they must be alive.

A quick cup of coffee leaves production manager in fits and a cleaner in tears

Christoph

Re: Until...

Open plan office. Group of secretarys' desks around floor flap with two 13-amp sockets. Each secretary had power to a computer, and to a CRT. And they had a fan heater. No other unused sockets within reach.

One socket had one computer plugged into it. The other had a power bar.

The power bar had computers and CRTs plugged in. And another power bar.

That had computers, CRTs, and a third power bar.

That had computers, CRTs, and the fan heater.

Well, I couldn't make it a good setup, but when I'd finished rearranging it the fan heater had one socket, and the other socket had a power bar with both the other bars plugged into it.

Christoph

Re: Builders...

I managed to avoid a problem with builders. The building right next door to my ground floor computer room was being demolished and redeveloped. The computer room had a raised floor with huge amounts of cabling underneath. I made sure that the bloke from Rentokil did a very thorough job on that underfloor space!

Watch Toyota's huge basketball robot shoot a hoop, and read up on how you should think about AI and, erm, Jesus

Christoph

"another matches faces to ones in a database, and the third detects objects like guns in video feeds."

"I've been trained on mostly white faces and anyway am bad on dark skin tones, so all black people look alike - so that's definitely the criminal in the database. And that fleck of mud on his hand tricks my image recognition so that I identify it as a gun. SHOOT!"

New UK counter-terror laws come into force today – watch those clicks, people. You see, terrorist propag... NOOO! Alexa ignore us!

Christoph

Re: No doubt coming to the USA

Oh, and don't mention anything containing the phrase "Dread Pirate Roberts" because that obviously refers to the terrorist supporting Silk Road site. Any other explanation would be Inconceivable.

Christoph

Re: No doubt coming to the USA

Certainly don't watch anything promoting the multiple bombings of civilians carried out by the USA and its allies.

What do you mean, "It's not terrorism if it's us doing it!"?

French internet cops issue terrorist takedown for… Grateful Dead recordings?

Christoph

"books as horrifying as The Tale of Peter Rabbit and Alice in Wonderland."

Damn right. Alice was an illegal immigrant to Wonderland and caused all sorts of trouble until they chased her out again.

Christoph

Re: Seems the principal problem is not the legislation

Blessed are the Cheesemakers

Motion detectors: say hello, wave goodbye and… flushhhhhh

Christoph

"less reliable delivery companies than Hermes "

A couple of days ago Hermes sent me an email saying "Your parcel is now with your local Hermes courier for delivery".

At 8:05pm

The parcel had been delivered at 12:15 that afternoon.

User secures floppies to a filing cabinet with a magnet, but at least they backed up daily... right?

Christoph

Re: stop me if you've heard this one....

"fetch me some stripy paint"

Here you go

Israeli Moon probe crashes at the last minute but SpaceX scores with Falcon Heavy launch

Christoph

Re: crashed minutes before landing?

[Elon's Tesla]

Town admits 'a poor decision was made' after baseball field set on fire to 'dry' it more quickly

Christoph

Yes, playing fields tend to be on the flood plain. Because anything else you put there would get regularly flooded, which a field can recover from.

Pity that they now let developers build over those fields - and then they are so surprised when after the developer has departed with the profits the new buildings get flooded.

Christoph

Re: For what it's worth

Having cleaned most of the alcohol off, the small remaining amount went 'whoosh' fast enough that the film wasn't damaged.

BT Tower broadcasts error message to the nation as Windows displays admin's shame

Christoph

"famed for both its revolving top floor and, more recently, for the banks of LEDs at its summit

And for being knocked down by a giant kitten.

HMRC accused of not understanding its own IR35 tax reforms ahead of private sector rollout

Christoph

"improved guidance, better phraseology and improved language that gives greater certainty to individuals who make inquiries".

And a fluffy pink unicorn!

Probe-on-asteroid violence as Japan's Hayabusa2 chucks screaming chunk of base metal at Ryugu

Christoph

Beresheet

Does anyone else think that name sounds like something you'd find in the woods?

How do you sing 'We're jamming and we hope you like jamming, too' in Russian? Kremlin's sat-nav spoofing revealed

Christoph

"the US Global Positioning System (GPS), Russia's GLONASS, the EU's Galileo, China's BeiDou, Japan's QZSS and India's NavIC."

But will it block our wonderful (and wonderfully expensive) BrexitNav?

The curious case of a WordPress plugin, a rival site spammed with traffic, a war of words, and legal threats

Christoph

"This bit looks very bad but is really totally innocent. And this completely different bit is also really innocent. And this other completely different bit."

Once is chance, twice is coincidence ...

Office Depot, OfficeMax, Support.com cough up $35m after charging folks millions in 'fake' malware cleanup fees

Christoph

The first stage in correcting this kind of behaviour is to accept and admit that what you were doing was wrong.

If they had admitted wrong-doing and done a public house-cleaning with outside supervision, it might be possible to trust them again.

Since they have adamantly refused to accept that there was anything wrong with what they were doing, they can never be trusted again.

UK pr0n viewers plan to circumvent smut-block measures – survey

Christoph

Will the Houses of Parliament have a single mechanism to bypass this, or will each politician have to set up their own bypass?

6 days to go, no sweat, just more than a million UK firms still to sign up to Making Tax Digital

Christoph
Facepalm

"Many businesses are using MTD as an opportunity to finally move from legacy software or spreadsheets to a fully fledged cloud accounting solution, and this can take time,"

Or to put it another way:

Many businesses who have been running on out-of-date software and so have no current technical expertise will be putting all their critical business accounting information in the cloud where it can get nicked if they haven't set it up properly.

NASA's first all-woman spacewalk outside ISS cancelled – due to lack of spacesuits that fit

Christoph

The real problem

The available spacesuits had pockets, so they couldn't let women wear them.

UK.gov flushed away £15k defending pupil nationality data slurp – then canned scheme

Christoph

"Hey, kid, what is your nationality?"

"Klingon. Want to argue about it?"

Dodgy US government facial data grab, self-nannying cars, and a chance for non-techies to learn about AI

Christoph

There's a perfectly clear justification for using all those photos without consent.

"Because we can, and there's f**k all you can do about it so tough."

Netflix wants to choose its own adventure where Bandersnatch trademark case magically vanishes

Christoph

Option 3:

Netflix rename that episode "Boojum", and the legal case will softly and suddenly vanish away.

Russian sailors maroon themselves in Bristol Channel after drunken dinghy ride goes awry

Christoph

Were their names by any chance the Russian equivalents of Murray, Phillips and Pertwee?

Christoph

Re: Mate of mine

Were all the crocodiles asleep?

Who pressured WHO to put gaming on a par with drug addiction to help silence political dissent? Oh hi there, China

Christoph
Big Brother

"trying to extend their power so you guys don't have the vocabulary either."

"The purpose of Newspeak was not only to provide a medium of expression for the world-view and mental habits proper to the devotees of Ingsoc, but to make all other modes of thought impossible. Its vocabulary was so constructed as to give exact and often very subtle expression to every meaning that a Party member could properly wish to express, while excluding all other meaning and also the possibility of arriving at them by indirect methods. This was done partly by the invention of new words, but chiefly by eliminating undesirable words and stripping such words as remained of unorthodox meanings, and so far as possible of all secondary meaning whatever."

Croydon school rolling in toilet roll after Brexit gift deemed unfit for the Queen's Anus Horribilis

Christoph

Re: schools

"hurl rolls of toilet paper back and forth over a house "

Tricky to do with terraced houses.

Christoph

In days of old when knights were bold, and paper not invented

They wiped their arse with bits of grass and walked away contented.

NASA: We need commercial rockets! SLS: Oh no you don't!

Christoph

"the events leading up to the loss of Space Shuttle Columbia"

Challenger was under pressure to launch before the President's State of the Union address.

Astroboffins spot hefty pair swinging together. What? Um, we're talking about record-breaking massive binary stars...

Christoph

Re: Which way to the nearest supernova?

It's badly phrased. I think it means they are the closest to each other, nothing to do with closest to Earth.

'It's like painting with atoms'... Watch how boffins form armies of simple micron-sized bots from a silicon wafer

Christoph

OK you can inject them into the body and they will still function. Then what? How do you get them out again when they've done their job? I doubt something that size will get out through the kidneys.

While this CEO may be stiff, his customers are rather stuffed: Quadriga wallets finally cracked open – nothing inside

Christoph

"the sixth was emptied in December 2018."

"Cotten died while traveling through Jaipur on December 9"

Why is there no mention of what date in December the sixth wallet was emptied? Whether it was before or after the 9th is rather critical. If it was after then either someone else had the key codes or the death was faked.

TalkTalk kept my email account active for 8 years after I left – now it's spamming my mates

Christoph

I wonder if the next thing to happen is that they charge her for that email account?

Silent Merc, holy e-car... Mflllwhmmmp! What is that terrible sound?

Christoph

How about ...

The hideous ear-mangling screech that used to precede announcements on the Tube a few years ago?

Christoph

"A Tesla going past at 30mph seems as loud as a petrol car."

In space, no-one can hear your Tesla's tire noise.

You have the right to remain on-prem, but you should really head for the cloud, UK plod told

Christoph

There's some very nasty security issues

The possible problems are not just the standard one tiny configuration mistake and all your data can be read globally (and there's some horrendously sensitive data that might leak - such as thugs finding out who shopped them).

But suppose someone gets write access? Delete their own records and the evidence - or add records and 'evidence' to someone else's file. And all sorts of other nasties depending on just what gets stored.

Real life sci-fi: Massive exoplanet booted out of home by binary parents – then slipped back inside by passing friendly stars

Christoph

Or possibly it originated from the other binary system and was later captured by the one it's in now? Is there any way to tell?

Boffins put the FUN into fungus by rigging yeast to squirt out the active ingredients in cannabis

Christoph
Happy

Re: lots of heat, light and water.

Yes, why not get it from one of the places it grows naturally without needing any input at all?

"Well, I may be crazy, but I think not.

I'd swear to God that I smell pot.

But who'd have pot in Vietnam?

He said, "What do you think you're sittin' on?"

These funny little plants, thousands of them.

Good God Almighty... Pastures of Plenty!"

-- Tom Paxton, Talking Vietnam Pot Luck blues

Spooky! Solar System's Planet NINE could be discovered in the next NINE years (plus one to six), say astroboffins

Christoph
Alien

So they are looking for ...

Planet Nine in Outer Space

In hilariously petulant move, Apple shuts Texas stores and reopens them few miles down the road – for patent reasons

Christoph

Makes perfect sense to me

If the people of East Texas want to keep letting copyright trolls win, then it makes sense for every company that can do it to have no presence in East Texas. They may need to also refuse to deliver internet orders to any address in that area. The residents can then either drive al long way any time they want to buy something, or sit at home and chip flint. Or stop supporting copyright trolls.

Amazon Prime Air flight crashes in Texas after 6,000ft nosedive

Christoph

If you want some hard data from experienced people, or reams and reams of wild speculation, you can get both on the PPRuNe thread

Oldest white dwarf star catches amateur's eye – and its dusty ring leaves boffins baffled

Christoph

Not the " oldest-known white dwarf star", but as mentioned later "almost three times older than any other white dwarf known to have a dusty disk around it."

White dwarfs without a ring can be much older.

Gliese 223.2 is only 21 light years away ad is nearly 8 billion years old. The oldest known white dwarfs are around 12 billion years old.

Techie in need of a doorstop picks up 'chunk of metal' – only to find out it's rather pricey

Christoph

Very similar story

I was once told (by an engineer colleague who'd done some work there) of a place that made very high-grade relays with platinum tips on the contacts.

A V60 (very large) reel of platinum wire went missing. A panicked search eventually found the cleaner who had needed something to stand on to reach a high window.

Want to create fake web profile pics? This creepy AI tool makes them on demand. Plus predictive policing, and more

Christoph

"If anything it's set a bar: your writing online must be GPT-2-level coherent – which is to say, not terribly coherent – or else you might be discarded as a bot"

But can it imitate amanfromMars?

Help us sniff out 50 neutron star collisions so we can calculate universe expansion, cosmoboffins plead

Christoph

Re: How small can you make a black hole?

You what?

Crash, bang, wallop: What a power-down. But what hit the kill switch?

Christoph

Central computer room in open plan office. Since they might have to evacuate in a hurry if the halon was about to drop, the Big Red Button was placed on the wall outside - in the open plan office. With no warning label.

Later, same solution - hinged box of clear plastic.

Granddaddy of the DIY repair generation John Haynes has loosened his last nut

Christoph

Re: RIP

I managed to just use the one for my first two cars - both were Half-Timbered Morris.

One click and you're out: UK makes it an offence to view terrorist propaganda even once

Christoph

"Once a defendant has raised this defence, the burden of proof (to the criminal standard) to disprove this defence will rest with the prosecution,"

And have you ever considered the advantages of buying this really nice bridge?